With my last breath, I shall mightily bellow,
"Penis!"
If that doesn't save my life, then it will at least make a very amusing last word that the said evil generic henchmen will talk about for years to come with friends, relatives, and even their children when they finally get old enough to start taking up their father's mantles in the henchmanning business. No matter of how many stalwart and exemplary heroes and protagonists they thwart and regardless of the beautiful, meaningful and deep final speeches they give, they will never have a scenario quite as amusing and timeless.
Time will go on, and the tale of that one weird man to exclaim "Penis!" as his epithet to his relentless aggressors shall metamorphisize from local tale of inexplicable weirdness to timeless tale of surreality, and kingdoms and nations shall be built upon the lessons learned from the then-ancient legend. Statues shall be built of me, and monarchs shall take my name. A new world will arise from "Penis!".
... That, or it would be "DEARGODDERAGODDEARGOD PLEASEDON'TKILLME!TAKE MY SON INSTEAD!" to which I would offer up some one else's child as I did siphon their gasoline from their SUV earlier that day (because stable and satisfying marital bonds and responsible procreation are for turkeys).
