Online dating syndrome.

[MetalMagpie]

My one adventure with eHarmony was a disaster.

They guarantee three matches in 90 days. I didn't get one. Then I called them to ask what they do in the event that no match is found, they said they extend the subscription until you get the guaranteed three matches.

After they had to extend my sub an additional three months, I called them back to ask something along the lines of "Seriously???"

Then, a week or two later, I got an email that they had found a match.

With someone 100 miles away.

With no picture on the profile.

No personal information.

Only a name:

Dorko. No last name. Just "Dorko".

I cancelled my sub the next day.

I can't help it. I'm giggling madly at my desk right now. I think it was the name "Dorko".

 

[smithy_2045]

Never done any online dating, but I had a very similar experience on this very site. Eventually they just stopped responding altogether for some unknown reason.

 

[Weaver]

I've been on an online dating site for probably like half a year now. I've talked to a few women on there; had messages from some that were... um... let's say prohibitively rotund in my opinion. Please don't judge me, it's a personal turn off and, quite frankly, I bust my ass to stay in moderate shape and keep the pounds off.

My issue is that
1) From the girls I talked to, none of them seemed to know how conversation worked. I would write long replies, ask some questions, trying to inject energy and personality into them, etc. They just had short, slim replies that gave me very little to work with in terms of sending a reply back.

2) Akin to this, so many people are just BORING. How many people do you find that "love to travel, like some bands and play a sport"? Like 90% of the people on there are like that. They're just too normal for me. I guess I always liked the weird girls.

 

[Fappy]

Never used an online dating site but I know the feeling in regards to texting/messaging/etc. MY OPINION MUST MATTER ENOUGH TO WARRANT RESPONSE!

 

[Naeras]

my ex-girlfriend made an online dating account for me and for herself about a year and a half ago on this free dating website, just for "shits n giggles" you know...her words
My ex's had responses coming in left right and center the day after she made them

I never kept track of mine - and when I did break up just recently (two months ago maybe..) I remembered and went to go delete it. No responses. Cant say I wasnt a little bit disappointed.

but from some of my guy mates that have accounts as well on the same site, its the norm apparently.

My impression is that either you find someone interesting within the first day or something after joining, or you won't find anyone at all. I remember joining one: got three responses within an hour and then nothing at all. I did talk quite a bit with one of those, although that kinda stopped when she made my warning lights go off on a regular basis.


That being said, I know several people who actually found people that they got into serious relationships with, and statistically relationships stemming from online dating are quite successful, so apparently it works. No idea how exactly how it works, but apparently it does.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

Never used online dating sites (even though I married a girl I met online) so I really never had that issue. I do get that way with text sometimes. Sarcasm, jokes, and other things that require a proper tone to convey often makes it difficult for me. My personality is full of sarcasm and joking around... trying to put that in text can lead to disaster real quick.

 

[Hoplon]

If only I got to that stage...

 

[WaysideMaze]

My one adventure with eHarmony was a disaster.

They guarantee three matches in 90 days. I didn't get one. Then I called them to ask what they do in the event that no match is found, they said they extend the subscription until you get the guaranteed three matches.

After they had to extend my sub an additional three months, I called them back to ask something along the lines of "Seriously???"

Then, a week or two later, I got an email that they had found a match.

With someone 100 miles away.

With no picture on the profile.

No personal information.

Only a name:

Dorko. No last name. Just "Dorko".

I cancelled my sub the next day.

<color=magenta>You cancelled your sub? But they sound perfect for you! And so close to home aswell!

Never used a dating site. Not because I'm some kind of stud, far from it, I've been single for years and even that last relationship wasn't worth anything.

I probably should, I work nights in a warehouse full of men. Not the easiest place to meet women.

 

[Hoplon]

I don't believe in dating let alone online dating. A majority of females on this planet believe that their looks are important and their intelligence can take a back seat in life, hell not even that, most of the time intelligence is left a hole somewhere.

I'd rather not interact with females that slather pig fat all over their faces, cover themselves with skimpy clothing and have troubles contorling their own emotions.

I'm a dedicated kind of being, when I see my one and only I'll know it. I'm quite comfortable knowing there's a possibility that I'll die without meeting such a being.

In the end, I'm still living and dating remains irrelevant to me.

Way to generalise there buddy.
Also, why would you bother to post in this thread?

I wonder if he is part of the weird misogynist on line group, I forget what they are called.

 

[SwimmingRock]

My one adventure with eHarmony was a disaster.

They guarantee three matches in 90 days. I didn't get one. Then I called them to ask what they do in the event that no match is found, they said they extend the subscription until you get the guaranteed three matches.

After they had to extend my sub an additional three months, I called them back to ask something along the lines of "Seriously???"

Then, a week or two later, I got an email that they had found a match.

With someone 100 miles away.

With no picture on the profile.

No personal information.

Only a name:

Dorko. No last name. Just "Dorko".

I cancelled my sub the next day.

I hope you understand that when I say that story is hilarious, I mean it in the most sympathetic way possible. I mean, I feel genuinely bad for you while I'm laughing, but it's too funny not to laugh. I hope your future endeavours in the dating world pan out better.

OT: I expect any attempt on my part to use a dating site would be about as unsuccessful as the story itsthesheppy related, which I quoted above. The most common response I get in real life is "eewwww...", so attempting to get a date via a method where appearance and first impressions are even more important just doesn't seem very productive. If anything, I would be a Dorko XD.... I'm sorry, it's just too funny.

 

[Hoplon]

I wonder if he is part of the weird misogynist on line group, I forget what they are called.

Virgins?

*snerk* No, wait... I have no idea but it was more "Feminism means I can't get laid, women are evil blah blah blah" I think it's The Manosphere or something.

Sorry OP. not intentional honest.

 

[everythingbeeps]

I haven't used dating sites myself but I definitely know the feeling. If someone doesn't reply to a text I think 'Oh no, what I wrote must be stupid/lame/offensive'.
Even here on the escapist I think 'aww no why did I write that. They must think I'm such a moron.'

Ditto. It's certainly not unique to dating sites. It happens everywhere you can see someone's online.

I stopped worrying about it ages ago though. More often than not, they just haven't seen the message yet.

 

[Soxafloppin]

I was on Plenty of Fish for a bit, mainly for a laugh.

But the website should be renamed plenty of creeps, all I can say is that there is plenty of Cougars in Northern Ireland.

What people are saying about not being replied too is very similar to my experience with Chat Roulette.

Guy wanking. next.
Guy Wanking. next.
Guy Wanking. next.
Oh hey, a girl! I bet she'l be glad to actually get a chat with a guy who isnt actually masturbat- aaaaaaaaaaaand shes gone.

 

[Nimzabaat]

I've tried online dating but the basic problem is people have that buffer zone where they don't have to reject a person. That's the main downfall. When talking to someone on the street (figure of speech) you have to look them in the eye and possibly see the hurt of rejection and all that. When you're just ignoring someone on a website you can make believe there's not a person on the other end.

The other problem i've seen with online dating is that people generally tend to over-sell. When you meet a member of the opposite sex irl, they don't come off as "take me to a beach, then sky-diving, skiing, water-skiing, now, now, now" However a lot of peoples online profiles try to make it look like they are the most exciting person ever.

Then there's the logic gap between men and women. As a guy, I go "hmmm I like computers, I should look for someone within the realm of that interest. Online dating!" While women go "I have no interest in computers and am barely computer literate... I should try online dating!". You literally find a lot of outdoorsy people doing the online dating thing. So by that logic, the best way to find a gamer girl or at least a gaming-tolerant girl is to go outside where people are playing sports. (?)

So yeah, not getting a reply from people is pretty common.

 

[TheBanMan_v1legacy]

I've done my time on online dating sites over the years; found it was a nice way to meet new people in new cities. Sure, I've had my moments of disappointment when I didn't get a response, but life goes on. Important thing I found was not to get too hung up on it. It could be for any number of reasons:

- They are trying to think of something witty to reply with
- They are not interested
- They don't have the time to respond right now
- They are too busy reporting you...
- And on and on...

Sometimes you get a response and you kinda wish you hadn't! In the end I think my experience is summed up best by something I saw in a horoscope at The Onion:

"They say there's plenty of fish in the sea, but everything you catch is either covered in scales, has concentrated levels of mercury, or suffers from deep-seated abandonment issues."

 

[Fasckira]

It's almost as bad as online package tracking; refresh, refresh, refresh. Anyone ever used one of these sites and gotten paranoid over why someone isn't replying even though you can see they're online?

Oh and if you happen to be on the escapist too, reply you cad!

[heebie jeebies] I'm making captcha nervous with my crazy spinster talk.

I think it depends on what message you sent that person - you never know, they could just be thinking best how to respond without putting you off, or unwilling to appear too keen. Or you may have creeped them out beyond belief