Online dating syndrome.

[kurupt87]

I wonder if he is part of the weird misogynist on line group, I forget what they are called.

Virgins?

*snerk* No, wait... I have no idea but it was more "Feminism means I can't get laid, women are evil blah blah blah" I think it's The Manosphere or something.

Sorry OP. not intentional honest.

Hah, "I feel emasculated so now I'll whine about it online like a little girl". Those guys are cool.

To be fair, they do accidentally come up with a valid point now and then but err, no, mostly not.

My one adventure with eHarmony was a disaster.

They guarantee three matches in 90 days. I didn't get one. Then I called them to ask what they do in the event that no match is found, they said they extend the subscription until you get the guaranteed three matches.

After they had to extend my sub an additional three months, I called them back to ask something along the lines of "Seriously???"

Then, a week or two later, I got an email that they had found a match.
With someone 100 miles away.
With no picture on the profile.
No personal information.
Only a name:
Dorko. No last name. Just "Dorko".
I cancelled my sub the next day.

Baha, someone in admin wanted to have a little fun with you lol.

---

I haven't used a dating site, but that'd be because I'm not looking for a date. If I were and I had, I can't imagine it'd be a barrel of laughs.

 

[HardkorSB]

It's almost as bad as online package tracking; refresh, refresh, refresh. Anyone ever used one of these sites and gotten paranoid over why someone isn't replying even though you can see they're online?

Oh and if you happen to be on the escapist too, reply you cad!

[heebie jeebies] I'm making captcha nervous with my crazy spinster talk.

Well, there's this unspoken rule (a stupid one but it exists nevertheless) that if you reply right away, you must be desperate.
Sometimes, people will purposefully wait, even though they don't like to do it, just so the other side won't think that way about them.

It's the same with calling/texting someone. You don't do it right away (not often, anyway), you wait some time (usually at least until the next day) and then do it.

 

[The Funslinger]

I haven't used dating sites myself but I definitely know the feeling. If someone doesn't reply to a text I think 'Oh no, what I wrote must be stupid/lame/offensive'.
Even here on the escapist I think 'aww no why did I write that. They must think I'm such a moron.'

I occasionally have a few moments like that with my Instant Messaging pen pal.

Most of the time, it's just because she wanders off to gather food like some kind of nerdy squirrel.

 

[Fasckira]

It's the same with calling/texting someone. You don't do it right away (not often, anyway), you wait some time (usually at least until the next day) and then do it.

Oh, so you're that guy.

Seriously, nothing worse when you text someone a question or similar then get a response a few days later. Its like, "Thanks dickhead, I dont need to know/care anymore"

 

[HardkorSB]

It's the same with calling/texting someone. You don't do it right away (not often, anyway), you wait some time (usually at least until the next day) and then do it.

Oh, so you're that guy.

Seriously, nothing worse when you text someone a question or similar then get a response a few days later. Its like, "Thanks dickhead, I dont need to know/care anymore"

Not really.
This "knowledge" comes from experience. I met girls who liked me but took it slow because they didn't want me to think that they're slutty/desperate/whatever (and I only found that out because I brought it up later on).
It happened to me the other way around as well. A girl liked me but she thought I was desperate because, for example, when she texted me, I responded right away and that made her think that I would be to clingy if I were to start going out with her.

 

[DevilWithaHalo]

It's almost as bad as online package tracking; refresh, refresh, refresh. Anyone ever used one of these sites and gotten paranoid over why someone isn't replying even though you can see they're online?

Not really. I'm not terribly concerned as to the reasons that someone might not be interested in me. Best to simply move on.

Oh and if you happen to be on the escapist too, reply you cad!

You mean you're actively contacting men? Well that's rare. You shouldn't have trouble for long then. Not that many women do... unless they have some rather mean spirited comments in their profile.

Not really.
This "knowledge" comes from experience. I met girls who liked me but took it slow because they didn't want me to think that they're slutty/desperate/whatever (and I only found that out because I brought it up later on).
It happened to me the other way around as well. A girl liked me but she thought I was desperate because, for example, when she texted me, I responded right away and that made her think that I would be to clingy if I were to start going out with her.

Such childish games. Better they play their immature dating games with people of their own kind. Then they can collectively ***** about how they are so done with the "games". I'd laugh more if it wasn't so pathetic.

 

[SwimmingRock]

I wonder if he is part of the weird misogynist on line group, I forget what they are called.

Virgins?

As a virgin, I take offense to that. Please don't lump me in with them.

Captcha (mainly to avoid low content):vanilla ice cream. I like chocolate instead. I hope she likes her soul food with a little wonder bread .
I haven't listened to Stephen Lynch in a while. Should search my stacks of cd's and see if I can find them again.

 

[ReadyAmyFire]

"dorko will love you long time"

I laughed heartily.

I should point out I'm not waiting on a response to first contact, I'd be fine with that. But we've been talking for over a week and getting on rather well, then suddenly no reply.

Glad to see a smattering of agreement regarding the immaturity of the 'waiting' game. Why someone would think a timely response betrays desperation, when they have already had to resort to the internet to meet people, is beyond me.

 

[JB1528]

In my experience I just had 3 rules: Be witty, Be confident, and copy/pasta witty message to as many girls as possible. If you message enough people somebody will have to reply and out of those people replying you'll probably get along with at least ONE of them. Believe it or not that worked beautifully.

 

[Shifty]

About two years ago I got on to online dating for some fun. Every evening I would fire off a load of e-mails - forget copy and paste, mention something specific in their photo, works better. Of a night I would get one maybe two replies out of a lot of sent mails. It was just a case of numbers. I never felt bad if someone didnt reply as there was always more out there. I had some great fun and met some great people some of whom I am even still talking to.
I only did it for fun, I was not looking for a serious relationship. I stopped after a while because it did take up a lot of time but I will say not to feel bad about no one replying straight away. My advice

Have fun
Be confident
Be honest in your description of yourself
Play the numbers
Use free websites, no need to pay.
Use multiple websites
and dont take it all so seriously.

Its like facebook but for adults who you have never met so there is no worries if some do not reply, there is always someone else.

 

[Realitycrash]

It's almost as bad as online package tracking; refresh, refresh, refresh. Anyone ever used one of these sites and gotten paranoid over why someone isn't replying even though you can see they're online?

Oh and if you happen to be on the escapist too, reply you cad!

[heebie jeebies] I'm making captcha nervous with my crazy spinster talk.

Yes, and it pisses me off. Especially since the site I use lets you know if said person has read the message or not. If they have read it, and isn't replying, I'm rather angry. If it just sits there without being read, I can rationalize it away ("she's probably not at the computer right now"), and survive until said person actually replies.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

It's almost as bad as online package tracking; refresh, refresh, refresh. Anyone ever used one of these sites and gotten paranoid over why someone isn't replying even though you can see they're online?

Oh and if you happen to be on the escapist too, reply you cad!

[heebie jeebies] I'm making captcha nervous with my crazy spinster talk.

But you're a g-g-g-girl! I thought women could have any man they wanted (sarcasm). Yes, I okcupid like a boss. Keep in mind when you see someone "online" they aren't technically online, they may just have the okcupid/dating site app on their smart phone (and a lot of people don't know how to turn apps off on their smart phones). I'd also advise against ever using the chat function on a dating site and you should probably just turn it off. It never works quite right and is always SLOW. I've ruined many potential relationships with facebook/okcupid chat functionality.

But yes, I'd start ignoring that stuff and quick. Not because desperation is unattractive (which I am told), but it just makes you nuts. When I first started I was like that, but eventually message after message and relationship after relationship failed and I eventually quit caring. Something that could fall apart from one missed message is so tenuous that it's hardly worth the brain cells. Making more than one online friend helps, rather than get your hopes pinned on one individual.

It's better to look at every dating profile as a potential pen pal and nothing more. Would you be emotionally devastated if someone you've never met quit e-mailing you about video games/comics/movies/TV? I'd also give your profile a once or twice over. I had a couple fellow board members on here help me with that stuff and I've had a lot more interest in the past few months. (I got a date Friday! XD)

 

[shrekfan246]

snip

I really like your user name.

*remembers title of thread*

Errr...I'm not hitting on you I just really like your user name.

Snip

I, on the other hand, am hitting on you. ;D

[sub]I kid.[/sub]

Never used an online dating site but I know the feeling in regards to texting/messaging/etc. MY OPINION MUST MATTER ENOUGH TO WARRANT RESPONSE!

Must... ignore... opinion...

But that's a bit like how I feel on the matter, too. But I get paranoid that I said something stupid whenever I get the little notification that I've been quoted or replied to or something.

Even though I never say stupid things.

[sub]Again, I kid.[/sub]

 

[Fappy]

-Snip-

When I got back from lunch today I had 8 notifications.

I was like, "Oh God... what did I say this time?"

 

[shrekfan246]

-Snip-

When I got back from lunch today I had 8 notifications.

I was like, "Oh God... what did I say this time?"

Well damn, aren't you popular. The most I've had at one time is three, I think.

But at the same time as me being paranoid, I'll also sometimes be the guy who doesn't respond to a text or something just because I feel weird and can't think of anything to say in response. So I probably help spread the general feeling of "Oh shit, what did I say wrong?" every now and then myself.

 

[Cowabungaa]

Anyone ever used one of these sites and gotten paranoid over why someone isn't replying even though you can see they're online?

I haven't yet but I do sort of fear that that might happen.

Someone recommended that I started looking for an online dating site a few days ago. But I'm not so sure. I wonder, for instance, if 'my kind of people' would use a dating site in the first place. I mean, I'm 21 years old. Folks my age don't usually need dating sites and I keep thinking that it's mostly older people who use those things. That and I wonder whether geeky-ish people use them.

Last but not least, I have no idea whether those sites are any good for more serious relationships. Yes it'd be great too if I'd get a friend out of it but in the end I go there to look for someone I can share my life with.

 

[Mutie]

It's almost as bad as online package tracking; refresh, refresh, refresh. Anyone ever used one of these sites and gotten paranoid over why someone isn't replying even though you can see they're online?

Oh and if you happen to be on the escapist too, reply you cad!

[heebie jeebies] I'm making captcha nervous with my crazy spinster talk.

I know exactly what you mean... I've just started checking out that type of site for the first time and it's a paranoia nightmare! Worst is when you're having a decent conversation with someone, only for them to suddenly stop replying for no given reason :s

 

[TheBanMan_v1legacy]

"dorko will love you long time"

I laughed heartily.

I should point out I'm not waiting on a response to first contact, I'd be fine with that. But we've been talking for over a week and getting on rather well, then suddenly no reply.

Glad to see a smattering of agreement regarding the immaturity of the 'waiting' game. Why someone would think a timely response betrays desperation, when they have already had to resort to the internet to meet people, is beyond me.

Ah, this could be something else then... The nature of online dating means that people are often chatting with multiple people. It's rather sad, but I found a lot of people wouldn't bother letting you know that they were no longer interested, or were focusing on someone else, etc.

Maybe Dorko struck again and wooed him with her feminine wiles.

 

[Weaver]

-Snip-

When I got back from lunch today I had 8 notifications.

I was like, "Oh God... what did I say this time?"

Lol, I always hate that feeling. The worst is when I'm tired and post something kind of careless and opinionated, then wake up in the morning and see a bunch of notifications.