Ordinary Household Items that double as Epic Weapons!!

[Dr.Sean]

Chair. Throw that at someone and you will become the baddest of asses.

 

[Zaksav91]

Cheese Grater for sure.

Oh and a .357. Thats a household item right?

 

[Summerstorm]

Electric waffle iron, toaster or sandwich maker. Just swing it on the powercord for maximum bashage.

 

[Daedalus1942]

So today, i made one of my usual trips to the kitchen to make a pizza. As i made the preparations for the food, i took out a cookie sheet from one of my various cabinets. As i did so, a crazy thought come to me: This would make be a good melee weapon wouldn't it? Cuz when you think about it:

-It's lightweight (making it easy to use)
-And it's metal (so it could do some type of damage.)

So, i come before you today, my fellow Escapists, with a simple yet intuitive question:

What regular, seemingly impractical household implement would double as a weapon of mass destruction?

The metal serated edge on the glad wrap FTW! Epic concealed throatcutting device!

 

[Toaster Hunter]

Anything can be a weapon if thrown hard enough. Oh, and the five swords I have would be useful too. Not to mention my revolver (Its a Civil War replica that can't fire, but weighs three pounds and could do some damage if I were to swing it).

 

[Verbal Samurai]

I wouldn't want to be hit with a toilet brush.

 

[Taco of flames]

Guitar hero peripherals, a radio, a bunch of fake swords from my pre-preteen years, a laundry basket, an overweight cat, another cat(not overweight), about 100 books, a bunch of cords, and an office chair.

 

[senorcromas]

I have some souvenir bats that you can get at any hideously overpriced baseball stadium. They're lightweight and easily portable.

I also have several very large books right next to my bed...

Oh, and the bar from my weights...

 

[DavidTheWise]

One of my airbrush paint guns, I'd attach a toy car and use some kind of elastic and a scorpion poison gland for a crossbow-esque weapon, or the railway rifle, nail your enemies to walls, by their forehead!

Geez, fallout 3 had the best video game weapons ever, am I right?

 

[Gardenclaw]

A gardenclaw!!! This same conversation cropped up in the pub a while back andis where my name comes from. It's my weapon of choice.

 

[Bruden]

This is the first time I've lived in a house with less than 5 guns in it, and it's simply because my roommate dislikes them. I myself, and my family consider guns to be a household item, so I totally agree with the people who offer it as an option. Putting that aside however, I'd go with the rod from the shower curtain, mine's 3ft, extends to 5ft, and is made of metal.

I honestly feel sorry for you.

yeah, sucks not being able to have my SKS anymore

 

[Huupertti]

microwave, blender and scissors

 

[The DSM]

A motorbike and 2 chain saws, thats for when you arnt f*cking around anymore.

Or 2 chainsaws and a stick, I know its from Dead rising 2 but its ultimate bad assery.

 

[GrinningManiac]

They're just sitting above me, on the top part of my desk.

I got 'em in Jackson Hole when I was in the US.

Went to the Pie Shop...damn that was the best apple Pie I ever did have...Ah sa-Ah say!

Seriously, though, these things are brutal. You think "But it's not that sharp!" then you realise, it can stab a hole in you, not slice you.

Also, it's pretty kickass and novel

 

[rokkolpo]

Lawn Mower against the undead!


I know it's obvious, but hey.

it was house of the dead overkill all over again.

this was so horribly and so cliche.AWESOME

 

[tjarne]

BAAM fork in the eye!!!

I also heard that a tooth decays in a day when left in coke, so you could simply get your attacker, skin him to the bone and then put him into a bath of coke, then he will die after about a day

As done in "Mysteriet på Greveholm" A sweedish children tv show, works perfectly.

 

[Rock 'n' Soul]

Corn holders. Is that what they're called? Pokers? Stick maybe three of those between your knuckles.

 

[Yumi_and_Erea]

Chairs, lavalamps and figurines (they're either nice and heavy or they shatter and become nice and sharp).

 

[Deleted]

Put lighters in a blender with oil and some phosphorus (or whatever on the tip of a match) and blend with the top off. If my scientifical analysis is correct a spinning tornado of fire should shoot out.

Someone please experiment.

break one side of these hair hearing things (the clamps with metal that heats up.) and warm it up first, then you have a burning bludgeoning stick.