Ordinary Household Items that double as Epic Weapons!!

[Sporky111]

Fireplace implements: hooked poker; short, solid shovel; claw. . . thing that nobody ever uses; and a broom to clean up the mess later.

Otherwise I could use a fire extinguisher, vinegar (it BURNS!), vase, front load washing machine/dryer (they're a deathtrap), space heater, solid glass picture holder (right next to my bed, 1^1/4 inch thick), any charger cord (rope weapon and strangling/restraining device).

Yeah, I've put way too much thought into these things.

 

[Studd_Jozz]

Well, I've got a nice Claymore, sadly not the new 'splody kind, but still, it's a big goddamn chunk of metal, and has a ball pommel, so that's a good hitting end, baseball bat style. Or, y'know, one of my two handguns, both metal. Palm that fucker and smash some heads.

And, according to

On another note. Deodorant could make a good make shift Dildo in a pinch

I could use the ball-pommeled part of the Claymore as a dildo, but I don't know that martial art, so I'd probably end up eviscerating the guy instead of whatever the fuck I'm supposed to do with a giant Scottish sword.

 

[Lord_Durin]

Well, I personally have a small collection of LotR replicas so... yeah, those would work.

Also: lamps, brooms/mops, and those fire poker things by the fireplace.

 

[robman1130]

all my guns. second amendment ftw! lulz

 

[michael_ab]

well I have some hydrocholiric acid in my garage so I could use that to melt faces.

nah nah that just burns alot, do lye its faster

if you want some intence acid action go for hydrofluric acid (HF) it eats calsium

 

[RadioActiveChimp]

broom stick = bo staff

 

[topsyturvy]

Plastic wrap, oil and a lighter for later use. Put the plastic wrap in the doorway and add oil. When your victim comes by, they get stuck in it and you can light them up.

 

[michael_ab]

I'd probably end up eviscerating the guy instead of whatever the fuck I'm supposed to do with a giant Scottish sword.

on a side note, the claymore wasnt used as much for cutting, all of its killing power was in the fact that its a very heavy blade, put enough weight behind it and even a butterknife would cut clean through someone

 

[anthony87]

A snooker cue....I know it proabably doesn't count as a household item but there's been one sitting in my room for about 20 years now and dammit I'll use it it the situation calls for it.

 

[McNinja]

There are too many to mention... knives, forks, pencils, pens, Drumsticks, cymbals, wires, cables, lamps, candlesticks, wrenches, plates, etc. Not to mention my plethora of weapons I have all over the house. I have three knives and a machete in my room, a butterfly knife in a drawer near my kitchen, and about a dozen swords + more knives, and a giant throwing star in a bookshelf in my basement. I have the safest house in the neighborhood.

 

[coldshadow]

lamp.

 

[Insanum]

My handy dandy Nuclear Bomb. Im using it as a coffee table.

In all seriousness, I take the top off one of my guitar racks = metal bar with a grip, Woot!

 

[katsa5]

I have always been a believer in the statement, "Anything can be a weapon if you hold it right."
^_^ I have a cast iron skillet if I feel like playing Princess Peach, but that's not original. Chopsticks can be useful in a pinch. I actually have an old car part, the turn signal switch from my old Honda, which I keep as a defense weapon behind the door (just in case). That thing is deceivingly heavy, makes a great club.

 

[Yokai]

Fireplace poker. You can't go wrong with that. Also there's a gigantic crowbar in my garage if you want to go Super Freeman on some asses, but if we're going in that direction I also have a maul for splitting wood and such that is basically a ten-pound warhammer. So I'd probably be alright if, say zombies showed up.

 

[Burst6]

rolled up aluminum foil on a tube. That thing is hard, lightweight, and it stings.

 

[Julianking93]

I can turn anything into an instrument of death.

 

[koeniginator]

I don't know if it's been mentioned yet, but I'd say an iron. Heavy enough to be a good blugeoning tool, and god help 'em if it's turned on

THIS.

 

[Tuddle]

"I will Take THEM DOWN WITH MY BARE HANDS!"
-Takeo from COD5 Nazi Zombies

 

[CouchCommando]

Flour, blind you're enemies!!!