Other People's Sex Lives

[someonehairy-ish]

Whatever consenting people get up to in private is cool with me, as long as it doesn't involve live animals or anything quite that fucked up.
BDSM, anal, costumes, straight, gay, pan, furry... whatever, go for it if you can find someone willing to do it, although I'd rather not know the grisly details. College has pretty much desensitized me to these kind of things.
Plenty of 'sluts' are straight up lovely people. And dudes who will freely admit to being virgins are always nicer guys to hang round with than the kind of arseholes who go round boasting about their many 'conquests'.

 

[lacktheknack]

Beat each other's genitals with frying pans in the kitchen for all I give a damn

People do that? D=>

There's an entire fetish popularized in Japan involving genital pain.

The video my sick and twisted friend sent me had one of the more "desirable" girls who's into it utterly destroying two walnuts with one hand.

First time I've ever clenched up without seeing someone actually get hurt. ;_;

 

[someonehairy-ish]

People who sleep around are sluts, that's what the term means.

There's no need to use the word with the negative connotations. 'Promiscuous' works just as well.
This is a bit like saying:
People who are gay are faggots, that's what the term means.

Or even:
Black people are niggers, that's what the term means.

Maybe it is technically 'true', that doesn't mean there isn't an inoffensive synonym you could easily use instead.

 

[templar1138a]

In the past couple of days I've seen sex-related threads that were really asking out of curiosity more than anything else. It was only in the responses that the virgin bashing/women are sluts/men are assholes stuff came up.

I'm only interested in other people discussing their sex life with me if I/they want advice (usually about mindset, not technique) or if they have a fetish that I didn't even realize existed, so I'm curious about how their mind works with that. For example, did you know there are people who get aroused by the simple concept of disease? Yeah, try wrapping your head around that one. I still haven't fully.

 

[Phasmal]

My attitude towards other people having sex is a mix of `I don't care` and `I don't want to know`.

I don't care who you have sex with and how often (as long as it's nothing illegal and all that obvious stuff). But I also don't want to know your fetishes, or how you do it and how it feels and in what positions.

For some reason, people tell me this stuff. I don't know why. I've had friends of mine suddenly declare this kind of thing.

 

[Naeras]

I don't judge who people have sex with, how often they have sex or where they have sex, to be honest. It's none of my business. If anyone judges a single person for having a one night stand or twelve, the person judging is a dick. End of story.
If you ever see me judgmental towards someone in regards of sexuality, it'll be if someone is cheating, but that's not because of the sex, that's because they're hurting someone, plus risking giving their partner STDs if their side-partner has that.

Oh, and if someone's not using condoms on one night stands I get kind of aggravated. Seriously, it's just fucking stupid.

 

[Belaam]

Gentle reader, let me say this: If you are getting it on with zero or more consenting adults in a reasonably private location and everyone involved is fully aware of whatever risks might be associated with what you are doing, I am fine with it.

Please note that "consenting adults" means A) Human. B) Over the legal age of consent and preferably a social/emotional peer (i.e. no teachers/preachers/etc. taking advantage of the inherent imbalance in the relationship with their students/congregations/etc.) . C) Not having ones judgement impaired by one or more chemicals nor membership in a cult.

 

[F'Angus]

I have no care of other people's sex lives... I have no need to know, and frankly I don't want to know

 

[Robert Ewing]

Almost all of male interaction is geared toward sex, learning, or companionship. And Companionship is rarely utilized toward a human female.

 

[Something Amyss]

But if Person A states occasionally what he/she dislikes in a relationship, then Person B knows to avoid.

Which would be nice if that's how it worked most of the time.

Usually, it's judgmental and involves name calling. Not to mention, most people seem to rag on their exes in harsh and often undeserved fashion. It's not an effective cautionary tale if you're just saying "I hate that fucking *****. What a slut" because she didn't like the same things you did.

And as far as virgin shaming goes, there's absolutely no relevance. People call a man a virgin to indicate that he can't cut it, doesn't have the virility, and might even be gay because what "real man" doesn't want to screw everything that moves. Calling a woman a virgin may imply purity, but also includes undertones that she's naive and even possibly defective.

 

[Jonluw]

My best guess is it's some sort of evolutionary reflex.
We're pack animals, and to make sure everything works optimally in the tribe, people need to conform to the same standards.
I guess this is especially true for procreation since it's one of our big biological drives.

Or I might be talking out of my ass.
Whatever.

 

[Tipsy Giant]

Meh, it's really not interesting to me.
People have sex and we all like it slightly differently Woop de Woop...

captcha = Lie Low, my personal favourite position

 

[KingsGambit_v1legacy]

Um, did you skip sex education in school?

Why? Do you know something I don't? If I wasn't correct then you might have a point. But I am. If someone is promiscuous the chances of STDs and pregnancy is significantly and directly proprtionally increased. This is 100% true because someone who doesn't have any sex cannot get an STD, or pregnant (unless it's an immaculate conception or she was watching pr0n in 3D [http://www.popjolly.com/woman-says-she-became-pregnant-after-watching-porn-in-3d-365]). And please don't be pedantic and bringing up sharing of needles, blood transfusions and the like, it's irrelevant.

Value judgement there.

Errr....what? Can you honestly say you would have no hangups with dating or marrying a partner who has slept with 50-60 partners or more? Or even half that? Or is sex completely meaningless to you?

 

[Phasmal]

Um, did you skip sex education in school?

Why? Do you know something I don't? If I wasn't correct then you might have a point. But I am. If someone is promiscuous the chances of STDs and pregnancy is significantly and directly proprtionally increased. This is 100% true because someone who doesn't have any sex cannot get an STD, or pregnant (unless it's an immaculate conception or she was watching pr0n in 3D [http://www.popjolly.com/woman-says-she-became-pregnant-after-watching-porn-in-3d-365]). And please don't be pedantic and bringing up sharing of needles, blood transfusions and the like, it's irrelevant.

Value judgement there.

Errr....what? Can you honestly say you would have no hangups with dating or marrying a partner who has slept with 50-60 partners or more? Or even half that? Or is sex completely meaningless to you?

You do realise you just posted something which was from the Brazilian version of `The Onion`... right? Right? [http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/3dfilm.asp]

Just sayin'

 

[TheDrunkNinja]

I'm in a "friends with benefits" relationship with one of my very good friends right now. Essentially, it just comes down to sex with the lack of attachment that comes with being in a romantic relationship. The only hard part is making sure that sex doesn't become the only defining part of our friendship, but we both have made sure to hang out the same way we did before the sex and have both clearly expressed our desire is only sexual and nothing further. Seriously, all we both want that goes just above the line of "friendship" is sex. That's all. Is there seriously someone who would consider us to be total assholes for this?

I will admit, neither of us are willing to tell the rest of our group of friends, and it can be really hard sometimes to keep to our set boundaries since she's an incredibly sexy woman. It's ultimately for the best, I think, since the whole point is that having sex shouldn't be a big deal in the first place. Heh, we even have a set codephrase for our sexy time as "Want to come over and watch some Deep Space 9?" Just seemed fitting since we were watching it together when we did it for the first time.

 

[Biosophilogical]

Beat each other's genitals with frying pans in the kitchen for all I give a damn

People do that? D=>

You don't???

OT: I don't know. I don't really care as long as it is consentual. Go get 'em, tiger!

 

[zelda2fanboy]

To me it doesn't matter. I live by one rule: don't do onto others what you don't want done to yourself.

So I'll never try to get a girl into bed and the morning after say: well this was fun. I'll call you. And then never call her. No sir, I always tell them before we have sex that this is probably going to be a one night thing. And ask them if they are okay with that. Usually they are. Sometimes they aren't. But they are always happy about the honesty.

One thing that did seem FUBAR to me was this: a 23 year old couple who we're together already for 5 years. They have been having 'sex' that entire time. And it's always the same: Missionary, in the dark and she doesn't take her bra off. WTF? And the girl is friggin' hot too. It's not like: damn I love you but I don't want to look straight at you. No! She's HOT!

I don't get it. I'm sorry I cannot wrap my head around it.

Captcha: word for word

What, how, I don't even... So you manage to get women to sleep with you somehow, tell them you don't really want to continue the relationship beyond that, and they do it anyways? This is more abstract to me than if you said you were into the frying pan thing someone was talking about on here. I desperately want a girlfriend (I know it ain't attractive, but this is semi anonymous), I desperately miss my old girlfriend, and I sure as hell never want to have sex again without the possibility of an ongoing relationship of some kind. This little seed of jealousy / resentment that I'm feeling right now is exactly what I was talking about in the OP.

Seriously, where/how do you make this happen? I can't even imagine being in a mental state healthy enough to be able to do that.

 

[game-lover]

I sorta care. I can admit that. But it's less judgy and more fascination. I'd use the term morbid but that's a negative way to look at sex.

But yeah, I'm fascinated. There's something about other people's sex lives that gets your attention. More so when you know that you could never do what they do and sometimes wonder why they do what they do. How they can do what they do.

Friends with benefits, one night stands, sex in a movie theater or janitor's closet. A three way, an orgy. It just boggles the mind and makes me nosy. I wanna know everything. It's like you're a soap opera and I'm trying to catch up on the stories.

Because I'm a relative prude and I consider sex something relatively major. I get that people see sex and nothing special but I just don't understand how and why they do. So it's like a documentary. Of other people's lives.

 

[TheDrunkNinja]

What, how, I don't even... So you manage to get women to sleep with you somehow, tell them you don't really want to continue the relationship beyond that, and they do it anyways? This is more abstract to me than if you said you were into the frying pan thing someone was talking about on here. I desperately want a girlfriend (I know it ain't attractive, but this is semi anonymous), I desperately miss my old girlfriend, and I sure as hell never want to have sex again without the possibility of an ongoing relationship of some kind. This little seed of jealousy / resentment that I'm feeling right now is exactly what I was talking about in the OP.

Seriously, where/how do you make this happen? I can't even imagine being in a mental state healthy enough to be able to do that.

Hey, I think I might be able to help you out in understanding this kind of "no relationship sex" situation a little better. Here's essentially what happened with me:

I never "made it happen". It just happened. With me and my friend, we're both close enough that we've had rather deep discussions about our lives, our problems, where we're going, what we've done, etc. The ultimate point is the fact that we have been more honest with each other than I have been with anyone else, so when the more sexual topics eventually came up, we both answered honestly. We both weren't in the best position to be a relationship with anyone, but at the same time, we were extremely comfortable around one another, like we didn't mind doing things that most would consider a "couple" thing like hugs or putting my arm around her or her head on my shoulder. Personally, I don't consider myself in her league by a longshot, but she promises that I'm attractive to her.

At one point last week, when we were watching Star Trek together, she kept saying how she was worried that she was "leading me on" with no result of a relationship. I said to her that she wasn't leading me on since we both agreed neither of us were looking for a relationship right now. I then added jokingly, "Besides, it's not like we're having sex. You're not leading me on if we're not even having sex to begin with." She laughed in agreement. We kind of paused for a moment and continued watching the episode, letting it just hang in the air.

At that point, I just said what we were both thinking and asked "Do you want to have sex?"

She answered, "... Yeah, sex sounds good right now." So she took her shirt off, and the rest is history.

That's pretty much it. We're both really honest and comfortable with each other already, and without a boyfriend or girlfriend, she and I aren't having sex with anyone else. So we have sex with each other. It just happens, dude. Can't really force this kind of thing, I guess is what I'm saying. Finding the right person ain't a bad thing either. I admit that I was lucky... Okay, I was and am extremely lucky. There are lots of people out there who can't or don't want to deal with the "relationship" part of sex. It's just sex. People like sex. They just need to be clear and honest with their partner about what they want and don't want before the deed is done. And sometimes you just gotta take a risk.