Outrageous lies that your friends/family believed...

[Jark212]

Crazy Lies for Work/School:

I think I have a 24 hour flu or something

My septic tank exploded this morning, but I'll be in tomorrow

My daughters water just broke and she has no other way to get to the hospital if I dont take her

My date left me stranded, I don't think I can make it in today

I cant find my car keys, I've looked everywhere

I'm locked in my house

There was a huge fire a few houses down from me

My cat is missing

I ran out of gas on my way in

I think I had contact with anthrax

I dont have any hot water

I saw on the news this morning that the office had a bomb scare

I was on my way in, but I got car jacked so i have no way to get there

I was stopped by corrupt cops and they planted marijuana in my car

I was kidnapped and I have no Idea where I am

I think I contracted the Ebola virus from something I ate last night

Someone stole my car with my son in it, but I'll be in tomorrow

There was an allien sighting here last night and I'm scared to leave the house

These are all REAL...

 

[Tattaglia]

who hasn't lied about god? what about all the priests who claim that Jesus was real and that the bible ISN'T a fat book of lies?

Quiet, you.
I once convinced my mum that I was in my bed by putting a large teddy bear and a walkie talkie in my blankets, and snoring into the walkie talkie from the patio. I didn't really achieve anything by doing so, but it felt really super-awesome when I was seven.

 

[Usige Beatha]

That I believe in God.
My mom would be pissed and probably not talk to me for a bit. While my dad wouldn't care.

who hasn't lied about god? what about all the priests who claim that Jesus was real and that the bible ISN'T a fat book of lies?

I'LL BREAK YOUR NECK! lol j/k, but don't insult my God or I'LL BREAK YOUR NECK! lol


Ok as for my lie... ok so I was drunk and carrying a 12 Gage shotgun.

Long story short, I short a can of red pain in the back ally behind a Piggly-Wiggly with a Comrade of mine. While we walked out of the ally-way, a Cop car happened to pull up and see me holding a shot gun. So the Cop asks a completely reasonable question, "Boy, what are you doin' with that gun?"
Now, in my drunken stupor, I decided that the reasonable answer would be "Ossifer, I just shot someone!"
The Cop just looked at me an slowly reached for his gun...
I panicked, threw down the gun, got on my knees, and just started bawling.

It was an interesting night... :[

 

[Syntax Error]

Don't walk on thin ice. Be careful of mentioning the words "God" and religion in this thread again, lest it goes down in a blaze of glory. As someone here already said, religion topics in here has more flames than the sun!

 

[Jark212]

Rember, Excuses=Lies

Notes writen by parents for there children, for school... Enjoy:

* My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.
Please execute him.
* Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her
shot.
* Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,
30, 31,32, and also 33.
* Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
* Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he
fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
* John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his
face.
* Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He
was hurt in the growing part.
* Megan could not come to school today because she has been
bothered by very close veins.
* Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
* Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea
and his boots leak.
* Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
* Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
* Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot
to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it
Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
* Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend
her funeral.
* My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She
spent a weekend with the Marines.
* Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold
and could not breed well.
* Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed
with gramps.
* Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
* Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
* Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever,
sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also
sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever
and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and
fever. There must be something going around, her father even
got hot last night.

 

[reaper_2k9]

Lying to my family about being gay I'd have my male friends pretend we were going out when we actually were going to hang out and check out girls......didn't turn out so well almost got disowned but luckily everything is cool now

 

[Asparagus Brown]

One of my friends convinced a girl he met at a party that pineapples are illegal in Russia.

 

[Hunde Des Krieg]

Crazy Lies for Work/School:

I think I have a 24 hour flu or something

My septic tank exploded this morning, but I'll be in tomorrow

My daughters water just broke and she has no other way to get to the hospital if I dont take her

My date left me stranded, I don't think I can make it in today

I cant find my car keys, I've looked everywhere

I'm locked in my house

There was a huge fire a few houses down from me

My cat is missing

I ran out of gas on my way in

I think I had contact with anthrax

I dont have any hot water

I saw on the news this morning that the office had a bomb scare

I was on my way in, but I got car jacked so i have no way to get there

I was stopped by corrupt cops and they planted marijuana in my car

I was kidnapped and I have no Idea where I am

I think I contracted the Ebola virus from something I ate last night

Someone stole my car with my son in it, but I'll be in tomorrow

There was an allien sighting here last night and I'm scared to leave the house

These are all REAL...

out of all of those the running out of gas one sounds the most plausible
and maybe the one about the pregnant daughter but i'm only 18 and don't have any kids, let alone a kid that might be pregnant

 

[Rankao]

One of my friends convinced a girl he met at a party that pineapples are illegal in Russia.

That's how I start off the conversations before i get laid too!

 

[Scary_Bob]

Nobody knows I dropped out of uni last year. Still living there with 5 housemates and noone's cottoned on yet.

Gotta love them anonymous interwebs.

 

[ace_of_something]

Lying to my family about being gay I'd have my male friends pretend we were going out when we actually were going to hang out and check out girls......didn't turn out so well almost got disowned but luckily everything is cool now

what kind of family do you have where being gay was easier for your parents to accept than you checking out girls?

I mean no offense I just can't wrap my head around it

 

[reaper_2k9]

Lying to my family about being gay I'd have my male friends pretend we were going out when we actually were going to hang out and check out girls......didn't turn out so well almost got disowned but luckily everything is cool now

what kind of family do you have where being gay was easier for your parents to accept than you checking out girls?

I mean no offense I just can't wrap my head around it

Seeing as I am a girl and I like girls and all that checking them out comes with the territory.

 

[ace_of_something]

The only one i can think of is that i told this chick i was dating that i loved her and I hadn't for like 2 months.

I did this because I knew the second I'd leave she'd try to off herself. Which when we finally did break up she did try to do... twice.

 

[ace_of_something]

Lying to my family about being gay I'd have my male friends pretend we were going out when we actually were going to hang out and check out girls......didn't turn out so well almost got disowned but luckily everything is cool now

what kind of family do you have where being gay was easier for your parents to accept than you checking out girls?

I mean no offense I just can't wrap my head around it

Seeing as I am a girl and I like girls and all that checking them out comes with the territory.

mental note: check user profiles more often

 

[reaper_2k9]

its ok...lol but I hope you understand the lie now

 

[opium of the people]

about 3 months ago, my friends were talking about lesbians, so i told one of them that when lesbians marry they give up their right to vote, they believe me to this very day

 

[Murrah]

I told my mum that I was a prostitute and she believed me while the truth was that I only go out everynight to go on escapist at my friend's house! *cries* It's the truth

 

[Elurindel]

I once convinced my mouther that Labour Day was started by a mexican called Manuel Labour

 

[Sewblon]

I convinced all my friends that I am a time traveler and that I am half hippopotomus, they believed me until we all hit puberty and independently decided to be perpetual cynics.