It is Pancake Day here in Blighty, and as Britian's foremost food expert (you can't prove I'm not, don't try googling me, I'm an underground food critic, I'm like a ninja, a food ninja), I am here to tell you about our glorious pan based cakes.
First, we must define what a pancake is. There are two major contenders for the name of pancake, one of these is a colonial abomination, while the other is so amazingly delicious, we have set a day aside for its consumption.
Pictured: not pancakes. Replacement door stops
Pictured: true pancakes
"But Daystar, you replacement deity, who are you to tell us what is or isn't a 'true' pancake?"
That's a good question, and I'll be sure to commend you for it whilst your mother enjoys my company.
The Flip[sup]TM[/sup]
If you have to ask what The Flip[sup]TM[/sup] is, then you're in more trouble than I thought.
Quickly, open your brain, so that I might pour my mighty knowledge into it's most wrinkled places.
The Flip[sup]TM[/sup] is the process of imbuing a pancake with deliciousness. Without The Flip[sup]TM[/sup], the pancake can not be called such, it is instead an abomination, whose mere existence is an insult to all everything we stand for.
The more difficult The Flip[sup]TM[/sup], the more tastiness is imbued.
This is why the silly colonial 'pancakes' are inferior. Anyone can flip a coaster, there is little skill involved, this is why the colonials eat pancakes for breakfast almost everyday. No training is required to do The Flip[sup]TM[/sup].
When a person comes to age in the UK, two days out of the year, they endure rigorous SAS training, so that The Flip[sup]TM[/sup] can be performed with the utmost precision and efficiency. The more rotations, the better.
Here is what not to do.
Sure, it's hilarious to begin with, but what you didn't see in that video, was the summoning of great evil, The Flip[sup]TM[/sup] failed so badly, that a Dark Lord was summoned from the depths of food hell itself, and consumed the heretics for not abiding their training.
True Story
Here is one of our younglings, using his training, albeit, rather recklessly.
I can guarantee that pancake was pretty damn tasty. Notice how they weren't consumed by a great evil?
And now you know.
British pancakes: the One True Pancake
Colonial pancakes: makeshift door stops/coasters/frisbee
Keep calm and carry on.
First, we must define what a pancake is. There are two major contenders for the name of pancake, one of these is a colonial abomination, while the other is so amazingly delicious, we have set a day aside for its consumption.
Pictured: not pancakes. Replacement door stops
Pictured: true pancakes
"But Daystar, you replacement deity, who are you to tell us what is or isn't a 'true' pancake?"
That's a good question, and I'll be sure to commend you for it whilst your mother enjoys my company.
The Flip[sup]TM[/sup]
If you have to ask what The Flip[sup]TM[/sup] is, then you're in more trouble than I thought.
Quickly, open your brain, so that I might pour my mighty knowledge into it's most wrinkled places.
The Flip[sup]TM[/sup] is the process of imbuing a pancake with deliciousness. Without The Flip[sup]TM[/sup], the pancake can not be called such, it is instead an abomination, whose mere existence is an insult to all everything we stand for.
The more difficult The Flip[sup]TM[/sup], the more tastiness is imbued.
This is why the silly colonial 'pancakes' are inferior. Anyone can flip a coaster, there is little skill involved, this is why the colonials eat pancakes for breakfast almost everyday. No training is required to do The Flip[sup]TM[/sup].
When a person comes to age in the UK, two days out of the year, they endure rigorous SAS training, so that The Flip[sup]TM[/sup] can be performed with the utmost precision and efficiency. The more rotations, the better.
Here is what not to do.
Sure, it's hilarious to begin with, but what you didn't see in that video, was the summoning of great evil, The Flip[sup]TM[/sup] failed so badly, that a Dark Lord was summoned from the depths of food hell itself, and consumed the heretics for not abiding their training.
True Story
Here is one of our younglings, using his training, albeit, rather recklessly.
I can guarantee that pancake was pretty damn tasty. Notice how they weren't consumed by a great evil?
And now you know.
British pancakes: the One True Pancake
Colonial pancakes: makeshift door stops/coasters/frisbee
Keep calm and carry on.
