Poll: A question for the guys . Sex on the first date, Yay or nay?

[DefunctTheory]

Depends on a lot of things... but for the most part 'no'...

It's difficult for a guy to pull off having the girl try to have sex with him but gently refusing such that the refusal cannot be denied... but it makes it one hell of a first time when it does happen... apparently.

The only true 'first date' in four relationships was spent in complete and utter silence... lasted six years, so maybe that's not a good indicator for 'normal' folks.

EDIT - and contrary to Accursed's rule one, the above involved a great deal of 'sticking it in the crazy'... >_>

Don't get me wrong, its a rule that's broken almost constantly (By me, too, in the past).

But after several... situations, I learned my lesson. I just wish I could share this rule with everyone so they wouldn't have to suffer the same way.

 

[krazykidd]

I answered "Im Old School", but your timing was off. Sex is waiting until we are married. If they dont want to wait, then tough. Although, everyone of my friends (and I would never date someone I wasnt friends with) feel the same way, and my girlfriend is even more strict about this, so the problem is solved.

But .. What happens of the sex is terrible? Although , if you are a virgin when you are married you have nothing to compare it to , so win/win i guess . Well i applaud you for you willpower , i for one couldn't wait that long , and also couldn't date someone if the sex was bad . That and i have no will to be married.

 

[SckizoBoy]

Don't get me wrong, its a rule that's broken almost constantly (By me, too, in the past).

But after several... situations, I learned my lesson. I just wish I could share this rule with everyone so they wouldn't have to suffer the same way.

To be fair, that relationship ended so badly (she almost went clinically psycho, and I was close to following her down that path) that for all I didn't want it to end, fuck I wouldn't want to go through that again, so I actually kinda have to agree... :/

 

[LetalisK]

Nope. Never had sex on the first date, never will. In addition to that, I never initiate the first sexual encounter. Not out some weird sense of "chivalry", mind you, quite the opposite. I'm a tease and a half and I enjoy watching them simmer.

Now, for full disclosure's sake, there is a difference between having sex on the first date and having sex with someone you're just hooking up with. The latter I've done, though I deeply regretted it for other reasons.

 

[Souplex]

Entirely depends on the circumstances going into the date.
If I'm pretty sure we both went in simply because we wanted sex, then yea.
If I think we're both looking for more long-term stuff, then it's a little more nebulous.

 

[Loop Stricken]

Wait... what's a girl?

 

[Saviordd1]

I say yay.

I'm also in college so take that for what its worth.

 

[Naeras]

Um, as I'm completely clueless as to how American dating culture works: what is even the question here?

Is the question "will you try to get laid on the first date", or is it "if you were out with a girl and she wanted to bone, would you say yes?", or something else that I'm not even considering?

If it the former, that depends on how the date has been going. That also goes for the second one, I'd easily turn down a girl if I've been getting red flags the entire evening.
So... is "depends" a possible option here?

And that being said, there's not really "dating" over here. It's mostly just hanging out until you figure out whether or not both parties are interested, rather than asking people out and having an arbitrary number of times you go out before you decide whether or not you want to (or should) pork someone. I definitely prefer this. :V

 

[Pieturli]

Errrm, well assuming we both want to have sex, then why not do it?


I don't get why the number of dates actually matters. Why does there have to be a formula?

Obviously, I don't expect someone to put out on the first date. Or the second. Or third, or fourth, or fifth. I expect them to put out when they feel like it, and if that happens to be on the first date, then fuck yeah. If it happens on the tenth date, then thats the way it is.

 

[Pieturli]

It's mostly just hanging out until you figure out whether or not both parties are interested, rather than asking people out and having an arbitrary number of times you go out before you decide whether or not you want to (or should) pork someone. I definitely prefer this. :V

This. What is this shit about having to have a formula? At least here in Finland it just happens if it happens. I've never heard anyone here talk about the correct number of dates before fucking.

 

[lacktheknack]

I'm actually old-school, wait until the wedding bells are clanging. (And you've preferably reached a bedroom and are no longer in public. Preferably.)

 

[clippen05]

I mean, I've never gone on a date before, but if I were to I wouldn't expect sex on the first date. I certainly wouldn't ask for it, and even if she offered it, I'd be a little iffy on whether or not I'd accept.

 

[Abomination]

It would seem quite pointless to place such an arbitrary barrier between myself and getting what I want out of the thing in the first place.

Hell, I'll sleep with her BEFORE the first date if I have that option.

Know what? She'll be lucky to even get a date - it depends on her performance during the pre-date sex.

 

[Jadak]

If she's offering it, I'm taking it. End of story.

(Given the assumption that by dating her in the first place, I find her attractive)

 

[BOOM headshot65]

But .. What happens of the sex is terrible?

Um....Oh well? I married her (or I guess, will marry her) because she is my friend, I enjoy spending time with her, And I want to come home every day of my life and see her there at my home........and then walk the Earth with her as ghost in the afterlife, making sure she doesnt mess with people _>

Although , if you are a virgin when you are married you have nothing to compare it to , so win/win i guess.

We are both virgins, so its a mutual "I have no idea what the hell I am doing." Although for us, Sex is not something you do for "fun", it is the ends to a mean, that mean being making her pregnant because we want children (and she REALLY wants twins. Dont ask, because I dont know). Thats not to say we wont have fun with it when those times come, or even that we wont have it outside those times, but we are waiting until we are married, mostly because it is the safest option to avoid children, and (for me at least) so that we dont seem like hypocrites when we tell out children THEY need to wait until they are married, and (for her) because I am "A good man because you dont want sex from a girl." (her words on this).

But its no big loss for us. Sex would likely hurt our relationship, not help it (because she would get mad at me for asking, see above), and we would rather play games or watch Youtube and Anime together. So this problem was solved before it even became a problem.

 

[thejackyl]

If it's someone who I'm hanging out with for the first-ish time: (i.e. I don't know them too much outside of asking them out for the first time.) I would say no, there's not really enough time to establish feelings.

If it's someone that I've known for a while, I might depending on how I've felt while I've known them.

That being said, having sex on the first date (for me) is a sign that the relationship is going to end quickly, or will evolve to a purely physical relationship (both which I'm not looking for).

I know two girls right now that I would have sex with after a single date if they were up for it, but any random girl, I'm not going to. Though I'm known to try to take my pants off several times a night when I'm out with friends.

 

[TheDoctor455]

Most likely no. Mainly because I'm mostly asexual, so its very unlikely that I'm going to be thinking with my dick any time soon.

That's not to say I'm repulsed by sex, I just find the prospect of it a bit boring.

As such, I instantly become suspicious whenever someone comes onto me (it has happened... on occasion... and on occasion... I've even noticed).

Its just plain weird to me, plus... I have some other hang-ups about it that I'd rather not get into here.

 

[Callate]

I'm married. In the past I've had a handful of girlfriends, some of whom I slept with.

I have been on one- count 'em, one- "date", that was recognized as such by all involved.

Just how things worked out, I guess- most of my romantic life has been with friends, or friends of friends, so there was no clearly delineated "this is a romantic gathering strictly organized to determine if we have some kind of long- or short- term intimate future together." One day there was a conversation about possibilities, or an initiation of physical intimacy that was openly welcomed, or both.

So I may not be the one to answer this question.

I guess I could honestly say that once a romantic partner and I decided to become physically intimate, things moved fairly fast, but it's never started with sex.