Poll: A question for the guys . Sex on the first date, Yay or nay?

[BOOM headshot65]

and (for her) because I am "A good man because you dont want sex from a girl." (her words on this).

While I'm not going to say anything about your conservative views on sex (I'm going to take a guess that your Catholic, judging by your mistrust of contraceptives and plans to influence your children not to have pre-marital sex), that's a pretty messed up view your girlfriend has. Does she honestly look down on those who have sex before marriage?

Well, lets take care of this in parts.

For your first Accusation of us being Catholic: For me, I am actually Lutheran, kind of. While I follow the Lutheran faith to a degree, I am not a stringint follower of the faith. In fact, this is one of the few things I follow to the letter. Which makes it doubly ironic that you would accuse me of being Catholic since the Lutherans are basically Catholics worst enemies. For her, she is technically Catholic..........but a very bad one. Her mom never had her baptised, she WILL NOT go to ANY church except to get married, and the "No sex before marriage" rule is one of the ONLY one she follows, really.

Second, our refusal of Birth Control is mostly pragmatic. Even going by the best case senario that contraception is effective 99.7% of the time, that is still less than 100%, for what is in our eyes a VERY small reward for a very, very, VERY!!!!!! big risk (We are both opposed to abortions, and I actually want to have them made much harder to get than they are now). Thus, there is no reason to take the risk, no matter how small it is, on this subject.

Third: I really dont see whats the problem with telling your kids to not have sex before they are married. I really dont. And its not like I am going to hang them out to dry, I will tell them about birth control so if they disobey me, at least they can be somewhat safe, but if they do they will have to buy it themselves, and if I find out, they can kiss thier privacy and several privilages goodby.


As for her belief, its a "kind of." For the most part, her reaction is "I dont care, do what you want" and as long as you dont TELL her, she wont say a thing. Its mostly a "men" thing. She thinks that men (and plenty of women) are for the most part too obsessed with sex and that they should learn to wait. But she wont get mad or anything toward random strangers. Its mostly a towards friends thing. That doesnt stop her from saying that she is glad that I am not like other guys and DONT want sex with her. And she would get very mad if I tried.

 

[mokes310]

Sure, why not? I'm not so prudish to think that there's anything wrong with bumping uglies.

 

[Kennetic]

I wouldn't but then again I'm old-school. I like to really get to know a girl before I bang them. But hey, I'm a virgin so what do I know. I've had the opportunity on the first date and turned it down. Just not my style I guess.

 

[Mister Chippy]

Would I attempt to initiate sex on the first date? Fuck no, not unless I was already hella confident about my chances and knew the person I was with quite well.

Would I have sex with anyone I was attracted to who offered? Fuck yes, date or no date. I wouldn't even care if we had gone on a date or not.

 

[splayfoot1]

It depends, if it's someone I've known for a while and we are making the step up to dating, and she want's to have sex on the first date, then awesome.

But if it's someone I barely know, and they want to have sex on the first date,I'm all for it, but it's a one night stand, and probably wont go anywhere.

 

[spartan231490]

No. I don't consider it a healthy step for a meaningful relationship. In fact, if the insinuation was made it would give me serious doubts about the relationship.

 

[Annihilist]

Why not? I'm hardly averse to it.

 

[Arnoxthe1]

Nope. I'm old skool. I've seen some relationships in third person. A lot of them in fact. And every one of them I've seen, it ends badly when sex is done on the first or the second or the third or what have you. The ones I've seen that waited until marriage went great.

And it's also a matter of plain-jane religion to me. Don't get me wrong, I would WANT to have sex on the first date but I know better than that. It's a good idea for both parties to wait until the marriage is finished and then they can do whatever they want whenever they want with each other.

 

[DSK-]

Certainly not! I don't know how I would live with myself if women learned I was such an easy touch!

 

[Abomination]

Just wondering: why do you need to know someone for a long time before sleeping with them?

How long is long enough?

With safe sex does it really matter?

 

[Images]

I had sex on a first date. Had a relationship with her for 8 years. I think peeps find it easy to say that first date sex is rushing but that's just daft. If the magic is there, its there.

 

[fieryshadowcard]

What, you all gay? When the woman offers sex and she is not terribly fat/uggo/crazy/diseased you take it 9/10 times.

Of course I would take the sex on the first date. There's no reason not to unless you or her are an emotional klutz that will ruin things by having sex, but if you're normal that shouldn't happen.

1) Pretty solidly convinced if I asked your age I should probably divide whatever you tell me by 10.
2) Pretty darn sure a guy would be gay if and only if their answer regarding sex or not on the first date regarded another man.
3) Pretty much confident your comment would be better received on XBox Live. Try there.

On-Topic:
Depends. Depends on what I'm expecting to get out of that first date, or at the very least what the circumstances were leading up to the question even being relevant.

 

[Caiphus]

It's difficult to say. I haven't been on neeearly enough first dates to know (wwe're talking 1). And I didn't have sex on it. Partially because I was 18 at the time.

I'm inclined to say no, because of my age. But who knows, when I'm 30 and my morals are jaded maybe I will. Other party willing, of course.

 

[FPLOON]

Wait... what's a girl?

To me, it's someone who's either already in a relationship or someone who doesn't want to hang out with me... "What? I'm a nice guy..." I always say in my head since I can never actually spoke to one up close in an unprofessional way...

OT: I don't know... I feel like I'm old school... And what if she ask first? I know I won't... How do you even do that?? *sighs* I need to lie down... Just put my answer as "depends", if that's an actual alternative answer... or "I'm old school", whichever one came last...

 

[Asmundr]

Depends

Is this a first date with someone I only recently met? Or one with an individual I've known for months or years, and are just now looking into a romantic relationship?

If the former, the answer is no, at least for the time being. If the latter, yes

Yeah, I'd have to agree with this. If I didn't know the person very well I don't think I'd be comfortable jumping right into it. If I knew and trusted them well enough already, well, why not?

Pretty much this ^

If I have know the gal for a long time and we're both interested and okay with it then sure. I'm not the kind of guy to try and sleep with someone I just met or do the whole "on night stand" thing. I saw enough of how things like that ended back in high school and I never wanted any part of it.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

I know this thread is for guys, but screw it, I wanna answer too.

Yes. I will sleep with a person (male or female) on the first date.

As it happens, my spouse and I had sex on our first date. Been together over ten years.

 

[Gordon_4_v1legacy]

If you're both into the idea, shag on ye fucking shagger man