Poll: Another Relationship Question (without sex)

[hyperhammy]

You just want to fuck her?
No relationship or nothing you just want to have sex with her?

In my opinion, you're* being a bit of a twat.

Well, that's men for you.

Like I already said, I'm probably not going to bone her.

That's what they all say

Let's just say her parents are also there.
Not banging this chick.

So what do you plan on doing, then?

In fact, how old are you?

I'm not planning anything. I just want to go with the flow.
I'm 15. ^^

You want to do her though, right?

Don't you think 15 is a little too young?

 

[JanatUrlich]

Dude, why no sex?!??!

I don't know. Guess we aren't ready yet for something like that. At least I'm not ready for sex. It's more important to me to bond on an emotional level.

But I thought you said that you didn't want a relationship?? Emotions and bonding is a relationship I'm afraid!

Guess it is a relationship, but it's probably only going to be serious for a week. I want to make sure she knows that this is only a summer thing, or whenever I can come visit her.

And what makes you think that she's gonna settle for just that? Maybe she doesn't want just a summer thing?

What if she thinks, like most people, that a summer fling means just sex? No-one wants to be in a 'serious relationship' for a week dude. I think you don't really know what you want and you're just gonna add to your own confusion, aswell as this girls'.

 

[Jaranja]

You just want to fuck her?
No relationship or nothing you just want to have sex with her?

In my opinion, you're* being a bit of a twat.

Well, that's men for you.

Like I already said, I'm probably not going to bone her.

That's what they all say

Let's just say her parents are also there.
Not banging this chick.

So what do you plan on doing, then?

In fact, how old are you?

I'm not planning anything. I just want to go with the flow.
I'm 15. ^^

You want to do her though, right?

Don't you think 15 is a little too young?

From the age of 13 or 14, boys want to fuck everything that looks pretty.

Anyway, the jist of my answer is simply:

What's the point if you're just going to leave and be even more heartbroken than before?

 

[Jaranja]

Dude, why no sex?!??!

I don't know. Guess we aren't ready yet for something like that. At least I'm not ready for sex. It's more important to me to bond on an emotional level.

But I thought you said that you didn't want a relationship?? Emotions and bonding is a relationship I'm afraid!

Guess it is a relationship, but it's probably only going to be serious for a week. I want to make sure she knows that this is only a summer thing, or whenever I can come visit her.

And what makes you think that she's gonna settle for just that? Maybe she doesn't want just a summer thing?

What if she thinks, like most people, that a summer fling means just sex? No-one wants to be in a 'serious relationship' for a week dude. I think you don't really know what you want and you're just gonna add to your own confusion, aswell as this girls'.

You took what I was trying to say; added some spices and herbs; let it simmer in the pan for 10 minutes, and produced an amazing answer.

*tips hat*

 

[hyperhammy]

You just want to fuck her?
No relationship or nothing you just want to have sex with her?

In my opinion, you're* being a bit of a twat.

Well, that's men for you.

Like I already said, I'm probably not going to bone her.

That's what they all say

Let's just say her parents are also there.
Not banging this chick.

So what do you plan on doing, then?

In fact, how old are you?

I'm not planning anything. I just want to go with the flow.
I'm 15. ^^

You want to do her though, right?

Don't you think 15 is a little too young?

From the age of 13 or 14, boys want to fuck everything that looks pretty.

Anyway, the jist of my answer is simply:

What's the point if you're just going to leave and be even more heartbroken than before?

I actually want to finally get rid of this feeling: "what could have been?". We both had the same feelings toward each other and I was too big a pussy to do something about it.

 

[Baby Tea]

I just don't want to feel like there could have been something. Like I did the last couple of years.

But what happens if you fall even further for this girl during this 'fling'?
Then you'll feel even more like complete crap when you leave.

And what about her? Maybe she wants more then a fling? How would it be fair to her if you showed up for part of the summer, hung out and got really close, and then bailed again. You might get some 'closure' (Whatever THAT means), but she could be left totally devastated that you're both gone, and unwilling to try and continue the relationship. That'd be a pretty dick move. How is that fair to her?

The whole thing sounds selfish.
I say no.

EDIT: Wait, you're 15?
Oh for crap sake. Here I thought it was a serious relationship thread.
Yeah, knock yourself out. She'll forget about you 'in that way' in about 2 months.

 

[Celtic_Kerr]

Dude, why no sex?!??!

I don't know. Guess we aren't ready yet for something like that. At least I'm not ready for sex. It's more important to me to bond on an emotional level.

But I thought you said that you didn't want a relationship?? Emotions and bonding is a relationship I'm afraid!

Guess it is a relationship, but it's probably only going to be serious for a week. I want to make sure she knows that this is only a summer thing, or whenever I can come visit her.

And what makes you think that she's gonna settle for just that? Maybe she doesn't want just a summer thing?

What if she thinks, like most people, that a summer fling means just sex? No-one wants to be in a 'serious relationship' for a week dude. I think you don't really know what you want and you're just gonna add to your own confusion, aswell as this girls'.

I ahve to agree man. A week is a tease. A massive tease. Just as you grow close you'll have to leave. there will be tears... I wouldn't man. Hell I'd stay at someone else's house... being around her 24/7 will be tough enough

 

[Benny lava]

It would appear that to some point you've aready got a relationship with this lassie. Why you would figure that you could get away with having a fling with this girl is hard for me to guess. Really all you'r going to accomplish is a lot of hurt feelings.

In other words you cant just have a simple fling with some one who you've formed a connction of the sort who described with. Someone is going to find this too be harder than thy anticpated,either you or the lass.

 

[jcm0791]

The bigger question here is: What does she want?

We, as men, seem to only ever think about what we want and how it will affect us. As the old saying goes "It takes two to tango". We here at the Escapist all love the opportunity to soap box (we can only listen to Yahtzee rant for about 8 or 9 hours a day) but the reality is that she is the one who you need to ask.

My experience (based on my female friends who have been crushed by "unthinking jerks") is that everyone wants to be part of the decision making process. IF she truly is, and you wish to keep this girl as, a friend then you should be able to discuss anything. It is possible to retain a friend post coitus, but not if you are just out to "hit that". Everyone likes to feel sexually attractive so if you feel this way (and I am assuming you do) let her know.

Finally, and this is the most important bit ... KNOW YOURSELF ... know who you are and what you want. It is better to be a douche bag who knows that he is a douche bag than to believe you are a good guy when you are not.

That said:

I ... am a man ... and I am flawed; therefore, given the opportunity, I would probably do the wrong thing and "hit it"

 

[Jaranja]

You just want to fuck her?
No relationship or nothing you just want to have sex with her?

In my opinion, you're* being a bit of a twat.

Well, that's men for you.

Like I already said, I'm probably not going to bone her.

That's what they all say

Let's just say her parents are also there.
Not banging this chick.

So what do you plan on doing, then?

In fact, how old are you?

I'm not planning anything. I just want to go with the flow.
I'm 15. ^^

You want to do her though, right?

Don't you think 15 is a little too young?

From the age of 13 or 14, boys want to fuck everything that looks pretty.

Anyway, the jist of my answer is simply:

What's the point if you're just going to leave and be even more heartbroken than before?

I actually want to finally get rid of this feeling: "what could have been?". We both had the same feelings toward each other and I was too big a pussy to do something about it.

You were protecting yourself from heartache, that's not being a pussy.

Summer flings don't work as well as you'd think. You can't simply turn relationships on and off. The thoughts of her will linger in your mind for a while after you've left.

 

[Spinozaad]

Is sex the only thing that's important to you people?!
Weren't you ever young, or had a crush on a girl? Sex isn't everything.

Sex, alongside that warm fuzzy feeling of mutual care, is everything in a relationship. It's probably more, because you can have the former perfectly well without the latter.

As for the rest, the lovely JanatUrlich has said it all.

 

[Chogg Van Helsing]

You just want to fuck her?
No relationship or nothing you just want to have sex with her?

In my opinion, you're* being a bit of a twat.

Well, that's men for you.

Like I already said, I'm probably not going to bone her.

this is the part we all find out she is on the escapist, looking at this thread. that could be bad lol.

but im not exactly sure what ur saying

no sex, but no relationship either, but still a fling where none of you will be hurt

dude, u triped over your own foot then fell into a wall on that one lol.

think about what u want more, if u are old enough or have enough money, then form a relationship and u can visit her every now and again, but u need to be mature enough to remain faithful while away from her

so it all comes down to yours and hers commitment and maturity :/

EDIT: i just read the post where u posted ur age...

i think you're a bit young to be chasing a girl half way across the world from you almost :/

i wouldn't try anything if i were you, it'll just end in u hating to leave and hurting your self and her :/ (emotionally, not physically i would hope)

 

[jark.jark]

Do it and be honest. It will bring closure. IO have no problem spending time with any ex of mine, but it tears me apart spending time with people who there was almost something with. If you really love her it will help.

 

[jcm0791]

I just don't want to feel like there could have been something. Like I did the last couple of years.

But what happens if you fall even further for this girl during this 'fling'?
Then you'll feel even more like complete crap when you leave.

And what about her? Maybe she wants more then a fling? How would it be fair to her if you showed up for part of the summer, hung out and got really close, and then bailed again. You might get some 'closure' (Whatever THAT means), but she could be left totally devastated that you're both gone, and unwilling to try and continue the relationship. That'd be a pretty dick move. How is that fair to her?

The whole thing sounds selfish.
I say no.

EDIT: Wait, you're 15?
Oh for crap sake. Here I thought it was a serious relationship thread.
Yeah, knock yourself out. She'll forget about you 'in that way' in about 2 months.

Uhhh .... yea .... forget everthing I said ... I am with Baby Tea on this one.

 

[Lucifer dern]

dont wait to long my friend, or you will regret it and she will disapear

 

[oktalist]

The question is, should I try getting closer to her?

Let her signal the correct course of action.

 

[The Stonker]

Don't do it because in the end you will only break your heart and her heart in this bewildering idea.
So I suggest that you think with logic just a tiny bit and then let your heart do the dancing because breaking someones heart is never a great or a "fun" thing but your making it sound like it's fun.

 

[SilverUchiha]

I saw now because summer flings suck. I know being on the break-up end of two now. It sucks because I've always gotten really into the girl when I go into a relationship, but when it fizzles out like summer flings do, it really sucks... I wouldn't do it.

 

[ZeroMachine]

Casual fling usually = sex or hooking up. Going for just the emotional aspect could make things even harder though (pun not withstanding).

I would definitely not go for anything because of the distance and because you aren't ready for sex. If you manage to move to the US and live near her, though, fuckin' go for it, man. You two do sound like you have something pretty special. I'd hate to see it go to waste!

EDIT:
Oh... and all things considered, wait until you're older to make it into something serious. Statistics I'm obviously making up but that can be considered and educated guess say that 99.99999999999999999% of relationships around your age sputter and die in no more than a year.

 

[p3t3r]

i wouldn't think to much about it and just let thing happen