Poll: Bad parents are to blame: why?

[Ygfi]

So we know that bad parenting has been causing kids to become more and more [negatively toned word here], as parents are the main influence to their childered, despite what some of them may want to imagine. i know this, i don't need to debate this. what i'm interested in is how this happened. why are parents becomming worse parents? is is simply because their parents worn't that great? is it beause of huge social changes? why?

yes there are many good parents, and many good kids with bad parents etc, this doesn't concern me and is not for discussion.

i gave a quick serch but it's late and i want to see what people can come up with.

side note on the poll, i just want to see what people think the ratio of blame for behavior is:
parents:society
this does not include other factors. i just want to know the comparison of these two.

Edit: sorry, i hit enter thinking it would "retern" to the next box down (not to self: use tab)

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

I blame the law for not being tough enough.
It's Time To Crack Down On You Bitches!

 

[Aura Guardian]

Because they are getting lazy. All they want to do is to shut there kids up. So they buy them whatever they what without knowing what they buy.

 

[Ygfi]

Because they are getting lazy. All they want to do is to shut there kids up. So they buy them whatever they what without knowing what they buy.

would this be to do wish society as a whole getting lazier because of our technological advancements or not?

 

[aww yea]

parents arent always a childs main influence

you can be the best parent possible and your child could still quite easily derail

equally i think horrible parents can result in brilliant kids as they learn what not to do and become independent (keep in mind im not saying this is absolute)

its the lazy parents that are worst. the ones that raise their kids through money, farm them of to babysitters so they can party/work

parents aren't becoming worse, just lazier

also what happened with your poll?

 

[Hazy]

People are bad parents, because they don't want to PARENT. You know, enforce guidelines and punish their children when they do something that goes against those guidelines. People are too worried about upsetting their children, because they want to be the "Best Friend." This is the closest video that I could find on the matter, even though it might not be spot on.
(Let me just go on the record by stating: I do not like Dr. Phil. If anything, just watch the introduction to this. Specifically the part where she states "I don't know how to stop her from actually doing it." Simple solution: No car, no phone, nobody dies. Easy.)

 

[Ygfi]

Just to add, i'm not just talking about women. men should be playing half, if not more, of the parental role when it comes to deciplining childeren; so why are fathers becoming worse and worse at it?

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

You seem to be implying that parents today are somewhat worse than the parents of the past.

I'm pretty sure we can all agree that bad parenting is a timeless tradition.

 

[clicketycrack]

People are bad parents, because they don't want to PARENT. You know, enforce guidelines and punish their children when they do something that goes against those guidelines. People are too worried about upsetting their children, because they all want to be the "Best Friend."

I kinda agree with this. It seems that parents today seem to have forgotten that they're disciplinarians first and friends later (If they even want to be friends. I've always kinda looked down on the "cool parents" because who the hell wants to be friends with a kid?)

 

[Grayjack]

People are bad parents, because they don't want to PARENT. You know, enforce guidelines and punish their children when they do something that goes against those guidelines. People are too worried about upsetting their children, because they all want to be the "Best Friend." This is the closest video that I could find on the matter, even though it might not be spot on.

Spoiler

(Let me just go on the record by stating: I do not like Dr. Phil. If anything, just watch the introduction to this. Specifically the part where she states "I don't know how to stop her from actually doing it." Simple solution: No car, no phone, nobody dies. Easy.)

Jesus, that girl pisses me off.

OT: I think society is partly to blame, with a 3:2 ratio.

 

[Cowabungaa]

Since when are "parents" and "society" 2 different things? Parents are part of society, and for children one of the closest parts of society to them.

 

[Tyrant T100]

I'd say equally. Firstly it's getting rarer and rarer for parents to hit their children when they do something wrong and secondly I think we need a fair bit more police brutality. It pisses me off when I see junkies get caught by the police only to be told that they shouldn't do it again, you kidding me cops, I want to see you go all Captain Hadley from Shawshank on their arse's with your truncheons.

 

[Ygfi]

*snip*
also what happened with your poll?

yeah, sorry about that, it's my first time putting a pole up here and i've been using excel too much (enter shifts down a box)

People are bad parents, because they don't want to PARENT. You know, enforce guidelines and punish their children when they do something that goes against those guidelines. People are too worried about upsetting their children, because they all want to be the "Best Friend." This is the closest video that I could find on the matter, even though it might not be spot on.
(Let me just go on the record by stating: I do not like Dr. Phil. If anything, just watch the introduction to this. Specifically the part where she states "I don't know how to stop her from actually doing it." Simple solution: No car, no phone, nobody dies. Easy.)

what happened though, i see my mum trying to be friends with my sister and that turned out badly for my sisters life (lack of proper control, but being a single parent and being in my hometown was mum's reason [she's doing fine now though]). so would it be single parenting becomming more common? and can't parents be both friendly and deciplinry at the same time? (like, no desert until you eat your dinner, but i'll heat it up if it goes cold).

on a tangent, nice to see Dr. Phil actually say something reasonable.

 

[Froobyx]

Ever watched Super Nanny? With all the kids effing and blinding, punching everything and acting up when they're outside.. I wouldn't have dared do that when I was like 4, 5 whatever because I was caught writing naughty words all over a box and grounded for 2 weeks for doing it.

I was a pleasent child apart from the occasional groundings but meh, it's all about growing up. My mother was doing a good job raising us single handedly. Didn't go out every other night and hardly ever got a baby sitter over knew how to discipline us because she'd been disciplined.

But these days, you get 9 year olds being little shit bags and thinking they're the best thing since sliced bread. The street round the back of me is prolly mostly council owned.. There's a shit load of druggies and yeah I can't walk down the street without getting started on by an 8 year old.

 

[Ygfi]

You seem to be implying that parents today are somewhat worse than the parents of the past.

I'm pretty sure we can all agree that bad parenting is a timeless tradition.

they are, havn't you noticed?
speeding, regular fights, drinking, all the whoring around and don't bring up the littering or language.
i swear year 8 kids are getting worse and worse.

Since when are "parents" and "society" 2 different things? Parents are part of society, and for children one of the closest parts of society to them.

i'm not saying there different. if i have to expand; think: parents v. the rest of society.
i really didn't think i'd need to spell out the implication but i guess i was wrong.

 

[KaiRai]

I blame the law for not being tough enough.
It's Time To Crack Down On You Bitches!

I'm actually agreeing with this. Right idea. A kid smashes up a bus stop. ASBO, and he gets to tell all his friends he got away with it. Now if you were to give him 6 months of probably being beaten daily and having his muffin's stolen by huge guys, he'd learn his lessons pretty sharpish.

 

[Jedoro]

To me, it's a 1:1:1 (parents:society:kid) because anyone who is involved is to blame. Everyone has a choice they could have made differently. When people start taking responsibility and not looking for a scapegoat, then we'll see a change in how things are done.

 

[JaredXE]

(Let me just go on the record by stating: I do not like Dr. Phil. If anything, just watch the introduction to this. Specifically the part where she states "I don't know how to stop her from actually doing it." Simple solution: No car, no phone, nobody dies. Easy.)

"Short of taking it away from her, I don't know how to stop her from actually doing it."


FUCKING TAKE IT AWAY!

Jesus that is a lazy mother. Hopefully the daughter will die and the mom can learn her lesson and raise the next kid better.

This is a topic I tend to get heated and mean on. I am sick and tired of lazy-assed parents catering to their kids. Don't these people realize that their job, nay, their DUTY is to raise and be responsible for these kids and turn them into people they themselves would want to associate with? Our society (sorry, WESTERN society)is constantly telling parents that children shouldn't have negative discipline. That hitting a child is wrong. That positive bribery is fine. That it's ok to leave the kid alone for hours watching tv, because hey, it's rated G and that's just fine with them.

NO! Stop spoiling your children. Stop teaching them they're entitled little twats that should have everything catered to them, and if they happen to fail at something....THEN THEY ARE A FAILURE! The stupid self-esteem movement that has been circulating in America for the past few decades is one of the major reasons why things have become shit socially. Telling someone that they are the "Last Winner" instead of the loser they were doesn't build a solid individual. It's what has been lowering the standards the last few decades, trying to make everyone feel special when they aren't.

Kids are nothing more than miniature versons of the people YOU see walking the streets. Do you think any of THEM are special? Kids are just like everyone else, a few smart and successful, and a whole lot of losers. And parents don't seem to be preparing their kids for that eventuality.

And why should they? THEY grew up thinking they were special and entitled too. Which is why the mortgage industry took such a huge hit. "You mean I was supposed to PAY! But, the money went to my new home that I can't even afford to furnish without using my Visa but I know I deserve to have this wonderful 3 bedroom house in the suburbs with just me and my spouse and our wonderful golden retriever and our pikanese." FUCK YOU you selfish, entitled, law-suit happy, overly arrogant, standard lowering yuppie wannabe pieces of crap.

Raise your kids to be the people you want to be proud of, the kind of people you would hang with and be their friend. But DON'T be your kid's friend! If they do something wrong, punish them. Tell them WHY they are being punished.

Have them buy their own shit. No, not when they're two, but once they hit the age where they can do things like babysit and mow the neighbor's lawn, make them spend their money on that videogame they want. Force them to have a job when they hit 16 and want to drive. Make them pay for that cell phone they use. Teach them to be PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS, a phrase most kids don't recognize unless it pops up in the SAT.

 

[Ygfi]

I'd say equally. Firstly it's getting rarer and rarer for parents to hit their children when they do something wrong and secondly I think we need a fair bit more police brutality. It pisses me off when I see junkies get caught by the police only to be told that they shouldn't do it again, you kidding me cops, I want to see you go all Captain Hadley from Shawshank on their arse's with your truncheons.

i would agree with the parents getting scared to hit their kids. that i guess if from the parents being scared of being pointed at as abusers. while this may be society that points at them, it was other abusive parents who hit their kids for no reason that there's even an abuse finger to point.
and i don't want to drag drugs into this too much, try keep your points OT or atleast note the OT.

To me, it's a 1:1:1 (parents:society:kid) because anyone who is involved is to blame. Everyone has a choice they could have made differently. When people start taking responsibility and not looking for a scapegoat, then we'll see a change in how things are done.

i see your point but i would argue that parents have made the decision to have the kid, and the other two parties had no choice, so the parent should already be expecting more of a task. and ultimately, while we all have to make choices, the decisions are normally based on things that parents and society teaches us.

 

[Jedoro]

To me, it's a 1:1:1 (parents:society:kid) because anyone who is involved is to blame. Everyone has a choice they could have made differently. When people start taking responsibility and not looking for a scapegoat, then we'll see a change in how things are done.

i see your point but i would argue that parents have made the decision to have the kid, and the other two parties had no choice, so the parent should already be expecting more of a task. and ultimately, while we all have to make choices, the decisions are normally based on things that parents and society teaches us.

True, but society knows that kids are gonna be made, so they should be prepared for it anyways. But while the kid is raised by the parents, he or she is still able to make choices.