Poll: BLOOD! BLOOD EVERYWARE!

[CakeDragon]

Well... Fuck.
Or
DAMN IT, KHORNE(Warhammer's God of Blood)!

Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for his skull throne!

Ahem.

I wake up in a room covered in blood. Undeterred, I look down at my own body. I see I am missing both my arms and legs. I shrug (or as much as a person can without arms), roll over and go back to sleep.

 

[ParkourMcGhee]

I'd assume that I went psycho and murdered somebody... though I'm not quite sure why I would do such a thing.

Possibly due to having playing fahrenheit *shrug*.

 

[runnernda]

I would just assume it was my own blood. I'm super clumsy and accident prone, so I accidentally hurt myself all the time. I would just assume I had done something in my sleep.

 

[Lacsapix]

So I was practicing blood-magic, is that so bad?

 

[JokerCrowe]

I'd first check if I had any wounds. And then be like "Oh shit, that dteam where I killed all those people and drank their blood wasn't a dream?" Or maybe someone came into my room and threw the blood around because they wanted to remind me that I was traumatized by blood as a kid.
The weird thing is this actually (sort of) happened to me. My nose had bled during the night and I didn't wake up while it was happening. So when i woke up in the morning almost my entire face and head was covered in blood. Nearly scared my mom to death.

 

[BloodyThoughts]

You see, the Geico Gecko came to me in mt sleep and shanked me until I finally gave in and switched to Geico.

The extreme's these insurance companies are going through, eh?

 

[Corpse XxX]

As said by Eminem... "So what if you are on your period? Blood never hurt nobody!"

 

[Alon Shechter]

Well, fuck.
Not this again!

 

[Trivun]

I save my work, close Microsoft Word Processor, and get up and make myself a cup of coffee. Because this seems like the sort of scenario my short stories have in them. There's a story in my head right now that I want to turn into a webcomic, if I can find a decent artist to draw it for me, in the style of a private eye story with vampires and werewolves and what have you.

Otherwise, I'd probably consider that I'd done something bad, because if I was actually waking up then it wouldn't be my blood to begin with. And then I'd investigate what happened. And then write a short story or webcomic about it .

 

[Bonecrusher]

You wake up in your bed, rub the gunk out of your eyes, and then you look around to see you and your room are covered in blood! You have no memory of what happend the night before. All you know is that there is blood all over the place!

"I live, again!"

too obvious? may be...

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

'This again, huh? Not going THERE anymore.'

Hey, this time it wasn't my fault okay!

OT: I'unno. One of my kidneys probably exploded or something.

Uh... sorry 'bout that. Crazy night, eh?

The kidneys?

Yep, the kidneys. Now I just need some steak and my pie will be perfect~
And at least now you have a cool looking scar.

You monster!
Can I try some?

Also, in future retellings of this story, you're an enraged bear okay?

Pfft, me share my steak and kidney pie with the person whose kidney I stole?
... ;w; *Sniffles*
I-I thought you'd never ask. I saved the biggest piece especially for you.


An enraged bear with a penchant for baking? I like the way you think.

 

[Kuchinawa212]

Nosebleed. That's what normally happens to me

 

[lacktheknack]

You wake up in your bed, rub the gunk out of your eyes, and then you look around to see you and your room are covered in blood! You have no memory of what happend the night before. All you know is that there is blood all over the place!

What do you think happened?

I think someone misspelled "everywhere"

I like irony.

Hmmn?
I don't get it.

Not cool, man.

 

[Jedamethis]

'This again, huh? Not going THERE anymore.'

Hey, this time it wasn't my fault okay!

OT: I'unno. One of my kidneys probably exploded or something.

Uh... sorry 'bout that. Crazy night, eh?

The kidneys?

Yep, the kidneys. Now I just need some steak and my pie will be perfect~
And at least now you have a cool looking scar.

You monster!
Can I try some?

Also, in future retellings of this story, you're an enraged bear okay?

Pfft, me share my steak and kidney pie with the person whose kidney I stole?
... ;w; *Sniffles*
I-I thought you'd never ask. I saved the biggest piece especially for you.


An enraged bear with a penchant for baking? I like the way you think.

Marvelous!

Exquisite baking sir!

Well, perhaps downplay the baking bit, and hopefully that'll explain the scar.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

'This again, huh? Not going THERE anymore.'

Hey, this time it wasn't my fault okay!

OT: I'unno. One of my kidneys probably exploded or something.

Uh... sorry 'bout that. Crazy night, eh?

The kidneys?

Yep, the kidneys. Now I just need some steak and my pie will be perfect~
And at least now you have a cool looking scar.

You monster!
Can I try some?

Also, in future retellings of this story, you're an enraged bear okay?

Pfft, me share my steak and kidney pie with the person whose kidney I stole?
... ;w; *Sniffles*
I-I thought you'd never ask. I saved the biggest piece especially for you.


An enraged bear with a penchant for baking? I like the way you think.

Marvelous!

Exquisite baking sir!

Well, perhaps downplay the baking bit, and hopefully that'll explain the scar.

I thank thee kindly, and I must compliment your rather well groomed moustache.

Well, the baking would be the whole reason why you'd get that scar. Now you can show it off at parties and say that a bear stole your kidney for dinner.

 

[Jedamethis]

'This again, huh? Not going THERE anymore.'

Hey, this time it wasn't my fault okay!

OT: I'unno. One of my kidneys probably exploded or something.

Uh... sorry 'bout that. Crazy night, eh?

The kidneys?

Yep, the kidneys. Now I just need some steak and my pie will be perfect~
And at least now you have a cool looking scar.

You monster!
Can I try some?

Also, in future retellings of this story, you're an enraged bear okay?

Pfft, me share my steak and kidney pie with the person whose kidney I stole?
... ;w; *Sniffles*
I-I thought you'd never ask. I saved the biggest piece especially for you.


An enraged bear with a penchant for baking? I like the way you think.

Marvelous!

Exquisite baking sir!

Well, perhaps downplay the baking bit, and hopefully that'll explain the scar.

I thank thee kindly, and I must compliment your rather well groomed moustache.

Well, the baking would be the whole reason why you'd get that scar. Now you can show it off at parties and say that a bear stole your kidney for dinner.

Why thank you! I do take great pride in it.

Hmmm...yes I think that would work.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

'This again, huh? Not going THERE anymore.'

Hey, this time it wasn't my fault okay!

OT: I'unno. One of my kidneys probably exploded or something.

Uh... sorry 'bout that. Crazy night, eh?

The kidneys?

Yep, the kidneys. Now I just need some steak and my pie will be perfect~
And at least now you have a cool looking scar.

You monster!
Can I try some?

Also, in future retellings of this story, you're an enraged bear okay?

Pfft, me share my steak and kidney pie with the person whose kidney I stole?
... ;w; *Sniffles*
I-I thought you'd never ask. I saved the biggest piece especially for you.


An enraged bear with a penchant for baking? I like the way you think.

Marvelous!

Exquisite baking sir!

Well, perhaps downplay the baking bit, and hopefully that'll explain the scar.

I thank thee kindly, and I must compliment your rather well groomed moustache.

Well, the baking would be the whole reason why you'd get that scar. Now you can show it off at parties and say that a bear stole your kidney for dinner.

Why thank you! I do take great pride in it.

Hmmm...yes I think that would work.

Good. If you didn't take pride in it, that'd be most unfortunate.
If only I could grow one as splendid as that.

And you can turn it into a smiley face, if you so desire. It's made that way.

 

[Jedamethis]

'This again, huh? Not going THERE anymore.'

Hey, this time it wasn't my fault okay!

OT: I'unno. One of my kidneys probably exploded or something.

Uh... sorry 'bout that. Crazy night, eh?

The kidneys?

Yep, the kidneys. Now I just need some steak and my pie will be perfect~
And at least now you have a cool looking scar.

You monster!
Can I try some?

Also, in future retellings of this story, you're an enraged bear okay?

Pfft, me share my steak and kidney pie with the person whose kidney I stole?
... ;w; *Sniffles*
I-I thought you'd never ask. I saved the biggest piece especially for you.


An enraged bear with a penchant for baking? I like the way you think.

Marvelous!

Exquisite baking sir!

Well, perhaps downplay the baking bit, and hopefully that'll explain the scar.

I thank thee kindly, and I must compliment your rather well groomed moustache.

Well, the baking would be the whole reason why you'd get that scar. Now you can show it off at parties and say that a bear stole your kidney for dinner.

Why thank you! I do take great pride in it.

Hmmm...yes I think that would work.

Good. If you didn't take pride in it, that'd be most unfortunate.
If only I could grow one as splendid as that.

And you can turn it into a smiley face, if you so desire. It's made that way.

Ah, it took years of researching hair cultivating techniques and the optimum hair:wax ratio.

A smilrey face?! E gads man! Why on earth would I want that?