Bondage has always been one of my turn ons, both being dominant and submissive. If I find somebody who's really into it, which I have hopes that the current person who I'm with is, then she's a keeper.
Poll: Bondage and Master and Submissive
- Thread starter Blindswordmaster
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Yeah, but isn't bondage just the use of devices to restrain your sexual partner? I know that ropes are common in Eastern bondage circles, but wouldn't chains and leather restraints also be classed as bondage?child of lileth said:
I'm not entirely sure if it would be considered the same, but probably. The thing I was talking about is more that the American idea of bondage always seems to be about wearing leather pants and there you go. I just don't like how so many people seem to have that idea about it for whatever reason.Blindswordmaster said:
You want a guy who's a pure dom and won't go care bear on you? Your place or mine?dorkette1990 said:Actually, around here, it's surprisingly hard to find a dom... I hate the point when THEY want to be tied up, because they're neutral to bondage and tired of trying to be dominant.SimuLord said:There's always an option for subs.dorkette1990 said:
Then again, I'm EXTREME sub (it just makes my day being told what to do
I have similar problems with girls who are like "you can dominate me, but at some point you have to let me tie you up." NO. NOT how it works. A pure sub girl (and I'll take that as far as she's willing, I've yet to find my own limits on that front) is better.
Aah, I love you guysSimuLord said:You want a guy who's a pure dom and won't go care bear on you? Your place or mine?dorkette1990 said:Actually, around here, it's surprisingly hard to find a dom... I hate the point when THEY want to be tied up, because they're neutral to bondage and tired of trying to be dominant.SimuLord said:There's always an option for subs.dorkette1990 said:
Then again, I'm EXTREME sub (it just makes my day being told what to do
I have similar problems with girls who are like "you can dominate me, but at some point you have to let me tie you up." NO. NOT how it works. A pure sub girl (and I'll take that as far as she's willing, I've yet to find my own limits on that front) is better.
I was really sick of trying to explain my enjoyment of submission, and I've dealt with having to be the top (which I am INCREDIBLY uncomfortable with) and with someone not knowing when enough is enough (a guy I was dating used a certain instrument on me, and didn't know when to stop... and I couldn't tell him because I'd gone into sub-space). Lucky me, I met a guy who is very happy to have me sitting at his feet while he plays video games, and who likes to put my collar on and completely dominate me.
For the record: 'sub-space' is a state of mind that is utterly euphoric. I'm not sure exactly how to explain it (maybe someone else is?) but for me it's often induced by pain. When you hit that level, it's hard to say no (often subs will become completely non-verbal when they're in sub-space), and sometimes things can get out of hand (the aforementioned guy left welts across my back. my roommate had to pry the toy out of his hand to get him to stop hitting me with it and I couldn't have said 'no more').
Aaaww, sympathies and hugs sweetie. What a drag.dorkette1990 said:Actually, around here, it's surprisingly hard to find a dom... I hate the point when THEY want to be tied up, because they're neutral to bondage and tired of trying to be dominant.
Then again, I'm EXTREME sub (it just makes my day being told what to do
But you gotta admit those wannabe doms are so cute(!)... those that go all "Raaargh! It shalt call me Master (with a captial M) and LICK MY BOOT!". Just makes you want to pat their head , grab a bowl of popcorn and lean back to watch them tie their own 2-inch willies in a knot, doesn't it?
Anyone that that has to claim they are dominant are not.
/S
Subspace...arsenicCatnip said:
It's the place where you don't need to worry about any rules any more. No more "good girls don't do that" crap.
It's where you can just enjoy the ride because you have been relieved of any and all responsibilites. Someone else is holding the wheel and taking you along.
It's the place where dirty words and demaning names change meaning because you are not afraid of them any more. Instead you have the perfect freedom to just enjoy the pleasure in any way you can.
It's the place where you trust deeper than you have ever before. You have put yourself totally in someone elses hands. It's scary, and it's awesome. You have given someone else the power to hurt you - terribly - and you still feel that they won't.
It's throwing yourself over a cliff with no power to help yourself... knowing someone will catch you.
/S
I like the way you think. Especially since learning how to dom is like learning anything else sexually. Wicked awkward and full of a comedy of errors at first, but you grow into it as youthful bullshit dissolves.Sayvara said:Aaaww, sympathies and hugs sweetie. What a drag.dorkette1990 said:Actually, around here, it's surprisingly hard to find a dom... I hate the point when THEY want to be tied up, because they're neutral to bondage and tired of trying to be dominant.
Then again, I'm EXTREME sub (it just makes my day being told what to do
But you gotta admit those wannabe doms are so cute(!)... those that go all "Raaargh! It shalt call me Master (with a captial M) and LICK MY BOOT!". Just makes you want to pat their head , grab a bowl of popcorn and lean back to watch them tie their own 2-inch willies in a knot, doesn't it?
Anyone that that has to claim they are dominant are not.
/S
Oh... while we're on the subject...
Recoil - Breath Control [http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/Breath+Control/aPyh3]
Depeche Mode - Puppets [http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/Puppets/2xtGVs]
Joe Cocker - You Can Leave Your Hat On [http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/You+Can+Leave+Your+Hat+On/2xz4oc]
Depece Mode - Behind the Wheel [http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/Behind+the+Wheel+L+P+mix+/1YBkYT]
/S
Recoil - Breath Control [http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/Breath+Control/aPyh3]
Depeche Mode - Puppets [http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/Puppets/2xtGVs]
Joe Cocker - You Can Leave Your Hat On [http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/You+Can+Leave+Your+Hat+On/2xz4oc]
Depece Mode - Behind the Wheel [http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/Behind+the+Wheel+L+P+mix+/1YBkYT]
/S
All sex is like that, wouldn't you say? It's learning how people think and react. It's what makes it so facinating to watch and experience. And befor eyou get a sense of that... it's going to be full of mistakes and that cute... well... innosense and enthusiasm.SimuLord said:
Then of course there will always be n00bs. We're all newbies to start with. Some never learn though... dropping from newbie (i.e. someone learnable) to n00bs... hopelessly lost.
/S
I'll drink to that. For both genders. (though admittedly the only feedback I've had on male performance besides my own has been girls telling me horror stories.)Sayvara said:All sex is like that, wouldn't you say? It's learning how people think and react. It's what makes it so facinating to watch and experience. And befor eyou get a sense of that... it's going to be full of mistakes and that cute... well... innosense and enthusiasm.SimuLord said:
Then of course there will always be n00bs. We're all newbies to start with. Some never learn though... dropping from newbie (i.e. someone learnable) to n00bs... hopelessly lost.
/S
No matter how much experience one gets in life, there is always something to learn (which is true of...well, just about everything.)
I don't think I'll ever try it. I don't care for the total control over another person, and if I were to be the one submitting I might snap and... well lets just say that I would not handle it well. I hate being bound by anything (anything physical, that is) and the thought of being handcuffed or tied up or whatever is exactly the opposite of what I find appealing.
I'm not really into bondage. I mean I've messed about with handcuffs, but it doesn't hold my interest. I prefer both parties to be fully engaged.
People seem to think that the bonded one in an S&M relationship is, for want of a better word, the victim - they they are giving up their liberty to another person who will uh... use them, I guess.
I think the key here is that the submissive is giving up their power, they're handing the reins over to the dominant, and in doing so they become the centre of attention. They're making themselves available and playing a role. The dominant is the one who has to do the hard work, finding ways to please the submissive, generally based on a predetermined list of fetishes and limits.
They're exercising control and that's what gets them off. But the submissive is granting that control to them, and that's where the real power is.
People seem to think that the bonded one in an S&M relationship is, for want of a better word, the victim - they they are giving up their liberty to another person who will uh... use them, I guess.
I think the key here is that the submissive is giving up their power, they're handing the reins over to the dominant, and in doing so they become the centre of attention. They're making themselves available and playing a role. The dominant is the one who has to do the hard work, finding ways to please the submissive, generally based on a predetermined list of fetishes and limits.
They're exercising control and that's what gets them off. But the submissive is granting that control to them, and that's where the real power is.
It's also a state of mind that leads to the novice dom making a humorous rookie mistake, breaking character to ask "are you OK? I didn't hurt you, did I?" the first time his first sub reached that point. You know that screeching-record "halt" sound effect that's used in comedy? Yeah, you could practically hear that sound when character got broken.arsenicCatnip said:
That is the most beautiful way I've ever heard it described. Bravo.Sayvara said:
Ha ha! Oh, I know that feeling too well.SimuLord said:It's also a state of mind that leads to the novice dom making a humorous rookie mistake, breaking character to ask "are you OK? I didn't hurt you, did I?" the first time his first sub reached that point. You know that screeching-record "halt" sound effect that's used in comedy? Yeah, you could practically hear that sound when character got broken.
I actually am working on forming a stage show with several lovely assistants, each with a basket with a price tag on it and various weapons. The audience pays the amount on the basket and that lovely assistant then wails on me with her weapon for about half a minute. I figure it'd be a pretty lucrative and fun side job. We could get hired out to private parties, charities, concerts, conventions, and burlesque shows.
The worst part: "What do you want me to do?"Sayvara said:Aaaww, sympathies and hugs sweetie. What a drag.dorkette1990 said:Actually, around here, it's surprisingly hard to find a dom... I hate the point when THEY want to be tied up, because they're neutral to bondage and tired of trying to be dominant.
Then again, I'm EXTREME sub (it just makes my day being told what to do
But you gotta admit those wannabe doms are so cute(!)... those that go all "Raaargh! It shalt call me Master (with a captial M) and LICK MY BOOT!". Just makes you want to pat their head , grab a bowl of popcorn and lean back to watch them tie their own 2-inch willies in a knot, doesn't it?
Anyone that that has to claim they are dominant are not.
/S
Me: *blinkglare* ".... really? I'm gonna go play a game. Come get me when figure out how to tell me what you want."