Poll: Can you hate gay culture and not be homophobic?

[Baneat]

I get your point, but hate is a very strong word. If your feelings are strong enough to define as "Hate", then you probably have to be homophobic.

 

[Qitz]

-snip-

What are you talking about? It seems like you had a point in there but it got lost in the million other things you were trying to talk about.

If you meant that only Gays are looked at when self loathing is discussed, your wrong. There are tons of topics brought up about how straight people who do typical guy / girl things suck. There's always threads about the "friendzone" for example. Same with the whole "Bro" / overly masculine mentality.

If you were talking about how Gay people get the short end of the stick for doing something that can be seen as in their culture. Well, you right there. That doesn't automatically make them Homophobic though. Not liking someone running around you screaming "Look at me! I'm Gay! Accept it now!" isn't being Homophobic, it's being annoyed. Beating that guy up because he said he was Gay, now that is Homophobic.

Not saying there aren't people who will hate all of Gay culture because it's Gay culture because there are.

Also, not tolerating something isn't the same as being discriminatory against someone. Just because you don't tolerate wearing a Yamaka, doesn't mean your anti-semetic.

 

[girzwald]

I'd say that "hating it" would be going a bit too far... But I don't think anyone should have to like it. I mean, I'm grateful that the pride-movement exist and remind certain people that they will never be able to oppress them back in the closet, but I don't actually like the culture very much.
But honestly, not every gay person does act like advertised. The vast majority are completly "normal", which is something that often fails to be mentioned. You don't morph into a rainbow-coloured stereotype the moment you come out.

So all in all, I wouldn't say it would be homophobic in the least to dislike the culture, at least the more irritating elements of it.

Yes, you in fact can. And in fact, most people are NOT homophobic.

The whole homophobic thing is been blown WAY out of proportion. Anything and everything that does not either 100% accept or praise homosexuality is deemed "homophobic".

I don't like homosexuality, I think its wrong. HOMOPHOBE!

I think gay pride parades have turned into disgusting displays of debauchery. HOMOPHOBE.

I think 2 dudes making out in public is a disgusting and unappealing sight. HOMOPHOBE.

It's all just political correctness and therefor bullying into accepting a lifestyle that most people don't approve of. They don't want tolerance. They already have that. No, they want acceptance. And bullying people into acceptance, when they already tolerate......only pushes more people away.

Perhaps. But I can't really see what it is that is so unthinkable to accept... Furthermore, what type of tolerance are we speaking of? "We will not outright kill and persecute you" or "We will grant you the same rights and treat you just like any regular citizens"? There is a difference there.

If I asked you a bunch of questions.......I'll bet I could find a bunch of people and lifestyles you do not accept, yet merely tolerate. And don't insult my intelligence by saying "I accept everyone". BS.

And besides marriage, which is debatable whether that's a "right" or not. Name a right gays are denied.

 

[Zerazar]

I'm not quite sure what "gay culture" is exactly, but yea I would say that I somewhat strongly dislike some of it. Not because of the male on male action, but because for some males, it turns into their whole identity. So I guess I dislike it on same level as emos whose sole identity can be described as "emo", and likewise with jocks, overachievers, feminists and so on.

Also gay people who think they're better than straight people because they completely missunderstood what gay pride was all about, but I haven't really run into many of those.

Also also, I don't like having other people's partners rubbed in my face, hetero or homo. But that's just because I'm a sad angsty teen with little success of my own.

Disclaimer: Read the OP and only skimmed the thread.

 

[Xan Krieger]

Hmm, let's apply this to a different standard. Can you hate African culture and not be racist? Yes, I don't like gangster-wannabees and rappers but I could care less about their skin.

Pretty much this as I also hate this whole gangster culture and I really don't like rap or hip-hop. I enjoy talking to my black friends about things like politics and I congratulated one who supported Obama on his 2012 victory. I don't hate the people, just the stupid shit some of them like.

 

[inquisiti0n]

I hate gays who speak with a very pronounced (and at times artificial) lisp, or any guy who goes overboard with acting effeminate (both include metrosexuals as well). And of course when I say hate, I mean it in the same context as "I hate people who spit when they talk."

I don't see it as homophobic, since I don't really make it a concious choice for these things to annoy me. If anything, it's homophobic to suggest that all or even most gays talk with a lisp while displaying overly effeminate gestures.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Of course.

I've been viciously attacked by an anti-straight... yes, those exist. She spewed some dumbness and slapped me (because I'm straight and obviously deserve to be slapped), then knocked off back to her "OMG GAIZ" group she was hanging out with, who were planning their next gay rights rally, who applauded her work. My crime? ...Couldn't tell ya. I was sitting in a corner with a book.

I don't care who you want to sleep with. But it certainly made me pissed beyond all fury at "gay culture" for a bit there.

Goddammit, I would have slapped her right back. Nice control there.

OT: Excessive pride of anything can get incredibly annoying fast. Tolerance of a group can be stretched only so far before you have to say "Back the fuck off, I get it. You're _________." Generally however you don't have to deal with people who act that way. At least that's been my experience.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Wow. Some serious, serious lack of self awareness going down in this thread.

"Me? Have a problem with Black people? I have no issue with them. As long as they don't go acting all Black up in my face. I can't stand that shit."

Hey guys, if you "don't have a problem with gay people", right up to the point where you're confronted by evidence of them behaving "gay", then I have news for you...you are, in fact, homophobic. If that bothers you, you might want to work on that. Watching everyone go through contortions trying to justify their prejudices is just...it's embarrassing, really. So you've discovered an uncomfortable truth about yourself. So you're a bit of a bigot. SO WHAT. JUST OWN UP TO IT ALREADY.

The most amusing part of all of this is I bet almost every one one of you would self-identify as a non-conformist, yet the moment someone fails to properly conform with gender prescribed behavior (That man is LISPING! That woman is BUTCH! That man is wearing a DRESS!), you lose your shit. You know that big, silent, dopey majority? The hive mind you're always making fun of? That reacts without thinking and is constantly cramping your rampant individualistic flair? Well, you're part of it. Congratulations.

 

[Char-Nobyl]

Well, can you? I know a few gay people, and I've called some of them my friends but never someone who makes 'I'm gay' a major part of their identity. By major part, I mean someone who flaunts it at any opportunity. I realize that it's part of the whole 'we're here, we're queer' thing, but I still think it's obnoxious to flaunt your sexuality (no matter what it is) because it's obviously going to make some people uncomfortable (again, no matter what you like to hump). So, are people who like me who don't automatically hate gay people for being gay but don't like the 'in your face' attitude surrounding a large part of that culture homophobic? Or is it acceptable to draw that distinction?

EDIT: OMNOMNOMNOM *bits of my poll go flying everywhere*

Nah, you're fine. Frankly, your sexuality shouldn't be a huge part of your personality, at least no more so than is usually regarded as socially acceptable. The same situational views that I hold for discussions of heterosexual relations I hold for homosexual ones. Want to talk about trouble with your significant other? No problem. If it's a friend talking, I'll listen and do what I can to help. Want to come into my workplace and loudly discuss your sex life? I'll be pissed off regardless of your orientation.

If someone is constantly banging on about a trait they have that A) is genetic and B) you've long since acknowledged as...well, existing, it's going to be annoying to the listener. It's a degree below someone who can only talk about one hobby or topic: the conversations will get old, fast, and you can never talk to them about anything else.

 

[Elate]

Hey, I'm a dude who likes dudes and I have no problem with that providing they like stuff I do, like video games, comics, sports, tv, shit like that. I hate the other type of flaunting gay the same way I hate it in hyperactive girls.

Yeah pretty much this. I'm a gay guy, fairly effeminate at that, but every time I see an overly 'camp' person I have an unyielding urge to kerb stomp them. My reasons may be a bit different but they are as follows:

-It gives people the wrong idea, I have had several people say to me "well you can't be gay, you don't act it" or "sound it"
-It just all screams of a fake act, a persona that is switched on and off.

As a few people have said, it's the same with anything, people going over the top and being all in your face about it. The same applies to overly religious people, overly girly girls, overly macho man.

-snip-

There is no way to "act" gay, your argument is completely invalid.

 

[Muspelheim]

I'd say that "hating it" would be going a bit too far... But I don't think anyone should have to like it. I mean, I'm grateful that the pride-movement exist and remind certain people that they will never be able to oppress them back in the closet, but I don't actually like the culture very much.
But honestly, not every gay person does act like advertised. The vast majority are completly "normal", which is something that often fails to be mentioned. You don't morph into a rainbow-coloured stereotype the moment you come out.

So all in all, I wouldn't say it would be homophobic in the least to dislike the culture, at least the more irritating elements of it.

Yes, you in fact can. And in fact, most people are NOT homophobic.

The whole homophobic thing is been blown WAY out of proportion. Anything and everything that does not either 100% accept or praise homosexuality is deemed "homophobic".

I don't like homosexuality, I think its wrong. HOMOPHOBE!

I think gay pride parades have turned into disgusting displays of debauchery. HOMOPHOBE.

I think 2 dudes making out in public is a disgusting and unappealing sight. HOMOPHOBE.

It's all just political correctness and therefor bullying into accepting a lifestyle that most people don't approve of. They don't want tolerance. They already have that. No, they want acceptance. And bullying people into acceptance, when they already tolerate......only pushes more people away.

Perhaps. But I can't really see what it is that is so unthinkable to accept... Furthermore, what type of tolerance are we speaking of? "We will not outright kill and persecute you" or "We will grant you the same rights and treat you just like any regular citizens"? There is a difference there.

If I asked you a bunch of questions.......I'll bet I could find a bunch of people and lifestyles you do not accept, yet merely tolerate. And don't insult my intelligence by saying "I accept everyone". BS.

And besides marriage, which is debatable whether that's a "right" or not. Name a right gays are denied.

Certainly. Quite a few, and I can't remember saying that I accept everyone, myself. But I do tend to base what I accept and what I don't on merit beyond tradition or an initial sense of unease.

And to name one right that is often denied in several countries is the right to exist as a homosexual, where that is punishable with fines, prisontime or the death penalty in the more extreme cases.

Of course, that is (not anymore) not the case in most Western nations. But still, in many nations (and states, in the case of the U.S.) it is not possible to have a recognized relationship if it's same-sex. Now, this is not marriage, as I'm barred from taking that up.
And then, there is the question of adoption. Apparently, it makes all the difference in the world if a couple who wishes to adobt a child happen to be of the same sex.
And additionally, many countries don't have legislation against discrimination based on sexual orientation.

And that is the legal side of the matter. The fact remain that pressure is constantly put to revoke the rights that have already been secured, to say nothing of increasing them. And then, there is the simple issue that you can be beaten down (and possibly murdered) by a complete stranger because of your orientation.

 

[darkcalling]

I honestly haven't known many gay people in real life (though quite a few in second life back in the day). I only get uncomfortable when one of them either hits on me or when he starts acting like Jack from Will and Grace. lol

My brother's gay best friend actually slaps himself if he catches himself doing the stereotypical "San Francisco gay" accent.

Also: Pride parades. I see pictures of people being THAT over the top about it and even I hate you for a minute. I just don't get it.

 

[Luciella]

I would say yes.

To me gays in general wierd me out, simply because i cant fandom the idea of liking someone or getting turned on someone of my own gender.
Yet i do have gay friends, mostly guy gay friends since they are the easiest to relate to as a girl. Lesbians? no thank you the very few i knew and tried to be friends with, made a move on me with an audacity of touch that earn them a good slap.

I personaly too dislike the gay hollywood type, or more like gay scenes in a movie or show that i like just to be in -the mainstream- i feel its like media tieing me up and make me eat it even if i happen to not like it, or in general be disgusted to look at it.

What i can be and not be happy with in general:
Cheerful gays? yeah why not they are funny ppl to be around.
Dressed up gays? no thank you whatever gender they are and like.
Trans? hell no the notion just disgusts me
Guys that only talk about sex with girls or sex in general all day long? No ty they have a big mental issue.
Guys or girls that cant shut up about tv and showbiz all day long? they annoy me after the first 3 hrs of straight chattering w/o any change of subject.
Ppl that put Jesus even in their soup? annoying.
Do i feel like i should punch their faces? not really its their life after all, but ill try to over all avoid the company of ppl i dont happen i can relate to, gay or straight.

The point is, all extremes are bad whatever they are; just like too thin, too fat is bad and not only socially but for your health.

Yet what annoys me the most about gay culture is that whatever opinion i have its disregarded as narrow minded or homophobe.

I mean, arent the gays that say that themselves as that? narrow minded? I mean they expect us to accept them by-default but they cant accept the rest of the ppl who have a different but not discriminative opinion.


sigh anyway just a thot.

 

[spielburg]

Yes you can, hating the gay "culture" (RAINBOWS!! UNICORNS!! SCARFS!!) is different from hating the fact that a man loves another man.

Hope I didn't offend anyone with my impression of gay culture but that's the way I see it. Please prove me wrong if you think you can.

 

[Yopaz]

A lot of you claim you "don't flaunt" your sexuality. I'll tell you, unless you actively closet yourself (by never being seen with your partners in public, by never describing someone as your wife or girlfriend, by never talking about your children. In short, by deliberately hiding your romantic or personal life altogether, and even then you're not really closeting because no-one will ever assume you're gay without evidence) then you are "flaunting" your sexuality. The reason you don't see yourself as taking part in a "culture" is because that culture is the one we all live in, it's mainstream mass culture.

Exactly. Few people seem to complain about the constant, unrelenting barrage of heterosexuality our culture throws at us, because it's constant and unrelenting enough to be considered normal.

The reason we don't complain about the straight culture is that there are no parades where straight people show their pride in sexuality. There are more parades to celebrate homosexuals than there are to celebrate war veterans. Even being against war I think that's messed up.
I also find it annoying when straight people feel like they have to mention their straight in every sentence or make their life all about their sexuality. Really, I don't care if someone is gay or straight as long as they're able to shut up about it for 5 minutes.

First of all Gay Pride Parades are not for you, just like the Saint Patrick's Day Parade is not for you if you dont like Irish people flaunting their Irishness and God Damn them ALL for dragging sexuality into it with their "Kiss me I'm Irish" T-shirts...

Gay pride parades are for the gays and their allies that are in the city hosting the parade. There are a lot of cities, so there are a lot of parades. I am pretty sure that there are a lot of Vetrans parades in various cities around the world. In America I would suspect most of them would take place durring the 4th of July, Memorial Day, and Vetrans Day. I supsect you are ignorant of all these Vetrans Day parades becuase seriously for what reason would a Vetran's Day Parade taking place in Idontknowherethatis, Arkansas be news to you?

And where do you get off pretending you are the authority over whether or not a pride parade is only about sexuality? Have you ever been to a pride parade? There is some sexualty but that is not the only theme. A pride parade will have some men in skimpy outfits, sure. In high school I was a member of the marching band, and I remember being in several parades that had girls in skimpy outfits (cheerleaders and dance crews). OMG THOSE PARADES WERE FLAUNTING SEXUALITY!!! OF TEENAGERS!!! PUBLIC SCHOOLS FLAUNT THE SEXUALITY OF TEENAGERS! THOSE PEDOPHILES!

Do you see how this can get silly really quick. Open your eyes, and your mind, if not today then maybe someday you'll be able to see the bigger picture.

Sure, Veterans day is all about veterans. 4th of July is all about celebrating the end of historical oppression, victories, independence so those who have helped protect that takes part in it. Remember, it's Veteran's day, not week, not month. There's one day where they are remembered and shown respect by anyone who doesn't know them. I think that's the least they deserve after risking their lives to serve their country.
4th of July is about flaunting American values. Everything that is a source of national pride gets celebrated. It's not about flaunting a sexuality!
I am sure that when you played in the marching band and their were cheerleaders dancing around they were not flaunting a heterosexual lifestyle? In any case if they were I would say that's pretty obnoxious.
Yeah, I am aware of the fact that pride parades are about protesting to increase the rights of homosexuals, but claiming that this has little to do with their sexuality is stupid.

Now if you read my entire post rather than the start of it you will notice that I said something about straight people flaunting their sexuality... A little part where I said that's annoying too? I must ask you here. Have you ever seen a straight pride parade? If you haven't then my point is proven.

 

[guitarsniper]

For me at least, Camp Gay is partially an entertainment thing. I have absolutely no problem with people acting over-the-top gay, but it's the kind of thing where even when it is part of your identity, a big part, it's still a question of situational appropriateness. For example, if i'm a gigantic metalhead, i'm still not going to wear my skull jewelery and leather and stuff when i work customer service at best buy. why? because i'm an employee, there's an acceptable uniform, and it's my obligation to make people feel comfortable in my store. Camp-style gay can be fucking HILARIOUS, especially stuff like intentionally poorly-done performance drag, but like many other lifestyles that have very obvious visual or behavioral markers, there's generally times and places where it isn't appropriate.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Yet what annoys me the most about gay culture is that whatever opinion i have its disregarded as narrow minded or homophobe.

I mean, arent the gays that say that themselves as that? narrow minded? I mean they expect us to accept them by-default but they cant accept the rest of the ppl who have a different but not discriminative opinion.

Did it occur to you that the reason people keep disregarding your opinions as narrow minded and homophobic is because they are?

Where there's smoke, there's fire, guy. I don't know really know you, but after reading your little spiel I'm 99.9% convinced you're a pretty hardcore homophobe. You can be what you want to be, but you should probably work on being honest with yourself about it.