Poll: Casual Sex, Feminism, and You!

[OmniscientOstrich]

Oddly enough gay men are usually in the "slut" category, too.

I actually have a straight male friend who I call a slut, though more in a term of endearment/friendly ribbing kind of way. I think it's generally a word that gets thrown around pretty casually.

That's because it takes serious skill for men to pick up women. It's an art form.

XD Oh dear lord, how I lol'd at the use of the term 'art form' to describe it.

 

[Biodeamon]

oh bloody hell....when you enter conversations about feminism you enter a whole entire world of hurt...

I do support it but i don't think it objectifies anybody. it's sex for god's sake, not pr0n. you could easily say that it also objectifies men too, since sex involves a male counterpart too not just a female.

 

[DevilWithaHalo]

Let me first start off by saying that I'm by all means a feminist because, by definition, I support equality for women and don't buy in to the thinly-veiled "alpha male beta male" bullshit made up by people who think using first-year biology terms will make their thoughts on genetic superiority any less subjective.

I'm not a feminist and I don't believe in equality. Several thousand years of evolution and we're still playing gender wars. It will be a few thousand years in the future and the same bullshit positions will be held by both sides. But this discussion is for another time...

Why is it that sex without any intention of romantic relationship seen by society as such a male, chauvinistic thing?

Because that's how our biological functions evolved through society? Any perceived "abusive" position is almost always seen as a male trait. Sucks don't it?

No one proclaims superiority over another gender.

Haven't had many discussions with gender issues have you?

Self-indulgence in anything else is seen with less disgust. People eat tons of food all the time. A lot of people sit on their ass and watch TV all day sometimes. But the moment you make the claim that someone has lots of sex, they're pigs that see women as nothing more than something to fuck.

What? Lazy fat asses are seen with disgust. Are you telling me you don't get a little queezy when you see a fat person down a twinky?

---
Bottom line for me, it's the intentions and reasons behind the act that make the difference. If you're having sex because you "have needs", you're no better than another person that wants to get their "rocks off". You're specifically using another person for pleasure. Now that's not to say you're a bad person or in the wrong by doing this; but don't pretend some veiled superiority to convince yourself you're any better than the next person. What you do with another willing person is between you two... and anyone else you want involved.

And of course, people are free to judge you however they wish, because you do the same toward others, haza!

 

[spartan231490]

I don't believe in casual sex. You can't divorce sex from emotional attachment, not entirely. Casual sex is idiotic, it never works, and it's a pointless rebellion against commitment. That said, it doesn't objectify women, at least no more than it objectifies men. It is a situation where both parties treat the other as sex objects, so how can it objectify one gender more than the other? that's a logical fallacy without any reasoned evidence.

 

[TheLoneBeet]

I think it goes both ways as far as objectifying people. I've met girls who enjoyed casual sex and objectified men for it, I've met men who did the same towards women. I've known men who objectified men and women who've objectified women. It's not limited by sexual orientation and it's definitely not just men who do this. Some people just enjoy casual sex regardless of their sexuality. It's not a big deal. If you're stupid enough to sleep with somebody as soon as you meet them don't be surprised when they tell you they're not in love. If you feel objectified because a guy at a bar didn't say he loved you the next morning and instead was asking you to GTFO then that's your own fault. Same goes for guys. Same goes for homosexuals. You have nobody to blame but yourself for walking into that. It's happened to me before, I felt used and cheap, but mostly I felt stupid for not realizing all the things I just said earlier in this post.

 

[6_Qubed]

This whole argument is academic for me, because while I have no qualms against casual sex, I tend to not find myself in the situations that facilitate it. Which, I suppose, means that I've failed as an Alpha Male Chauvinist Pig Stud or whatever the fuck category I'm apparently supposed to fit into because some feminist said I do, so some other enterprising soul will have to take up the onus of sexing up all the Slut Whore Et Cetera Et Ceteras who some feminist told us are the only ones who would consider doing such a thing.

Though for practical reasons, I would prefer a partner (female, in case you hadn't guessed,) who actually knew what she was doing, so that at least one of us would. I can't even claim virgin ignorance on this one, but one partner does not a Casanova make. In short, I don't want a girl who "saved herself", I want one that practiced.

 

[MorgulMan]

Of course it objectifies women. But it's an equal opportunity objectifier, since it does the same for men. The sex partner becomes a vehicle for enjoyment and self-indulgence. No need to form the ties and commitments necessary to raise the baby that is the natural end of the act. Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.

 

[Nimcha]

As a woman who has enjoyed casual sex with other women, there's not really an option for me to pick.

 

[PatSilverFox]

This argument is ridiculous. Why can't you just say that anyone who supports casual sex is 'objectified' and whoever whoever doesn't is not.
Simple.

Bringing women in doesn't affect anything.

 

[RobCoxxy]

Half the time they're after me. And half of that time they're using me because I'm *ahem* a "cunning linguist" and I get the job done.

Then I get ditched, having served my purpose.

 

[Varrdy]

I fully support casual sex, simply because it would be hypocritical to say otherwise. How can something "objectify" women if it's as much her choice as his? I've had several casual partners and also friends with benefits. Nobody felt "dirty", "used", "cheated" etc. afterwards and, although I don't have sex with all but one of the girls I've had "casual" sex with, I am still friends with most of them and there's no fallout at all.

That's just me though and I know for a fact that casual sex can also have ill consequences but that's down to the individuals concerned, not the entire notion of casual sex.

Wardy

 

[Pyramid Head]

No more so than it objectifies the worthless penis owners.
...oh wait, i'm one of them. Oh well. No, i don't think it objectifies women. Bare in mind that while some feminists make good points, there are a few feminists who are, for lack of a better term, fucking idiotic. For people who use biological terms you'd think they'd remember the whole "Two wrongs don't make a right" deal they taught you in kindergarten. Casual sex is just a more risky yet fun variety of hugging where clothing is optional.

 

[BabySinclair]

Quick little poem I wrote in 10th grade (I didn't share it)

When it comes down to sex,
And those striving for more.
A man is called "Player"
And a woman a "Whore"

Commentary, not my views. Sex is sex, though society doesn't view it as such since Western society places a higher value of female... purity is the word I'm looking for but it's close. Women birth kids so they couldn't go around risking unnecessary kids way back in the day and it still lingers today.

 

[Gamer_152]

I could go on for a while about objectification but my bottom line on it is basically no, an entire gender is not objectified by the fact that some individuals within it choose to have frequent casual sex.

Society has a lot of problems with sex and one of them lies in the fact that while males who participate in frequent casual sex are congratulated with a hearty slap on the back for their great conquest, females are given a variety of demeaning labels, such as "slut", "easy", and "whore". I think this is partly due to an attitude which has its origins in religion which a certain majority of society now just follows mindlessly without thinking about it, but it also exists because for some people sex is a very important personal and romantic interaction and they try to justify the worth they put into sex but projecting their beliefs onto others.

Now, of course people should always practise sex in a way that keeps them free from STDs and STIs, and there are often some difficult emotional issues wrapped up in casual sex, like what happens when one or both participants develops feelings beyond sexual attraction for the other, but these are almost entirely the concerns of the people involved in the sex itself. Society has no right to degrade people for what they do with their own sexual organs in the privacy of their homes.

 

[WoodenPlanck]

I see many false correlations being made here, and plenty of straw-man arguments being knocked down, or invisible/unacknowledged audiences/stances: these are counter-productive to real discussion. The main question is what this community thinks about the issue. Not to draw a bunch of notes out of the hat of generalizations, and espouse hypothetical viewpoints of people that are currently not involved in this thread. I also find it silly that on the one hand people may want to look at the evolutionary psychology angle to inform their opinion, then completely neglect it when looking to explain the source of peoples'/cultures' perception of this topic.

I support it and I think it objectifies women.

It also objectifies me.

-snip-

Of course it objectifies women. But it's an equal opportunity objectifier, since it does the same for men. The sex partner becomes a vehicle for enjoyment and self-indulgence. -snip-

I have to agree with this dissenting opinion. Casual sex is inherently objectifying of both parties; while one may not always objectify men/women, when seeking to engage in casual sex one is actively objectifying the other person. So this isn't an exclusively feminist issue.

MorgulMan has expressed a very potent idea: this topic is primarily about self-indulgence. It is all about the "Me" that everyone is reinforcing. This is the main thing I take issue with. Certainly go and pursue happiness. But at some point the affects of this intense selfishness undermines the efficacy of a society. Please note, I said efficacy: society can still function successfully, it just wouldn't get as much accomplished.

Personally the only benefits that very self-oriented feminists have offered society have been an easy topic to get an 'A' on an essay with.

 

[orangeban]

Ever heard of the word slut?
Men are pigs
Women are sluts
Thats basically the bad words.
Casual sex is casual sex. Men do it. Women do it. As long as both people know its casual sex, there is no issue.

Though I think the depressing truth is it's much more; Women are sluts, men are "players".

 

[Korolev]

There ain't nothing wrong with casual sex as long as BOTH know it's just casual sex. I am a humanist - I support the right for all humans to have the same rights. Feminism is a branch of humanism, so I am a feminist by default due to my being a humanist.

Real feminists support the right for a woman to live her life the way she wants to, provided it breaks no real laws. If a woman wants to have casual sex, so be it. That's her decision. And there are women who want casual sex. Probably not as many as men, but there are definitely some. If a man looking for casual sex meets a woman looking for casual sex, and they both know that it's just casual sex, then neither of them have committed a crime.

It's when men pretend to love a woman for casual sex, that problems arise. If you aren't willing to really invest in a relationship, you should be honest and say that. To fool a woman into having sex with you, by pretending to love her, is a jerk thing to do. Not something to put someone in jail over, but a pretty nasty thing to do regardless.

Now, I have to clarify something: I am, personally, a prude. I am as frigid a male as you can get. If I wasn't an atheist, I'd make an excellent priest. I do not, nor will I ever, engage in casual sex. But I don't judge others who do.

Let me ask you something: If two consenting adults have casual sex, what does it matter to you? How does it harm you? You can claim that it harms those involved, but there's no way to prove that. You can claim that it's a "sin", but even if you think it is, why not leave it to your God to settle? If they have contraceptives and protection, the risk of pregnancy is negligible. If they inform each other of any STDs, then again, there's no problem.

So while I wouldn't ever have casual sex (or, going by the way my life runs, and my basic personality, any type of sex, ever), I don't see why we should judge others who do. As long as sex is done by CONSENTING, MENTALLY SOUND ADULTS, what's the harm? Who are we to stand in the way? Sex with minors is evil, because they can't consent (they don't have the proper maturity to make those decisions). Sex with animals is evil, because, again, they can't consent. Sex with the mentally disabled can be evil (not always, but often is) because the mentally disabled person might not have the ability to understand what sex is, especially if they are severely disabled.

But consensual sex between two adults? I can't see any non-religious problem, provided that they are honest about any STDs they have.

I don't get the so-called Feminists who object to women having casual sex. Are you saying that you have the right to tell them what to do? That you know better than them? That is extremely insulting. You're basically saying "You're too stupid to know men are taking advantage of you!". I don't underestimate the intelligence of women. I'm not arrogant enough to proclaim that I alone know the way they should live, and many of these Sex-Negative Feminists are the preachy, in-your-face, I-Know-What's-Best-For-You types of moralizing jerks who are no less controlling than sexist men.

Feminism, as I understand it, is about giving women CHOICE. It's not about telling them how to live. It's not about trying to "show them the way!". It's about giving them the legal rights, the respect and the independence to live their life the way THEY WANT TO. Will that mean they make mistakes? Yes! That's part of life! We all make mistakes! You can argue that a life filled with casual sex is a mistake, that it will harm them later on. I disagree, but you can make that claim. However, at the very least, you should give them the right to make that "Mistake".

If you are a feminist, or a humanist, or anyone who wants equal rights and respect for all, you should at least be able to respect the intelligence of those who choose to live their life differently than how you would, and not be so arrogant to assume that you need to "enlighten" them on the "Proper" way to live, as if you have any right to do so.

If a woman wants to have casual, consensual sex with a man who also wants casual, consensual sex - SO BE IT! I don't care! And you shouldn't either! And if you think consensual sex makes your God cry, then let God take care of it.

 

[Phisi]

Here is my opinion on the matter: Do whatever the hell you want as long as it doesn't affect others. Actually, that is my opinion for quite a lot of things. Casual sex is, I'd say healthy most of the time except for those that have it do to low self esteem or similar reasons. As to whether it objectifies women?, that is very much in the eyes of society or more to the point, certain people in society. Remember that us escapees are a tiny portion and that the poll is probably pointless in that regard. But on a similar note; I find feminism strange. I support gender equality and all other values that appear under the Wikipedia heading, but I don't support equal Men/Women in certain industries or schools or Uni courses as I find it sexist. The point I'm trying to make here is that I find it unfair that someone could get into job/school/course, even if I beat said person in credentials or marks, because they are female.
They are my thoughts on casual sex and feminism.

 

[Emilyx382]

- Please delete, wrong post -