Poll: Did your parents hit you?
- Thread starter Blindswordmaster
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Well... Originally i wrote about two pages of stuff. I decided to condense it a bit.
Physical discipline does not equal Physical abuse.
From ages 4-10 i was spanked. 10-16 i was open hand slapped.
I will not "resent my parents to the day i die"
I was never afraid of my dad. I never feared being home because of my parents. The only time i was afraid of home was because of my brother. That is a story for another time though.
I did not fear punishment. Punishment is just something i knew would happen if i did something wrong. i wasn't afraid of it, i just didn't like it.
I do not use violence to solve problems. I have a very sharp tongue that i use to work through my issues with people i do not like.
I didn't "rebel". I never used drugs, i never drank alcohol underage with the exception of a glass of wine with my family on Christmas/ thanksgiving.
My parents talked to me. They reserved physical discipline for when i was being disrespectful. I'm talking about swearing at them in anger, stealing, lying.
Did the act of hitting me make me a better person? No. Was it damaging? No.
What made me a better person then? My parents being true to there morale's. My parents talking to me about things. My parents willing to hear me out. My parents did not hit me in anger. They did not hit me to relieve stress. My parents never hit me more then once. My parents never harmed me.
Striking a child when they do soemthing bad creates an association. Like what has been mentioned about two thousand times with the hot stove.
Physical punishment is not the only form of punishment. It is something that should be kept to only sever actions. Young children should never be struck in the head either because that can cause permanent damage. Spanking is completely harmless. It hurts, it does not cause harm.
Discipline and abuse. There is a line. People need to learn to recognize it. Both sides.
Physical discipline does not equal Physical abuse.
From ages 4-10 i was spanked. 10-16 i was open hand slapped.
I will not "resent my parents to the day i die"
I was never afraid of my dad. I never feared being home because of my parents. The only time i was afraid of home was because of my brother. That is a story for another time though.
I did not fear punishment. Punishment is just something i knew would happen if i did something wrong. i wasn't afraid of it, i just didn't like it.
I do not use violence to solve problems. I have a very sharp tongue that i use to work through my issues with people i do not like.
I didn't "rebel". I never used drugs, i never drank alcohol underage with the exception of a glass of wine with my family on Christmas/ thanksgiving.
My parents talked to me. They reserved physical discipline for when i was being disrespectful. I'm talking about swearing at them in anger, stealing, lying.
Did the act of hitting me make me a better person? No. Was it damaging? No.
What made me a better person then? My parents being true to there morale's. My parents talking to me about things. My parents willing to hear me out. My parents did not hit me in anger. They did not hit me to relieve stress. My parents never hit me more then once. My parents never harmed me.
Striking a child when they do soemthing bad creates an association. Like what has been mentioned about two thousand times with the hot stove.
Physical punishment is not the only form of punishment. It is something that should be kept to only sever actions. Young children should never be struck in the head either because that can cause permanent damage. Spanking is completely harmless. It hurts, it does not cause harm.
Discipline and abuse. There is a line. People need to learn to recognize it. Both sides.
I got a clip round the ear a few times as a kid. Thats nothing on my nan though. She used to hit my mum and uncle with a wooden spoon if they played up.
TBH I think its a good thing. Teaches kids to respect authority.
TBH I think its a good thing. Teaches kids to respect authority.
i got spanked, an turned out ok, probly cause of it.
part of the problem these days really, disaplin seems to not be on the 'todo' list so much any more for parents, or the things they use don't work
part of the problem these days really, disaplin seems to not be on the 'todo' list so much any more for parents, or the things they use don't work
I was spanked and lashed with a belt (occasionally the buckle end). I'm grateful for the opportunity of having that sort of punishment administered on a somewhat regular basis (I was a bit of a brat...) so that corporal punishment and reprimand in the big world don't affect me nearly as much. I take a lashing and go on with my day.
My parents mixed it up. If it was something that warranted a spanking, I had to "Go get the Spoon". Which was a large wooden cooking utensil that lived in a jar on top of the fridge an had no other purpose thatn just sitting up there, gloating at me, daring me to screw up. After fetching the Spoon, we would have "The Talk" about what I had done wrong and why it was wrong. Then I got three whacks and had to put the fucking thing away. I can count of the fingers of both hands how many time I had to go through that before I got tired of it and quit screwing around when I was a kid (granted it uses nearly all my fingers). Naturally, and hiding of the Spoon or cliaming I couldn't find it only exacerbated the consequences.
If I ever spawn offspring, I plan on using a smililar method. The combination of fetching your Device Of Pain gives the subject time to consider what was done wrong, "The Talk" clarifies and clears any doubts the subject had, and if done properly, can cause the subject to think they may get off with just The Talk", while several firm and suitably painful whacks of the Device Of Pain drive the point home and the returning of the Device Of Pain gives mandatory time for reflection on what could have been done to avoid the whole situation.
A rather clever mixture of corporeal and mental punishment, if you ask me, all allowing for further growth of the subject.
If I ever spawn offspring, I plan on using a smililar method. The combination of fetching your Device Of Pain gives the subject time to consider what was done wrong, "The Talk" clarifies and clears any doubts the subject had, and if done properly, can cause the subject to think they may get off with just The Talk", while several firm and suitably painful whacks of the Device Of Pain drive the point home and the returning of the Device Of Pain gives mandatory time for reflection on what could have been done to avoid the whole situation.
A rather clever mixture of corporeal and mental punishment, if you ask me, all allowing for further growth of the subject.
Very rarely, and only brief spankings, nothing serious. After about three times, when I was around four, I learned to try my best to behave. They would only do it if I was consciously doing something wrong, not if I just made a mistake or lost control of myself when I was being teased. Honestly, that's probably the best way to do it. If the kid's having genuine problems beyond their control, then they don't deserve to go to school the next day with bruises, but if a kids acting out for the sake of acting out, then they deserve to be put in line.
I'm a teacher by profession. I've dealt with thousands upon thousands of students, and hundreds of parents. I am very much in favour of corporal punishment.
Whenever I've taught older teenagers, it's never been an issue. With patience and tact, you can get older kids to answer to logic. For younger kids though...
Do not bloody tell me that you've never been in a situation playing a video game and you encounter the noisy, rude, disrespectful little pissant and you wanted to reach an arm through the monitor and crack a fist into their face.
The argument that resorting to physical punishment is a sign of bad parenting is extremely flawed. If physical pain is the first thing you go to every time for most problems that would be true, but for many/most young people, especially these days, a respect for authority needs to be garnered BEFORE logic and reasoning can take firm hold.
As part of the education degree, I've sat through countless classes regarding conflict resolution, intellectual/emotional development, etc. Many of the techniques presented work minimally at best, especially with the calibre of youth who need discipline the most.
As with most things in the world, arguments founded in the extremes of a side will nearly always be wrong. Thinking a rap across the knuckles is child abuse is no less inane than thinking that daily beatings promote character growth. I get to watch, first hand, progressive generations of youth as they filter through schools with increasingly degenerating judgement, respect, and morality. This correlates perfectly with the government's mentality of giving in more and more to the thought that each child must be patted on the head and told they're special. Attitudes continually worsen, even such things as basic literacy skills falter, and teachers' authority is continually undermined.
I work in adult education now. I've been able to do so much more good here than in the youth sector - a place where if a 12 year old tells me to fuck off, the extent of my power is to give them a detention which he will not show up to, or call home to parents who 9 times out of 10 will just tell me to deal with it myself and stop bothering them.
Whenever I've taught older teenagers, it's never been an issue. With patience and tact, you can get older kids to answer to logic. For younger kids though...
Do not bloody tell me that you've never been in a situation playing a video game and you encounter the noisy, rude, disrespectful little pissant and you wanted to reach an arm through the monitor and crack a fist into their face.
The argument that resorting to physical punishment is a sign of bad parenting is extremely flawed. If physical pain is the first thing you go to every time for most problems that would be true, but for many/most young people, especially these days, a respect for authority needs to be garnered BEFORE logic and reasoning can take firm hold.
As part of the education degree, I've sat through countless classes regarding conflict resolution, intellectual/emotional development, etc. Many of the techniques presented work minimally at best, especially with the calibre of youth who need discipline the most.
As with most things in the world, arguments founded in the extremes of a side will nearly always be wrong. Thinking a rap across the knuckles is child abuse is no less inane than thinking that daily beatings promote character growth. I get to watch, first hand, progressive generations of youth as they filter through schools with increasingly degenerating judgement, respect, and morality. This correlates perfectly with the government's mentality of giving in more and more to the thought that each child must be patted on the head and told they're special. Attitudes continually worsen, even such things as basic literacy skills falter, and teachers' authority is continually undermined.
I work in adult education now. I've been able to do so much more good here than in the youth sector - a place where if a 12 year old tells me to fuck off, the extent of my power is to give them a detention which he will not show up to, or call home to parents who 9 times out of 10 will just tell me to deal with it myself and stop bothering them.
My dad is a cop and has a huge ass belt, you can probably guess where I am going with this...... but only if I did something really bad of course.
Only when I was too young to really understand words, under 4, I deserved the smack. It was just a spanking at worst though, not a damaging beating. I made me associate what I did (that was bad) with something bad, and to that effect it was justified. How are you going to teach a kid too young to understand words something is really bad without using physical means?
Edit: Thinking back, My mom has split my lip twice, and made my nose bleed, but then again we were sparring, she boxes and I deflected a few of he punches a little badly...
Edit: Thinking back, My mom has split my lip twice, and made my nose bleed, but then again we were sparring, she boxes and I deflected a few of he punches a little badly...
I'm 20 years old and lord do I know that if my mother finds out I'm doing something stupid she would not hesitate to walk up to me and slap the living snot outta me. So yes my parents hit me.
I definitely think I'm not as crazy as most people my age, because of it.
I definitely think I'm not as crazy as most people my age, because of it.
I was never spanked, but I never did anything to warrant one. The only thing that could have caused a spanking was when I broke my computer, but that was because of my brother leaving an open can of soda next to it.
Yes, rarely. My dad has a pretty short temper, and he hit me a few times. Nothing I didn't resent for more than a few days though; it was hardly level headed or warranted, but it wasn't that bad.