Poll: Did your parents hit you?
- Thread starter Blindswordmaster
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my mother is the worst human ever born... worse than hitler...
you don't curbstomp your son just 'cause you feel like it.
... i have a rather violent relationship with her...
that curbstomping thing was punished by iodized salting her drinking water.
(those things in the jerky bags saying do not eat.)
you don't curbstomp your son just 'cause you feel like it.
... i have a rather violent relationship with her...
that curbstomping thing was punished by iodized salting her drinking water.
(those things in the jerky bags saying do not eat.)
I was hit maybe four times in my life. Twice by my dad and once by my grandma. The fact is, they never had to hit me. The sheer feeling that I'd disappointed them was enough for me.
My parents refrained from hitting me except for a few times when the stress got to be too much. They tried their hardest to not parent without hitting me, although that didn't stop them from getting angry and yelling at me. Ideally, I think the best way to parent is with no violence. Getting angry and yelling at your child is stooping down to lower level, it gives the child a dramatic reaction for his bad behavior, in in a way getting angry sort of supports and condone's it.
Parenting is extremely difficult. Sure, there were plenty of times I deserved to get yelled at, and even hit
, but is that necessarily the best way to parent? When you let anger take over, it teaches the child to become angry and violent when confronted with a problem.
Overall, it's not the fact that parents beat or hit their children to punish them, because it's understandable as parenting is stressful and difficult. It's this attitude (one that's very prominent in America) that you need to hit your child in order to discipline them. Everything you can teach a child can be taught without violence.
Parenting is extremely difficult. Sure, there were plenty of times I deserved to get yelled at, and even hit
, but is that necessarily the best way to parent? When you let anger take over, it teaches the child to become angry and violent when confronted with a problem. Overall, it's not the fact that parents beat or hit their children to punish them, because it's understandable as parenting is stressful and difficult. It's this attitude (one that's very prominent in America) that you need to hit your child in order to discipline them. Everything you can teach a child can be taught without violence.
WHAHAHAHAHA... Yes.
Honestly, I think its that, and the emotional neglect for being the middle child that made me the better person that I am.
Funny story, one of my earlier memories is my mother breaking a wooden spoon over my ass....
Honestly, I think its that, and the emotional neglect for being the middle child that made me the better person that I am.
Funny story, one of my earlier memories is my mother breaking a wooden spoon over my ass....
AndyFromMonday said:
Admittedly, I have worded my argument very badly. The main reason I rarely ever post on The Escapist, or anywhere really, is because I have a hard time conveying conveying what I actually mean to say in written format. That being said, after reading over my post, I can see that I came off as a bias prick, with no evidence to back himself up. So, please allow me to clarify a few points.
Liquid Paradox said:
Liquid Paradox said:
ouch. ok. bad form. What I meant to say, was that I get pissed off specifically listening to people who go on about spanking without knowing what they are talking about; they simply jump on the "Spanking is bad" bandwagon because they are "liberal." Also, I should point out, "Conservatives" do the exact same thing, spouting off about how children need a good spanking, usually with a "My daddy kicked my ass all the time" thrown in there (and yes, this does make me seem a bit hypocritical considering my earlier post, but I'll get to that). So, it's not liberals that piss me off, and I apologize to anyone and everyone I offended by saying that.
Another bad line. Quite frankly, the "I'm in school" or "I do this for a living" argument... really isn't an argument at all. What I was trying to do was place myself on a pedestal, because that's what people do, sometimes, when their caught up in a morality debate (or any debate, for that matter). This also served a secondary purpose, however; unlike the people I spoke about above, I actually have at least some idea of what I am talking about. (that is, unlike the "bandwagon" people)Liquid Paradox said:
As for the other half of that statement, when I say "Spanking is completely within acceptable bounds" what I should have said was "Moderate, controlled spanking is completely within acceptable bounds." I certainly am not talking about beating the hell out of kids, or whipping them with rulers or belts or wooden spoons. All It should take is one or two firm whacks with your hand, open fist, on the behind. Enough to sting, but not enough to actually hurt. Parents who can't control their anger while spanking their children should not be spanking their children.
Oh, and I attend the University of Toronto, and am just finished my second year. I wasn't specific about that because I used to frequent 4chan, and as such have developed an issue with divulging any personal information what so ever. Same reason why I don't use Facebook (well, one of the reasons).
Various reasons why I was spanked, but rest assured my parents never used spanking as an end all to bad behavior. For me, spankings were usually only the result of a particularly bad tantrum.Liquid Paradox said:
Anyway, remember earlier when I said I was technically being hypocritical? Shame on me. This argument is only valid to a biased point. However, it was included because during the bias fueled, irrational rage that had me fill out my earlier post, I did still remember the whole point of the thread, which was the poll at the beginning, to which the answer was yes.
More unnecessary anger, for which I apologize. However, I wasn't kidding when I said my brother has serious problems with his attitude. Hitting, spitting, bouncing off the wall, disrupting his class, swearing (this one is new. I personally believe that there is nothing wrong with swearing, but my little brother does it BECAUSE my parents tell him not to, and that is what causes the problem), throwing killer tantrums, the whole nine yards. What's more, after my parents began implementing all kinds of new age remedies for child behavior, like changing his diet, rewarding good behavior, etc, he started acting much better at home. However... we have recently learned that this particular change in demeanor is an unexpectedly sophisticated ploy; He knows damn well that if he act's like a good boy all of a sudden, my parents will give him more goodies. Unfortunately, last week, my parents received a phone call from his school, saying that he has been even worse these past few weeks then usual. as a matter of fact, his school behavior got worse right around the time he started acting better at home, almost like he was making up for his good behavior.Liquid Paradox said:
Err... anyway, the point of this block of text is simply to point out that I am not suggesting hitting him to make him more social; just to explain that my parents have tried everything under the sun, save for a firm smack on the behind. I'm just worried that it may be too late in his development to start implementing spankings, since realistically, around 6 or so is when parents shouldn't need to spank their kinds anymore.
In conclusion, I am not trying to suggest that all children need to be spanked, nor am I trying to suggest that all spanking is good spanking. Every child is different, everyone knows this. Each child will respond differently to different types of discipline; some are more inclined to respond to a time out, while others will respond to physical punishment. There is no begin all and end all to properly raising children, despite what you might see on Super Nanny. The problem is that some people get caught up on words like "hitting" and immediately attribute those ideas to abuse. As these people become older, and more numerous, the legal line between Discipline and Abuse becomes blurry. Parents become afraid to punish their children less they face social scorn or legal reprisal. None of this is helped by cases such as the one described earlier in this thread by AndyFromMonday, where parental figures take the concept of Spanking too far, using it in every parenting situation, as an outlet for their own confused emotions. But, with a documented rise in Child Disobedience, and the understanding that not every parent is Super Nanny, we should ask our selves what is worse? Spanking our children, or coddling them when they misbehave?
Tl;Dr
Sorry for the angry post, however I am open to a civil debate.
Particularity sorry to AndyFromMonday and anyone else I may have offended.
Yes, but there are other ways to teach children that there are consequences for their actions.ben---neb said:
Threatening to take something away that they enjoy (for example their console, or the TV in their room) for a week or two if they continue, then following through with your threat if they do, is a good way of teaching them to be good. They realize that doing something wrong will result in their favorite thing being taken away, and as a result they don't do it anymore. For more disobedient children, parents can simply take more of their favorite things away and ground them and forbid them from going out (resulting in them having literally no entertainment). It quickly burns into their brain that there is cause and effect.
Don't get me wrong, some kids need a slap. My younger brother could definitely benefit from some physical punishment (especially because my parents are unwilling to use any other kind of discipline on him either.) But the average kid can be taught right and wrong in better ways, and just going straight for physical punishment without trying other methods is a sign of bad parenting. It shows they can't discipline their children mentally. It's also a little dangerous in some cases because physical punishment isn't always very precise and a mistake or a miss could result in more damage than you intended on doing.
My folks set up clear rules, and if you broke one you got a whoopin'. Full on paddlin', with a custom-made device (Dad taught wood shop in high school) that resembled a ping-pong paddle. Hurt like a *****, but we knew we earned it. I say he was right to do it. Should I some day be cursed with kids, I'll do the same to them.
I think my parents hit me maybe once ever. I don't know what I did to provoke that, but it must have been pretty serious business.
Um hell yea. This is the speech i get from my dad every couple of weeks if i go out. If i ever CATCH you drunk you don't wanna konw whats gonna happen. Needless to say he hasn't caught me yet but on occasions where i have been a bit pissed off we've fought and hes beat the shit out of me.
I only got hit one time by my dad, and that was when I was like six. And to be fair, I tried to hit him first. I was pretty stupid for doing that.
Damn straight they did. I think that's the problem today- parents seem to think that any form of physical punishment is "child abuse". No, no it isn't. Kicking the absolute crap out of you kid for no reason is child abuse. A couple whacks across the ass or the hands is not.
HINTITY HINT HINT HINT, ESCAPISTS WITH CHILDREN.
(Please don't yell for the above comment, I'm very easy tosend into a homicidal fury upset.)
HINTITY HINT HINT HINT, ESCAPISTS WITH CHILDREN.
(Please don't yell for the above comment, I'm very easy to
When I was younger, I had no empathy for other children. I just hit them and took what I wanted from them. My father used his belt to make understand both the pain I was causing and that my actions had consequences. Through him, I learned to empathize with other people. It also taught me discipline and self control. Dad always hated to spank me, he always talked with me about what I had done and why it was wrong. After my punishment, we moved on; there was no "no dinner" or no TV after I was hit. I was punished and that was it. I learned respect from my father, it was one of the best lessons he ever taught me. I want to take my father's approach with my kids one day; if I can't teach these lessons like my father did, then I won't spank my kids. Parents are a child's first role model, their actions are the first to shape their children's image of what a responsible adult is. I think he did a pretty good job.cabooze said:
-I would also like to thank everyone for participating here and adding to this discussion. I have always encouraged debate and this has been a most rewarding one. Thank you.
-Aside: You knew when you fucked up when your parent slapped their belt. Not on something, but just making that bull whip sound my hitting it against itself. That sound will shut anyone up.
