Poll: Did your parents hit you?
- Thread starter Blindswordmaster
- Start date
Recommended Videos
I got smacked as a child, so did my siblings, looking at them now, we're all pretty fucked up in our own ways.
What it did to me:
I became a technical pacifist - I don't hurt people unless I have no other choice, even if one of my sibling hits me I won't hit back unless I really feel the need to, I will however defend myself, blocking any punches.
I learnt that no matter what my little brother does its alway partially my fault - if he forgets to do something then I find that I was supposed to have reminded him.
I have a dislike for physical contact - I can just about give and receive hugs from some people and that because I worked at getting rid of this dislike.
I have a high pain tolerance - something my sister and little brother both seem to lack.
I learnt not to get caught.
While punishment dissuades the kid from doing that particular behaviour they need to reward the kid for good behaviours to encourage them. Operant conditioning, it works until the kid figures it out.
All in all I'm on the fence about this whole issue. As long as the kid deserves it then sure spank them, but don't discriminate between your kids, that's half the reason I'm so screwed up.
Would I ever spank my own kids? I really don't think me having kids will ever happen, I don't want to screw them up.
What it did to me:
I became a technical pacifist - I don't hurt people unless I have no other choice, even if one of my sibling hits me I won't hit back unless I really feel the need to, I will however defend myself, blocking any punches.
I learnt that no matter what my little brother does its alway partially my fault - if he forgets to do something then I find that I was supposed to have reminded him.
I have a dislike for physical contact - I can just about give and receive hugs from some people and that because I worked at getting rid of this dislike.
I have a high pain tolerance - something my sister and little brother both seem to lack.
I learnt not to get caught.
While punishment dissuades the kid from doing that particular behaviour they need to reward the kid for good behaviours to encourage them. Operant conditioning, it works until the kid figures it out.
All in all I'm on the fence about this whole issue. As long as the kid deserves it then sure spank them, but don't discriminate between your kids, that's half the reason I'm so screwed up.
Would I ever spank my own kids? I really don't think me having kids will ever happen, I don't want to screw them up.
I did when I was really young and had more than earned it. When I got older they realized that me being bigger than my father probably put a damper on that plan. Instead, they at one time removed EVERYTHING from my room other than my bed and alarm clock. They said, "Child services requires I give you food and a place to sleep. It don't say you need anything else. You'll get these things back in pieces as you earn them."
...
I changed my act pretty quickly...I NEEDED my laptop. I earned everything back in about a month. Needless to say I was a perfect child all through High School.
...
I changed my act pretty quickly...I NEEDED my laptop. I earned everything back in about a month. Needless to say I was a perfect child all through High School.
Yeah, only if I properly pissed them off though... which was often. I don't know... I just couldn't behave when I was a kid. There was always an urge to see what happened when I did something stupid/I was specifically told not to. Guess I'm just bad at learning.
This is a touchy subject so no matter what I say there will always be a bad side from which ever view you look at it. I'm not after people's respect (a cookie would be nice cause I'm kinda hungry) this is just my personal opinion.cabooze said:
Parents should decide if their kid gets a smack and only when they have been very bad and as a last resort. There are many other methods to stop kids from misbehaving other than smacking.
If people don't know how to raise kids then maybe they shouldn't have them. Smacking is not a way to raise kids. That is child abuse. Doing it in moderation, as in when they have been bad and as a last resort is not raising them as that happens over the years of their life. It just teaches them to never do something again. Therefore, is one bad act of smacking better in the long run. When I was younger I stole from a shop a few times and my mother caught me. She hit me and grounded me the whole lot, but I have never up to this day stole again. If smacking was raising then it would happen a lot more than when ever you just did something that was bad.
Kids that hit kids maybe don't know what it feels like. If they then get a quick smack they will realise what they have been doing is wrong. That way they stop and then parents no longer have to hit them. If it's because of parents hitting them in the first place that they are then hitting other kids then that would mean that they have been raised by people who use smacking as a way to raise kids. As I said it should only be used to teach them what they are doing is wrong.
I just looked over what I wrote and it looks like my brain exploded. They were tricky questions but I tried my best. I will be in the wrong in some way or another but these were my opinions. You can question them but I will stick to them. And by smacking I ment a quick clip on the ear or back of the leg. By the sound of your post I think you ment by smacking as in punching and beating your kids till they are bruised, broken bones, bleeding etc etc. This is wrong and I never meant that. If that's what I sounded when I came across in my first post I will correct that now. You sounded offended in your post (not sure, doesn't translate well into text) and if you thought that I meant that parents should beat their kids badly as what I said above bones, blood etc then I will tell you now that that is wrong no matter when it happens. However, although I don't think it should be all of the time, or if at all if it can be helped, smacking will teach kids lessons.
If you took offence to any of my comments then just ignore them because they are just opinions. I chose to share them, it's you who choses to listen to them. I won't try to change your opinions so don't change mine even if they are wrong, I will still stick with them.
Man I need to lighten up the mood. Here we go:
i was about 13 or less. One day my mum asked me to get something from the market and i was being really childish. i said no i will not again and again for absolutely no reason. So my father got up, came up to me looking angry as hell and slapped me across the face. Couple of days later he apologised and said he had a bad day at work that day. I was really upset for that but now i dont blame him single bitt...
Wow! I am truly disgusted at how strongly corporal punishment is revered amongst escapists especially when they say you need it to instill fear into their minds. Fear is never good.
Corporal punishment is a very feeble form of discipline. The main reason people give when asked 'Why do you believe in smacking kids?' is that 'I was disciplined that way and I turned out good.', showing that they still have yet to learn the number one rule of statistics: Correlation =\\= Causation.
In reality, when this form of punishment is used, whether solely or with a mixture of other forms of discipline, it often causes the one whom is disciplined to rebel, act more violent and/or hide the actions from the discipliner. One of the studies against violence as a form of discipline was using the example of house-training dogs. Seven out of ten of the dogs that were smacked when they used the house as a toilet were still doing their business inside, the only difference being that they were better at hiding it from their owners. For the dogs that were treated when they emptied themselves outside however, nearly all of them were doing the dirty-work outside.
What I have observed about corporal punishment matches with what I've read about it, and that is that it is more harmful than helpful. Those I know whom were never smacked tended to be a lot more cheerful, kind hearted, and more stable in stressful circumstances, including myself. I can honestly say that I believe I would have been worse off had I been smacked when I was young.
One thing I would concede to corporal punishment though, is that any form of discipline, no matter how faulty it is, is better than no form of discipline. Unfortunately, many seem under the mistaken impression that corporal punishment is the only form of discipline when there are many other greater methods. As I alwayssay believe, a smile is much more motivational than a fist.
Here [http://wik.ed.uiuc.edu/index.php/Corporal_Punishment] is also an interesting article about smacking. I've only skimmed parts of it, but it looks like an informative read to me.
Corporal punishment is a very feeble form of discipline. The main reason people give when asked 'Why do you believe in smacking kids?' is that 'I was disciplined that way and I turned out good.', showing that they still have yet to learn the number one rule of statistics: Correlation =\\= Causation.
In reality, when this form of punishment is used, whether solely or with a mixture of other forms of discipline, it often causes the one whom is disciplined to rebel, act more violent and/or hide the actions from the discipliner. One of the studies against violence as a form of discipline was using the example of house-training dogs. Seven out of ten of the dogs that were smacked when they used the house as a toilet were still doing their business inside, the only difference being that they were better at hiding it from their owners. For the dogs that were treated when they emptied themselves outside however, nearly all of them were doing the dirty-work outside.
What I have observed about corporal punishment matches with what I've read about it, and that is that it is more harmful than helpful. Those I know whom were never smacked tended to be a lot more cheerful, kind hearted, and more stable in stressful circumstances, including myself. I can honestly say that I believe I would have been worse off had I been smacked when I was young.
One thing I would concede to corporal punishment though, is that any form of discipline, no matter how faulty it is, is better than no form of discipline. Unfortunately, many seem under the mistaken impression that corporal punishment is the only form of discipline when there are many other greater methods. As I always
Here [http://wik.ed.uiuc.edu/index.php/Corporal_Punishment] is also an interesting article about smacking. I've only skimmed parts of it, but it looks like an informative read to me.
All of my friends were smacked as a child. We're talking about slaps around the thighs and arse, not punches to the face. We're all happy go lucky and cheerful people. The problem with studies is that anyone can formulate another and get the exact opposite outcome. I don't consider myself psychologically scarred or anything like that. I agree, belts and other utensils is taking a but too far, but sometimes the only way to get a child to stop doing something is to inflict pain, no matter how slight it is. My parents always apologised to me and I sometimes wonder how things would have turned out differently if I was never smacked. But at the end of the day, despite all my flaws, I like myself and I thank my parents for making me the way I am today.10BIT said:
Yes my parents spanked me and it worked. I stayed in line. By the way I love my Mother and Father dearly and don't hate them. Also it works cause saying don't do that just makes small children want to do that. It is why a five year old will touch a hot stove then no touch it again because it hurts. It implements it into their mind that it is bad to touch the stove, It will do the same with acting bad. Im not saying you should beat them just spank them on the butt. With cussing my parents didn't really ever have a problem with cuss words cause they didnt make a bug deal. They let me hear them on Movies when i was older and just said don't say these words cause they are bad. and if i did they would spank me.
Nah, my parents never knocked me around. I've been told by them that they would only slap one of their kids if the aforementioned kid ran out onto the road without checking to see if there were any incoming cars. This would be done to ensure they never, ever did it again.
It never got put into use, though.
It never got put into use, though.
when i was young, I would get a huge slap across the face when I acted really bad. My mom put the fear of god into me. lol Now I'm a pretty good kid. My mom rarely yells at me and she's pretty cool. The earlier you straighten your kids out, the less stressful it will be to raise them when there in high school in such.
Um... I'm going to try to say this as diplomatically as possible. In my country it's illegal to hit your children, for any reason and I agree with this law. As I understand it studies have shown that these kinds of punishments USUALLY do more harm then good.
Did you reply to the wrong post? I never made any comment towards punches to the face or using other objects to punish.Daystar Clarion said:
I never said it was impossible to not be happy and cheerful if you were smacked as I child and that you would be forever scarred by the experience, I just said out of the people I know, those that were not smacked were better mentally than the ones that were.
I know that studies can be easily manipulated, so I make sure not to trust them if:
The sample size is too small or chosen in a way to induce a naturally biased group;
The ones doing the study are biased towards the outcome of the study;
The conclusion is the only reasonable one you can make from the data.
If you have any studies that do not fall to these three faults and says that corporal punishment is effective, show them to me.
Similarly, if you have any evidence to back up the claim that pain is sometimes the only way, show it to me.
I have little problem with you looking up to your parents for smacking you. I have a problem, however, that I believe you will also smack your children. Although you believe you will be helping them, you will still be inflicting intentional pain onto a child in a situation where it was unnecessary.
[small]P.S. Those mistakes were annoying me.
Edit: and you fixed them while I was still typing[/small]
[sub]P.P.S. I wish I could find 'Dogbert's "School of Hard Knocks"' on-line, would make my point easier to express.[/sub]
My old man used to hit me, For being bad. That I didn't mind so much. But then he'd hit me for not being good at football or for being bullied at school. Knocked me out once.
We get along nowadays, Probably I'm bigger than him, which is odd cos I'm so very un-violent (Havn't been in scrap since I was 8)
We get along nowadays, Probably I'm bigger than him, which is odd cos I'm so very un-violent (Havn't been in scrap since I was 8)
