Poll: Did your parents hit you?

[snide_cake]

My parents hit me with wooden and large plastic spoons, belts, thongs (flip flops), and the good ol' trusty hand.

I don't remember deserving it... I remember having an altercation with my sister when I was probably about 10 (it didn't come to blows or nothing, just heated words) and instead of hearing me out my dad just hauled me off to my room where I sobbed til my mum actually asked what had happened.

I remember being told off for writing my name all over the couch in biro. However it wasn't me, it was my sister, and she had learnt to write my name first, since it was easier. But again my father didn't listen, just hit me and put me in my room.

I remember him always threatening me with his hand or his belt or his thong, and even when I was 15 or so he would always say to me "you're not too young for me to smack ya know". He shut up though when I told him I'd hit him back.

I don't think it's a good method of punishment. My father taught me nothing good from it - it taught me fear, and it taught me that violence is the only way to resolve issues.

For a very long time I would flinch when someone raised their hand quickly, and I still do sometimes. Sometimes just cringe waiting for that hand to come down and hit me and it breaks my best friend's heart when I do it to her, because she would never hit me.

In so far as violence... when my parents divorced I decided as the eldest to take on the role of my disciplining father, and would bail my siblings up in a corner and hit them if they cried and yell at them that I would give them something to cry about. I took it upon myself to make sure they were disciplined the same way I was. That's a terrible thing for a 12 year old to think.

I persisted until I was about 20, and realised that yes, my father treated me that way, and he was always a violent man with a quick temper (Italians, heh). And that's how I was raised, but not how I wanted to be any more. So I taught myself other ways to resolve conflicts, grew as a person.

And then I got disowned by my father because he couldn't handle how I had outgrown him, while he was still stuck as an angry, violent man.

TL;DR version: Hitting kids is bad, at least it was for me. It taught me fear and a violent way to reconcile differences.

 

[TheDuckbunny]

Damn, am I near the only one who never got spanked, slapped or hit by my parents? That's insane.

I think beating your kid, if only by spanking them, is just a sign of bad parenting and it shows that you're not being able to control your kid.

Personally, I see it as a sign of good parenting as long as it isn't done in anger. It teaches children that doing what their parents told them not to do will result in pain. Therefore, they learn to be obediant. Therefore you are in control of them. It teaches them respect for authority and a good life leason in the consquences for breaking 'the law' so to speak.

Not beating your kids = never learning the consequences for doing something wrong = out of control kid (not in all cases, I imagine you're quite normal).

The idea that you can reason with young children is often laughably naive.

Sure, I'm not saying you've got to reason with them. Go ahead and punish them, but not physically I'd say. I hope that with the right parenting mostly any child can be taught good without physical punishment, but that's just from my experience (which isn't much).
I think kids that get hit or spanked or whatever are probably more likely to respond in violence later in life as it is their way of showing consequences. But then again, we're probably all well functioning people out here, so it mostly bears no grand consequences either way.

Well, I was smacked with a wooden spoon and it had neither filled me with a fear of said object or an urge to be violent myself. I think suggesting that people will be more voilent if smacked is a hopeless generalization. Indeed, I personally think the opposite is more likely to be true as smacking would have instilled in said child a proper respect for authority. But yeah, like you said, it's down to personal choice - I was smacked and i will smack my children. You weren't and you won't.

But isn't you choosing to hit your own kids with a wooden spoon a sign of 'violence' directly related to your own upbringing? It's just that you consider it necessary violence and I don't, so indeed, personal choice.

 

[Soxafloppin]

Once in a blue mood. When i deserved it. Im glad they did to be honest.

I think it made me realise that being annoying gets you nothing but a sore ass.

 

[kurupt87]

Yes (spankings), if I deserved it. It teaches you boundaries and to respect other people.

It's stupid to make spanking illegal, it doesn't really hurt at all, it's just the shock of being totally over powered.

By the time you're 10 the shock has faded and what pain there was is pointless, so then you switch to things like groundings etc. My parents made the switch when they realised I didn't care about it and that it hurt their hand more than my arse.

 

[Kron_the_mad wants to be deleted]

My mum only ever smacked me when she thought I was severely misbehaving.
My dad however was a cold distant alcoholic who, in response to something going on in his delusional little mind, would occasionally pin me to a wall and punch me until the plaster shattered and the bricks cracked muttering that he'd kill me if he had to.

In theory I should be dead becuase he started this shit when I was only six but then again my bones don't seem to break no matter what I get put through, and when I was older and started fighting back his didn't either (and I've broken enough peoples bones to know what I was doing).

 

[ultimateownage]

My parents hit me if I act like a douche, that's the problem with these shits, now it's "Socially irresponsible" to hit you kids. Bull. Shit. The same with the schooling system, at least with the cane people wouldn't be naughty so they could avoid getting caned.

 

[TheScottishFella]

necer hit me of couerse I didn't do anything to tip them over the ed

 

[Mr.logic]

Only until the age of about 7 then they stopped and never did it again.

 

[DarkDain]

I believe a parent should only beat a child to the extent of half the harm the child causes himself with his tomfoolery and wreckless playing.

 

[Brandon237]

If I was really bad, but my brother's the one who needs it. That little tyrant has punched my mother on many occasions, If I ever did that then my ass would be spread over every wooden spoon in the house. I was the good child, but also the first one, therefore my parents were very careful and made sure that I was punished if necessary. My brother is the opposite AND he is ADD. my life is wrecked by him.

You should kick his ass, or at least talk to your mother about it. Thats just disgusting...

Kicked his ass many times, twisted his arms, locked him in a cupboard with a belt. Speak to my mother about it everyday. The tyrant will never lose.

 

[Mechanix]

When I was little id get like a smack if i did something wrong but not like beatings. If they tried something like that id hit them back

Lol, no you wouldn't.

So youre thinking that I havent already lifted my hand to my father when he threatened to hit me. Lol believe what you want

You hit your dad because he said he was GOING to hit you? You shouldn't hit your parents back, especially when they don't even touch you.

 

[DividedUnity]

When I was little id get like a smack if i did something wrong but not like beatings. If they tried something like that id hit them back

Lol, no you wouldn't.

So youre thinking that I havent already lifted my hand to my father when he threatened to hit me. Lol believe what you want

You hit your dad because he said he was GOING to hit you? You shouldn't hit your parents back, especially when they don't even touch you.

Lifting my hand means threatening to hit I wouldnt hit him if he didnt hit me first.

 

[Darth_Dude]

If I was really bad, but my brother's the one who needs it. That little tyrant has punched my mother on many occasions, If I ever did that then my ass would be spread over every wooden spoon in the house. I was the good child, but also the first one, therefore my parents were very careful and made sure that I was punished if necessary. My brother is the opposite AND he is ADD. my life is wrecked by him.

You should kick his ass, or at least talk to your mother about it. Thats just disgusting...

Kicked his ass many times, twisted his arms, locked him in a cupboard with a belt. Speak to my mother about it everyday. The tyrant will never lose.

I salute you good sir, good luck with your brother.

 

[Marsell]

spanking is borderline ok
anything else warrents a sledgehammer to the kneecap

 

[Thanatos5150]

"Moderate, controlled spanking is completely within acceptable bounds." All It should take is one or two firm whacks with your hand, open fist, on the behind. Enough to sting, but not enough to actually hurt. Parents who can't control their anger while spanking their children should not be spanking their children.

But why? Spanking denotes anger and insecurity from the part of the parent. It shows children a darker side of the parent who's unwilling to devote time and effort into raising their child and instead uses a "quick and cheap" tool to get rid of all the problems momentarily. If a parent cannot put the time and effort needed to raise their child (And trust me when I say raising a child is a full time job) then why even raise one at all?

Bullshit. A parent spanking or striking their child denotes neither insecurity nor anger. There's correlation - moreso with actual striking/throws/grapples/et cetera - but there isn't necessarily any causation. Threats, and more importantly, implementation of physical pain as a negative reinforcement method, is a time-tested tool, for personality modification, however crude it may be.

You need to chip away the useless stone in order to make a sculpture.
The deciding factor is an even, measured, and sparing hand.

 

[FlameUnquenchable]

Yep, until I was 18, then I didn't get hit anymore. Punishment of that type was for my own good mostly, and I can appreciate it now, but some of it was unnecessary. As with all things, sometimes a judgement call isn't a good one. They did more good than harm though.

 

[Kenni-chan]

Only if I was bad.

Personally I think it's good parenting,it's assertive and it really puts you in your place, my lil' cosin and my other cosin got it, and we've all turned out good.

Least now I know the perfect techniqus in the arts of arse slapping

 

[Agent Larkin]

I would get a smack if I did something bad. Forced labour if I did something very bad. (Seriously try moving a ton of wet sand when your eight years old. It really makes you think)

 

[Tonimata]

My parents did, it came to a point were my dad was so abusive he would slap me across the face with a slipper (and he's 1,87 tall). Although in the end, and when I decided to fight back, they stopped completely.

And thank God for that.

 

[AndyFromMonday]

Bullshit. A parent spanking or striking their child denotes neither insecurity nor anger

It shows that the parent cannot control himself. Not to mention the fact that it also teaches the child that when you don't get what you want, violence is the answer.

There's correlation - moreso with actual striking/throws/grapples/et cetera - but there isn't necessarily any causation.

So? Children are entitled to the protection of human rights along with everyone else. Let's not forget the fact that you wouldn't hit your wife if she disobeyed you. As you remember, we've outlawed those violent, "time tested tools" for disciplining other people.

Threats, and more importantly, implementation of physical pain as a negative reinforcement method, is a time-tested tool, for personality modification, however crude it may be.

Time tested? Just because something is still used to this day does not mean it's "good". It's simply the easiest way for short time relief and as such it's still used. You do not hit your spouse if she disobeys you.

Also, I'd love it for you to prove the above.





By your logic bosses should have the right to use violence in order to discipline their employees, husbands or wives should have the right to use violence against their spouses and teachers should have the right to spank children every time they do not get a passing grade. You cannot advocate violence against children when they do something you deem as wrong if you do not advocate violence against any living thing as long as it did something that someone deemed wrong.