Poll: Do we nice guys still stand a chance?
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as i nice guy i ask that we stop trying to make ourselves out to be victims. we try to make ourselves feel better by saying, "oh well theres nothing i could have done because girls just like assholes." bullshit! some girls do, but its not that womyn just have an uncontrollable desire to be treated like shit, its that they like confidence and asshole tend to have plenty of that. this whole nice guys finish last idea came about because a lot of nice guys do have low confidence and as a result they do often finish last. but it isnt the fact that they are nice that turns off womyn.
you know how to treat girls, they dont. be proud of that and be confident in yourself. nice and pathetic are two very different things, and very few womyn want to date a wounded puppy
you know how to treat girls, they dont. be proud of that and be confident in yourself. nice and pathetic are two very different things, and very few womyn want to date a wounded puppy
So far I've found the physical attractiveness of both parties plays a much larger role at least in the initial stages of romance than how "nice" someone is so in my opinion this topic is largely moot anyway.
However I will say that jerky-ness can initially appear to be extroversion and a sense of humour so it can have an impact on the first encounters.
Lastly I'd add that the decision of whether or not someone is a "jerk" can be quite subjective. What some find obnoxious others find entertaining and indicative of "vitality". Something distinctly lacking from this post. I think I write like this when I'm annoyed... girls are a pain in the arse sometimes. I'd like to say they're not worth it but it'd be a lie, however sometimes things would be a lot easier if the sex issue went away.
However I will say that jerky-ness can initially appear to be extroversion and a sense of humour so it can have an impact on the first encounters.
Lastly I'd add that the decision of whether or not someone is a "jerk" can be quite subjective. What some find obnoxious others find entertaining and indicative of "vitality". Something distinctly lacking from this post. I think I write like this when I'm annoyed... girls are a pain in the arse sometimes. I'd like to say they're not worth it but it'd be a lie, however sometimes things would be a lot easier if the sex issue went away.
I am not a nice guy. Some may be deceived by the way I look or act, but really, I am not. The thing is, I don't treat a girl I like any different than I would treat a friend.
If she doesn't show interest, then good for her. In case that she insists to stay with a jerk that cheats on her one day and she is eager to forgive him the next one, I will point out this mistake she is making. Maybe call her an idiot and walk away. I am not your psychiatrist lady, you shouldn't come running to me for support the next time he fucks some other girl.
Anyway, I am only interested in sex lately. Long time relationships can fuck off (at least I am honest).
If she doesn't show interest, then good for her. In case that she insists to stay with a jerk that cheats on her one day and she is eager to forgive him the next one, I will point out this mistake she is making. Maybe call her an idiot and walk away. I am not your psychiatrist lady, you shouldn't come running to me for support the next time he fucks some other girl.
Anyway, I am only interested in sex lately. Long time relationships can fuck off (at least I am honest).
^This.Kathinka said:
Seriously though, being a nice guy; things eventually go your way as long as "Nice" and "Complete doormat" happens to be the same thing. Being nice: great. Being a doormat; works as well for relationships as it does for everything else. Not very.
Also to you who I just quoted; grats.
Congratulations, you just lumped all women into the same catagory. Horses for courses, boss.
Keep your nails short, shirt clean, chin up and tongue out, and also never ask girls whether 'nice guys still stand a chance'. Being confident and acting confident are the same thing, so long as you don't blow it by second guessing. Take note that the word 'confident' here refers to Sean Connery, rather than The Situation.
Keep your nails short, shirt clean, chin up and tongue out, and also never ask girls whether 'nice guys still stand a chance'. Being confident and acting confident are the same thing, so long as you don't blow it by second guessing. Take note that the word 'confident' here refers to Sean Connery, rather than The Situation.
you're right, maybe I'll write it somedaygamer_parent said:
funny you should bring up dancing, my parents and kid brother all do it, I've tried it and... IT WORKS.
I went to a christmas ball with them once, two weeks later, a girl i met there was my girlfriend. (a month later she broke up with me again, but it's a start
)In hindsight I kinda regret saying I don't want to dance XD but that was mainly the school and the people (waaaay too many old women, and by old I mean 70+), the younger ones were mostly rather dim, one huge annoying idiot and... well... my ex. but I moved out, to a different town, so maybe I'll pick it up here. main problem is that I'm likely about to enter a year on the board of my study union. which basically means I have about enough time for myself to eat and sleep next year
anyway, if I do happen to have the time, I'll look into it, cause I know it's good advise
now all I have to do is get myself in a situation with a nice girl where you can actually dance...
I'm with Veloxe on this one. Being nice and being spineless aren't the same thing at all. Women want a guy who's nice. We don't consciously WANT someone to treat us like dirt. People who are attracted to that have issues, and are not the norm. What we DON'T usually like is guys who are spineless, which is another box of frogs entirely. Form an opinion, defend your opinion, and decide what you want at McDonald's for chrissake.Veloxe said:
It doesn't matter if you're nice or a jerk, or arrogant or confident or whateva... women like 2 things:
1. money (men like this too) - I haven't met a man with money who didn't have a woman in his life (be it a good woman, a smart one, a dumb one, a blue eyed blonde one or a hoe). Every individual person (man/woman/monkey) on this planet is as materialistic as they can get (whether they want to believe it or not... we all have NEEDZ... so it's stupid to think otherwise)
2. big d-cks... well actually not sure about this one, but i got some interresting answers when i asked arround... won't get into it though... but I just wanted to be a misogynistic asshole... hope it worked...
Truthfully though in the search for a mate... there are no right or wrong answers... u just keep on meetin' new girls till u find the one u like (i know it sounds so fudgin' cliche) & also likes u back... it's gotta be a mutual thing.. or it won't fudgin' work no matter how hard u try or want to make it work... or it will work for a while & you get buried under so much shit that you're going to regret it... just... keep... searchin... OW & ONE IMPORTANT THING: REJECTION! happens to most of us... IT's PART of THE PROCESS... get over it... move on... life's too short to wait around and be sorry for yourself or anythin' close to the degree of self pitty. SELF PITTY destroys most people.
1. money (men like this too) - I haven't met a man with money who didn't have a woman in his life (be it a good woman, a smart one, a dumb one, a blue eyed blonde one or a hoe). Every individual person (man/woman/monkey) on this planet is as materialistic as they can get (whether they want to believe it or not... we all have NEEDZ... so it's stupid to think otherwise)
2. big d-cks... well actually not sure about this one, but i got some interresting answers when i asked arround... won't get into it though... but I just wanted to be a misogynistic asshole... hope it worked...
Truthfully though in the search for a mate... there are no right or wrong answers... u just keep on meetin' new girls till u find the one u like (i know it sounds so fudgin' cliche) & also likes u back... it's gotta be a mutual thing.. or it won't fudgin' work no matter how hard u try or want to make it work... or it will work for a while & you get buried under so much shit that you're going to regret it... just... keep... searchin... OW & ONE IMPORTANT THING: REJECTION! happens to most of us... IT's PART of THE PROCESS... get over it... move on... life's too short to wait around and be sorry for yourself or anythin' close to the degree of self pitty. SELF PITTY destroys most people.
Speaking as a 20 year old dutch girl, yes, you do stand a chance. I hate jerks, and I avoid them. Period. I take a nice guy over a jerk any day so just hang in there!
I've always found this article (http://www.theclassygeek.com/2010/06/debunking-the-myth-of-the-nice-guy/) to be relevant to these kinds of threads. Doesn't apply to all so-called nice guys, but certainly to a fair few of them.
If you are truly a nice guy, there is a bit of a latency effect- women are considered to mature faster, but then they also go through a phase where they like bad men and rough sex, etc. It's something that passes with age and as they get older, they start wanting stability more, dependable men. Having a job, your own car, house, the trappings of wealth, those are all very attractive things at that stage (plus who you are, of course).
If you are truly a nice guy, there is a bit of a latency effect- women are considered to mature faster, but then they also go through a phase where they like bad men and rough sex, etc. It's something that passes with age and as they get older, they start wanting stability more, dependable men. Having a job, your own car, house, the trappings of wealth, those are all very attractive things at that stage (plus who you are, of course).
As Ive been lead to believe its not that girls dont like nice guys its just nice guys tend to be self entitled, passive agressive and obsessive, with a tendency to put girls on pedestals.
The secret as Ive been told it is not to just to be confident but to treat the girl as a human being, nothing more nothing less.
The secret as Ive been told it is not to just to be confident but to treat the girl as a human being, nothing more nothing less.
Yeah, nice guys are totally never going to have any chance. I got a girlfriend and three very close female friends, get along great with female classmates. I am a really 'nice guy', never even go to parties to get drunk, never try to cause any trouble. Maybe you don't understand nice guy the right way.