Poll: Female babysitter charged for having sex with 14-year old boy.

[Saulkar]

There are three really important (to me at least) questions here.

1. Did she get him drunk, or did they drink together?

2. Did he or a family member press charges?

3. Did he want to have sex with her?

Without those questions properly answered I cannot form a proper opinion on the matter.

If it turns out that they had a few drinks together, had sex willingly and a parent pressed charges I do believe this woman to be innocent.

I share this opinion of yours; but people ask what if it was a 20 year old guy with a 14 year old girl? I reply: what were the circumstances? I never make a premature judgement without some solid facts and answers.

Yes, well, guess what? The circumstamces don't fucking matter. If the genders had been reversed, the 14-year-old girl could scream that it was 100% consentual til she was blue in the face. uess who's still going to jail

A real double standard but one that is not without a smidgen of merit. You see it has been proven that many (but not all) girls who become sexually active at a young age may develop cognitive and emotional issues as they develop while at the same time many (but once again not all) boys can become sexually active as young as twelve and still develop normally (but once again I will stress that this is not guaranteed).

Do you have any studies to back that claim?

Yes I do but I cannot remember which ones they are. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescent_sexuality_in_the_United_States#References

There are 144 references and about 9 or 11 of them I am going off of (no one can expect me to read all 144 references), I just cannot remember which ones. Unless it is about some sort of media like a video game or movie, I generally do not read the wiki itself. I just use it as a reference to get to the references I am looking for. Even then I take everything with a grain of salt since no one can know everything about anything. This link http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/02/070226131500.htm talks about the social aspects having repercussions (Adolescent delinquency) in an early sex life compared to the emotional and psychological ramifications (I do not think I said that right but if your not one of those people who "chose" not to understand because it is not written at a minimum level of sophistication regardless of lucidity then you should be golden). Read all you want because my brain is saying enough.

 

[LuaPineapple]

I was 15 when I was seduced (willingly). She was 16, which was the legal age of concent in the state. Should my lover have been also sent to jail? The age diff is only -1/3 in this story compared to mine.

 

[TheRealCJ]

My reaction to the whole relationship can be summed up in one word...

Spoiler

ALRIGHT FINE! I'll be an adult and admit that the age difference and him being 14 is not right. But let's admit it gentlemen, when we were all fourteen we were all fantasizing about women that were even older than her.

And girls don't? I've got one word for you: Twilight.

 

[BangSmashBoom]

As a babysitter you make a promise to the child's parents to look after the boy as if the boy was the babysitter's own family, and from what I know, I could be wrong, but from what I have heard, family don't have sex with each other, unless your husband and wife, in that case go nuts.

So short answer, Bad babysitter, Bad!

 

[TheRealCJ]

There are three really important (to me at least) questions here.

1. Did she get him drunk, or did they drink together?

2. Did he or a family member press charges?

3. Did he want to have sex with her?

Without those questions properly answered I cannot form a proper opinion on the matter.

If it turns out that they had a few drinks together, had sex willingly and a parent pressed charges I do believe this woman to be innocent.

I share this opinion of yours; but people ask what if it was a 20 year old guy with a 14 year old girl? I reply: what were the circumstances? I never make a premature judgement without some solid facts and answers.

Yes, well, guess what? The circumstamces don't fucking matter. If the genders had been reversed, the 14-year-old girl could scream that it was 100% consentual til she was blue in the face. uess who's still going to jail

A real double standard but one that is not without a smidgen of merit. You see it has been proven that many (but not all) girls who become sexually active at a young age may develop cognitive and emotional issues as they develop while at the same time many (but once again not all) boys can become sexually active as young as twelve and still develop normally (but once again I will stress that this is not guaranteed). But the effects, longevity, and overall outcome is almost impossible to predict with today's knowledge and methodologies. I think Canada has the age of consent law right, at least to a limited degree. A person age 12 to 13 may have sex with someone up to two years older than them. A person 14 to 15 may have sex with someone up to 5 years older than them. At age sixteen no more rules apply. While this is not perfect I feel that it does a good enough job in protecting youth by not out right barring them but rather limiting them to an age group small enough to prevent one from having a disproportionate advantage over the other physically and mentally.

Well, I believe that almost all of that insecurity and emotional issues stem from the fact that a girl having sex is wrooooooong.

Think about it like this, using this very thread as an example: If a 14 year old girl was to have a 18-20 year old boyfriend, not only would she have to keep it a secret from almost all of her friends (who would most likely gossip and make it public), but have to live with the knowledge that if they are caught, she will be personally responsible for destroying someones entire life, and not just any someone, someone she was/is most likely in a stable relationship with.

Now look at what a 14 year old guy has to go through: "High fives all around", and most likely nothing more than community service for his girlfriend. Unless his parents/the law actively prevented them from communicating, they would laugh it off within the week.

 

[Evidencebased]

The reaction that many people are having, saying "nice!" and claiming that all teenage boys want sex, is actually very harmful and makes it difficult for male rape victims to be taken seriously. If this kid did not truly want to have sex with his adult babysitter, praising him as a stud would likely discourage him from telling the truth -- after all, he wants to be a man, right? What kind of man would turn down sex? Not a real man! So maybe he'll say "yeah, I wanted it" no matter how true that is, just to save face.

This kind of narrative -- boys and men as always willing, even quite young boys -- doesn't leave room for boys and men who are not interested in sex (or at least in sex with anyone that comes along.) It acts to shut up boys who are molested, and it tells the parents of these boys that they are being overbearing or ridiculous for protecting their underage sons from sexual predators. If we wouldn't abandon 14-year-old girls to any adult that wanted to screw them, we shouldn't abandon 14-year-old boys... they deserve to have their boundaries and youth respected just like any other kid does. We should not assume that a teenage boy "must" have wanted sex just because he's a boy; it's not always true, and it can really damage boys and men who are victims of unwanted sexual contact.

 

[Saulkar]

There are three really important (to me at least) questions here.

1. Did she get him drunk, or did they drink together?

2. Did he or a family member press charges?

3. Did he want to have sex with her?

Without those questions properly answered I cannot form a proper opinion on the matter.

If it turns out that they had a few drinks together, had sex willingly and a parent pressed charges I do believe this woman to be innocent.

I share this opinion of yours; but people ask what if it was a 20 year old guy with a 14 year old girl? I reply: what were the circumstances? I never make a premature judgement without some solid facts and answers.

Yes, well, guess what? The circumstamces don't fucking matter. If the genders had been reversed, the 14-year-old girl could scream that it was 100% consentual til she was blue in the face. uess who's still going to jail

A real double standard but one that is not without a smidgen of merit. You see it has been proven that many (but not all) girls who become sexually active at a young age may develop cognitive and emotional issues as they develop while at the same time many (but once again not all) boys can become sexually active as young as twelve and still develop normally (but once again I will stress that this is not guaranteed). But the effects, longevity, and overall outcome is almost impossible to predict with today's knowledge and methodologies. I think Canada has the age of consent law right, at least to a limited degree. A person age 12 to 13 may have sex with someone up to two years older than them. A person 14 to 15 may have sex with someone up to 5 years older than them. At age sixteen no more rules apply. While this is not perfect I feel that it does a good enough job in protecting youth by not out right barring them but rather limiting them to an age group small enough to prevent one from having a disproportionate advantage over the other physically and mentally.

Well, I believe that almost all of that insecurity and emotional issues stem from the fact that a girl having sex is wrooooooong.

Think about it like this, using this very thread as an example: If a 14 year old girl was to have a 18-20 year old boyfriend, not only would she have to keep it a secret from almost all of her friends (who would most likely gossip and make it public), but have to live with the knowledge that if they are caught, she will be personally responsible for destroying someones entire life, and not just any someone, someone she was/is most likely in a stable relationship with.

Now look at what a 14 year old guy has to go through: "High fives all around", and most likely nothing more than community service for his girlfriend. Unless his parents/the law actively prevented them from communicating, they would laugh it off within the week.

I actually am forced to agree with you on that point to a limited degree with no ill will on my part as your statement is valid. While what you say has the potential to be the majority (I have nothing to back this up though and as thus am only guessing), it is not the only possible outcome and thus I still keep my eyes and ears open for the minority. But once again your point is valid.

 

[Gunner 51]

Hot daaaamn, that kid must have some moves on him. I remember having a similar looking babysitter when I was twelve and I would have given my left nut to take it all the way with her. (Only mine was a bit chubbier and blonde.)

I know it's a terrible, terrible double standard but I say give the kid a medal. I think South Park explored this double standard of "if the 'abuser' is hot and female - it's OK.

I can understand jailing paedophiles and all that, but the girl's age, I'd say that the girl in question is just horribly mixed up.

Most girls wouldn't touch younger guys with a forty foot barge pole - experience taught me that they always look for "mature" guys. Perhaps this lad was mature for his age while all the girl's peers were dull minded frat boys with nothing but sex and booze on their minds or something.

All speculation on my part. Hypocritically though, if the ages were reversed - I'd be calling for jail if a twenty year old bloke played hide the sausage with a fourteen year old girl he's supposed to be looking after. (I'm a terrible person for thinking this.)

 

[Simonism451]

Treat it the same way, you would treat an ugly fifty old man having (apparently consentual) sex with a fourteen year girl , everything else would be bigotry.

 

[Silva]

I don't think it's fair or right for it to be "okay" if the offender is attractive and female. Gender is irrelevant to this discussion.

Yes, the majority of the Western population is losing their virginity before 15, but that doesn't mean it should be that way, that it should be supported by law, or that it's okay for the people that they lose their virginity to to be far too old.

If the woman did the deed, she should do the jail time and end up on the registry. At the very least.

 

[6urk17s]

I am masturbating to this right now.

Wrong forums mate, you should try 4chan instead.
OT: Well, I dont really care to be honest.

 

[Drunkern_Hobo]

.....but she's hot

 

[thevillageidiot13]

There are three really important (to me at least) questions here.

1. Did she get him drunk, or did they drink together?

2. Did he or a family member press charges?

3. Did he want to have sex with her?

Without those questions properly answered I cannot form a proper opinion on the matter.

If it turns out that they had a few drinks together, had sex willingly and a parent pressed charges I do believe this woman to be innocent.

I share this opinion of yours; but people ask what if it was a 20 year old guy with a 14 year old girl? I reply: what were the circumstances? I never make a premature judgement without some solid facts and answers.

Yes, well, guess what? The circumstamces don't fucking matter. If the genders had been reversed, the 14-year-old girl could scream that it was 100% consentual til she was blue in the face. uess who's still going to jail

A real double standard but one that is not without a smidgen of merit. You see it has been proven that many (but not all) girls who become sexually active at a young age may develop cognitive and emotional issues as they develop while at the same time many (but once again not all) boys can become sexually active as young as twelve and still develop normally (but once again I will stress that this is not guaranteed).

Do you have any studies to back that claim?

Yes I do but I cannot remember which ones they are. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescent_sexuality_in_the_United_States#References

There are 144 references and about 9 or 11 of them I am going off of (no one can expect me to read all 144 references), I just cannot remember which ones. Unless it is about some sort of media like a video game or movie, I generally do not read the wiki itself. I just use it as a reference to get to the references I am looking for. Even then I take everything with a grain of salt since no one can know everything about anything. This link http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/02/070226131500.htm talks about the social aspects having repercussions (Adolescent delinquency) in an early sex life compared to the emotional and psychological ramifications (I do not think I said that right but if your not one of those people who "chose" not to understand because it is not written at a minimum level of sophistication regardless of lucidity then you should be golden). Read all you want because my brain is saying enough.

I'm a second-year college student, and I've heard this from a few Psychology professors. If you're too lazy to look over the references, then just let me vouch for it.

 

[geier]

first:

Why does a 14er need a babysitter, like the word itself says "baby" !

second:

Of course everyone says give the boy a medal, but could you please turn the thing around in your hesd, like a 20 year old male with a drunken 14 year old girl ?

Doesn`t look so heroic now, does it ?

But thats only for the US, here in germany it is rather commonly and no one cares. Must suck to be an american.

 

[Liudeius]

859 replies? This is the single largest topic I have ever seen.

Is it really that much of a moral dilemma?

She is an adult who had sex with a kid who had only started going through puberty. And to make matters worse, she was considered an authority figure.

 

[Traun]

Providing Alcohol to a minor.
Drugging a minor.
Forced sexual congress with a drugged minor.
Dereliction of duty.

Twenty years.

Anything else is admitting that we have one rule for one and one for another.

I'm starting to like this man more and more.

I agree, if she gets off easy from this, than the law is pointless.

Also I like how people are fistbumping a kid who just got RAPED, nice going there gamers, you are truly not the stereotypes shown on TV.

 

[Torrasque]

Jail is overkill imo, she should just get a bit of help and go meet some boys her own age.
Honestly, the shame of screwing a 14 year old will probably follow her for a while.

Yep... bascially this

Sorry but In my opinion the age discrepancy is too great. That qualifies as statutory rape... That means jail time and sex offender registration.... Atractiveness of the individual has no legal precedence. WHAT SO EVER.

What =|
I said "jail is overkill" meaning that it is completely over the top, way overboard, unnecessary, etc.

 

[Traun]

Jail is overkill imo, she should just get a bit of help and go meet some boys her own age.
Honestly, the shame of screwing a 14 year old will probably follow her for a while.

Yep... bascially this

Sorry but In my opinion the age discrepancy is too great. That qualifies as statutory rape... That means jail time and sex offender registration.... Atractiveness of the individual has no legal precedence. WHAT SO EVER.

What =|
I said "jail is overkill" meaning that it is completely over the top, way overboard, unnecessary, etc.

Yes, sending a rapist to jail is an overkill.

In fact sending anyone in jail is an overkill, let's just slap murderers on the hand and be done with it.

 

[Saulkar]

There are three really important (to me at least) questions here.

1. Did she get him drunk, or did they drink together?

2. Did he or a family member press charges?

3. Did he want to have sex with her?

Without those questions properly answered I cannot form a proper opinion on the matter.

If it turns out that they had a few drinks together, had sex willingly and a parent pressed charges I do believe this woman to be innocent.

I share this opinion of yours; but people ask what if it was a 20 year old guy with a 14 year old girl? I reply: what were the circumstances? I never make a premature judgement without some solid facts and answers.

Yes, well, guess what? The circumstamces don't fucking matter. If the genders had been reversed, the 14-year-old girl could scream that it was 100% consentual til she was blue in the face. uess who's still going to jail

A real double standard but one that is not without a smidgen of merit. You see it has been proven that many (but not all) girls who become sexually active at a young age may develop cognitive and emotional issues as they develop while at the same time many (but once again not all) boys can become sexually active as young as twelve and still develop normally (but once again I will stress that this is not guaranteed).

Do you have any studies to back that claim?

Yes I do but I cannot remember which ones they are. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescent_sexuality_in_the_United_States#References

There are 144 references and about 9 or 11 of them I am going off of (no one can expect me to read all 144 references), I just cannot remember which ones. Unless it is about some sort of media like a video game or movie, I generally do not read the wiki itself. I just use it as a reference to get to the references I am looking for. Even then I take everything with a grain of salt since no one can know everything about anything. This link http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/02/070226131500.htm talks about the social aspects having repercussions (Adolescent delinquency) in an early sex life compared to the emotional and psychological ramifications (I do not think I said that right but if your not one of those people who "chose" not to understand because it is not written at a minimum level of sophistication regardless of lucidity then you should be golden). Read all you want because my brain is saying enough.

I'm a second-year college student, and I've heard this from a few Psychology professors. If you're too lazy to look over the references, then just let me vouch for it.

Lazy? How does laziness play into psychological repetition exhaustion? Reading 30 to 40 pages of the exact same topic phrased differently each time on nine or so different sites picked "from the references", unless I was doing a school report or in direct response to this thread, why would I do that all over a second time? To compromise my memory?