Let me put up an explanation given by my cultural anthropology professor during class last month. He was leading a discussion on this and this is a condensed version of what happened so bear with me....
One day in class He pointed to one of my African American classmates and said, really loudly, "I AM BLACK!!"
The student was like, 'fine, whatever'. The professor (who is very Caucasian) said that he
'walks' like him, and 'talks' like him (he starts strutting around, and talking in some slurred accent -- everybody laughs). He says that he 'listens to the same music' as black people do (I like rap music!!), and he also 'dresses' like black people (he pulls out a Rastafarian hat from behind his desk and puts it on). After the laughter dies down, the AA student says real black people don't do those things. The professor then goes, "I don't care, I'm BLACK!!" and struts around some more. In fact, the professor actually pulls out a piece of paper and says, "I want you to sign this, to declare me black by you -- a black person." The AA student goes "wha?"
"I want you to legally declare me black! We're in the USA right? This is a free country right? I can be anything I want to be!" and slams the paper in front of him.
The AA student laughs, "No professor. You are NOT BLACK!! I know that we're in a free country, yes you can say anything you want, but you can never be black."
"Why not?" the professors mocks.
"You do not fully understand our culture or history, you have never experienced what I have living in America being black, so you will fully never understand what it means to be black. I know this is a free country, but just because you call yourself black, doesn't make it so."
"Yes it does, if you sign this paper, I can be LEGALLY black! Recognized by the government!" the professor points to the paper.
"Sir, you can call yourself whatever you want. It's a free country and you can do whatever makes you happy. But if I sign this paper and formally accept you into our culture, it will lessen my culture. It lessen what it means to be black in this country and everything that we have accomplished. If declare you black by signing this paper, then I will be betraying my identity, my history and my culture." (condensed discussion)
The professor stops and yells, "BINGO!!"
The professor went on to say that this can be applied to ANY label or condition or identification in this country. Married, black, white, chinese, hispanic, etc, anything. The core reason that there are people who are against gay marriages is that it takes away from the culture of marriage. It lessens the cultural significance of marriage, and it takes away from identity of marriage. Many people don't think that by allowing gay marriages that it doesn't hurt anyone, but it does. It hurts the institution of marriage, and for people who support it, see gay marriages as a threat their culture, and will fight to protect it. Or at least by voting in what they believe in when given the opportunity. We're certainly not stopping any gay couples from being together, being joined in a ceremony, living together, and doing whatever they need to do to be happy. But if they need others to vote and sign a paper declaring them "married", it get complicated as it impacts others, since the traditional culture and institution of marriage dictates that it is between a man and woman. It's also a partial explanation why mainly younger generations support gay marriages (not married yet, still playing the field) and the older populations are fighting it (married already, some for many years).
That discussion really opened my eyes on this topic, and even though I don't go to church, I have to agree with that argument. I'm sure I'll get alot of flak and/or flames from this stance (flaming flak?) but that's how I see it. By no means I am foolish enough to say that this position is right or even correct, and if I was gay, I'd probably be fighting for my rights too. That being said, I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that gay people will eventually win the right to be married.
