Poll: Gender Identity

[Lieju]

I generally go by 'female', but 'genderqueer' is probably closer to truth.

It's difficult for me to tell if I'd have turned out this way even without the surrounding society telling me all the time I wasn't being a 'proper' female, (being good at math, liking dinosaurs, not wanting to wear dresses or makeup, being attracted to girls) or if I could feel fully female if those pressures didn't exist.

To make it even more confusing I also have Aspergers, so I have always felt a bit removed from the rest of the humanity anyway, and as a kid I was convinced I wasn't even human, so...

To be honest I'd prefer if I was neither, but I feel like I wouldn't have any more of an issue if my body was male (and I get confused for a guy every now and then.) but obviously I can't tell for sure.

 

[shootthebandit]

Having said that I think women have more of a natural affinity for a caring role and men have a natural affinity for mechanical/engineering roles. It maybe because people are more comfortable with a female caring for them. Granted this isnt a hard and fast rule and it may be more to do with preconditioning (im no expert) but its certainly a trend

Without wishing to kick off a whole debate on the issue, my position is that those stereotypes (women = caring, men = technical) are overwhelmingly socially constructed and reinforced. I'm fairly certain there's nothing "innate" preventing men from being as caring as women or women being as good at engineering as men, just societal pressures, biases and expectations. It'll take a hell of a lot and a very long time (as in several generations) to dismantle those completely, but I do believe it's possible and would be beneficial and liberating for everyone.

In my ideal world, gender would have no meaning at all, and biological sex would only be relevant for relationships/reproduction. Beyond that, everyone would be free to act however they want, wear whatever they want, and take on whatever roles they want. It wouldn't be considered any more weird for a man to wear a dress than for a woman to wear trousers. Fathers could be primary caregivers without having to explain themselves. Women could wear tuxes to formal events without everyone assuming they're gay or trying to make a statement. There would be no "girl toys" and "boy toys", just toys that children could pick and choose from as they wanted. Etc, etc, etc.

Thats why I said it may be due to conditioning which it most likely is (again in no expert)

I wasnt meaning to say men = technical and women = caring. Its just a pretty big trend, if its a nature or nurture im not qualified enough to say.

 

[Eamar]

Thats why I said it may be due to conditioning which it most likely is (again in no expert)

I wasnt meaning to say men = technical and women = caring. Its just a pretty big trend, if its a nature or nurture im not qualified enough to say.

Oh, right. Well yeah, those trends are kind of the reason I feel the way I do. Their existence is sort of the point of my post in a roundabout way

EDIT: Just for clarity, I responded in the way I did because you used the words "natural affinity" to describe women's caring and men's mechanical abilities. If it's down to society, it's not exactly a "natural affinity".

 

[Boris Goodenough]

Sure, but I'm prepared to bet many more people did have problems. I wasn't allowed to wear the clothes I wanted because I wasn't a boy, for example. And that's pretty minor really, I don't imagine I would have got teased much if my parents had allowed me to dress how I wanted. But imagine if you had wanted to wear pink and dress up in tiaras and feather boas as a little boy (and little boys like that do exist). Do you really think people would have turned a blind eye to that, even if they were forgiving of things like MLP? Do you honestly think they wouldn't have made assumptions about your sexuality/gender identity? Because that's what tends to happen, unfortunately.

It's a continuum, basically. Allowing one part to become accepted/normal opens to floodgates for more restrictive and damaging behaviour. I stand by my view that, unless something can be proven to be 100% preferred/required by one gender, there is no need to gender it.

I grew up in a milieu of parents with the general attitude "let kids do their thing" that reflected in the way the children treated each other. Sure there was a bit of bullying but nothing anywhere near the institutionalisation as I have seen/heard other places.
I don't know how they would have reacted to a pink tutu and a boa wearing boy to be honest, some teasing would have happened but honestly even folded up jeans would cause a laugh.

As I said there were giggles but nothing that I had to hear about, and isn't that all that matter? Not having to suffer for ones personal preferences? People are allowed to be prejudiced as long as they aren't bigots. Sure it would be better if they weren't but as was said earlier that's a purely hypothetical scenario.

I wasn't trying to persuade you, or to be honest, disagreeing with you.

 

[Padwolf]

Cis female here and I'm pretty darn happy to stay this way. I've never really questioned my gender, only femininity. Such as I used to hate wearing make up, and I was told I'm "not a real girl" because of that. I was also told I'm "not a real girl" because I wax instead of shaving. Possibly the dumbest thing I've ever heard, but there you go.

 

[Colour Scientist]

I was told I'm "not a real girl" because of that. I was also told I'm "not a real girl" because I wax instead of shaving. Possibly the dumbest thing I've ever heard, but there you go.

Wat, how does that work?
What kind of person said that to you?

 

[Padwolf]

I was told I'm "not a real girl" because of that. I was also told I'm "not a real girl" because I wax instead of shaving. Possibly the dumbest thing I've ever heard, but there you go.

Wat, how does that work?
What kind of person said that to you?

I have no idea how it works, I was so confused by it. I don't understand how waxing = not feminine. When it was said I just couldn't really talk other than go "wha? I don't even...". It was said by someone who is usually very open minded, very mature, and very intelligent. It made it all the more weird and stupid and random.

 

[Boris Goodenough]

I don't understand how waxing = not feminine.

Because it is super masculine to wax...

 

[Nimcha]

Ugh, I object to the 'cis' label. I've noticed several trans people using it as a derogatory term. Not constructive at all.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Ugh, I object to the 'cis' label.

What label would you prefer to have, then?

 

[The White Hunter]

I am a genderless god class spirit

 

[Vault101]

I generally go by 'female', but 'genderqueer' is probably closer to truth.
It's difficult for me to tell if I'd have turned out this way even without the surrounding society telling me all the time I wasn't being a 'proper' female, (being good at math, liking dinosaurs, not wanting to wear dresses or makeup, being attracted to girls) or if I could feel fully female if those pressures didn't exist.
.

To be honest I'd prefer if I was neither, but I feel like I wouldn't have any more of an issue if my body was male (and I get confused for a guy every now and then.) but obviously I can't tell for sure.

what does "genderqueer" mean? like is it different to being trans?

anyway....interesting I've felt similar to that at times...like I only do the "be a girl" thing because its just easyer to fit in and look more attractive (in a conventional sense) I don't have any inate desire to actually be girly in any way ...that said mabye it just took some time to figure out how to be feminine while not feeling....wrong, or mabye its just pride and not wanting to "give in" to society...then again I strighten my long hair every day so I practially have I supose

[sub/]I also think I like the idea of liking girls more than I actually like girls because it means I don't have to be in that "role", of coarse I have no idea whats going on there eather[/sub]

[
I have no idea how it works, I was so confused by it. I don't understand how waxing = not feminine. When it was said I just couldn't really talk other than go "wha? I don't even...". It was said by someone who is usually very open minded, very mature, and very intelligent. It made it all the more weird and stupid and random.

if I was to even "go there" I would have thought shaving makes you less of a woman, because its also a masculine thing and theres less effort/pain

I know its dumb logic either way but its at least one I can understand on some retarded level

 

[Caiphus]

I have no idea how it works, I was so confused by it. I don't understand how waxing = not feminine. When it was said I just couldn't really talk other than go "wha? I don't even...". It was said by someone who is usually very open minded, very mature, and very intelligent. It made it all the more weird and stupid and random.

That does seem weird.

It's like someone coming up to me and going "Stop scratching those balls of yours, Caiphus. It's not masculine".

I mean, I've been told off about it, just not for that reason.

 

[Boris Goodenough]

I also think I like the idea of liking girls more than I actually like girls because it means I don't have to be in that "role"

There are guys out there who do not expect you to fill that "role"...

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Straight male and not a single shred of guilt about it.

 

[mecegirl]

Cis female here. Though I was the type that played with both Barbies and Ninja Turtles. My family isn't the most laid back gender wise (When I was a teen my dad flipped because I painted my little brother's nails. And it as only a clear nail polish. He was like 5 years old and curious. I knew that using a color would create a strong reaction but I didn't want to turn him away since he wanted to play. We are 12 years apart and they always hounded me for ignoring him..so this time I didn't ) but when it came to media they didn't care. Both my parents like fantasy and sci-fi so any toys related to such things were okay in out house. I don't know what would have happens if I shunned dresses or something. I didn't particularly like them as a child but I was generally patient enough to deal with them during "formal" occasions like church.

 

[chadachada123]

Oh darn, I was born as an oppressive white male. Woe is me.

(Side note, I truly think that anyone that doesn't answer among the first four options is either lying, delusional, or thinks of themselves as some sort of special snowflake that may or may not be seeking attention)

Edit: I forgot to include "Has a legitimate mental illness," which is fine, so long as they recognize it, as with all mental illnesses that are recognizable and hopefully treatable, like Dissociative Identity Disorder.

 

[lunavixen]

I was born female and happy to stay that way, I'm not a girly girl though, I've always been a tomboy and have no desire to change.

 

[Phasmal]

Cisgender female. It's pretty chill for me.

Cis female here and I'm pretty darn happy to stay this way. I've never really questioned my gender, only femininity. Such as I used to hate wearing make up, and I was told I'm "not a real girl" because of that. I was also told I'm "not a real girl" because I wax instead of shaving. Possibly the dumbest thing I've ever heard, but there you go.

I've sort of had this. I get told I'm `emasculating`, for the weirdest crap. Like beating a guy at poker. Oh shit how manly of me to know how to play cards.

I kinda wish that stuff wasn't attributed to gender at all. That way boyfriend could get over himself and admit that he loves Disney movies just as much as I do, and I wouldn't get shit for liking games. Ah... if only.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Cis male here. I don?t really have much of an attachment to my gender identity, since I haven?t had to think about it that much, and my job ambition?s probably one of the most gender-neutral ones out there: journalist. I do support trans issues, although I?ve never met a trans person to my knowledge yet.