Poll: Hes a Virgin and never kissed? Do girls like that?
- Thread starter ForensicYOYO
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Personally I think she would like it cause it would make him hers and only hers (flip it on its head, would you rather a girl who you knew was a total slut or a relative innocent?)
The reason you observe the "jerky" guys getting all the girls is because they have the self-confidence/ego/arrogence to pull it off in the first place, the more girls they get the more it inflates the ego, the more girls they get.
In a lot of ways it becomes self-perpetuating. "Nice" guys on the other hand often lack the self-confidence/ego/arrogence to get girls.
Women seem to be biologically programmed to go for confident guys (on a base level, we can all overcome base urges) the problem with it is self-serving arrogence and simply being cocky often appears to be confidence.
The reason you observe the "jerky" guys getting all the girls is because they have the self-confidence/ego/arrogence to pull it off in the first place, the more girls they get the more it inflates the ego, the more girls they get.
In a lot of ways it becomes self-perpetuating. "Nice" guys on the other hand often lack the self-confidence/ego/arrogence to get girls.
Women seem to be biologically programmed to go for confident guys (on a base level, we can all overcome base urges) the problem with it is self-serving arrogence and simply being cocky often appears to be confidence.
As you seem to be speaking about school times, i must say, what's the difference? It not like it has any impact on whenever the guy in questions is decent/good looking/intelligent/whatever other value one would look for at given moment.
But when a guy never kissed a girl before high-school i think i would personally find it intriguing, guess i grew up in different environment where kissing was quite common even in pre-school not to mention all the 'slow dances' back in primary-school *rolls eyes*
But when a guy never kissed a girl before high-school i think i would personally find it intriguing, guess i grew up in different environment where kissing was quite common even in pre-school not to mention all the 'slow dances' back in primary-school *rolls eyes*
That's nerds for ya'. I think it's because of all the bad chick-flicks, guys eventually get to know (or know of). They see the male main character, doing all the moves and charm to 'persuade' the female main character. We nerds will adapt, to the movies we see, and eventually over-think it, and sabotaging our own chances, by engaging the girl/woman like we would with an equation. We "figure it out". This obviously does not apply, and we are then left nervous and confused.Seldon2639 said:
Edit: The majority of the guys have voted "no", and are apparently wrong in that assumption...shows what we know.
And we ignore the most significant difference between ourselves and the romantic leads: they're really attractive. So, when the romantic comedy "she'll eventually realize I'm perfect for her" doesn't work out (and we fail to recognize that most humans can divorce "enjoys this person's company" from "wants to ride his baloney pony"), we get bitter and cynical and start to think that girls go after the jerks. I mean, they do, but it's not because they're jerks, it's because they're more attractive.Rarhnor said:
The fundamental "wrong" of most romantic comedies is that no guy who looks like that (and could, thus, get girls fawning all over him) would act like the traditional romantic comedy protagonist.
I voted "I'm a guy, I say yes", although it REALLY depends on the girl involved. I got involved with one girl who seemed to be MORE interested in me after realizing that I was a virgin.
My personal advice? If you're interested in a girl, and she won't give you the time of day because you're romantically inexperienced, then you're probably better off not being involved with her in the first place. That attitude sounds pretty damn shallow, and "hot but obnoxious" wears thin in a hurry (note: that can apply to guys as well as girls).
On the other hand, if you DO get into a relationship with a girl despite being inexperienced, you should bloody well listen to any pointers that she gives you (kissing, sex, etc). There's a joke that the reason there are so few female suicide bombers is because breaking in 72 virgins is a woman's idea of Hell. Try not to make her regret taking the chance.
My personal advice? If you're interested in a girl, and she won't give you the time of day because you're romantically inexperienced, then you're probably better off not being involved with her in the first place. That attitude sounds pretty damn shallow, and "hot but obnoxious" wears thin in a hurry (note: that can apply to guys as well as girls).
On the other hand, if you DO get into a relationship with a girl despite being inexperienced, you should bloody well listen to any pointers that she gives you (kissing, sex, etc). There's a joke that the reason there are so few female suicide bombers is because breaking in 72 virgins is a woman's idea of Hell. Try not to make her regret taking the chance.
Okay, it really depends. Quite honestly, If I was into a guy, his sexual background didn't mean squat to me... for the most part. I would be worried about my health if I found out the guy was a skeez who would screw anything that moved. Also, I would be concerned I was just another notch on the bedpost for that fella, and would be more likely to avoid them.
A man with some discerning taste says 2 things to me:
1. He's intelligent enough to overcome his base urges to screw any warmblooded creature that gets near enough to his crotch.
2. He's chosen me out of all the other women he could have had. Now I feel special.
Notice number 2. If you are an inexperienced lover who finds themselves liking a girl who for some odd reason finds this a problem, use this to your advantage. Tell them you were waiting for a girl just like them.
A man with some discerning taste says 2 things to me:
1. He's intelligent enough to overcome his base urges to screw any warmblooded creature that gets near enough to his crotch.
2. He's chosen me out of all the other women he could have had. Now I feel special.
Notice number 2. If you are an inexperienced lover who finds themselves liking a girl who for some odd reason finds this a problem, use this to your advantage. Tell them you were waiting for a girl just like them.
Ah... The Madonna/Whore dichotomy, good to see it still kicking around. Not for nothing, but if you have to divide all women into "total sluts" or "relative innocents", you're not doing much to make yourself sound like a mature and worldly guy.SuccessAndBiscuts said:
Ah, if only it were true. It'd be an easy fix, if it were, and all the nice guys in the world would get a girlfriend, and suddenly be beset with a bevy besotted buxom babes. But... No. Guys who easily get girls become "jerks", because men put the amount of effort into getting women that's required. Really attractive men (or men with really low standards, a la Casanova), get lots of girls without much effort. Nice guys don't get girls because we're either less attractive, or going after girls who are legitimately out of our leagues. Confidence is a bit of a false flag, since I've known plenty of really cocky/arrogant/douchebaggy guys who get absolutely no play.SuccessAndBiscuts said:
Yeah... Same kind of thing. Women (as well as men) are biologically inclined to go for attractive men (and women). You've just got the causal chain backwards.SuccessAndBiscuts said:
There's a whole thing in psychology about the locus of control. Basically, the reason the mind first leaps toward "it's about how we act", is because we like to put the locus of control on ourselves, making it something internal and controllable. Telling ourselves that it's because we're "nice" and "not arrogant douchebags" lets us tell a good narrative.
1. It says to ourselves "well, I could get the girl, if I acted differently, so I'm just as desirable as the guy who gets all the women", and (even better) "I'd get those girls, too, if I stooped to that level, but I'm not going to change who I am to get girls"
2. It says there's something "wrong" with the guys who get all the girls
3. It says there's something "wrong" with the girls who reject us (they're just rejecting us because girls are programmed to go for bad boys, it couldn't be something undesirable about me, it's that she wants the "wrong" thing). Especially if you combine it with 'she mistakes arrogance and self-serving cockiness with confidence', it really becomes "she's stupid, which is why she rejected me"
If we had to explain to ourselves the truth, that we're less desirable (probably physically), it's a bit of a blow to the psyche.
It's ironic that at the same time we consider them to be inscrutable, ineffably complicated, Machiavellian schemers, we also turn around and (if they reject us) come up with a narrative scheme which boils down to "she's too dumb to realize how good I am"
http://www.thedoghousediaries.com/?p=1042Rarhnor said:
I believe that sums it up nicely, as well