101flyboy said:
bahumat42 said:
101flyboy said:
StarStruckStrumpets said:
It's not so much that...It's people that play on it and are overly dramatic about their sexuality. I know two guys that are gay, but they're just like you or me. They live together, but if you ever saw them in town, they'd look like they were just two friends, and when asked if they're a couple, they just say "yeah".
Basically "I'm gay, deal with it" attitude.
The problem is that you're making assumptions that people are who more fem are INTENTIONALLY more fem acting because they want attention. Maybe they just aren't gender conforming. Maybe they are simply naturally more flamboyant. Not everyone is going to be cut from the same cloth, some people are naturally more exuberant than others. As long as that exuberance doesn't harm you directly, it isn't an issue.
Being gay is NOT a lifestyle. And no, the whole behind closed doors thing doesn't work. Gay people are gay inside and outside of their houses. It's not about them hiding their gayness, it's about your issues surrounding it and moving past them. And moving past your gender stereotypical mentality of what men "should" act like. There are no guidelines on being a man. Your basically saying gay people should act "normal", act like regular guys, basically be straight acting. But they are gay, and not all gay men are straight acting. So you sort of have to move on and get over it.
i think its more that as soon as people see gay men in particular acting in that cartoonish stereotype perpetuated by shows like will and grace almost instantly you lose some credibility, as you feel it (or it appears that you feel it) is more important to play into a stereotypical example of what you should be rather than what you are. And there are also people who intentionally too far that way to get attention.
Any person who entirely defines themselves by what it is considered their gender role should be like isn't somebody i want to know because they have no thought process.
(footnote i dont mind little bits of flamboyance that come with the territory but there has to be some substance to the individual. I would similarly dismiss females who slut up and only talk about clothes boys and clubbing)
But, again, that doesn't mean people do not act fem or are more flamboyant naturally. Because they do. It's not about being a stereotype for many of these men.
Everything you're saying is said by a lot of masculine gays, too. Oh, they give gay people a bad image. Why? Because they don't conform to what is considered normal. It's not a thought process for a lot of these fem gays. It's just that fact they are more feminine, and people can't handle that because it's like they are going against the "man code." It doesn't mean these gays are like, oh, well I'm going to go out of my way to show everyone how gay I can really be. They simply express themselves in a different manner. It's the same way anyone else expresses themselves, it's just different, rather than expressing themselves in a masculine demeanor, they do so in a more feminine way.
You should honestly get to know these people before automatically condemning them.
I do get to know them, i live with two. And they are the stereotype to the extreme. I know there are some who are naturally that fem but i find it hard to believe that is that large of a percentage of them, especially when 90% of all the lesbians i have met were exactly the same as a straight girl except they liked women. I believe a LOT of what is done is trying to act in the way that is seemingly socially acceptable to them.
It not that they don't conform to what is normal (i hate muscle bound twats who only talk about cars aswell) its that they entirely conform to the opposite. Its the concious act of deciding to be that far out there that bugs me. Totally conforming to what people expect you should be just makes you a dull individual.
The overly flamboyant nature was just a tool to express their sexual orientation and be proud of themselves at a time when nobody was, it was a way to stand up for your fellow gay and show you were the same. But they are accepted now, their doesnt need to be a big statement or any big show for attention.
AND THAT DAMN ACCENT, it annoys me on a science level because its the only non-geographic accent on the PLANET which exists purely to draw attention to an aspect of yourself. I mean its a staple of insecurity when you need to go around making sure people know exactly how you are just by your sound.
Probably best you don't requote this don't want a flame war.
