Poll: How do you feel about friends with benefits?
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I think it's a pretentious expression.
Just call it what it is - fuckbuddies. "Friends with benefits", seriously, are people so ashamed of their own sexuality they have to invent expression that would make them seem less slutty or something?
I also have nothing against boinking whoever you want, as long as SSC is in effect, just, for cryin' out loud, don't be smug and pretentious about it >.>
Just call it what it is - fuckbuddies. "Friends with benefits", seriously, are people so ashamed of their own sexuality they have to invent expression that would make them seem less slutty or something?
I also have nothing against boinking whoever you want, as long as SSC is in effect, just, for cryin' out loud, don't be smug and pretentious about it >.>
Wow, a lot of people seem to consider it to be "a quick fuck and then forget about it".
I'm a bit weird and different. Simply put, I never had much support from my parents and I've never had an official relationship. With the result that my friends are very important to me. Still being too paranoid to do one-night-stands (being transsexual puts me at the risk of everything), I'm kind of out of the ordinary game so to speak.
Being poly I tend to be a little attracted to several of my friends. All of them are ok with it and do not mind the occasional cuddle, even if they have their own reasons to not being interested in the naughtier stuff. Sometimes I wonder if my friendships are equivalent to other peoples relationships. An actual girl/boyfriend would be different in that they would be the person that I would want to form a family with. And hopefully doing kinkier stuff with.
All that said, I consider my best friend to be on the same level as an boyfriend. He has been the substitute for a partner all these years. I want to sleep with him, but I have no intentions to get in the way of his love life or relationships.
TLDR: Friends are important to me, sometimes there is a bit of attraction and I wouldn't mind sleeping with them. I honestly do not see how a bit of attraction or sex gets in the way of a friendship. To me it means that I'm comfortable with them and trust them (and that they are in my taste).
I'm a bit weird and different. Simply put, I never had much support from my parents and I've never had an official relationship. With the result that my friends are very important to me. Still being too paranoid to do one-night-stands (being transsexual puts me at the risk of everything), I'm kind of out of the ordinary game so to speak.
Being poly I tend to be a little attracted to several of my friends. All of them are ok with it and do not mind the occasional cuddle, even if they have their own reasons to not being interested in the naughtier stuff. Sometimes I wonder if my friendships are equivalent to other peoples relationships. An actual girl/boyfriend would be different in that they would be the person that I would want to form a family with. And hopefully doing kinkier stuff with.
All that said, I consider my best friend to be on the same level as an boyfriend. He has been the substitute for a partner all these years. I want to sleep with him, but I have no intentions to get in the way of his love life or relationships.
TLDR: Friends are important to me, sometimes there is a bit of attraction and I wouldn't mind sleeping with them. I honestly do not see how a bit of attraction or sex gets in the way of a friendship. To me it means that I'm comfortable with them and trust them (and that they are in my taste).
It can't really last long because after a while someone is going to want it to change. But that is pretty much the point isn't it? for a couple of weeks, months if you're lucky, you get to have sex with someone without any of the time and money consuming baggage. I've seen it work around me (haven't been involved myself) and aslong you immediatly cut it off as soon as anyone wants to change the deal I don't think there tends to be any drama to speak of.
captcha: "call me maybe" o you cheeky devil.
captcha: "call me maybe" o you cheeky devil.
Meh, if people wanna do it then why not?
Still, it's not something I would do personally. I'd just prefer to be with someone who actually loves me. To me a FWB situation is a step down from that. I'm the kind of person who would rather be alone or in a relationship.
Plus a lot of those situations get complicated. But if you can pull it off with no drama then good for you.
Still, it's not something I would do personally. I'd just prefer to be with someone who actually loves me. To me a FWB situation is a step down from that. I'm the kind of person who would rather be alone or in a relationship.
Plus a lot of those situations get complicated. But if you can pull it off with no drama then good for you.
well a friend should be someone you dont just know, but also know well and care about and in that case i wouldnt want to risk someone to get hurt. Sex is a very bonding thing and I think its rare that people can make that work. So either one night stands were its just for the sex, or platonic frienship that doesnt cross that line for the sake of no one getting hurt.
BUT, I think a frienship should allways be the base for a deeper relationship, so if you like each other enough to be friends and find each other ttractive enough to want to have sex, its not really far to the point of being in a relationship.
For me personaly, deep feelings are simply part of sex and sexual attraction, just a friendship wont do there.
BUT, I think a frienship should allways be the base for a deeper relationship, so if you like each other enough to be friends and find each other ttractive enough to want to have sex, its not really far to the point of being in a relationship.
For me personaly, deep feelings are simply part of sex and sexual attraction, just a friendship wont do there.
They don't. Polygons is emotions.Evil Smurf said:
OT: I don't think so. It's just not sustainable. Eventually your friendship will collapse. My experience has been that one of us, i.e. one person in the relationship, will start to develop real feelings which either means a real relationship will begin...or the friendship will end.
I thought it was quite good which surprised me! Justin Timberlake was actually entertaining & Mila Kunis is just as good as ever. Didn't have high expectations but I was impressed. Apart from the ending. Far too shmultzy and obvious.
We are talking about the film right?
We are talking about the film right?
The concept is all well and good but, from experiences I've had, it often ends up going awry. It would have to be a clearly defined relationship in order to stop feelings from progressing/getting hurt.
In my opinion, it's fine to fantasise about having sexy times with a friend (provided it's not too creepy) but as soon as you act upon it it turns away from being 'just friends' and more towards 'boyfriend/girlfriend relationship'. Whilst your relationship hasn't developed on an emotional level, it has on a physical level and, to me, that's enough to define it as 'a relationship'
In my opinion, it's fine to fantasise about having sexy times with a friend (provided it's not too creepy) but as soon as you act upon it it turns away from being 'just friends' and more towards 'boyfriend/girlfriend relationship'. Whilst your relationship hasn't developed on an emotional level, it has on a physical level and, to me, that's enough to define it as 'a relationship'
I personally think it's too risky from a STD perspective, and also because it risks losing friends. I don't care if other people do it, but personally, I wouldn't. I'm strictly monogomous, too, so unless I only have one friend and no romantic partners (which I guess I do >.<), I wouldn't.
It's not for me, but if other people find that it works for them, then who am I to judge?
In a lot of cases they tend to sooner or later come across problems (like one person becoming more attached than the other), but to be honest, that kind of thing can happen in most kinds of relationships.
In a lot of cases they tend to sooner or later come across problems (like one person becoming more attached than the other), but to be honest, that kind of thing can happen in most kinds of relationships.
The only way it works is if you don't respect the other person or find them as having any truly redeeming qualities.
As long as both of you are so wrapped up in your own ego, or view the other as not good enough for you, it can work.
But the moment one of you actually views the other person as someone you love or admire or want to be with, once you acknowledge that they are a great person...that's going to go very bad.
As long as both of you are so wrapped up in your own ego, or view the other as not good enough for you, it can work.
But the moment one of you actually views the other person as someone you love or admire or want to be with, once you acknowledge that they are a great person...that's going to go very bad.
I think it would confuse the hell out of me.
Also make me think I wasn't good enough to be someone's actual girlfriend but good enough to shag...seems super depressing to me :S
Also make me think I wasn't good enough to be someone's actual girlfriend but good enough to shag...seems super depressing to me :S
it can 'work' in the short term, but I find very very few sexual relationships work in the long term and friends with benefits is no exception. It's probably more tumultuous then regular dating, but I have no data to back that up, just a gut instinct, but regular dating barely "works" so, what the hell, yolo.