Poll: I just came from facing two thiefs.

[UberNoodle]

Yes, I have been kicked in the nads pretty hard a few times and it does more than 'piss off' a person. However, the damage done by a jab to the face depends entirely on how effectively it was performed. Believe it or not, many people are scared of punching and they pull punches instinctively. Also, if the thugs had a gun, or claimed they did, they may have stood far enough away that the jab was over extended, thus reducing the power. The OP could have pulled back and reduced the power of the jab as well. If it was a straight punch, the force can be reduced in this way. If it was a hook and it only glanced, it would also be less effective. It it struck the OP in the temple, he'd be pretty rattled but I have met people who somehow 'roll' just such strikes and get through them pretty well.

Now, I am not saying that his story is true. I have no idea, but he's bragging, regardless, and embellishment is part and parcel with that. But let's say he came across typical 'bark is worse than their bite' opportunist thugs, they messed up both their attacks, through lack of experience or plain bad luck, and he scared them off; it's possible. Could they be out looking for him now and try to maim him when they find him? That's also possible.

Regardless of how much the Punch hurt, the simply action of being punched in the face would have at least startled him, meaning that he should either fallen down or even just stumbled a bit. In that case the attacker wouldn't have stopped long enough to recoil and also get into a fighting stance. Especially since they already have the money and cellphones.

That's possible but it we have no idea WHERE he was punched in the face or how hard or effectively. If this story is even remotely true, it is most likely a 'the fish was THIS BIG' ellaboration, BUT ...

And I wasn't talking about pain. I was talking about force, which causes pain, more often than not.

 

[Sam17]

You know, someone may have made this joke before but I just realised the title of this thread could be taken waaaay out of context...

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

I took Judo for a while once when I was young. I don't remember any of it, nor could I ever employ it in a combat situation.

Once, whilst walking back to my lordly estate, completely lawn-mowered of course, which explains the fact I wasn't able to react by calling my manservant Jeeves to the rescue (now he does have superhuman reflexes, but only because of terrible experiments I once subjected him to... for science though, so it's all quite alright), I was waylaid by two rather unscrupulous individuals.

Come to think of it, they perhaps were my two eldest sons, whom I disowned a few years ago to avoid paying for their education. Eton had corrupted their minds anyway (I went to Harrow - it's much better). But that's not the point.

The point is that they then proceeded to brutally damage my wallet by removing money from it. I was unable to defend myself, having forgotten all my previous training in Judo, because I only did it for a few years at a young age (this reminds me of a similar case - I wonder who, *hint hint*). They then killed me and made off with the lucre, and my gold pocket watch and monocle.

Luckily, as a Time Lord, I regenerated and despite all the odds, regenerated back to exactly how I looked before the horrific and barbarous assault they had enacted upon my personage.

The moral of the story here is, that some training in a martial art when you were young does not particularly help.

You know, someone may have made this joke before but I just realised the title of this thread could be taken waaaay out of context...

I like thieves as much as the next person but it is quite improper to tell anyone anything like that.

 

[Shycte]

Yes, I will totally believe a guy on the internet saying he kicked the ass of a guy much bigger than him through the use of karate and Jeet Kune Do.

Karate he had only studied for 2-3 years when he was a kid and Jeet Kune Do he only had a mild interest in.

That makes him Chuck Norris!

Who wouldn't believe a story so amazing and believable like this one?

Might want to tell the police about this, at least give them an idea about the incident.


If you could identify the thevies, you could help them get put in jail, or at least give the police a heads up incase the thevies ever try to come back for revenge.

Still, no offence, but I sorta have a hard time buying this, mainly for the reasone's mentiond by Hulibub.

Maybe i have to explain a little of background. I´m from argentina, where thieves are bums and cops are like chief gorgory. They didn´t really have a gun, they just say that so kids get scared. And i have asperger, maybe that explain why i barely feel any pain. That and yoga and meditation.

Wait what? Asperger syndrome has nothing to do with feeling pain, it's a mild form of autism to put it in casual terms.

 

[Pimppeter2]

Yes, I have been kicked in the nads pretty hard a few times and it does more than 'piss off' a person. However, the damage done by a jab to the face depends entirely on how effectively it was performed. Believe it or not, many people are scared of punching and they pull punches instinctively. Also, if the thugs had a gun, or claimed they did, they may have stood far enough away that the jab was over extended, thus reducing the power. The OP could have pulled back and reduced the power of the jab as well. If it was a straight punch, the force can be reduced in this way. If it was a hook and it only glanced, it would also be less effective. It it struck the OP in the temple, he'd be pretty rattled but I have met people who somehow 'roll' just such strikes and get through them pretty well.

Now, I am not saying that his story is true. I have no idea, but he's bragging, regardless, and embellishment is part and parcel with that. But let's say he came across typical 'bark is worse than their bite' opportunist thugs, they messed up both their attacks, through lack of experience or plain bad luck, and he scared them off; it's possible. Could they be out looking for him now and try to maim him when they find him? That's also possible.

Regardless of how much the Punch hurt, the simply action of being punched in the face would have at least startled him, meaning that he should either fallen down or even just stumbled a bit. In that case the attacker wouldn't have stopped long enough to recoil and also get into a fighting stance. Especially since they already have the money and cellphones.

That's possible but it we have no idea WHERE he was punched in the face or how hard or effectively. If this story is even remotely true, it is most likely a 'the fish was THIS BIG' ellaboration, BUT ...

And I wasn't talking about pain. I was talking about force, which causes pain, more often than not.

Okay, think of this scenario

A mugger asks you and your friends for your wallets. Your friends give him the money. You refuse to. He stabs you

Does he

A) Run away, he already has the wallets.

B) Stay and wait for you to recover from the shock of being attacked.

I don't doubt that the kid couldn't take a punch to the face depending on the circumstances, what I do doubt is that the muggers would stay and fight the kid. Especially since they already have the valuables. Muggers aren't known for their integrity.

Next, I doubt that he would be kicking the kid in the legs, considering that he has punched him in the face and could have done so repeatedly after the first punch.

I also doubt that his mugger friend wouldn't have helped him. Considering that the other two friends aren't willing to fight. Again, Muggers aren't known for their integrity. Why would he honor a "fair fight"

Thirdly, after the mugger kicked him in the balls (unless he has balls of steel this would surely mean that he had to at least cover them. The bugger would not use this second opportunity to punch the kid again or run away.

FOURTHLY, I doubt that his friends would be asking him to stop a fight he was winning, considering that the muggers had their valuables

And finally, I doubt that considering he just beat the crap out of the mugger. He would let them leave without having them return the valuables.

 

[Captain Pirate]

If you could beat the shit out of them, why not get your stuff back?

Aspergers explains why you don't feel pain? I'm afraid that doesn't quite make sense.

I'm afraid... obvious troll is obvious.

And yeah, wtf. Aspergers doesn't stop pain. I have Aspergers, and being kicked in the balls HURRRTS.

 

[Zhukov]

Your poll lacks an "I call bullshit" option.

 

[DeathChairOfHell]

Yeah, man!

That reminds me of this one time, at band camp, there was this bear, he was all like "GRRRROOOOOOORN!!!!" and he attacked me and my super model girlfriend is yelling at me to leave the bear alone and not kill him so I just beat him up as he swiped at me like "WOOSH!" and I did a flip over his big bear claw and as I'm flipping in mid-air I grab his bear claw and dislocate it and then he bites me in the leg and I don't feel anything because my legs are invincible from my years of training as a green beret and navy seals so I then yell at the bear at the top of lungs and he gets scared and runs away to bear home and then I kiss my supermodel girlfriend and walk away.

It so rad.

HA! Green Beret and Navy SEALS? You girl! My hobby of fighting werelemons (they're like werewolves, only more citrus) requires training from the SAS and vampire hutnting Vatican hit squads. Also, I'm totally asthmatic which makes me immune to bullets smaller than .99 calibre! You have me beat on the supermodel girlfriend, though - my job as an interplanetary superspy means it's hard to keep a girlfriend who understands that I have to sleep with hundreds of six-breasted slave dancers to get information on their nefarious lords...

It sucks being me

you call THAT manly? i once went up to a guy and said : you're ugly! then he went home and cried! no, wait, i got punched, then went home to cry! dammit that ruins my divine internet reputation!

 

[DeathChairOfHell]

I know a true story too.
There was a troll who worked on a bridge as border security. There were goats on one side and a beautiful valley on the other.
One day an illegal immigoat tried to cross, the troll wouldn't let it. The goat offered a bribe, fresh warm goat milk. The troll thought it was kinda gross, but he was really thirsty so he closed his eyes and partook of the delicious caprine mammary juice.
The next day, another goat tried to cross, the same thing happened, but this goat warned of another immigoat that wouldn't be as willing to offer bribes.
Sure enough another goat came the next day. When caught, the goat turned to walk away. The troll called it back however, saying that he could be persuaded to let it cross. Catching on, the goat made the offer and was allowed across.

And that's the story of The 2 Nanny goats and 1 Billy Goat Gruff.

In regards to stories on the internet, I suggest everyone do like Naruto and BELIEVE IT! Its just more fun that way.

and this has what to do with the thread? or did you just want to tell us a neato story?

 

[DeathChairOfHell]

I went to the movies at midnight with two friends. On our way back, two mens bigger than us stop in front of us and say "We have a gun, give us all" (Not the exact words, in first place i´m from Argentina) My friends started giving them things, i said "if you have a gun, show it then" One of them punch me in the face. I make a badass fighting posse, he starts kicking my legs (two or three years doing karate when i was a kid made those babys unbreakeable for mere mortals) then kicked my nuts (i hope HE hasn´t got too hurt from doing it). Now i was pissed. I grabed his leg in mid-air and prepare for doing some Bruce Lee shit (im into a little of jet kune do too) But one of my friends keep yelling that we should leave, and i spare the guy´s physical integrity.
That pretty much was what happen. My friends lost a cell and some money each one. I didn´t put a couple of irrelevant details but you get the idea of what happened.
PD: Sorry about the writng. I don´t usually write in english.

*reads title only*

ew. you came from two thieves mugging you? sick pervert.

that amused me quite a bit kind sire.

 

[DeathChairOfHell]

*sigh*

Right, I won't engage with the arguments here that are currently going on, I'll just say that I have Aspergers syndrome, and it doesn't confer higher pain tolerance. Not at all. The closest I can think of is that sometimes you sort of "Zone out", shut yourself off and just focus on what you're doing, and I suppose if someone hit you during that time, you wouldn't notice it as much, but facing off against 2 big guys, adrenaline flowing? No way. Just, no way. I'm going to take a totally unsubstantiated stab in the dark and guess that you're probably self-diagnosed, yes?

So basically, I think you're a liar. And a bad one at that. For anything further, I agree with what Hubilub said.

i didn't know so many escapisters(?) had aspbergers.

 

[jjofearth]

They call me the Bamboozeler! "what color does a smurf go when we choke it?"

purple?

 

[Dapsen]

Wow, I have no idea what you just told me. It was just like "I took a massive beating, but because I'm immortal, that ***** got own3d. And then we left".
So uhm... Yous trollin'.

Also: Cool story bro.

 

[The Stonker]

Bwhahah! I would have made a manly pose and terrified them with my bokken which I carry with me at all times since I got attacked by 3 rapists o_o.
End of story =D

 

[fletch_talon]

I know a true story too.
There was a troll who worked on a bridge as border security. There were goats on one side and a beautiful valley on the other.
One day an illegal immigoat tried to cross, the troll wouldn't let it. The goat offered a bribe, fresh warm goat milk. The troll thought it was kinda gross, but he was really thirsty so he closed his eyes and partook of the delicious caprine mammary juice.
The next day, another goat tried to cross, the same thing happened, but this goat warned of another immigoat that wouldn't be as willing to offer bribes.
Sure enough another goat came the next day. When caught, the goat turned to walk away. The troll called it back however, saying that he could be persuaded to let it cross. Catching on, the goat made the offer and was allowed across.

And that's the story of The 2 Nanny goats and 1 Billy Goat Gruff.

In regards to stories on the internet, I suggest everyone do like Naruto and BELIEVE IT! Its just more fun that way.

and this has what to do with the thread? or did you just want to tell us a neato story?

I thought it was relevant to the thread topic as it was a neato story about a troll.
Seriously though, everyone else was writing little stories and accusing people of being trolls, I figure it was about as relevant as that.
To be honest the whole thread seems kinda daft so I thought we (the escapist) were doin that thing where we post completely and increasingly off topic crap until the thread is inevitably closed or lost to the archives for lack of discussion value, or boredom with calling the OP a liar.

 

[Arawn.Chernobog]

I might have believed your story... until you said "Bruce Lee shit"...

Delectable tale, chum.

 

[Iron Mal]

Yes, I will totally believe a guy on the internet saying he kicked the ass of a guy much bigger than him through the use of karate and Jeet Kune Do.

Karate he had only studied for 2-3 years when he was a kid and Jeet Kune Do he only had a mild interest in.

That makes him Chuck Norris!

Who wouldn't believe a story so amazing and believable like this one?

I studied a mixture of (and obtained high gradings in) Judo, Ju Jitsu, Kendo, Eskrima and Kick Boxing over the course of eight years, in theory this means that I should be able to reduce a man to a fine paste with my bare hands (and with one hand behind my back) and that I should be able to stop shotgun shells by using my testicles as a shield.

Martial arts don't work that way, they can increase your chances in a fight but they don't make you a hybrid of man and titan (I still recoil in pain and have to rest a while if I get kicked in the Daddy bags).