Poll: I just came from facing two thiefs.

[KiruTheMant]

Yes, I will totally believe a guy on the internet saying he kicked the ass of a guy much bigger than him through the use of karate and Jeet Kune Do.

Karate he had only studied for 2-3 years when he was a kid and Jeet Kune Do he only had a mild interest in.

That makes him Chuck Norris!

Who wouldn't believe a story so amazing and believable like this one?

Might want to tell the police about this, at least give them an idea about the incident.


If you could identify the thevies, you could help them get put in jail, or at least give the police a heads up incase the thevies ever try to come back for revenge.

Still, no offence, but I sorta have a hard time buying this, mainly for the reasone's mentiond by Hulibub.

Maybe i have to explain a little of background. I´m from argentina, where thieves are bums and cops are like chief gorgory. They didn´t really have a gun, they just say that so kids get scared. And i have asperger, maybe that explain why i barely feel any pain. That and yoga and meditation.

Aspergers make you no badass,more often than not it just makes you twitchy,I should know,I have it,and Bipolar.

-SARCASM INSERT-
I'M ALSO A GREEN BERET NINJA KRATOS DINOSAUR CYBORG AREN'T I SO AWESUMZ
-SARCASM END-

 

[brunothepig]

I thought it was relevant to the thread topic as it was a neato story about a troll.
Seriously though, everyone else was writing little stories and accusing people of being trolls, I figure it was about as relevant as that.
To be honest the whole thread seems kinda daft so I thought we (the escapist) were doin that thing where we post completely and increasingly off topic crap until the thread is inevitably closed or lost to the archives for lack of discussion value, or boredom with calling the OP a liar.

Ah, good times, good times. Yeah, for the record I don't believe this story. At best, you be embellishing. At worst, you be trolling.
Oh, and fletch? Cool story man.

 

[Snowpact]

Yeah, man!

That reminds me of this one time, at band camp, there was this bear, he was all like "GRRRROOOOOOORN!!!!" and he attacked me and my super model girlfriend is yelling at me to leave the bear alone and not kill him so I just beat him up as he swiped at me like "WOOSH!" and I did a flip over his big bear claw and as I'm flipping in mid-air I grab his bear claw and dislocate it and then he bites me in the leg and I don't feel anything because my legs are invincible from my years of training as a green beret and navy seals so I then yell at the bear at the top of lungs and he gets scared and runs away to bear home and then I kiss my supermodel girlfriend and walk away.

It so rad.

Ladies and gentlemen, we've got ourselves a winner.

Although I think he vented all that nationalistic Argentinian rage at those two muggers for being kicked out of the World Cup by Die Deutsche Mannschafft...

 

[Abedeus]

What he said, the pain of a nutshot can never, and I repeat never be "neutralized".

Actually, if you do a pelvic thrust, with your feet away from each other at a distance of about 20-30 centimeters and you flex all of your leg muscles, you can block a kick to the groin. I mean, a vertical one - if someone jump-kicks into your nuts or punches them, only a steel plate can prevent you from making the OOMPF sound.

Dude this one time I totally punched out cthulu. No biggie, dude wanted my McDonalds, I'm all like, "Hey, being of eternal darkness, just step off, okay bro?" and he's all up in my face n shit, being all like "I am the lord of damnation, give me your McNuggets!" ***** learned straight up you don't mess with me. This is MY hood.

You can't punch out Cthulhu, you can't even spell his name out loud correctly, nobody non-Slavic can.

Prolly a cosplayer.

 

[Kukakkau]

Firstly if you called this guy on not having a gun then why did you friends still do nothing while you "fought back"?
Secondly mugger number 2 seems to disappear during this story
Thirdly there is no chance you caught someone's leg so easily after taking a hit from someone as big as you claim to the head
Fourthly you must not have a lot down there to be completely fine after taking a hit to the nuts - even a glancing blow can cripple
Fifthly you have this karate knowledge but decide to try and use it last minute...then leave without doing anything

On that note who wants to meet my best friend Sparkles?

 

[Kukakkau]

Ok ok I'll dig out my EMT textbooks again just one moment.


Here we go
"The inner skull has many sharp, bony ridges that can lacerate a moving brain"
Emergency Care 11th Edition, page 753
Published by Brady
Authors: Daniel Limmer, Michal F. O'Keefe
Medical Editor: Edward T. Dickinson MD. FACEP

That good enough for ya?

Sounds about right, however they aren't sharp enough to cause lacerations unless the impact is very strong. Hold brain in place but not too tightly as to restrict fluidity - hence sharp punches causing knockout as the brain bruises off the back wall of skull

The man knows his stuff

 

[jultub]

I'm sorry, this is a really bad pun, but I see it every time I see this post name showing up (seeing how it's in the most popular bar I see it a lot right now ). You CAME from facing two thieves? That's more than a little weird if you ask me.

 

[RatRace123]

It sounds like you could've ended it if you want to. Would I have the same opportunity, I'd have taken it.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Or maybe i want some opinions because i may have done something really stupid that could have ended my life. ¿Why would i want respect from the internet, anyway?

You did something stupid that could have ended your life.

You're winner

Your avatar is awesome because it's from LOST. Good job. You win a free Frozen Donkey Wheel:

Spoiler: Here it is!

Do with what you will.

 

[Rakkana]

Hehehe, play mind games with them and if their still sure they want to do it beat them up. What I always do. I have to wait for them to throw the first punch though or I'll loose my Taekwondoe license. Even if I use other martial arts! Pfft, damn police. Always taking the wrong side.

 

[Jackalb]

You should have hulked the fuck out.

 

[Ghostkai]

This one time, I was chilling in my moon base, when a hunting party of Predator's attacked me. I flexed my huge muscles at them and they became my friends.

Then a T-Rex wearing space marine armour assaulted our friendship tea party, it killed all the Predators with ease, but my rock hard legs (from a couple of years of karate as a child) broke the Space-Dinosaur (a blog assures me thats the correct term) in half. So internet, am I a badass?

OT: I gotta say OP, it just sounds so farfetched, aspergers or not (seriously, what?), you don't just shrug off being punched in the face then kicked in the balls by a man. As Hulibub said, what you described isn't a playground scrap.

 

[Wedlock49]

And everyone knows that if you study yoga and meditation, you will never feel any pain whatsoever, even when doing things like fighting while angry, which has nothing to do with either things!

I'm entirely sure how to read this... but meditation does help you control yourself... and when you have experiance in it you can very much dislocate yourself from feelings of pain, mind over matter and all that.

However, cool story bro.

 

[Omnific One]

Or maybe i want some opinions because i may have done something really stupid that could have ended my life. ¿Why would i want respect from the internet, anyway?

You did something stupid that could have ended your life.

You're winner

 

[Brandon237]

Two or three years of Karate = Iron legs.

I should know, I do karate. What you are referring to there is adrenalin. Not training. If you had made him prove he had a gun here, you wouldn't be on the Escapist.

I'm just not buying this, I am afraid you get these guys far too often:

 

[GiglameshSoulEater]

well let's say did really happened.

why didn't you totally killed him if he kicked you in the balls? in the balls hurts like a Fucker no matter your training.

and on that note i call this bullshit. because no man can stand if a big guy kicks you in the balls. (even a young kid kicking you in the balls should hurt like hell!)

What he said, the pain of a nutshot can never, and I repeat never be "neutralized".

I constantly suffer testicular attacks. Just two examples.
Get up - smashed my sack on a sharp table corner.
Was doing a cadet exercise in the woods once - like a rake from a cartoon, stood on one end of a log/stick thing, it pinged up hit me in the balls. Kinda funny... a lot later.
At karate practice - thrust kicked in the family jewels by a blackbelt twice my body weight and muscle mass.

From your logic, my balls should be made out of solid steel.

They arn't. Every day at least once it hurts like unholy hell.

 

[Palademon]

Yes, I will totally believe a guy on the internet saying he kicked the ass of a guy much bigger than him through the use of karate and Jeet Kune Do.

Karate he had only studied for 2-3 years when he was a kid and Jeet Kune Do he only had a mild interest in.

That makes him Chuck Norris!

Who wouldn't believe a story so amazing and believable like this one?

Might want to tell the police about this, at least give them an idea about the incident.


If you could identify the thevies, you could help them get put in jail, or at least give the police a heads up incase the thevies ever try to come back for revenge.

Still, no offence, but I sorta have a hard time buying this, mainly for the reasone's mentiond by Hulibub.

Maybe i have to explain a little of background. I´m from argentina, where thieves are bums and cops are like chief gorgory. They didn´t really have a gun, they just say that so kids get scared. And i have asperger, maybe that explain why i barely feel any pain. That and yoga and meditation.

Of course! Because Asperger syndrome has nothing to do with hindered social interaction, it just makes you an immortal badass!

And everyone knows that if you study yoga and meditation, you will never feel any pain whatsoever, even when doing things like fighting while angry, which has nothing to do with either things!

I have Aspergers syndrome...apparently. I'm not quite sure about it since all I've been told is that it's what's given to me because people choose to be asses towards me...not sure how that's anything to do with my personality. I don't like mentioning to teachers, or about me having ADHD, because if I do they treat me like some special help retard that somehow happens to be intelligent. But seriously Aspergers syndrome does not make you feel less pain, and I certainly dont have enhanced skill in butt kicking. I believe I would be a rather vicious fighter, but I have not won a fight so far and would rather avoid them, despite having sadistic fantasies about everyone who looks at me funny.

 

[Brandon237]

"Jaja" is the way we write "haha" the people who speak spanish, i like to keep my language roots. Get used to it.

This story is extremely hard to believe. I have done Karate for 8 or so years and continue to do it and I can say that my legs still hurt when they get bashed on the damn furniture.

And when you are on an English site you have to speak our language. Get used to it.

See my above post for further information.

 

[Brandon237]

When I read "I went to the movies at midnight" I all of a sudden though you went to see Eclipse...you saw Eclipse didn't you?

But yeah, that sounds like total bullshit to me. I agree with Hubilub.

Toy story 3.

Yes, I will totally believe a guy on the internet saying he kicked the ass of a guy much bigger than him through the use of karate and Jeet Kune Do.

Karate he had only studied for 2-3 years when he was a kid and Jeet Kune Do he only had a mild interest in.

That makes him Chuck Norris!

Who wouldn't believe a story so amazing and believable like this one?

Might want to tell the police about this, at least give them an idea about the incident.


If you could identify the thevies, you could help them get put in jail, or at least give the police a heads up incase the thevies ever try to come back for revenge.

Still, no offence, but I sorta have a hard time buying this, mainly for the reasone's mentiond by Hulibub.

Maybe i have to explain a little of background. I´m from argentina, where thieves are bums and cops are like chief gorgory. They didn´t really have a gun, they just say that so kids get scared. And i have asperger, maybe that explain why i barely feel any pain. That and yoga and meditation.

Of course! Because Asperger syndrome has nothing to do with hindered social interaction, it just makes you an immortal badass!

And everyone knows that if you study yoga and meditation, you will never feel any pain whatsoever, even when doing things like fighting while angry, which has nothing to do with either things!

Actually, one of the sympthoms could be bigger pain tolerance.

You don't say?

Let's ask my father, Jakob, educated Psychotherapist.

Jakob, does asperger syndrome give you a higher pain treshold?

"No, it does not"

Thank you.

So you are talking out of your ass.

First: let´s keep it civilizated.
Second: http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com/2007/12/aspies-and-pain-tolerance.html
Third: http://autism.lovetoknow.com/Gym_Class_and_Asperger
Four: ¿Should i keep going? Google it yourself. Your father could be the best psychotherapist on the world, but if he didn´t especializes on asperger he probably won´t know a thing or two.

"Aspies are very good at ignoring pain, particularly if they're engaged in their special interest. The sorts of pain most commonly "ignored" by aspies are things such as muscular/nervous pain, rather than wounds." quoted right from here http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com/2007/12/aspies-and-pain-tolerance.html

So unless your special interest is getting robed and beat you need a new excuse.

I love fighting. ¿And why is everybody telling that i got robed and/or beat? I walked away because my friend asked it, and didn´t give them a penny. And they were two, ¿remember? and just one of them punch me once and did some pointless kicking. If you call that a beat i hope nobody ever try to break your nose or something, that´s got to put you, at least, in a coma.

Ok fine in the act of being robbed(he was performing a robbery by trying to take your money) you found out you not only have a pin tolerance, but nerves that don't work. As I said before you have to many nerves in your testicles to not fall over after being kicked there, as for knowing what I'm talking about I go to the gym and box, that's hard to do with gloves and other protective equipment on, your talking about a kick to the nuts, repeated strikes to the leg, and a jab to the face(that i should remind you will make you dizzy and disoriented not because of pain but because your brain just snapped to the back of your head and hit itself on the tiny spikes in your skull). Your ether plain out lying, your your the god damn batman.

¿Who say it was a jab? And -i repeat- it wasn´t a perfect hit to the nuts.

It doesn't have to be perfect! If you actually have nuts you will know that even the most pathetic glancing blow will leave you feeling sick. A kick there will result in the inability to fight for a rather long time. You are lying, or at least embellishing. I always say keep an open mind, but having a mind at all tells me that this is the nonsense of an anonymous person with net privileges.

 

[Jedoro]

To everyone saying it's completely impossible to fight after being hit in the balls, I'm going to say it's *possible.* In a planned, stand-up fight in high school, my opponent's opening move was kicking me in the balls. Maybe it's because I knew a fight was coming and had the adrenaline going, but it didn't phase me and he quickly got scared. Yeah, I beat his ass in the fight, but I felt the pain after it was over.

Circumstances are fairly allowing for a high pain tolerance at the time, but it is possible to shrug off the pain for a minute or so. Afterwards, I was doubled over and taking deep breaths, though.