Poll: If Jesus ran for president, would you vote for him?

[Scout Tactical]

"Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ;"
(Ephesians 6:5 NAB)

I'm not really gonna get in an argument over this, but I'm pretty certain it's "servants obey your masters". It is in the King James (most famous) and American Standard (most relevant for an American election?)

I dunno. I think that's an important distinction.

 

[THAC0]

Presidential debate
Can you tell us how your past experience has prepared you for the job of president. Senator, you may reply first.

Senator: Well, i think that i have a proven track record of integrity that the voters understand. I have created jobs in my state while at the same time cutting government spending. I have had to make some hard calls. When I came into this office the state was in a situation of economic collapse and we have made leaps and bounds to improve that. At the end of the day things have improved in my state during my years in office.

Jesus Christ Son of God: I DIED for YOUR sins.

 

[Zhukov]

Various actions such as spending much of his time in each city encouraging and offering hope to prostitutes, shepherds, and other "people of sin".

Wait... shepherds are sinful? What's so bad about watching a herd of sheep?

You obviously haven't heard the jokes have you. Let's just say wool facilitates grip nicely or so I hear.

Oh.

In retrospect, I really should have seen that one coming.

...

Does this mean undertakers are also automatically sinners as well?

 

[Xenetethrae]

This is a poll I've been curious about; knowing that a good amount of the American population that'll vote for someone because of their religion or how often they say god bless America.

So, Jesus Christ returns and runs for president.
If you need to know anymore, his stances are based on biblical teachings. Love thy neighbor (ie Mexico), gays are bad, etc.

Uh, pretty sure Jesus would be pissed at all the mexicans for stealing his name. And why would he think gays are bad?

And if in the hypothetical situation where Jesus is unquestionably real and has come back to Earth (nevermind the fact that it would be the "second coming" and the apocalypse would soon ensue and we'd all die) who wouldn't vote for him?

The only reason there is any dichotomy in this poll is because of the poor poll phrasing (and the gay remark)

Jesus could end the national debt!!! If he worked miracles nonstop for 351 years straight (by turning a bunch of water into wine and making a bunch of fish and bread from slightly less fish and bread) we could sell all the food and be debt free!!!!

Plus he'd make Moses the Secretary of Defense! Oh, you don't want to do what we tell you Russia? Well how about if we kill all your firstborn children? (jk russians, if there are any here)

 

[bl4ckh4wk64]

Well, he's gotta be better than the piece of shit we have in office right now. Then again, the whole "peace solves all problems" is a big issue. Certain people won't accept peace. Mostly just Africa, Iran, and North Korea. I'm not too sure the whole "if someone hits you give them your other cheek" thing would do very well in a modern situation.

 

[Nieroshai]

Various actions such as spending much of his time in each city encouraging and offering hope to prostitutes, shepherds, and other "people of sin".

Wait... shepherds are sinful? What's so bad about watching a herd of sheep?

You obviously haven't heard the jokes have you. Let's just say wool facilitates grip nicely or so I hear.

Oh.

In retrospect, I really should have seen that one coming.

...

Does this mean undertakers are also automatically sinners as well?

YES!
On a serious note, according to Christianity it's human nature to sin but it is also possible for redemption, so someone being a sinner really should be a nonissue as long as they're not a danger to society.

 

[irani_che]

An Arab guy? become president? Unlikely

 

[Skeneo]

Has anyone on this thread realized that, if jesus was even alive, he wouldn't be able to run because he isn't American?

 

[CharrHearted]

Isn't Jesus a suffering messiah, not a political one, to serve not to be served? I'm an atheist and I know that XD.

 

[geldonyetich]

From what I gather [http://www.cracked.com/article_18948_5-real-deleted-bible-scenes-in-which-jesus-kicks-some-ass.html], I'd better vote for him. Otherwise, I'm likely to contract a major dehibiliting illness or something.

 

[Aris Khandr]

I have to ask, why are Christians so hung up on the homosexuality thing?

Leviticus 19:28 - Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.

OK, so tattoos are forbidden. Why aren't you calling for every tattoo parlor to be shut down?

Leviticus 11:7-8 - And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you. Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcase shall ye not touch; they are unclean to you.

No bacon, no ham, no (American) football. All of these things are going strong without a word against them.

Leviticus 11:9-10 - These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat. And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you.

Every Red Lobster that serves shrimp, clams, or crab needs to be shut down NOW! No?

1 Timothy 2:9 - In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array

Every jewelry shop needs to go. No braided hair. No pearls. Why aren't you crusading against any of this?

All of that is forbidden, most of it in the VERY SAME BOOK (Leviticus) as the verses that forbid homosexuality. Yet all of those things are common, accepted, and embraced as part of modern culture? Why is that one verse so special that it still has to be followed when the rest is ignored?

 

[Dimensional Vortex]

Didn't Jesus die when he was 32 thus making him ineligible to be president? If not, are we talking kids style Jesus or 13 apostles Jesus?

I thought he died at 33, oh well I might be wrong.

I guess I would, but he wouldn't teach evolution and many forms of science which would probably annoy me. I mean talking to people who have such a closed view of the world and who think that the universe is only 6000 years old would piss me off a lot.

 

[Dularn]

No,

He would have extremely outdated views and social policies (gay marriage, birth control, abortion, freedom of religion, etc) and no clue about economic management.

In addition I believe government needs to be secular so that it can represent all members of a state without religious bias.

Not to mention that being an atheist it would be like voting for what imo is a fictional figure created as a metaphor for the religious ideals and characteristics of christianity.

inb4 the religious masses trying to tell me my opinion is 'wrong', I am 'going to hell', etc. I don't care what people believe, it is your own choice and I won't tell you what is right or wrong. This is my opinion, deal with it.

 

[Naheal]

I have to ask, why are Christians so hung up on the homosexuality thing?

Leviticus 19:28 - Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.

OK, so tattoos are forbidden. Why aren't you calling for every tattoo parlor to be shut down?

Leviticus 11:7-8 - And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you. Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcase shall ye not touch; they are unclean to you.

No bacon, no ham, no (American) football. All of these things are going strong without a word against them.

Leviticus 11:9-10 - These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat. And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you.

Every Red Lobster that serves shrimp, clams, or crab needs to be shut down NOW! No?

1 Timothy 2:9 - In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array

Every jewelry shop needs to go. No braided hair. No pearls. Why aren't you crusading against any of this?

All of that is forbidden, most of it in the VERY SAME BOOK (Leviticus) as the verses that forbid homosexuality. Yet all of those things are common, accepted, and embraced as part of modern culture? Why is that one verse so special that it still has to be followed when the rest is ignored?

People are dumb. They use Christianity to justify their own prejudices.

I would like to point out that the original word that was translated to "abomination" would be far closer to "taboo," so, while frowned upon, it's really that bad.

 

[Nazulu]

No, he failed miserably last time he tried to bring peace to the world.

EDIT: Take that as trolloling if you like, but I think it hasa valid point.

Agreed, never looked for justice and happiness in the 'dark ages'.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

I don't think Jesus could be a politician at all much less one that gets to the point at which either the Republicans or the Democrats would want him as thier candidate. But if for some hypothetical reason he ran for office instead of doing what the bible said he would you can bet your site membership that he'd get my vote

 

[Naheal]

Only way is to kill their human controllers

This is a bit of a silly situation, but I'll give it a shot.

If humans are controlling the beasts, then there are obviously some form of transmissions taking place in order to to issue said commands. Unless we're talking about a direct neural interface involving a human that's obviously right there (which is unlikely), we'd be dealing with the possibility of jamming said communications. Further, if we're being forced into violence and Jesus has been in command for any period of time, it'd be logical to assume that research would have been conducted to perfect LTL weaponry. Unfortunately, without any other course of action available, rendering your enemies unable to fight would be the only possible solution.

They are inside the dragons, fused together. Only way is to pry open the dragon and kill the human inside.

Sorry, im really bored. Next lecture in 30 min...

This is bordering on dumb, now.

Hence the apology

Don't worry about it. I tend to analyze situations like that in a (relatively) reasonable and realistic manner. Really, unless we did something to seriously screw something up, I'd put money that we'd be a western hemisphere Switzerland with him as pres.