Poll: If you were spanked as a child, do you think it made you a better person?

[RaikuFA]

Yes. Pain was the only punishment that got through to me. Without it, I would be my brother, who was not beaten. He is not exactly the best individual.

You all had it easy, I got the belt.

so did i

 

[Terminate421]

NOBODY gets spanked nowadays.

Dear god this next generation of children is going to be a bunch of wussies

 

[Nyaliva]

This is to quash a claim on another thread that anecdotes from people who were spanked aren't proof it works and another person questioned when opinion becomes survey data?

Assuming this may be a reference to something I said, I'd just like to point out that conducting an inherently biased survey on an online forum will not serve to dispel the claim that anecdotal evidence does not a good argument make.

Actually it wasn't something you said, but also I'm not trying to produce objective research data to once and for all say that spanking should be done to everyone. I'm just trying to show those who say "Spanking is terrible and should never ever be done" that spanking doesn't automatically make you bitter and resentful and learn that violence solves anything, but in fact it teaches younger children right from wrong when talking doesn't work. I'm not saying everyone should spank their child, simply that it can work and has worked in the past. That is the evidence this survey will procure.

 

[Shade184]

It definitely made me a better person. I got the belt, and I think it helped reinforce the discipline on a deeply personal level that made it stick with me.

My dad would send me to my room (and if he was angry, he'd wait until he calmed down before coming in with me), he would gently but firmly tell me what I did wrong so I knew exactly what I was in trouble for, and he'd have me kneel beside my bed and bend over it. I would get a couple smacks with the belt - enough that it hurt, but not enough that it harmed. If I struggled, he'd wait until I stopped struggling, tell me what I'd done, and I'd get an extra one.

It hurt at the time, but it certainly did more harm than good. I'm lucky that my dad was just about it rather than going belt crazy.

My sister and I got the belt. My littler brothers didn't. You can guess which of us are currently doing much better in life.

 

[AK47Marine]

When I did something spank worthy at school my parents would tell me when I got home, then make me do my homework while the suspense built up. By the time it actually happened I was practically wetting myself. I support spanking because when I got spanked for something you could bet I would be doing it again.

This, a whupping never hurt any one

 

[Dragonclaw]

Not only was I spanked, but being raised in the 70's my parents owned a store bought paddle that was marketed SPECIFICALLY for spanking your children.

That being said I had to F-up pretty badly for them to bring it out and when they did there was always a lot of conversation before and after about the severity of what I did. I wont say I'm a better person because of the spanking, I AM a better person because it was a lot more than a beating and sent to bed. Sending me to my room for time out was retarded....yeah, punish me by sending me to a room with all my toys, my TV, stereo, and the yelling part was over? How would I learn anything form that?

While I'm not at all against spanking I don't think Ive needed to use it. Fortunately I inheritted "the look" from my grandfather...that man never had to lift a finger to me or my sister and it brought us to tears confessing any number of wrongs. I've been REALLY lucky that m son responds very well to that

 

[Nyaliva]

Truly, a parent must be either extremely lazy, stupidly conservative, or of an inferior mind if he/she must ever resort to spanking or beating. A single slap can be justifiable in certain cases, but spanking? Whatever you say, Cletus.

I despise people saying this because I know my parents are intelligent, well rounded, good-hearted people. I love them and would do anything for them and yet they spanked me. In fact, I think them BETTER parents for spanking me because I remember many times when they tried everything else and it didn't work. I REMEMBER refusing to listen to reason and just wanting my own way and then I got a smack. It taught me that I can't always have my own way and doing stupid shit is just stupid. Other methods may work and may have worked for me but smacking was quick and it did the job. You say barbaric? I say efficient. And if you ever want to contest it, I'd like you to meet my parents.

My father's a records manager for the state government but everyone mistakes him for a bouncer and my mother is the Assisstant Director for Quality and Safety at a local private hospital. They raised three children, both at the age of about 25 with only my dad working and my mother studying. They taught us right from wrong and spanking was just one of the methods they used but by gum it worked.

So anyone and everyone with this mind-set, please stop...you make me cry...

 

[WaReloaded]

I think I'm a more disciplined person nowadays because of how I was raised, I have an excellent relationship with my Parents but I was a difficult child (up until around 9ish, then I just mellowed out significantly) so my Dad would occasionally punish me, I don't remember a great deal of it though but you could say that it helped put me into the responsible/disciplined state I'm in now.
However, I've noticed that my younger Sister has turned out quite different, she wasn't spanked as a child and nowadays she's bratty and obnoxious, but that's just my 2 cents on her.

 

[Nyaliva]

he same cannot be said for every child, just because you were raised that way does not make it inherently right.

I wasn't the only one raised that way. So were my cousins. And getting away with everything? Do you think that's what it means to not be spanked or grounded? I've never had a tantrum in my entire life whilst I was with my father and neither did my cousins. In fact, our respect for him was what led us to behave the way we did. We respected him for being the kind and loving person he was. He managed to use reason to keep us in line and if he could do that with kids aged 7 to 16 then I'm fairly sure everyone can. He took the hard way and he earned our respect and for that I rarely stepped out of line and the same applies to my cousins. We didn't fear getting spanked or getting grounded. We feared disappointing him. And I suppose that's part of the reason we were who we were.

Spanking is always used out of anger and frustration. You're angry because you can't keep your child in line and you're frustrated because they don't listen to you.

I'm glad you were able to be raised that way but many children aren't. And it's usually in those pre-7-years-old years that the spanking is actually necessary. Many children don't care about disappointing their parents, they just want to do what they want.

Spanking is not ALWAYS used out of anger or frustration, many times I and my sisters were threatened spankings beforehand. We were warned when it was coming and our parents, while being stern, were patient, they gave us a chance to reconsider. If we didn't listen, they followed it up with what they promised.

Many people don't know what spanking actually is and so DO use it when frustrated but I know how it's supposed to be done through first hand experiences.

 

[TWRule]

I don't see how you can rationally draw a causal link between being spanked and becoming a "better person".

I was spanked and got the crap beaten out of me by my parents a few times. The only effect I could even by a longshot tie to it was the fact that I'm a little more likely to flinch when people get too close, and I have a habit of keeping my neck/shoulders tense to brace for hits to them.

Everything I learned about responsibility and morality, I learned on my own. And part of that was that there's really no excuse for beating your children.

 

[Nyaliva]

Really? Because last time I checked human beings were very much animals.

But we're above animals, are we not? The simple fact that I can have this discussion with you proves that.

Our parents raise us the same way in which a ***** raises her pup.

Why is that not a mistake? Shouldn't we use superior tactics since we're, from an evolutionary standpoint, more intelligent than animals? I mean fuck, we've reached the goddamn moon and yet we're unable to find a way to raise our children.

But I digress. Children have to be taught. It is up to the parent how to teach them. What methods they employ are quite frankly not the business of others.

Yes it is and it will always be the business of others once violence gets thrown in the fray.

As evident in this thread it works for some but not for others

It's funny how violence is frowned upon almost everywhere except when it comes to raising children.

Because it's not violence it's discipline. It's an act which teaches consequences, not how violence solves problems. As long as you ensure you're child understands that, smacking will work. And besides, ever heard of the army? It's not violence if you do it for your country according to them and they use many other tactics to teach discipline which can be even worse.

 

[Nyaliva]

WHAT?! That many people voted Yes!?! What is wrong with you people! Beating kids is a sloppy excuse to let anger, not reason and caring, grow a child!

That's just pathetic, Escapists. I am Disappoint

I'd like to clarify for everyone who has this "violence begets violence" thing. Spanking is not used to shut a kid up (or at least it shouldn't be), it's used to teach consequences. The whole hitting to teach not to hit is not being hypocritical, it's saying "You hit, you get hit". If the child had never hit anyone for no reason (or small reasons) then they would not get hit for no reason. Granted, other methods could work better because children tend to pick up on hypocrisy before reasonable consequences. It's a method used when "reason and caring" don't work, because many children when wanting something or doing something they shouldn't don't care about reason or their "future well-being". I know I didn't and those were the only times I was spanked, when my parents tried reason and it didn't work. But they never caused me to harbour resentment. They were never sorry when they spanked me but they always made sure when I listened I was rewarded or when it was an accident (at least one which could have been avoided) they used less harsh methods of punishment.

Violence does beget violence, when it's used without reason. Spanking is a tool to aid discipline, teach right from wrong and show consequences. Nothing more. I will admit many people don't know this and so spanking probably shouldn't be codoned but if you know it was done right, you'll be sure to use it yourself.

 

[Nyaliva]

To me, spanking is an alternative for parents who are unable to actually be parents.

Let me just get this straight...you condemn all parents who have ever used spanking as useless parents?

No. I'm saying that violence will lead only to more violence. That violence is never the answer and that if you're unable to face the hardships of raising a child without the use of violence then you should ask yourself why you became a parent in the first place.

You violence will lead to more violence yet it looks like half the people on here will tell you from personal experience that it wasn't the case.

And the reason for this is because when they were spanked they were small children. They did not have the power to fight back. This is why you don't spank teenagers. If spanking was a good form of discipline then it would make sense to continue using it through teenagehood. But it's not used through teenagehood. We use variants of grounding or not use punishments at all. The moment the "child" can fight back is the moment parents stop using violence against him/her as they know they can fight back.

Exactly, what we're trying to say here is that in the early years, spanking is a quick reminder of right and wrong for kids who don't know better. Once they get older you CAN reason with them and they no longer see spanking as a reminder, it's just pain. You need other methods such as taking away the computer to teach them more long term effects of actions. When they're younger they don't understand this, they simply can't see how not having a computer today is the result of something they did last week, but a spank is immediate. Dogs are they same, if it poops on the carpet you show them the poop and scold them, you don't just put them outside, they'd have no idea why you're angry.

 

[Nyaliva]

You violence will lead to more violence yet it looks like half the people on here will tell you from personal experience that it wasn't the case.

Except, it is the case. From the people who were spanked, a greater number of them approve of spanking. They were exposed to violence, and approve of it as a method. However, the people who wasn't spanked generally disapproves of spanking. And let's be clear, spanking is not only violence, it is violence against a child. So yeah, violence does lead to more violence

Yes but it's not because they think violence is good, hell I've never been in a fight in my life and hope never to be in one but I'll damn sure spank my kids if they don't listen to reason. Not because I'd like it (actually I'm a little worried I'll hate it so much I'll do it once and then never want to do it again, letting my kids do what they want because I've lost my ability to discipline), but because I KNOW it's an effective way of disciplining young children. If you read the comments of those who agree it's because they know it sends the right message, not because they think their parents loved it (although they probably would've thought that at the time).

Many people who were spanked don't support it and from the comments it's because they received actual beatings or it caused them lasting physical or mental harm. So more severe violence begets...no violence?

 

[Signa]

All I know is I'm the first of 6 kids, and the later 4 my parents stopped spanking are fucking retards. Well, #6 is a pretty cool kid, but he's only four years old so who knows how he's going to turn out. #3 and #4 need some harsh treatment that they are never going to get, and #5 is just stupid. I don't think spanking would help much there.

Just for clarification, #3 is a self-entitled brat, and #4 never listens to anything anyone ever says to him. You can flat-out tell him not to do something, and he will keep doing it. Then he will deny that he did anything wrong.

 

[jpoon]

Yes, I was spanked and hell yes it made me a better person, it definitely stopped me from doing things I wasn't supposed to so it works like a charm. Keep on spanking the shit out of your kids parents! Two thumbs up to the parents who aren't afraid to raise their children with a well deserved spanking when needed!

 

[Nyaliva]

ut don't make sweeping statements about 300 different sets of parents just because you don't believe in it.

I will make "sweeping statements". Spanking is the easy way out. Of course I'm going to consider a parent lazy for spanking them since they wouldn't bother take the harder route.

Don't you dare say my parents are lazy and couldn't be bothered to take the harder route. They raised three children under the age of 7 whilst one was working and the other was studying, paying a mortgage and keeping food on the table. They took the hardest fucking route and they used spanking as one of many methods of punishment. They didn't use it because they were too lazy to parent, they WERE parenting in the most efficient way they knew and you know what? It worked. So don't tell me shit abut my parents because you have no idea. Your father was awesome? Great, kudos to him but my fucking parents are the best fucking parents I could ask for. So you make your sweeping statements but it's statements like that which have prevented harsh punishments on minors. I'm not talking spanking anymore, I'm talking "you steal a car at age 15, you go to juvy". I don't think bringing back spanking is going to make everything better in an instant but we need to bring something back to teach kids consequences.

Saying that spankings stop when you grow into a teenager because you're now able to "fight back" is just absurd.

You're correct. Teenagers will gladly accept a spanking and it will totally do more good than just talking to them. Do you honestly believe that or are you fucking with me?

He's not saying spanking still works into teenage-dom, he's saying you stop spanking because you can, by that stage, actually reason with the kid. You can sit down and talk rather than just hitting. This is less effective with younger kids. I know it worked with you and fan-fucking-tastic but what we're saying here is that it DOES work. Maybe not all the time but some of the time certainly. And you don't stop hitting because they can now "fight back", you stop because it's no longer necessary, you don't need a short sharp punishment, and in fact they likely won't respond to it. You use reason because now, it'll actually work.

Sorry if I sound a bit pissed but I will not stop fighting, not because I think spanking is amazing but to quieten all the douche-bags who think it's a lazy parenting method for stupid parents.

 

[nukethewhales]

It was the only way to keep me under control, and i don't resent my mother (or father) for doing it, it made me a better person in my opinion.