Child or not, if my 'significant other' cheated on me, then I would leave. Clearly this other man is more 'significant' to her than I am, or the whole situation should not have occurred. The fact of the matter is, even if I were to stay, I would forever be suspicious that she may do the same again, which would be a harder life for everybody involved as opposed to just leaving.
Poll: If Your Significant Other Cheated, Would You Help Raise The Baby
- Thread starter Seldon2639
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I'd help raise the baby, this is assuming of course that "Help raise the baby" means "Throw that cheating ***** outta my house".
Hmph. Tough question. I'll open by noting that the poll options are rather skewered and subjective. I picked "I'd stay, depending", mostly because I -think- I'd stay, but I'm not sure. The mentioned criteria (baby's gender, the ability of the biological father to assist) doesn't enter into it much, though. The gender would be irrelevant for me, and the ability of the biological father to stay the hell away would be much more appreciated.
I suppose whether or not I'd stay depends a lot on my girlfriend. Is she sorry for what has happened? Is she cutting contact entirely with the man she's cheated with? Both of these would be absolute requirements on my part. Also, I'd demand that we go into couple's therapy.
Assuming that the situation was at a point I could accept, I'd move on and raise the child as my own. If it wasn't, I'd leave, and not look back.
I suppose whether or not I'd stay depends a lot on my girlfriend. Is she sorry for what has happened? Is she cutting contact entirely with the man she's cheated with? Both of these would be absolute requirements on my part. Also, I'd demand that we go into couple's therapy.
Assuming that the situation was at a point I could accept, I'd move on and raise the child as my own. If it wasn't, I'd leave, and not look back.
I respectfully disagree; I think that's a far too black and white conclusion. Of course, that -may- be the case. I do have several friends (of both sexes) who have cheated on their partners. Rarely has it been a case of the cheating person considering their lover to be more 'significant' than their partner. Usually, it's been a very complex situation and dissatisfaction with their current state of affairs, culminating in the person making a stupid decision at a weak moment. Sure, cheating on a partner is a low thing to do. But there are always reasons why we do what we do. Whether or not those reasons are legitimate, or whether they help explain/excuse the act, is entirely subjective.Kailat777 said:
This, I definitely understand. Unless you could move on from it, it would likely be a very skewered, unhealthy relationship.Kailat777 said:
This just happened to me. My fiancée cheated. I wish I was kidding. Yeah, I'm staying. If she cheats again, I'm gone. Pretty tough situation, caused a few fights with me and her. But... I'm staying with her, and we're not keeping the child. She wants to, but it just isn't practical, financially or emotionally. Definitely not expected, definitely an unpleasant situation. I guess I'm either crazy in love with her, or maybe crazy stupid (or possibly both) for staying, but hey, what's life without a little bit of stupid now and then? The biological father can't assist at all, and I'm really not the guy who leaves my friends and loved ones out to dry when things look bad.
And I'm going through the suspicion right now. It is harder, but you gotta do certain things a certain way sometimes. At least, that's how I see it. I know the exact feelings of how "the other guy is more significant" and stuff. Hurts like hell, but staying's a choice I'm happy with.Kailat777 said:
I've been cheated on in 3/4 of my relationships... Girlfriends that don't even wait to know me intimately and say they want to wait, but have sex with others. It's insulting, and I would fully expect her little man crush to help her. THe baby shouldn't suffer, so last resort I would help her find an adoption centre, but the child isn't my burden. I would have enough on my mind knwing another woman cheated on me.
I know I sound cruel, but I'm quite frankly tired of women (or men) that say they love someone and want their first time to be special, only to find out they're with someone else. Communication is a big thing in a relationship. If you can't comunicate, stay single and don;t bring your fling's child into my life
I know I sound cruel, but I'm quite frankly tired of women (or men) that say they love someone and want their first time to be special, only to find out they're with someone else. Communication is a big thing in a relationship. If you can't comunicate, stay single and don;t bring your fling's child into my life
I'd leave like a shot, but not just through not wanting to raise another's child, but because I believe a child should be raised in a healthy environment and knowing I just wouldn't be sure how my resentment would manifest itself in the home environment of a blameless child.
Children are sensitive and I'm sure they would pick up on even the most well concealed vibe of resentment and distrust.
Children are sensitive and I'm sure they would pick up on even the most well concealed vibe of resentment and distrust.
Ehh... maybe. It depends on how serious my relationship is, and how much I care about the child.
Clicked stay on purpose. I'm halfway regretting staying with her, I'm in this situation at the moment. Long story, ask me thru chat or whatev if you want to know more.Kragg said:
So... you're insulting someone because they are trying to do what they think is right in a tough situation like this? Sir, I may be an idiot, but I'm not spineless. There are other factors than just whether they're worth dating despite infidelity. Not everyone cheats because they're not "in love" with their significant other. If they mess up once, I see no harm in giving another chance and making it clear that if they screw up again, then their on their own. That's what I'm doing. Giving my girl one more chance, if she eff's it up or betrays my trust, then I'm out. It's not as easy as saying "You don't love me, so I'm out of here." It's a much more complex and emotional issue than just that. Generally, "significant other" means someone you're very very devoted to, not just some random girlfriend. There is a lot more to deal with. If you stay, you have to worry about her cheating again, as well as supporting her through her tough time. I'm not even factoring in the economic pressure. If you leave her, after all you've probably gone through, then you have to live with a guilty conscience, as well as the emotional stress of leaving someone you love, plus you have to try to pick yourself up and move on, despite getting burned in the past. There's many more factors that I'm leaving out. I'm going through this exact situation, I think I know what I'm talking about. I'm still wearing the engagement ring. It's not an easy situation, whether you stay or whether you leave.Bobsonnn said:
It wouldn't get that far. There are stairs everywhere in this world. One slip solves the issue.
I jest of course. I probably wouldn't stick around. It's pretty clear that I wasn't enough, and pregnancy would kind of set it in stone. Therefore I'd just take off and say "If you wanted him, go have him."
I jest of course. I probably wouldn't stick around. It's pretty clear that I wasn't enough, and pregnancy would kind of set it in stone. Therefore I'd just take off and say "If you wanted him, go have him."
um if she got impregnated from some other guy i may stay or leave depends on if she started it or if she was raped. if she did it on purpose id leave her definetely. i dont want to be with someone who betrays you
God, betrayal is a biiiiiitch. I just have a lot to say about this topic. It's fairly fresh in my mind.michaelfinnie said:
my girlfriend/wife cheating on me would prob tear me apart inside. Betrayal of trust is the greatest insult to me. It wouldn't be pleasent to see what happened next... I would leave my girlfriend/wife, that would tear me up more, then hunt down the father of the child. It would not be good to be that person...
It does tear you apart. Speaking from experience. But why repay betrayal with betrayal? That's how I see it, any way.Chogg Van Helsing said: