Poll: Is it ok for parents to spank their kids?

[C.O.C]

I'm for it maybe not spanking that seems a little creepy nut If I misbehaved and I'm not talking something minor but If I did something stupid after being told not to do it I got a slight smack on the head it didn't send me flying across the room just stung a bit but I stopped doing stupid things pretty quick.
I'm not saying it's okay to beat the shite out of the child or even to use physical discipline for everything they do wrong but If it's something serious and they've been warned you have to follow through otherwise you do it again because you can get away with it without consequences.
In the UK it's illegal to physically discipline a child and youth crime statistics are going up.

 

[Dense_Electric]

Pretty sure I've seen this thread a few
That about sums up my views on the situation, resorting to hitting your kids to get them to behave just smacks of incompetance and impetuousness.

It really doesn't. Once again, it's like yelling at a dog. Sure, they know they did something wrong, but what really comes of it? You need some actual form of punishment. Taking away their toys or video games or computer or whatever only goes so far. A few smacks never hurt anyone (though a lack of them might have).

No,hell no. The fact that your kid is a demon it's your fault coz you didn't knew how to grew him. Beating him will not make up for your mistakes.

Spanking =/= beating.

The reason children are demonic little Satan kids half the time is because they're not mentally or morally developed, not because "you didn't raise them right" or whatever. They don't understand the wider implications or consequences of things, or why they can't always get what they want right now. The only thing someone under the age of about ten or eleven really understands is punishment and reward. It's the same way you'd train a dog - when they do something right, they get a treat. When they do something bad, a bit of pain goes a long way. You don't have to beat the shit out of your kids, you just have to hit them hard enough to cause a bit of shock value. I was spanked quite a bit as a child, I assure you I turned out quite fine.

Yeah I'm sure you and me think spanking =\= beating(even if not the shit out of them) but that's not what all the blue phones or whatever each country has as child protection services says.

As I said if you are not able to raise your kids you shouldn't have got one.

I don't know how the situation is in other countries, but I don't know of any parent here in the US that's been reprimanded for spanking their child (and if they have been then that area is seriously fucked up). Beating their child, sure, but a few spanks?

 

[Worgen]

yeah but its one of those things that really easy to do wrong, the punishment shouldnt be about the pain so much as the possibility of pain, if you do it right then the threat of it should be enough and the build up for it should be dramatic enough so that they die a thousand times in their own mind before the punishment even comes

but still if it gets to that point then chances are you did something wrong anyway

 

[manic_depressive13]

It's the same way you'd train a dog - when they do something right, they get a treat. When they do something bad, a bit of pain goes a long way.

But you don't need to train your dog like that. If they start peeing on the carpet, firmly saying "No" and taking them outside is just as effective as bringing a newspaper to their face. Sure, using a newspaper may well do the trick. It won't do any damage and yes, they will forgive you. But why the fuck would you hit something if you can communicate the same message with a firm word?

 

[Dense_Electric]

It's the same way you'd train a dog - when they do something right, they get a treat. When they do something bad, a bit of pain goes a long way.

But you don't need to train your dog like that. If they start peeing on the carpet, firmly saying "No" and taking them outside is just as effective as bringing a newspaper to their face. Sure, using a newspaper may well do the trick. It won't do any damage and yes, they will forgive you. But why the fuck would you hit something if you can communicate the same message with a firm word?

Because it doesn't. Saying NO gets the idea that they've done wrong into their head, but the newspaper is what teaches them not to do it again.

 

[Blow_Pop]

It's the same way you'd train a dog - when they do something right, they get a treat. When they do something bad, a bit of pain goes a long way.

But you don't need to train your dog like that. If they start peeing on the carpet, firmly saying "No" and taking them outside is just as effective as bringing a newspaper to their face. Sure, using a newspaper may well do the trick. It won't do any damage and yes, they will forgive you. But why the fuck would you hit something if you can communicate the same message with a firm word?

Because it doesn't. Saying NO gets the idea that they've done wrong into their head, but the newspaper is what teaches them not to do it again.

I have to agree being that we have now trained 10 or more dogs in our house through the course of my life just saying "No" and putting them outside does not work for every dog. I tried that with our lab when she sleeps in my room. It took me swatting her arse to get her to stop chewing on my shoes and to stop peeing/shitting in my room.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Pretty sure I've seen this thread a few
That about sums up my views on the situation, resorting to hitting your kids to get them to behave just smacks of incompetance and impetuousness.

It really doesn't. Once again, it's like yelling at a dog. Sure, they know they did something wrong, but what really comes of it? You need some actual form of punishment. Taking away their toys or video games or computer or whatever only goes so far. A few smacks never hurt anyone (though a lack of them might have).

Firstly, did you just compare children to dogs? Secondly, there's no need to resort to that, you can be perfectly capable of disciplining your kid without the risk of fucking them up or resenting you. Using beatings as corrective punishment just comes across as lazy and it really doesn't solve the problem, sure the kid is quiet, but what have you done to him pschologically? What are you teaching your kids by showing them that a beating is a perfeclty acceptable means of silencing someone?

 

[manic_depressive13]

It's the same way you'd train a dog - when they do something right, they get a treat. When they do something bad, a bit of pain goes a long way.

But you don't need to train your dog like that. If they start peeing on the carpet, firmly saying "No" and taking them outside is just as effective as bringing a newspaper to their face. Sure, using a newspaper may well do the trick. It won't do any damage and yes, they will forgive you. But why the fuck would you hit something if you can communicate the same message with a firm word?

Because it doesn't. Saying NO gets the idea that they've done wrong into their head, but the newspaper is what teaches them not to do it again.

.... Have you ever even had a pet? Saying NO works. The end. You can claim using a newspaper also works, and I will believe you, but don't pretend that using words doesn't work, because the first-hand experience of both myself and many other pet owners, as well as scientific research, says otherwise.

People who advocate spanking always use arguments that reek of bitterness and logical fallacies. "I got spanked and I turned out fine." So what? There are other ways of doing it, and spanking is just so easy to get wrong. The very fact that you think hitting things is an effective way to solve problems is proof that you did not turn out fine.

 

[10BIT]

How about some scientific studies instead of anecdotes:

http://www.parentingscience.com/spanking-children.html

TL;DR:
- Spanking is less effective than other forms of discipline;
- Spanking outside the ages of 2-5, with emotion, designed to injure, frighten, or humiliate, or in an area were spanking is uncommon is detrimental to the child's development;
- Spanking at any age leads to the child being more aggressive than usual.

Thus, based on these studies, spanking is not okay; there is no scenario were spanking would be the best option.

It's the same way you'd train a dog - when they do something right, they get a treat. When they do something bad, a bit of pain goes a long way.

Incorrect. Studies have shown that using pain to train a dog makes them fear you and hide this bad action was from you, rather than to stop doing it. I couldn't find the study I was thinking of, but this webpage [http://www.dogwelfarecampaign.org/implications-of-punishment.php] seams to have an in depth look into the problems with punishment.

 

[Gigano]

No.

If any person ever laid a hand on me, (s)he would face imprisonment. I really don't see why the law should afford any less protection from violence to small children than it should me.

 

[Nisselue]

In Norway it's against the law to physically harm your children in any way.
And no i do not think it is OK to spank children.
My mom did it one time as far as i can remember and it didn't really help, and it was just humiliating to tell you the truth. xD

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

No. To my mind, there should never be a situation where you'd need to. There are plenty of ways of disciplining children that don't require hitting them that will be just as effective.

EDIT: Hitting children only serves to teach them that hitting is an effective way to deal with someone who isn't doing what you want them to. I'd say it's much better to explain to them why what they did was wrong the first time they do it, and after that discipline them in a way which doesn't require hitting them.

I would dispute this, as when I was a child, me and my older brother both had smacking used on us as a punishment, and we've both grown up to be some of the least violent people we know. Probably because we were only smacked when we'd done something really serious (well, serious for 5 year olds anyway) and when we were punished we were always given an explanation for why we were being punished that we could understand. In fact, my brother was smacked far more than I was and he's the one who's turned out the best. I don't think he's ever been in a single fight with anyone other than me in his whole life.

So yeah, my two cents? So long as you're not doing it too hard, or too frequently, and you always apply context to it, it works.

 

[b3nn3tt]

No. To my mind, there should never be a situation where you'd need to. There are plenty of ways of disciplining children that don't require hitting them that will be just as effective.

EDIT: Hitting children only serves to teach them that hitting is an effective way to deal with someone who isn't doing what you want them to. I'd say it's much better to explain to them why what they did was wrong the first time they do it, and after that discipline them in a way which doesn't require hitting them.

I would dispute this, as when I was a child, me and my older brother both had smacking used on us as a punishment, and we've both grown up to be some of the least violent people we know. Probably because we were only smacked when we'd done something really serious (well, serious for 5 year olds anyway) and when we were punished we were always given an explanation for why we were being punished that we could understand. In fact, my brother was smacked far more than I was and he's the one who's turned out the best. I don't think he's ever been in a single fight with anyone other than me in his whole life.

So yeah, my two cents? So long as you're not doing it too hard, or too frequently, and you always apply context to it, it works.

I would argue that it was the explanations that were more benificial, and that the same could have been achieved without being smacked. I think that smacking is wholly unnecessary.

 

[Sjakie]

If all else fails-> apply appropriate force

this goes for everything, especialy children!

like a slap or 2...hard, but not angry

 

[BristolBerserker]

Children learn through pain (unless you are in jackass or dirty sanchez)

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

No. To my mind, there should never be a situation where you'd need to. There are plenty of ways of disciplining children that don't require hitting them that will be just as effective.

EDIT: Hitting children only serves to teach them that hitting is an effective way to deal with someone who isn't doing what you want them to. I'd say it's much better to explain to them why what they did was wrong the first time they do it, and after that discipline them in a way which doesn't require hitting them.

I would dispute this, as when I was a child, me and my older brother both had smacking used on us as a punishment, and we've both grown up to be some of the least violent people we know. Probably because we were only smacked when we'd done something really serious (well, serious for 5 year olds anyway) and when we were punished we were always given an explanation for why we were being punished that we could understand. In fact, my brother was smacked far more than I was and he's the one who's turned out the best. I don't think he's ever been in a single fight with anyone other than me in his whole life.

So yeah, my two cents? So long as you're not doing it too hard, or too frequently, and you always apply context to it, it works.

I would argue that it was the explanations that were more benificial, and that the same could have been achieved without being smacked. I think that smacking is wholly unnecessary.

I'm inclined to say that both parts were equally as important. I don't think either would have worked without the other. I think if I'd just been sent to my room, or had my toys taken away, I would have just become more destructive out of retaliation. To put it bluntly, the smacking put me in my place, and it wasn't long before my parent didn't even need to do it anymore, as just the threat of it was enough to make me back down.

Of course this is just speculation, because I'll never know if the same results could have been achieved with different methods. But I do know that it never did me any harm.

 

[FreakSheet]

I don't think that parents should be teaching that violence upon people is an appropriate way to deal with problems.

 

[Mkid]

as long as you don't HURT them yeah. also in moderation. not a daily bases.
But i don't think i would be able too. Taking toys away, and talking to them should do the trick MOST of the time

 

[adderseal]

The most important thing is to be consistent with rewards/punishments and to stop making empty threats. Leave the kid in no doubt as to what his reward/punishment will be if he does certain things. It won't be that straightforward most of the time of course, but common sense and consistency is the best way to bring up your kids. Also, actual *real* shouting should be only wheeled out on very specific occasions, not used all the time. Otherwise it loses its effect. And the same goes with smacking.