Poll: Is Sex Actually Loving Someone?

[Grabbin Keelz]

You should see the last thread I made.
Lust and love mix together in different ways. Done right and it can be a love bonding experience. Done wrong and it's simply an animalistic need. Humans are one of the few animals that can still have a sex drive while pregnant.

 

[StormShaun]

Well frankly I think that sex and making love is different from each other.

Sex is just lust and doesn't lead to love, its basically not love and just trying to get rid of the urge.

Making love is where you do it with someone you love, which I think makes it much more worth it.

But don't listen to me I'm a virgin looking for someone to love.

 

[girzwald]

Sex is merely a biological function. People make the mistake of interperting that as love.

If you think that, you are doing it wrong.

Back on topic. No, sex does not automatically = love.

 

[PrinceOfShapeir]

Sex is merely a biological function. People make the mistake of interperting that as love.

If you think that, you are doing it wrong.

Back on topic. No, sex does not automatically = love.

No, he's pretty much entirely right. Love and sex are two different - albeit often related - things.

 

[girzwald]

Sex is merely a biological function. People make the mistake of interperting that as love.

If you think that, you are doing it wrong.

Back on topic. No, sex does not automatically = love.

No, he's pretty much entirely right. Love and sex are two different - albeit often related - things.

Then you are doing it wrong too.

 

[CODE-D]

I love my penis every night if they are the same.

 

[AMMO Kid]

Sex and love are total opposites if confused. I know plenty of good people who mistook sex for love and now are paying the price for it.

 

[ZeroMachine]

It can be both. Why is that so hard for some people to understand?

When I had sex with my previous girlfriend, it was a loving act. It was pure elation and love and emotion and caring and it was all for her (not that I didn't enjoy it). It was love.

But I know that, if I had sex with her now, it'd be all about the physicality of it. I still care for her (regardless of what she did to me, won't get into that) but I'm not longer in love with her. That doesn't mean I don't find her attractive, nor does it mean that (were some very strange things to happen, mind you) I wouldn't have sex with her.

Not only that, but I feel like right now in my life I could go for a sort of sexual relationship, without the feeling of total obligation or love. Caring, yes, but I'm not ready for the serious stuff again yet.

Don't mean I don't want to get me some

 

[Ham_authority95]

To answer these questions in order:

Is sex a loving or just pleasuring act?

Sex can be either a loving or a pleasuring act depending on what the person wants from it. Some like it for pleasure, some do it to express love. Some do it for both.

EDIT: Let me ask you this Escapist, if sex does not equal love, then is cheating alright if the person is just after sexual pleasure and still loves their partner?

If, like you said, the person is just after sexual pleasure, than why the hell would he/she waste their time saying that they love the person?

If they really loved the other person, they would openly express what they actually want from the relationship, rather than hiding it in dishonesty. That's when it becomes a problem.

 

[ZeroMachine]

Sex is merely a biological function. People make the mistake of interperting that as love.

If you think that, you are doing it wrong.

Back on topic. No, sex does not automatically = love.

No, he's pretty much entirely right. Love and sex are two different - albeit often related - things.

Then you are doing it wrong too.

Nope.

Sex=/=love. Trust me on that...

But, it can be done as an act of love. PrinceOfShapeir put it perfectly. They're two different, albeit often related, things.

 

[BlazeCruzer]

I was once told this by my girlfriend
"Sex is a pleasure of body.
A relationship is a pleasure of mind.
and love is a pleasure of soul.
When one achieves all three, it is truly bliss."
I hold these ideals close to my heart and think no truer words have been spoken throughout history.

 

[Powereaver]

depends .. sometimes theres love involved like in a relationship for example but sometimes its just for pleasure aka. casual sex or a one night stand

 

[Nuke_em_05]

It's up to the partners.

Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Sex are all pretty context-sensitive. The act of sex is pretty straightforward, but what it means to any given individual varies.

As far as their relationship to each other, that varies as well. Some people tie sex in with relationships and love, others don't. Some people don't tie love into relationships, some do. Some people tie intimacy to sex, some tie it to other activities.

The definitions vary from person to person and couple to couple, or even group to group, but the point is that in whatever "relationship" one is in, it is important to make sure that everyone agrees on the definitions.

Dysfunction comes from unresolved conflicting definitions.

This is what you see in the Maury example. The women believed that sex was part of the "love", and the men didn't. They both "loved" each other, but one thought sex was part of it, and the other did not.

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

If you just want to get off. There's your right hand and a bottle of lotion for that. It truly mystifies me why people pay hundreds of dollars for hookers when you could get off for free without risk of stds. Sex is for someone you love IMO.

 

[Candidus]

Sex is not something I do because I'm in love with you, or to demonstrate affection at all. Sex is something I do when I want to have sex, and when I have a consenting partner who also wants to have sex.

Walking a mile in the freezing wind and rain to the nearest Tesco at 3am on a wintry Tuesday morning because you really want a DVD and a bottle of lemonade, *that* is something I do because I love you.

 

[balanovich]

EDIT: Let me ask you this Escapist, if sex does not equal love, then is cheating alright if the person is just after sexual pleasure and still loves their partner?

I could and want to have sex with other women even if I have a girlfriend that I love very much.
I see relationship as .. a deal,a contract. y girlfriend wants me to be monogamous so I am. I do it because we agreed on it. I'd like an open relationship where either of us are free to have casual sex with others... be she doesn't.

respect is respecting the other and your word.

sex can be emotionless,but if someone is in a monogamous relation, it is cheating.

 

[DRes82]

Its a subjective question. There is no one answer. I personally couldn't have sex with someone that I didn't love and, in my opinion, its morally questionable to approach something as intimate as sex casually. Its why I lost a couple of girlfriends in high school, but its also why I've been with my wife for 12 years now.

As you can probably tell from my thoughts on the matter, I believe cheating is completely unacceptable. It just means that you were too weak to control your instincts, that your base animal urges outweighed your responsibility to keep a promise to someone who is close to you. In short, it makes you inhuman.

 

[Guardian of Nekops]

Alright Escapist, here is my question for all of you:

Is sex a loving or just pleasuring act?

EDIT: Let me ask you this Escapist, if sex does not equal love, then is cheating alright if the person is just after sexual pleasure and still loves their partner?

Well, sex is CLEARLY not always a loving act. That's so self-evident that I don't feel the need to explain it.

However, in the case of your second question it's not the sex that's the problem. There are plenty of open marriages and relationships out there, where both people have plenty of sexual partners, know all about it, and are fine with it, and those work just fine. Sex is not the enemy.

Lying to your spouse, hiding time away from them to meet with someone else, channelling your energy towards an affair as opposed to working on the sex between you which is, aparently, lacking, spending time and money that should be shared between you covering your tracks and attracting partners... these are the problems with cheating, why it's CALLED cheating.

Perhaps more importantly, lots of short-term flings don't happen as accidents. If you wind up in a situation where you end up in bed with someone spontaneously and weren't looking to, where things just get away from you, then there's something emotional there... otherwise, the affair was premeditated. There's really no way to win, there.

 

[PrinceOfShapeir]

Sex is merely a biological function. People make the mistake of interperting that as love.

If you think that, you are doing it wrong.

Back on topic. No, sex does not automatically = love.

No, he's pretty much entirely right. Love and sex are two different - albeit often related - things.

Then you are doing it wrong too.

Would you like to explain that, or would you prefer to keep being patronizing?