Poll: Is Sex Actually Loving Someone?
- Thread starter DrgoFx
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It's interesting. I don't find women that I don't know to be extremely attractive. I'd much rather have sex with a girl that I care about than one that I have no connection with at all. That being said, there are girls that fall into the "doesn't-matter-if-they're-assassins" category. As long as they don't try to hurt or kill me, I'd still "tap that."OmniscientOstrich said:
Firstly, I'm so sure you're a virgin that I'd be willing to bet money on it. Suppose it doesn't matter much, but it bothers me when people feign experience about anything because they're afraid of the supposed reaction their honesty on the matter would bring.DrgoFx said:
Secondly, love and sex are unrelated, rather than linked in any way. In a man's case, when they look at a girl that's (lets be nice here) 'dressed to impress', they're not thinking "boy I could fall in love with her so fast." They're not initially interested in any kind of lasting ties at all, as is the case with nearly all relationships - they nearly always start 100% physical. This isn't a 'bad thing', just the reality that nobody is a psychic, so we rely on information we have at the time, which would consist of 'damn, he/she is hot!'
Though you did hit one nail pretty squarely on the head concerning some cheaters - a few are committed to one person, but still seek out others, sex being unrelated and all. The common myth is that sex is love, which is bogus. However, multiple partners is something that needs to be discussed with their partners beforehand, which almost never is because of the aforementioned fear of their partners' reactions to it.
Incidentally, the number one killer of any relationship can be boiled down to fear of reaction they'd receive from being open and honest. Communication, in short.
Sex != love. You can love someone without sexing them, and you can sex someone without loving them. Sex can lead to attachment, but a relationship cannot be fully built on it. Sex can also reinforce love. A relationship will struggle for long periods of time without sex. Make sense?
That is a case by case basis thing. Some people are ok with an open relationship, most are not. When A cheats on B, there is something A is not getting from B that A needs/wants. B is hurt that A didn't talk about it and just acted. That is just how I view it though.DrgoFx said:
Sex is a pleasuring act. Sure, it can come with love, but it isn't an act of love. Its an action driven by pleasure, that's all. Animals do it in order to further their species, well, also because they enjoy it. Very few animals mate for life, and their is no loving bond between them. Also, prostitution and rape are not acts of love at all. Finally, to answer your question, no, cheating is not alright as an act of pleasure. Its still betraying your partner, whether you love this person or not.
Alexander Hamilton also was responsible for the murder of thousands of Native Americans, I dont trust him on how to love other people.silverpimp said:
It's certainly possible to have sex with someone without loving them. But an extended sexual relationship with someone without any sort of emotional commitment is probably a really bad idea. I hesitate to use the word "unnatural", but... It seems to ignore both the biological/animal/pheremonal side of bonding/mating and the more human/rational/emotional aspects of the act for a supposed ideal that doesn't really have anything idyllic about it.
Depends on the person you speak too, since everyone has different interpretations of love and sex. Like some others have said, sex doesn't necessarily equal love - and I tend to agree. However, sex can be emotional and help a couple form a tighter romantic link or emotional bond because of the state of vulnerability that sex can leave you in; but it helps if you already had/have those feelings in the first place. They tend to call that, 'making love', which is an emotional and romantic form of sex. Others just have want to have sex to feed an animalistic need and will only ever see it that way. They usually equate love directly to other actions such as; purchasing gifts when they don't need to, and doing things for you they wouldn't normally do for someone else. Such as running your errands because you are exhausted and throwing you a surprise Birthday party, or some such thing.
As for monogamous, polygamous, and open-relationships; as long as there is communication between the partners and couples, there really shouldn't be a problem and I am not opposed to these forms of relationships. I am not opposed to a couple who have talked and want to remain monogamous, as long as both realize that both probably still find members of the opposite sex or same sex attractive and may even *gasp* have lustful thoughts over someone else. Really, it seems to be the jealousy for frivolous things and open communication that seem to hurt monogamous relationships the most. When communicating your thoughts and feelings openly should be what makes the relationship strong and increase it's longevity and trust.
As for monogamous, polygamous, and open-relationships; as long as there is communication between the partners and couples, there really shouldn't be a problem and I am not opposed to these forms of relationships. I am not opposed to a couple who have talked and want to remain monogamous, as long as both realize that both probably still find members of the opposite sex or same sex attractive and may even *gasp* have lustful thoughts over someone else. Really, it seems to be the jealousy for frivolous things and open communication that seem to hurt monogamous relationships the most. When communicating your thoughts and feelings openly should be what makes the relationship strong and increase it's longevity and trust.
This. I found this out myself a while back, it's just dumbfounding how I would have thought otherwise.Freakout456 said:
No it's not the same thing but the effects are quite similar, and sometimes those things will overlap.
If sex was a love-based act, there would be no one-night stands. I don't mean to be a downer but it is what it is. It can be about love but it isn't always.
Alternative interpretation: men can cheat on their partners but 'truthfully' claim to love their partners because they have a different meaning for the word.DrgoFx said:
What that might be, I cannot say, but you do seem to have made the asumption that 'love' implies monogamy...
Cheating is not alright, because it breaches the trust that your partner has in you, and without trust, the relationship is doomed.DrgoFx said:
Sex can be both I feel. I'd like to think I've experienced both. I've had sex with a girl just for the sex and I've had sex with a girl that I honestly loved. What I've taken from both is that sex is a lot better when you actually care about the other person. I feel that sex is a super personal thing and can be a powerful expression of love, while at the same time sex can be just you trying to relieve urges. It all depends on who your with.
Sex is a physical act. It can be a part of love, but no emotions are required for sex to happen.
Lying to someone is not loving them. Hurting someone is not loving them. If you love them, you are honest with them, and you avoid hurting them when you can.
If you are having sex with other people and you tell the one you love and they are not hurt by that, it is not cheating. If you speak to anyone who's been cheated on, most of the time it's the lying and betrayal of trust that hurts the most.
I can't help but wonder if the OP has some dubious actions in their recent past they want to justify and / or find validation for.
If you are having sex with other people and you tell the one you love and they are not hurt by that, it is not cheating. If you speak to anyone who's been cheated on, most of the time it's the lying and betrayal of trust that hurts the most.
I can't help but wonder if the OP has some dubious actions in their recent past they want to justify and / or find validation for.