Poll: Kids in my neighborhood

[IWCAS]

Have you ever seen the movie Secondhand Lions? Remember the part where he beats up the kids at the bar? Yeah they needed to be taught a lesson the hard way, and they didn't mess with him for the rest of the movie. Do what you gotta do.

 

[Ham_authority95]

Next time you see em, video tape em, bring it to the cops, problem solved.

I agree with this.

If you were truly intelligent or creative, you wouldn't need to use violence to get them to stop.

 

[IWCAS]

Become Batman

Simple yet effective... I like it.

 

[Shoqiyqa]

Find one on his own. Beat him up and throw him in the river. Find another on his own. Beat him up and throw him in a sewer. Find the next one on his own. Beat him up and stuff him head-first into a bin. If there's a fourth one, get him alone, beat him up, shove him into a Wal*Mart rollcage, put the door on, padlock it and push him down a long hill. Repeat until they give up or you're forced to shoot their parents in self-defence.

 

[Sougo]

1) Polish your shotgun where they can see you. In case you don't have a shotgun use another gun. If you don't have another gun, take the biggest knife in the house and polish it ... with your tongue. Alternatively dip it into ketchup and go around licking it in front of em.

2) Smile sadistically as you make eye-contact with them.

3) While passing by kid, calmly tread on his foot, making sure you put your whole body weight on it. Ignore any reaction. If he tries to confront you repeat step 2.

 

[EboMan7x]

Inform police.

 

[Dr Ampersand]

1) Polish your shotgun where they can see you. In case you don't have a shotgun use another gun. If you don't have another gun, take the biggest knife in the house and polish it ... with your tongue. Alternatively dip it into ketchup and go around licking it in front of em.

2) Smile sadistically as you make eye-contact with them.

3) While passing by kid, calmly tread on his foot, making sure you put your whole body weight on it. Ignore any reaction. If he tries to confront you repeat step 2.

As much as he wants to scare them, I don't think getting himself on a sex offenders list and charged with pedophillia will do much to help his case.

 

[Niracas]

Make them eat their own parents, then they'll be mental for the rest of their lives.

but what if it turns out that you are brothers so they ate your parents too

Bah! You beat me to it!

 

[theironbat46]

If I were you I would be like "SCAT,you rascals!"

 

[ultrachicken]

Contact the police or their parents. Pretty much all you need to do.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

I've lived here for about 3 years and there are a bunch of kids that keep causing trouble. I didn't mind much since they are just kids. But now they getting older and are causing even more trouble. So far I've been called an Asshole, got stuff thrown at me (for example firecrackers), and threatend that they would stab me. (But that was another kid that I haven't seen since.)

Should I beat them up to teach them a lesson about natural selection, or just let it pass over me because they are just kids?

Own a gun? Come out pretending to be blind drunk swinging it around and yelling in rage incohearantly. I can guarentee they will shit themselves. Take the largest sharp object you have (an axe) and do the same. Pretend to be so full of rage that it seems you will do just about anything, they cant do anything to stop you. Find their addresses and let them know you know when you next see them. Then say "sleep tight" and do the best phycopathic look you can.

 

[hyperhammy]

Some of you have issues...

 

[Aesir23]

Ignore them. But keep the police on speed dial in case their antics get worse.

 

[Sougo]

1) Polish your shotgun where they can see you. In case you don't have a shotgun use another gun. If you don't have another gun, take the biggest knife in the house and polish it ... with your tongue. Alternatively dip it into ketchup and go around licking it in front of em.

2) Smile sadistically as you make eye-contact with them.

3) While passing by kid, calmly tread on his foot, making sure you put your whole body weight on it. Ignore any reaction. If he tries to confront you repeat step 2.

As much as he wants to scare them, I don't think getting himself on a sex offenders list and charged with pedophillia will do much to help his case.

I think the OP said he was under 18, so there can't be too big of an age difference.
Secondly, when you want to avoid a confrontation with kids/teens the easiest way to keep them at a distance from you is to disgust them. They won't like you (not that it changes anything in this situation) but they'll stay the heck away from you.
Mission accomplished.

 

[Ickorus]

Two words. Special. Effects.

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Spend a week digging up your front lawn.

Then put in pyrotechnics.

Then slam down a sign that says "LANDMINE FIELD. FUCK OFF".

This wins my vote.