Let me put it this way: sex is less fun than smoking a bowl and jerking it to porn. Believe me, I've tried some pretty wild stuff with several partners, none of it particularly interesting (even with the ones that knew what they were doing).
Poll: Losing your virginity - Overhyped?
- Thread starter Prometherion
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No need to hurry, and definitely no need to brag and belittle others. Sure, it might feel good (unless you're a female with an unbroken hymen and you're a guy and your partner starts crying, and/or it's just plain awkward), but it is really worth it sometimes? I guess it could be the "oh wow this is actually happening" kind of thing that makes it memorable.
I prefer virgins over non-virgins, maybe I'm just insecure though..
I prefer virgins over non-virgins, maybe I'm just insecure though..
There's a big difference between sex and reproduction.
The former is great, but yes - frequently overhyped. And the latter is extremely relative, depending on the situation. It can be the most wonderful thing ever or it can be the greatest curse you can imagine.
The former is great, but yes - frequently overhyped. And the latter is extremely relative, depending on the situation. It can be the most wonderful thing ever or it can be the greatest curse you can imagine.
According to my coworker Omega (yes, that's her real name), getting your first pregnancy scare or abortion at 13 in the southern states is all the rage.
Yeah, I suppose it was. Tell you what was much more fun. Spending an extended weekend (as in, Friday through Tuesday) doing nothing but being with my boyfriend.
We're still together, and hopefully will be for a long while yet.
And unfing away is really overrated. Most exercise I did in a long while, and condoms are even better than thoughts of grandma for making things take longer.
So kids, the moral of the story is: First time sucks. Just spend an entire weekend and make it "first times".
We're still together, and hopefully will be for a long while yet.
And unfing away is really overrated. Most exercise I did in a long while, and condoms are even better than thoughts of grandma for making things take longer.
So kids, the moral of the story is: First time sucks. Just spend an entire weekend and make it "first times".
I wouldn't say there was any peer pressure involved in my experience. Perhaps girls suffer less from that than guys do, however.
As for losing one's virginity, I think it has entirely to do with who you lose it to. I realise that seems entirely obvious, but I think people need to bear in mind that although you can be with the most wonderful person in the world, with whom you are totally in love, sex can still be fairly average. Not necessarily bad, nice even, but just not...spectacular. This can show up particulrly starkly when someone's virginity hangs in the balance - as a virgin you don't know what to expect. You may have seen all sorts of things on TV or out there in the wilds of the Internet, but you have no personal experience. You just have to hope that the person you are with takes good care of you, and make sure that you yourself are mentally and emotionally prepared for the experience.
It's like many other things: you may have beginner's luck, and things go very well the first time, but ultimately what it comes down to is practice... lots, and lots of practice. This is the fun part ;-)
As for losing one's virginity, I think it has entirely to do with who you lose it to. I realise that seems entirely obvious, but I think people need to bear in mind that although you can be with the most wonderful person in the world, with whom you are totally in love, sex can still be fairly average. Not necessarily bad, nice even, but just not...spectacular. This can show up particulrly starkly when someone's virginity hangs in the balance - as a virgin you don't know what to expect. You may have seen all sorts of things on TV or out there in the wilds of the Internet, but you have no personal experience. You just have to hope that the person you are with takes good care of you, and make sure that you yourself are mentally and emotionally prepared for the experience.
It's like many other things: you may have beginner's luck, and things go very well the first time, but ultimately what it comes down to is practice... lots, and lots of practice. This is the fun part ;-)
Shallow? Maybe I'm reading into this oddly, but this strikes me as more a reflection on your sex-life or views on sex, rather than on sex in general. Sex can be a very deep emotion that connects two people in a way that other actions simply cannot. There's no denying it can also be simply a primal means to achieve pleasure, but the guy just has a different opinion to you. It seems you've come in to the discussion thinking that the person you quoted is on about randomly fucking a stranger on a sofa in their mate's house whilst drunk. They could well have meant the kind of spontaneous, romantic sex that some people did have the luck to experience on their first time.tellmeimaninja said:
Just my observations and all.
Anyway, losing your virginity is something pretty special to me. When I hear people lost their virginity in a bad way, to an exploitative guy/girl, or were pressured into it, it makes me very sad for them. Losing my virginity was awkward as hell, but I still enjoyed it with a romantic interest at the time. I have had more pleasurable and more emotionally involved sex since: which makes me think I should have waited for that person.
I don't get it, do i really live in a strange alternate universe?
Pressure , you people say. I ask : what pressure? Seriously, I'm 18 and not a single person in my school (or anywhere else, if i recall correctly) has put pressure about losing virginity. No-one has ever started praising themselves for losing it and laughed at anyone else who hasn't lost it. People just don't talk about such things, i guess. At least there where i live. That is a place most of you don't exactly know.
Yeah, we did have talks about sex at school, but still. It sounds really weird to me that someone is actually pressuring someone else about sex. I mean, come on, it's something private and none of your bloody business. Well, at least that's what i think.
After reading the OP again, i still shake my head and want to say "WTF", because it really sounds weird to me. But maybe this is even quite popular in my country and i might be lucky to never have felt that pressure.
EDIT: just noticed that this was my 300th post. Yay, this is Sparta, etc.
Pressure , you people say. I ask : what pressure? Seriously, I'm 18 and not a single person in my school (or anywhere else, if i recall correctly) has put pressure about losing virginity. No-one has ever started praising themselves for losing it and laughed at anyone else who hasn't lost it. People just don't talk about such things, i guess. At least there where i live. That is a place most of you don't exactly know.
Yeah, we did have talks about sex at school, but still. It sounds really weird to me that someone is actually pressuring someone else about sex. I mean, come on, it's something private and none of your bloody business. Well, at least that's what i think.
After reading the OP again, i still shake my head and want to say "WTF", because it really sounds weird to me. But maybe this is even quite popular in my country and i might be lucky to never have felt that pressure.
EDIT: just noticed that this was my 300th post. Yay, this is Sparta, etc.
Virginity is over-hyped indeed, as is sex and how many people you have had sex with. Never mind the fact that the first time you have sex it won't always be that good, especially for the girls. You're better off just not bothering with concepts of relationship in high school at all really, and just focus on getting through it, it'll save you a lot of stress.
However,(at the risk of sounding like a PSA) your health and safety are very important. Wrap it up, so that you won't regret it later.
However,(at the risk of sounding like a PSA) your health and safety are very important. Wrap it up, so that you won't regret it later.
I do think that losing your virginity is a large milestone to cross. Though not (as many expect it to be) in the experience itself. It rather becomes the point where many overcome the hype of having sex.
Before losing it, your mindset on sex is completely different compared to after.
Before losing it, your mindset on sex is completely different compared to after.
It's not one of the most important, truth be told. Whoever told you that was indeed over hyping a little.
But it kind of is awesome. It certainly can qualify the feeling of adulthood, and can represent a step towards maturity in a relationship. And, naturally, since it's sex, feels pretty damn good.
I think, with respect to sex, the most important would be when you start trying to have a child. Like the first time you have sex with the intention of having a kid, thats got to be one of the most important moments.
Or the consummation of marriage. That's up there too, IMO.
I've not had either of these experiences, I'm no where near ready to consider a kid or marriage (I'm only 22) yet. I'm just theorising.
But it kind of is awesome. It certainly can qualify the feeling of adulthood, and can represent a step towards maturity in a relationship. And, naturally, since it's sex, feels pretty damn good.
I think, with respect to sex, the most important would be when you start trying to have a child. Like the first time you have sex with the intention of having a kid, thats got to be one of the most important moments.
Or the consummation of marriage. That's up there too, IMO.
I've not had either of these experiences, I'm no where near ready to consider a kid or marriage (I'm only 22) yet. I'm just theorising.