Poll: Marriage in the 21st century?

[Julianking93]

But think of the sweat tax-breaks, my friend!

OT:

I think marriage is something good if you know you truly love the person. It is just another way of expressing your commitment to them.

True but... what else? Only for financial gain? Is that really a good reason to get married?
And why can't you just... you know... tell someone you love them and are committed? >.>
I just don't get what being married means. It's just a title, really. "I'm married" doesn't do anything to solidify a relationship. People can still fall out of love and get with someone else and still have problems.
Some people seem to see marriage as a fix for all their problems and it just doesn't work that way.
If anything, it only causes more.

 

[Saelune]

Legal Rights. Government doesnt recognize love, it recognizes paper. As much as you love someone, you wont be able to see them in the hospital, or get any sort of monetary benefits for being with them (life insurance and similar stuff)
It does make a difference to be married.

And other than legal rights, there's nothing.
I don't really care what the government sees or not. And if I didn't live in such a shit country that refuses universal healthcare because then that would mean "teh terrorizzers wuld win!!!1!" then I wouldn't have to worry in the least about insurance problems.

You dismiss legal rights too easily. I wont force anyone to marry if they disagree, but dont be surprised if laws, right or wrong, get in the way of you and/or your lover's future.

 

[Sightless Wisdom]

Marriage only exists for legal benefits at this point. Assuming you're not religious of course. In my case, I would consider marriage for two reasons: first, the legal benefits. The second is that I've always been a bit of a romantic and I wouldn't mind having a wedding with a party full of friends. If I had the money to spare that is, otherwise I would go through the legal part without bothering with a ceremony of any kind.

 

[Unstable Ark]

To me, it seems that marriage is just something people feel obligated to do. They reach a point in a relationship where there's not really much that hasn't been done, so the world expects that they go through with marriage. It just doesn't sit right with me. There are plenty of other ways to show good faith, love and commitment, which I can imagine won't cost nearly as much as a full wedding ceremony. If someone feels that they HAVE to get married or the relationship means nothing, I kinda have to bring insecurity into the question.

Personally, I might or might not get married, I've yet to decide. Regardless, it'll be up to my spouse, assuming she's an honest, no bullshit type. If it comes to that point, I would personally rather have a small legal marriage with only close family and friends, enjoy a nice meal, and head home with a lovely wife. Hell, as long as it isn't a typical church wedding, it's fine with me. I cannot stand church weddings.

Even so, I'd scoff at the idea of being married at my age. I'm only 21 at I think that that's still too young to be considering marriage.

 

[Julianking93]

You dismiss legal rights too easily. I wont force anyone to marry if they disagree, but dont be surprised if laws, right or wrong, get in the way of you and/or your lover's future.

Then I'll perhaps live in a country where the government is so stubborn about it? Didn't think being married equals not being able to see them if their sick but I get the "family members" only thing but if that's the worst case... then I'll stick with just being with someone. From what I've seen anyway, they tend to just ask you to wait in the lobby >.>

 

[Doom-Slayer]

I think in New Zealand it's something like even if you're not married but you live with someone over a certain amount of time you still have to do some kind of legal stuff similar to divorce. Not too sure on the details though, nor do I know why this is.

I thought it was a simple affair but I looked it up and its done on a case by case basis. Basically de facto relationships have the same status as civil unions and you get I think almost all the benefits of a marriage without the actual marriage bit.

Its basically an legal option for those that dont want to get married or have strong feelings against it. For example my "uncle and auntie" arent married and have had a daughter(my cousin) whos like 16, and they have been together for at least 4-5 years before that.

its something Im going to look at as well when my gf moves in, since neither of us are too big on the marriage thing so we dont see the point.

 

[captaincabbage]

I'm gonna say it. Your friends are stupid. I'm not trying to be mean, but it's just an incredibly stupid thing to do that that age. Marriage isn't a thing that you can just waltz into willy-nilly. It takes planning, commitment, patience and first and foremost, money.

I understand exactly how they feel. I've got a girlfriend of three years this year and we're both 19. We love eachother so much it hurts sometimes, but that's no incentive for us to just go and get married. We both recognize that we're changing individuals, who'll keep developing and maturing a lot in the next 6+ years. We both accept that we may lost interest in eachother, and so are prepared to let eachother go if worst comes to worst.

 

[coolkirb]

The reason most marriages fail now is that it is easier to get divorced, not just legally, socially it has become more acceptable to be divorced. Society doesnt put as much preassure on couples and thus they dont often try as hard as they should to work things out.

 

[DarkRyter]

Marriage is about legal kinship.

When you marry someone, you are in essence becoming part of their family, and they become a part of yours. You're adopted by their parents and vice versa (hence the term "son-in-law", etc).

When all marriages were arranged, this was the primary focus. You wanted to align yourself with a good family, have your kid marry their kid.

That is what marriage is. If there's any value in that, I wouldn't know.

Beyond that, I can understand there's a great deal of sentimentality behind marriage. The whole "I'll love your forever til death do us part" is as romantic as it fucking gets. And it's an excuse to have a party.

Also, Hitler wasn't married.

Yeah, I went there.

 

[Double A]

Like others have said, marriage doesn't do anything to a relationship. If it's bad, it will still implode, regardless of legal status. If it's good, well, everyone stays happy, obviously.

You dismiss legal rights too easily. I wont force anyone to marry if they disagree, but dont be surprised if laws, right or wrong, get in the way of you and/or your lover's future.

Then I'll perhaps live in a country where the government is so stubborn about it? Didn't think being married equals not being able to see them if their sick but I get the "family members" only thing but if that's the worst case... then I'll stick with just being with someone. From what I've seen anyway, they tend to just ask you to wait in the lobby >.>

Please inform me if this mystical country actually exists, for I would like to see it for my own eyes. Maybe unicorns, dragons, and flying purple hippos will be among the local wildlife, as well as everyone having both universal healthcare and low taxes.

 

[Julianking93]

Please inform me if this mystical country actually exists, for I would like to see it for my own eyes. Maybe unicorns, dragons, and flying purple hippos will be among the local wildlife, as well as everyone having both universal healthcare and low taxes.

Wasn't referring to any specific country there. They're all stubborn about it. I'm just making a point that the supposed "benefits" of being married really depends on where you are.

 

[Double A]

Please inform me if this mystical country actually exists, for I would like to see it for my own eyes. Maybe unicorns, dragons, and flying purple hippos will be among the local wildlife, as well as everyone having both universal healthcare and low taxes.

Wasn't referring to any specific country there. They're all stubborn about it. I'm just making a point that the supposed "benefits" of being married really depends on where you are.

Yeah, they are all stubborn. But generally, if you want to live with someone for the rest of your life, it's best to marry them. The good thing is you don't need a giant ceremony, all you need is a judge. Swallow your pride to cause less legal headaches.

 

[Sacman]

I dunno it seems really inconvenient and pretty damn pointless but I fancy myself the romantic type so I can't shun the whole idea of marriage...<.<

 

[Atticus89]

I dunno. A friend of mine from a religious family got married at 18 to a Marine and "became" pregnant shortly after that. She's now living in California and takes care of their son by herself.

As long as they know the price of divorce lawyers, I don't see why not.

 

[TheDooD]

I always thought open relationships and polyamory were WAY more natural to the human condition. open relationships prevents all that sneaking around cloak and dagger bullshit that can ruin most normal ones. Both men and women are temped everyday and being punished for it to me is stupid. polygamy is normally looked down upon because crazy bastards take advantage of it and normally take having more then one wife into something like a fucking cult. Yet at the roots I respect when somebody can find a way to support multiple lovers. Just not when it's turn into cultist type bullshit.

 

[J-dog42]

I think in New Zealand it's something like even if you're not married but you live with someone over a certain amount of time you still have to do some kind of legal stuff similar to divorce. Not too sure on the details though, nor do I know why this is.

Yea we have a de facto relationships which amount to the same. There is no paper work required to divorce though. But I would guess that you may still have disputes over who gets what.

OT: I'm planning on getting married after I have my career and stuff on track. Having said that, I have been with my girlfriend for 6 years and I am in no hurry to get married right now. We are going along fine as is.

 

[Julianking93]

Yeah, they are all stubborn. But generally, if you want to live with someone for the rest of your life, it's best to marry them. The good thing is you don't need a giant ceremony, all you need is a judge. Swallow your pride to cause less legal headaches.

And if I no longer wish to be with them? That causes possibly the biggest legal headache of all. >.>
Now don't get me wrong here, I want to meet that special someone who I would want to spend my life with but being realistic about it, that very well might not happen and getting married only makes the break up that much more of a hassle.

 

[KosherGreenBean]

I'm turning 21 in 2 days and getting married in a little less than 10 months to a guy I've been dating for 4 years. I've known that I've wanted to get married since I was a little, little girl. I come from a broken family, but just because my parents are going through a bit of an acrimonious divorce doesn't mean that I'm put off from marriage forever. I have grandparents who have been married for 51 years. That to me is amazing and is something that my fiance and I strive for.
I do, however, refuse to be a typical "housewife" who stays home with the kids while the hubby is the sole breadwinner. I'm 1 1/2 years away from a degree and I want to be able to balance a successful career and be part of raising a good family. That's not to say that I will never cook or clean or anything, it's just not what I want to be all about.
I do understand and know people who are reluctant to get married or refuse to ever get married because they don't feel the need or don't want to get divorced, and I have friends who can't get married. If you don't want to get married, that's fine. If you want to get married for the benefits, go for it. If you want to get married young, great. Wait and get married when you're older? Fantastic. It means something different to everyone.

 

[Escapefromwhatever]

I always thought open relationships and polygamy were WAY more natural to the human condition. open relationships prevents all that sneaking around cloak and dagger bullshit that can ruin most normal ones. Both men and women are temped everyday and being punished for it to me is stupid. polygamy is normally looked down upon because crazy bastards take advantage of it and normally take having more then one wife into something like a fucking cult. Yet at the roots I respect when somebody can find a way to support multiple lovers. Just not when it's turn into cultist type bullshit.

I think you mean polyamory. Polygamy is one male with many female partners.