Poll: Marriage in the 21st century?
- Thread starter floyd_echo
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Like 2012 Wont Happen said its a sign of commitment its the same as saying I am so confedent in my love for you I am willing to vow my lie to you. It also hold religous value and personaly value. It is supposed to be the biggest commitment to another you can make. In my mind if I marry sombody divorce is not a option.Julianking93 said:
I get that you dont really see the point but I really dont see why you have to try and make him feel bad because he does or even get annoyed its not like it effects you. Maybe you dont get it because you have never loved sombody enough for it to apply
Marriage is about the only way of fully legitimizing your relationship in society. Not even with the aforementioned legal benefits, you get married to show society your dedication to a certain person. Not to mention that the marriage itself, if done properly, can be a wonderful and fun experience that's just another chapter in the books of life and love.Julianking93 said:
It's alright it been like 5 years since we gone are separate ways.Princess Rose said:
The whole relationship we had was secret my mom hated every girl I interacted with. If she knew that she was basically staying over almost every night we're would be in trouble. Plus she was also kinda stuck seeing me in secret since her mother worked nights and was overprotective. We were both 17 at the time, she didn't want to scare her mom my getting birth control and I couldn't find condoms that fit. We had a few close calls and we basically decided that our relationship was basically us lashing out at our overprotective parents. We're both knew that we couldn't keep temping fate like that. It wouldn't be good for us to bring in the child we couldn't take care of and fuck up our futures. Our friendship was soild and the sex was great. Yet we knew it couldn't really be like that forever so we broke up so we could mature.
Thank you for writing my post for meJulianking93 said:
. That said, if I ever find this illustrious 'tru wuv' and my partner at the time really desperately wants to get married and if we're at a sensible age/financial situation to do so, then I'll grit my teeth and go along with it for their sake. But really, I don't see why in this day and age people feel like they have to validate their love with this silly little ceremony.
I am 21 and getting married next year, but then we've been together since we were 16.
I think marriage is varyingly appropriate depending on the couple involved. My fiancé and I are religious so we are keen to get married, but that doesn't mean it needs to be cripplingly expensive (in fact I am a student so cheaper is better). I am thoroughly looking forward to being married, but I hate being engaged. my advice would be have as short an engagement as is feasible.
I think marriage is varyingly appropriate depending on the couple involved. My fiancé and I are religious so we are keen to get married, but that doesn't mean it needs to be cripplingly expensive (in fact I am a student so cheaper is better). I am thoroughly looking forward to being married, but I hate being engaged. my advice would be have as short an engagement as is feasible.
Society primarily developed pair-bonding as an adaptation to raising kids. Religion incorporated it to give it validity. Modern society upholds the concept through tax and legal rights conferred by it. If you don't want to spend a ton of money on a big wedding, don't throw one. All you really need to do is have $100 and go to the courthouse (US at least) to sign paperwork, or get a minister to say you're married and becoming one is free online.
Polyandry is not the normal human condition. Open relations led to children not being cared for by their fathers, which is a problem in early societies because food took a lot of effort and you can't afford to feed a mouth not a part of your bloodline or helping to create it. Some societies allow it but with the restriction that you have to be able to support all your spouses equally, a feat only the elite could do. There's a reason many societies not directed by the Religions of Abraham still have institutionalized monogamy. India's Kama Sutra explained how to have sex outside your marriage but it was still looked down on because of the risk of impregnating another man's wife (only if you get caught really.) It used to be impossible to raise kids on your own as a woman and it's not easy today. There's a reason marriage still exists and why divorce while kids are being raised is looked down upon. Once the couple no longer has pre-adults it is usually less stigmatized.
LSS: Marriage is a cultural adaptation, deal with it
Polyandry is not the normal human condition. Open relations led to children not being cared for by their fathers, which is a problem in early societies because food took a lot of effort and you can't afford to feed a mouth not a part of your bloodline or helping to create it. Some societies allow it but with the restriction that you have to be able to support all your spouses equally, a feat only the elite could do. There's a reason many societies not directed by the Religions of Abraham still have institutionalized monogamy. India's Kama Sutra explained how to have sex outside your marriage but it was still looked down on because of the risk of impregnating another man's wife (only if you get caught really.) It used to be impossible to raise kids on your own as a woman and it's not easy today. There's a reason marriage still exists and why divorce while kids are being raised is looked down upon. Once the couple no longer has pre-adults it is usually less stigmatized.
LSS: Marriage is a cultural adaptation, deal with it
Oooo lawdy, someone didn't really read my reply and obviously doesn't know me too well.aba1 said:
First things first; I am an atheist. I don't believe in a God or any form of omniscient overlord. So your little bit about religious value means nothing to me. I don't care about religious views on relationships. Nothing's going to tell me what to do with someone I love and nothing changes other than a heavy dosage of guilt thrown on to a person when they no longer wish to be with someone.
I can vow my eternal devotion and love to a person without a stupid contract or a preacher handy. That's something I feel would be best done with and only with the person you're making this commitment to. Hell, go wear wedding rings to show that you love each other but do you have to go through the legal bullshit of marriage? No, you don't. Society has placed value in something completely meaningless.
And second... I'm going to stay calm here but you don't know me so you can't say I've never loved someone enough. You state that sentence as if you know for a fact I've never loved before. Quite the contrary, good sir. Don't make assumptions because you don't agree with my ideals. And I wasn't trying to make him feel bad either.
Okay, quick question right here.... who the fuck gives a shit what society thinks?Blue_vision said:
I don't care about "legitimising" my relationship in the eyes of the people. If they don't believe I'm in love with someone, then that's not their goddamn business. They can go get fucked for all I care. And that little bit just seems a bit too fairy tale-ish for me. I believe in love. I believe in true love and being happily ever after. But what I don't believe is that marriage makes something beautiful. Maybe it makes things a tiny bit easier for the moment with legality issues but in the long run, it's nothing but wasted effort and a hassle.
Call me pessimistic if you want (although, if you did, that shows you didn't actually read anything I just wrote) but marriage is pointless. Love isn't pointless... but marriage most definitely is.
Except for, y'know, the memories, societal value and general ease that it lends. In terms of societal value, marriage is just a societal right legitimizing a relationship. It's even built into our vocabulary: marriage is the difference between "boyfriend/girlfriend" and "husband/wife" which, despite your apparent contempt for, signals a feeling of short termed/long termed-ness that has become a social norm. Don't feel like it makes you any less individual. I suppose you could decide to feel pretentious and decide that marriage is passé and that you need to oust marriage as a major relationship marker, but it's been around for thousands of years. It's just sort of a human thing to do.Julianking93 said:
Not to mention that you could easily just have a tiny little wedding, or not even have a wedding but just get legally married. Then, you've got the social/legal legitimacy of your relationship, without any of the hassle or cost that you complain about. And again, a wedding is a fun, special occasion for everyone involved. It's an important point in a relationship, as well as an important social ceremony between friends and family, one which you use to look back with, and eventually look back on. If you feel like you don't want that, then don't do it. But don't say "oh oh, marriage is so stupid and overrated, I don't see why ANYONE would want it." Get over yourself.