Poll: Masturbating is evil!

[Bigfatstupid]

After reading more of this site, I have come to the conclusion that it's someone being sarcastic. I base this conclusion on this:

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT EVER use mayonnaise on your sandwich. It will trigger thoughts of other things which you must avoid thinking about. If you are a female, stay away from the hot dogs, carrots, cucumbers and Italian sausage! And girls, NEVER put a candle on the table and light it, pretending you have class. Candles are used for only one purpose and you know what that is!

Never read pornographic material. Stay away from the Old Testament stories about King David! Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." Get rid of any magazines like Playboy or Playgirl or, if you are a gay male, Boy's Life.

Obviously someone making a joke of this nonsense. Now it's just funny to read through.

I don't know. My faith in humanity has dropped to the point that I think this "savior" might actually be serious.

 

[mkb07a]

What's interesting is most of that site from the OP actually encourages masturbating. Thus, I am correct. Surely no one believes that rubbish, especially the suggestions page (though I laughed a lot).

EDIT:

I don't know. My faith in humanity has dropped to the point that I think this "savior" might actually be serious.

Nah. Look at the other links on the homepage of that site. It's totally a joke- it just has to be, to have conflicting statements on the same site. And really, the suggestions are so ludicrous there's just no way- I mean, seriously? Stop using mayonnaise? Don't have candles near your bed? Cam aaaahhhnnn!

 

[stiver]

"DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT EVER use mayonnaise on your sandwich. It will trigger thoughts of other things which you must avoid thinking about. If you are a female, stay away from the hot dogs, carrots, cucumbers and Italian sausage! And girls, NEVER put a candle on the table and light it, pretending you have class. Candles are used for only one purpose and you know what that is!"

First part is really, really disturbing.
Plus, I kinda remember them lighting candles in church. Church is a building for masturbation and sin!

 

[mkb07a]

I am not trying to derail the thread or anything, but have a look at this!

http://www.sexinchrist.com/fist.html

Wait, what? Uh... okay... The first link was okay, and some of the points my first Bible teacher here at Uni actually brought up, but the second link (the one quoted), um... I don't think if you want to do... that... you really need the Bible to justify it. Excuse me, I have to go down a bottle of brain bleach now.

 

[Syndef]

Maybe this is a joke site? I'd hate to think it was serious. But then that's just me--putting too much faith in humanity.

 

[smallharmlesskitten]

Woah.

NEVER touch the private parts of your body except when going to the toilet or when washing them! Your genitals are dirty, nasty, evil, filthy parts of your body.

Woah. I... have no comment to that. I think my brain actually exploded from the... I mean, good God... Really?

EDIT: Ah, come on! Who voted yes?

Hello, I am a believer in the control of human sexuality.

Why?

 

[mkb07a]

Edit: You know what, forget it. If everyone here is going to be completely immature about it, and refuse to look at this from a balanced viewpoint, I have nothing to gain from participating.

Just a question, how would you suggest someone view this topic? It's about the website which (I believe) I've debunked as being a joke, but if you feel that I have been unbalanced, then I sincerely apologize and ask you to please share your opinion.

 

[Lance Icarus]

The way I see it, the human body was created in God's own image, so that means that he had full creative control of the project. If masturbation was a bad thing, it would hurt people a lot more.

Thats some of the most retarded logic I have ever heard. By that logic, you're saying that heroin abuse is a natural thing.

You don't understand what I'm saying. I'm saying that the human body was in God's own image, implying that the things the body does naturally are, well, natural and not a sin. What someone puts into that body is a different story.

 

[Labyrinth]

Okay.. as it seems some are taking this as a serious debate I'll toss my genuine two cents in. Masturbation is not a 'sin' in my eyes, not only because I don't believe in 'sin' (as I don't believe there's a God to sit up there going "Obey me!"), but also because it is a natural means of relieving tension. Just as humans have sex for pleasure rather than just reproduction, they masturbate when a partner isn't available or capable. Hell, there's a lot one can do with fingers on ones partner.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

http://www.geocities.com/paul_ervine/aguide.html

Assuming the writer is using satire, this page is brilliant. I don't see how anyone could say all this and be serious. I mean, I'm a conservative christian, but still... This is just nuts!

Edit: More proof that this is satire, here is a title to one of the "steps:"

"Positive Steps In Beating Off Masturbation Desires"

Anyone still think this is serious?

 

[Syndef]

I hope this thread doesn't take a nasty turn at trying to prove/disprove the existence of God. My Spider-Sense is tingling.

 

[Tsuki Tanaka]

Woah.

NEVER touch the private parts of your body except when going to the toilet or when washing them! Your genitals are dirty, nasty, evil, filthy parts of your body.

Woah. I... have no comment to that. I think my brain actually exploded from the... I mean, good God... Really?

EDIT: Ah, come on! Who voted yes?

LOL

Omg. This quote is priceless.

This one was good, too

"This can even lead to "mutual masturbation" for which you will surely go to hell! And I'm talking about mutual masturbation with the opposite sex. If you practice it with the same sex, you have even bigger problems than just masturbating. Especially if you like it."


omg. This HAS to be a joke of some kind. xD

 

[JakalMc]

"If any of your present friends have pimples, yellow teeth, runny noses or excessive ear wax, avoid them like the measles!"

So: stay away from people going through puberty, people who have just eaten and people with a common head cold.

Oh my

 

[Dommyboy]

http://www.geocities.com/paul_ervine/aguide.html

An internet troll is detected. Same as the person who created the anti-spore site which gave off strange hints to the fact is was one big trick, this one does the same. Unless the person (or persons) who created that site are completely insane.

It's a joke site, don't take it too seriously. -mod

 

[Pressure]

Okay.. as it seems some are taking this as a serious debate I'll toss my genuine two cents in. Masturbation is not a 'sin' in my eyes, not only because I don't believe in 'sin' (as I don't believe there's a God to sit up there going "Obey me!"), but also because it is a natural means of relieving tension. Just as humans have sex for pleasure rather than just reproduction, they masturbate when a partner isn't available or capable. Hell, there's a lot one can do with fingers on ones partner.

You actually get it quite right. I am a Christian and I have read no verse in the Bible saying that masturbation is a sin. Really its a safety mechanism for me. Genetically I have a very active libido and thus if the tension builds to a certain point I become a bit of a danger.

Many fellow Christians however get so wrapped up in tradition that they substitute that for truth. Like drinking is called a sin but the Bible only mentions drunkenness, we have tradition verses reality. Really belief is about personal acceptance. I won't frighten people into seeing things my way, I'll use logical arguments but its up to them.

My two bits anyway.

 

[Signa]

... Please would someone give me 1 piece of Solid evidence why religion should be a big part of society?, ...

This is a total thread derail, but I've got *one* reason. 2000 years ago, people were very primitive. Hell, some areas of the world still act like animals. Anyway, one thing many of the major religions teach is to behave better than your vestigial animal instincts tell us too. Specifically greed. Greed got us by with the-survival-of-the-fittest, but we should be beyond that now. A lot of what religion teaches is really just self control. The problem is they pass off the lack of self control as "Sin" and "evil." We are just doing what we are built to do.

Now, please, unless you have something that you feel can not be left unsaid, continue with criticizing this hilarious website and ignore the side conversation.

 

[Lance Icarus]

Okay.. as it seems some are taking this as a serious debate I'll toss my genuine two cents in. Masturbation is not a 'sin' in my eyes, not only because I don't believe in 'sin' (as I don't believe there's a God to sit up there going "Obey me!"), but also because it is a natural means of relieving tension. Just as humans have sex for pleasure rather than just reproduction, they masturbate when a partner isn't available or capable. Hell, there's a lot one can do with fingers on ones partner.

I don't think anyone has to worry about this turning serious. I do want to mention that everything you state there is based off a choice, not so much that it's natural. It doesn't mean it's wrong, but at the same time there are a lot of exceptions to those guidelines. Well, except for that last one, that one's just all kinds of true. It's amazing how the sense of touch can be so closely linked to the feeling of pleasure, even if it's in a non-sexual way.

 

[Alex_P]

http://www.geocities.com/paul_ervine/stop-masturbating.html

This website is satire. 'Nuff said.

http://www.sexinchrist.com/masturbation.html

This website might mean well but it sucks. It's pretty clearly all about justifying the author's (permissive but still arbitrary) preferences rather than actually trying to derive anything from first principles. Just look at the "threesome" link. Quote-mining the Bible is pointless.

-- Alex