Poll: Men and women being freinds

[Asuka Soryu]

"Freinds"? Where would I go about obtaining these and are they anything like friends?

On a serious note, I've only had one friend of the opposite gender and we were just friends.

 

[Vault101]

okay, so this thread is about people giving out an opinion and you making fun of it. so like every other "significant" thread.

was that a personal jab or a general one?

[quote/]this video backs up an opinion and could be used as evidence to back up an argument.[/quote]
I wouldnt say its very good evidence....at all, but anyway OK the sarcastic comment was perhaps a bit much but I had already seen those videos (and in another thread ageis ago) and it jut always annoyed me..like "LOOK ITS TRUE" kind of like the "lock and key metaphor"

[quote/]and if you are asking yourself about the validity of it, you might as well doubt your easily to manipulate poll.[/quote]not saying the poll I completely valid but I dont see how its "easily manipulated" unless my questions arent very good

 

[EeveeElectro]

I think it's a lot easier for women to have male friends. I don't fancy a single one of my friends but I know a couple who fancy me.
I think if you made all your friends because you want to fuck them rather than because you have loads in common/get on well etc then you're a bit of a dolt. People shouldn't seek friends for sexual gratification, but for companionship. Obviously make friends first and if something comes from it then that's great and you should go for it. Keeping someone around in the hopes they're gonna jump in bed with you isn't a good idea.

 

[Angie7F]

I have friends of the opposite sex, and friends are just friends.
I think once you miss the window of opportunity, it just becomes normal to be just friends

 

[Jayemsal]

I'm a lesbian.

So...This is a pretty one sided discussion for me.

 

[The Almighty Grigard]

I kind of skipped over pages 4 and 5 of this thread so pardon me if this was indeed brought up.

What if the person / people asked is gay or bisexual? Did you mean to ask about platonic relationships specifically between heterosexual men and women or between two people whom at least one has a compatible sexuality?

Anyway, I can't speak for anyone else but I do know that I myself can maintain relationships that are purely platonic, with both genders. I have both male and female friends and I'm very close friends with some of them.

I'd also like to know if you mean just staying friends, not having any sexual desires for the other person at all OR remaining good friends despite sexual desire? (Because apparently all men sexually desire every woman with a pulse, according to some people.)
I myself am quite capable of all of these really. I have no desire to be with most of my male friends and nearly every one of my female friends. I do fancy a very close friend of mine, and he is quite aware of it. We've talked about it and since then we've remained just as close as we used to. I know we won't be together and because of that I've just let that vague hope go. These days I'm not bothered at all that he said no.

I truly believe it is possible, because so far I've been successful. I guess I'll have to see what happens in the long run though.

As for those videos that have been posted and quoted a few times. It really feels like rubbish to just ask college students about this. Get a better sample group. But the second video raises an interesting question.

What if they had asked some same gendered couples? Could I reasonably expect my hypothetical boyfriend to just throw away all his friendships with other males just to indulge my jealousy and sense of 'ownership'?

NO!

And that goes for straight couples as well.

 

[Blunderman]

Do as much as you can with everyone you meet. Modern society's view of relationships and sexuality is bullshit.

 

[Darken12]

Anyway, we'll be sure let all the bisexuals know that they'll never ever be able to have a meaningful friendship. Thanks, bro.

Yup, that point was really driven into everyone's heads by now. Apparently not only bisexuals have to suffer from the usual stereotypes (that we're just "greedy" or "experimenting" or "too straight/gay" or "depraved pervs" or "fooling ourselves" and so on and so forth), we also have to live depressingly friendless lives. And according to this, we can also calculate the only possible friendships in the human race: Between two asexuals, two straight people of the same gender or a gay man and a lesbian. Gay men can't be friends with either straight men or straight women (and the same goes for lesbians), and bisexuals/pansexuals can't be friends with anybody. Under this theory, straight people can be friends with their own gender just fine, while LGBT people are the ones that get screwed over the most. Smells like straight privilege at work here.

Though really, it's easily disprovable by the experiences of the vast majority of mature people in the world.

 

[Frankster]

I've had friendships with women where there really wasn't any romantic feelings whatsoever (thinking of one of my best friends in particular... Everyone tells me she is hot and stuff but she isn't my type as dont like curly hair, as petty as it sounds... Though i admit the one time she straightened her hair i was like daaaaamn), so its perfectly possible for a guy and girl to be friends without strings attached.

Sometimes there are feelings, but ive always had a "if it happens, it happens" policy in regard to that and don't think nothing more of it, so what if i find some of my friends hot? Il say as much and we have a laugh about it, end of story.

Concepts like friendzone and stuff are cute, but those only exist in the mind of the people that believe in it so hard they make it true ^^

 

[mateushac]

I'm sad for not being here from the beginning. This topic is really amazing.

Anyway, I have quite a lot of female friends. I feel way more comfortable talking to girls than I do talking to boys, specially when it involves telling secrets and asking for advice.
I usually feel pretty comfortable and secure about my relationship with them. Sometimes, even, we might get curious and do/say things some people would label inappropriate (eg. touching boobs, measuring body parts, seeing each other in their underwear) without any real sexual intent.

My problem, though, is being friends with people who attract me sexually.
I have this thing hardcoded into my mind where I simply cannot stand being friends with girls who makes me sexually attracted, even for the briefest time.
I know at first this sounds like a pretty good policy, but I can't help but feel like I'm constantly missing on great friendship oportunities just because because of this.

 

[Hagi]

I think some people here must lead very, very awkward lives if they're seriously attracted to every 'friend' and every possible 'friend' of their chosen gender(s), which would logically be required to come to the conclusion that there's no such thing as friendships between opposite genders (or the same gender in some cases).

I mean that's a lot of people. And with each everyone of them they're apparently going "DAMN! I want me some piece of that!". That's bound to take up a lot of time... How do those people get anything done at all?

 

[Auron225]

Why don't we ask the public?

<youtube=T_lh5fR4DMA> <youtube=FYQmqxQgEBY>

Seems like a pretty tight case.

Well damn, I sincerely hope anyone I go out with won't feel the same way. If I had to choose between her and every single female friend I've ever made... that just seems like a real shit thing to do to someone. It's basically telling your partner "I am threatened by every friend you have that is the same gender as me and do not trust you in the slightest".

 

[FoolKiller]

Of course its possible to be friends with someone of the gender you are attracted to. How else are you supposed to become friends with benefits.

 

[gazumped]

Am bisexual, but the whole 'aren't bisexuals allowed friends then?' bit has been done so I'll leave that.

But can you sustain friendships with people you're attracted to? Good grief of course you can. I tend to fancy any friend I make in the early stages of the friendship, I guess it's me sending the feelers out to figure out if this is a potential romantic relationship or not. Most of the time I decide actually, I'm not into them like that, and I never think about them in that way again.

Sometimes I fall terribly in love with them. And as painful as it is if they don't feel the same way, from my experience so far, our friendship is actually more likely to survive if it's unrequited, because eventually I will move on and it will be water under the bridge, without the kind of mess you get with a break-up. The first person I was ever in love with - and I was crazy about her for a good couple of years - is still one of my best friends, almost ten years later. And I feel nothing romantic (or even sexual, although I still appreciate she's quite pretty) towards her any more.

It's a bit of a weirder kind of thing with my current boyfriend; we were close friends for years before we started dating but I had a boyfriend. We both fancied each other. We both knew we fancied each other. We both knew (well, really thought at the time) we were never gonna hook up. Nevertheless, we had a solid and uncomplicated relationship because, yehknow, there are much more awesome things that come with friendship than the possibility of sex.
He also has several female friends that I know he's fancied at some point or other in his life and this is why I don't mind. If I could think he was hot and hang out alone with him in his bedroom with absolutely no desire to cheat on my boyfriend at the time then I'm pretty sure he can exercise the same kind of self restraint.