Poll: Polite vs Honesty

[Smooth Operator]

Nothing in the real world is black and white, there is always a limit to what you can say or do.

Saying your honest opinion politely is always an option, when someone asks you out there is no need to go into all details why they repulse you, simply tell them you are not interested or add the biggest reason why.
And don't ever be "polite enough" not to give them a straight answer because you will in fact be just a ****.

 

[StBishop]

I hate being polite, but I don't have the heart to be honest with people most of the time because I'm not very nice about it.

I will be honest with Virgos, though, because they at least listen to what I have to say and honestly consider the pros and cons of what my suggestion was.

I sort of hate you. Nothing personal, it's more of a "you just presumed to know about me and my personality because my parents had sex on new years eve." which I find annoying, inane, and offensive.

Wait, what? I wasn't talking to you.

However, because you are a fellow Virgo, I forgive you.

I hope you're trolling.

If not, I don't really know what to say.

OT: It seems silly that these are considered opposite.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I'm honest toward my friends while I'm more polite toward my superior (tutor and manager etc), well it depend on what type of person he/ she is and if he/she had ask for a honest opinion.

 

[SulfuricDonut]

I'm definitely more polite.
However that might just be a by-product of being introverted and shy.
I will rarely tell people my opinion on the matter anyway.

 

[DonMartin]

Im always as polite as I possibly can be. That said, I am quite honest too. Like people already said, I dont think one excludes the other.

And as we all can see, I added nothing to the conversation. Hum-de-dum.

 

[JMeganSnow]

Why can't you be both honest and polite? Being polite doesn't require that you lie. It might, occasionally, require that you phrase the truth in a less blunt way, or that you not go around broadcasting everything and anything to people who surely aren't interested. But it doesn't require that you lie.

 

[Dags90]

I hope you're trolling.

If not, I don't really know what to say.

OT: It seems silly that these are considered opposite.

Tread lightly (or just ignore), I've gotten Mod Wrathed for not being sensitive enough to astrology.

I'm usually a polite person IRL, and I don't feel the need to be honest with everyone. I'm honest with the people I trust.

 

[AbsoluteVirtue18]

I'm politely honest. I am polite when I'm honest. And I'm honestly polite.

But if I have to choose between politeness and honesty, then I choose politeness. Seriously, if I had been honest with every jerk I have met on the Escapist, I'd be banned.

 

[The Virgo]

I will be honest with Virgos, though, because they at least listen to what I have to say and honestly consider the pros and cons of what my suggestion was.

... You believe in that?

Why not? It's my life, my beliefs.

True.

But as stBishop said, I can't fathom how that makes sense and find it slightly annoying that it means you'll judge me for the day of the year I was born on.

Because I get along with Virgo better than anybody else (Taurus comes a close second). I feel at peace around my fellow Virgos (and ONLY Virgos) and that is why I will only date Virgo women, Because I don't want to be divorced several times (like my dad).

Throughout my life, of all the people who I have grown to hate because of things they have done to me, Virgos have never anything bad to me. Therefore, I only feel love for my fellow Virgos.

I hope you're trolling.

If not, I don't really know what to say.

Well then I have got bad news for you. I'm sorry that you feel that way, but if that is the way you feel, then I will not try and convert you. You have your beliefs and if you are happy with them, then I will let you continue, but I will stick with mine.

Good luck with your life and have a great day!

 

[StBishop]

I hope you're trolling.

If not, I don't really know what to say.

OT: It seems silly that these are considered opposite.

Tread lightly (or just ignore), I've gotten Mod Wrathed for not being sensitive enough to astrology.

I'm usually a polite person IRL, and I don't feel the need to be honest with everyone. I'm honest with the people I trust.

I'll take that on board. I suppose I can't rag on Astrology and then complain about people saying that God doesn't exist, there's equal quantities of proof of both.

I just genuinely find Astrology insulting and I refuse to tell people "my sign" and choose not to associate with people who place importance on such things.

 

[Hagi]

This is a false binary.

A. You can be honest in a polite way.
B. You can be honest in an rude way.
C. You can be polite in an honest way.
D. You can be polite in a dishonest way.

Example: Someone who is annoying and terrible want to talk to you.
A. "I'm sorry but we aren't compatible on these three fundamental aspects. I'm afraid it isn't healthy for us to spend time together anymore."
B. "You are annoying as hell, and you are ugly. I hate you. If I see you again, I'm going to punch you in the face. What? I'm just being honest!"
C. "I'm afraid I can't talk to you right now."
D. "Of course I'd love to listen to you talk about X."

Example: Someone is wearing a really ugly shirt and asks you, "What do you think about that shirt."
A. "I don't think that shirt suits you. You'd look better with stripes."
B. "That shirt if fugly. Ugliest shirt I've ever seen. You have terrible taste."
C. "That shirt is not to my taste."
D. "That shirt looks great on you."

Honesty and Politeness are both important to me. In any given situation one may take more priority over the other. So I tend to go between option A and option C most of the time.

If you tend to option D, you need to recognize is that Option D does not actually help the person you are talking to in the long run. Those people who you find annoying? They deserve better than to think they are friends with someone who actually finds them annoying. There are people out there who won't find them annoying and who'll actually care about them. Instead of wasting time with you, they should find those people. The person in the shirt that is really unflattering? It is better you tell them rather than have them run around being laughed at.

So, dishonesty I don't this is a good policy. I also don't thing being rude is a good policy.

You can find ways to be both honest and polite.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

If you don't have anything helpful to say then just don't say it. That's not being honest, that's being a jerk.

 

[NastoK]

The truth is a delicate thing, but in my experience given just a tiny little pitch and spin, you can constantly and mercilessly tell the truth regardless of how cruel and not have anyone even really notice. If you do it just right, people hear what they want to hear anyway, and this means that you always get to revel in the sweet zone of 'I told you so' after the fact.

Basicly this, truthful and polite, but evasive if needs be. But were it a really close friend that's in question, better be blunt about it if that's the only way he/she will truly understand your opinion.

Or in other words, what Aes Sedai (from The Wheel of Time) do.

 

[Avistew]

I've been told I'm brutally honest and I know I'm a terrible liar, yet I don't consider myself impolite. I'm more likely to let things slide if it's someone I don't know or don't care about though, maybe it's dishonesty by omission (like they say something I disagree with and I say nothing instead of saying I disagree and starting a debate because I can't be bothered to take the time).

I usually reveal way too much information about myself though. I guess I've never felt like I have any reason to hide it.

 

[StBishop]

Because I get along with Virgo better than anybody else (Taurus comes a close second). I feel at peace around my fellow Virgos (and ONLY Virgos) and that is why I will only date Virgo women, Because I don't want to be divorced several times (like my dad).

Throughout my life, of all the people who I have grown to hate because of things they have done to me, Virgos have never anything bad to me. Therefore, I only feel love for my fellow Virgos.

This is pretty much what I take issue with, the most hurtful person I've ever met in my life is a Virgo, while the most caring person in my life is also one.

One of the people I trust most (my father) happens to be an "incompatible" star sign.

If I chose to only associate with people based on their star signs then I would cut something like 11/12 of the people in the world from my life.

I understand that you hold these views, and I am not trying to tell you that you're wrong or should change them (mostly because I like posting on these forums) but can you honestly say that I piss you off less than a (what ever star sign you're incompatible with) who shares all of your hobbies and political views and almost all of your opinions (assuming they don't mind being incompatible, but share your views on astrology too) would?

 

[LostAlone]

The truth is a delicate thing, but in my experience given just a tiny little pitch and spin, you can constantly and mercilessly tell the truth regardless of how cruel and not have anyone even really notice. If you do it just right, people hear what they want to hear anyway, and this means that you always get to revel in the sweet zone of 'I told you so' after the fact.

Basicly this, truthful and polite, but evasive if needs be. But were it a really close friend that's in question, better be blunt about it if that's the only way he/she will truly understand your opinion.

Or in other words, what Aes Sedai (from The Wheel of Time) do.

Honestly, if you asked anyone who knew me (included my fiance) I doubt they'd tell you I was either truthful or polite really. More scathing and sarcastic. But when you say anything like that it's up to the other person to figure out if you were being truthful or not. It's the best of both worlds really, because like I said, they turn whatever you said in whatever they wanted to hear, but when they inevitably fail you get to back it up with superb foresight.

 

[XaoTIKn]

...
In other places, I tend to be very, VERY blunt. I hate how easily offended people are, and how they think that disagreeing to their opinions is somehow a hostile action against them.
"You hurt my precious feelings" <-- No I did not. YOU hurt them by taking everything personally. Stop being a baby about it.

This describes me all the time. I know that I don't have the power to hurt others feelings. I'm honest all the time, Count on it.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

generally I'm pretty honest, however i do "bend" it into somewhat of a white lie sometimes to be more polite about it, I hate being aggressive/assertive when it is highly unneeded and i'd prefer to avoid destroying/fucking with other people.

 

[aei_haruko]

So they say honesty is the best policy , but im everyday life people are ( usually) more polite than honest, keeping back what they truly think , in fear of upseting the person to whom we are speaking. They also say all truth is not good to tell , but is that really true?

I came up with this thread idea because when i look at me and my sister we are complet opposites when it comes to this . I am more polite, i don't usually ever say whats on my mind when someone asks me a question to not upset them. My sister on the other hand is completly honest , if you ask her a question she will say what is on her mind regardless of it will upset the other person or no . If she doesn't like you she would tell you to your face, as for me i tend to politly smile and pretend to be interested in what the person would say to me . as a result , i have a bunch of people that talk to me that i perfer wouldn't and that annoy me , as for her, the people around her are only people that she likes. She doesn't take shit from anyone and will tell them off where as i would probably fold and let people walk over me .

I am 22 and she is 20 and i envy her for her ( brutal ? ) honesty.

Now i think that if everyone was just honest , there is alot of bullshit that could be avoided ( but that would also arguebly require everyone to be less sensitive) and is probably unrealistic.


So what do you think ? Is it better to be Polite ? or to be honest ? and which are you most of time? Honest or Polite?

Also is there a middle-ground between the two and is that what is preferable?


Your Turn

I'd have to say I am more polite, but people don't seem to like me, so I'd actually not mind having people acknowladge me...

 

[Continuity]

I prefer honesty because its uncomplicated and, well, honest. But honesty is often impractical so I have to curb my honest impulses for the sake of a quiet life, so I guess most times I'm polite above honest... at least these days anyway... lessons learned and all that.