Poll: Polite vs Honesty

[Kargathia]

I found that people more readily believe lies when the previous sentence was composed out of brutal honesty. It's useful.

 

[Xanadu84]

I can't really think of a scenario where one precludes the other. With even the slightest bit of intelligence, nearly every idea or concept can be communicated in a polite way regardless of if it is true or not, and most any lie can be twisted into politeness or rudeness. Im not going to criticize anyone here of being a jerk, but it seems like when a person talks about just being honest as an excuse for their rudeness, they are actually just plain old being rude and justifying it. Poorly.

 

[Kargathia]

I can't really think of a scenario where one precludes the other. With even the slightest bit of intelligence, nearly every idea or concept can be communicated in a polite way regardless of if it is true or not, and most any lie can be twisted into politeness or rudeness. Im not going to criticize anyone here of being a jerk, but it seems like when a person talks about just being honest as an excuse for their rudeness, they are actually just plain old being rude and justifying it. Poorly.

You are forgetting though that some times phrasing the truth politely will hurt the recipent more. Would it still be polite to do so?

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Throughout my life, of all the people who I have grown to hate because of things they have done to me, Virgos have never anything bad to me. Therefore, I only feel love for my fellow Virgos.

I feel kinda sorry for you. Possibly the nicest girls in the world are not worthy of your attention because of the day they were born. Thats kinda... pointless. People who are virgo are not all the same. You cant honestly think they are the same? Seriously?! Thats... just obviously wrong. So obviously wrong.

You said you dont want divorces so only virgos. How do you explain pretty much every marriage ever that didnt end in divorce. Accidently the same signs? Luck? Pretending? People date signs they are meant to hate and love it. And marry them for life without issue. You think these people are liars? I mean i have no issue with beliefs because there tends to be no evidence to the contrary but the idea that everyone under a star sign HAS to have X quality is so blatantly wrong its unfunny.

 

[Xanadu84]

I can't really think of a scenario where one precludes the other. With even the slightest bit of intelligence, nearly every idea or concept can be communicated in a polite way regardless of if it is true or not, and most any lie can be twisted into politeness or rudeness. Im not going to criticize anyone here of being a jerk, but it seems like when a person talks about just being honest as an excuse for their rudeness, they are actually just plain old being rude and justifying it. Poorly.

You are forgetting though that some times phrasing the truth politely will hurt the recipent more. Would it still be polite to do so?

Arguably, by any useful definition of "polite", doing what you are saying is impossible, because politeness is all about being considerate of others. If it would hurt the recipient, it is not polite by the very definition of the word.

 

[barbzilla]

So they say honesty is the best policy , but im everyday life people are ( usually) more polite than honest, keeping back what they truly think , in fear of upseting the person to whom we are speaking. They also say all truth is not good to tell , but is that really true?

I came up with this thread idea because when i look at me and my sister we are complet opposites when it comes to this . I am more polite, i don't usually ever say whats on my mind when someone asks me a question to not upset them. My sister on the other hand is completly honest , if you ask her a question she will say what is on her mind regardless of it will upset the other person or no . If she doesn't like you she would tell you to your face, as for me i tend to politly smile and pretend to be interested in what the person would say to me . as a result , i have a bunch of people that talk to me that i perfer wouldn't and that annoy me , as for her, the people around her are only people that she likes. She doesn't take shit from anyone and will tell them off where as i would probably fold and let people walk over me .

I am 22 and she is 20 and i envy her for her ( brutal ? ) honesty.

Now i think that if everyone was just honest , there is alot of bullshit that could be avoided ( but that would also arguebly require everyone to be less sensitive) and is probably unrealistic.


So what do you think ? Is it better to be Polite ? or to be honest ? and which are you most of time? Honest or Polite?

Also is there a middle-ground between the two and is that what is preferable?


Your Turn

Really I think the situation determines the correct response. Most of the time honesty is better for both parties, however there are situations where you just have to eat crow and be polite. Be honest with people when you first meet them and you will cut your group of friends down to the people who are actually your friends and not a bunch of hangers on.

 

[Chasing-The-Light]

I'm about 94% brutal honesty. I will tell whoever, to their face, whether I like them or don't like them and why. I don't put up with people's bullshit and I feel that if you tell them anything less than the honest truth, then you're lying to them.

The other 6% comes from times when I do have to bite my tongue and be polite to someone for whatever reason, though. This comes about when I want something from someone, or if I'm talking to my boss or my parents or something.

So, I suppose it's a bit of middle ground. Too much honesty can get you in trouble, but being too polite can be like living a lie, at times. You gotta have a little of both.

 

[RepeatAfterMe]

"Honesty" IS polite.

 

[Nouw]

If you only have honesty, you end up becoming an asshole. If you only have politeness, you end up becoming a softie.

You need a mix of both to be successful in life.
EDIT:See? If I was completely honest I'd be an asshole and if I was polite I would have gotten nowhere in addressing my opinion.

I hate being polite, but I don't have the heart to be honest with people most of the time because I'm not very nice about it.

I will be honest with Virgos, though, because they at least listen to what I have to say and honestly consider the pros and cons of what my suggestion was.

I'm not trying to offend you and if I do I apologize but I feel very irked by your by your train of thought. You seem to judge people with a single fact, their star-sign. Am I automatically inferior to 'X' people because I was born on a different date? Isn't that prejudice? You seem to live in a comfort-zone and trust me, break out of it and you'll meet even more awesome people.

But at the end of the day, I cannot change your belief. If you choose to only socialize and live with Virgos that is completely your decision and I respect that. Just wanted you to know that you're missing out on something.
[sub]I've never met anyone else that holds your belief by the way [/sub]

 

[emeraldrafael]

Politeness in a nmon private situation. If you're in a more public and friendly manner, honesty is more important.

 

[Aprilgold]

I don't know.... I'm a polite person by nature, but I will always try to find a way around being a blunt douche, because even being nicely blunt still makes you a douche. Again, I'm just a polite person by nature, I will tell how I feel, and will try to feed the truth like a gentlemen, but will never be blunt. Imgaine if that happened to suicidal people, that they were just told the blunt facts about their life, nothing improves or nothing is at a loss. Now lets replace that scenario with a nice attitude, the person might be slightly better. Thats just how I see it, I would rather have more polite people in the world then people who are blunt, and there is a middleground, but thats left for only a few people, as both worlds do not mix well.

 

[Kair]

Withholding the truth is not the same as directly lying, and in some cases it is pointless to tell the truth without being questioned. You can then be honest and still not needlessly trouble someone.
Though in most cases I try to challenge and trouble people with the truth as much as I can, because I believe it may benefit them in the long run.

 

[meticadpa]

I hate being polite, but I don't have the heart to be honest with people most of the time because I'm not very nice about it.

I will be honest with Virgos, though, because they at least listen to what I have to say and honestly consider the pros and cons of what my suggestion was.

You really buy into the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality?

 

[lacktheknack]

Tactful truth. Being honest doesn't mean mean evil about it.

 

[Twilight_guy]

I have aspergers syndrome... I'm more honest then I should be but I'm polite enough not to say something insulting to someone when I know it would be insulting (and sometimes I don't know... ).

 

[The Virgo]

[...] but can you honestly say that I piss you off less than a (what ever star sign you're incompatible with) who shares all of your hobbies and political views and almost all of your opinions (assuming they don't mind being incompatible, but share your views on astrology too) would?

To be totally honest: Yes. If I met a [highly incompatible sign hidden to protect those of that sign] who I had everything in common with, I would still despise them, try to avoid them and think that they were just doing that to get close to me and leech off of my ideas and money, whereas I would be more receptive and nice to a Virgo I had absolutely nothing in common with and who didn't me.

I will be honest with Virgos, though, because they at least listen to what I have to say and honestly consider the pros and cons of what my suggestion was.

... You believe in that?

Why not? It's my life, my beliefs.

Your belief has no logic though. I'm not going to try and talk you out of it but I fear that you're going to miss out on some of life's truly awesome people because of your beliefs and that people will stop taking you seriously.

Virgos ARE life's truly awesome people. *sunglasses*

 

[Loner Jo Jo]

As Taylor Mali said, "I have a policy about honesty and ass-kicking: if you ask for it, I have to let you have it."

I tend to err on the side of honesty, but there are times I'll grin and bear something. Sometimes, it's better not to start an argument. For instance, there are plenty of people I try to avoid like the plague, but I'm not going to be rude to them just because their not my favorite person in the world. Even if I do generally like someone, sometimes I won't tell them when they have pissed me off. However, if someone asks me a direct question, I always answer them directly. If they ask, then they can't blame me for telling them even if its something they don't want to hear.

 

[Doitpow]

Because I get along with Virgo better than anybody else (Taurus comes a close second)

OMG YOU SO SILLY BEIEVEING IN HORYSCOPE

wait a minute...
I am a Taurus...
My Girlfriend is a Virgo
IT'S ALL TRUE!!!!

*mind blown

OPolite, good luck resolving any conflicts being honest

 

[The Virgo]

I hate being polite, but I don't have the heart to be honest with people most of the time because I'm not very nice about it.

I will be honest with Virgos, though, because they at least listen to what I have to say and honestly consider the pros and cons of what my suggestion was.

I'm not trying to offend you and if I do I apologize but I feel very irked by your by your train of thought. You seem to judge people with a single fact, their star-sign. Am I automatically inferior to 'X' people because I was born on a different date? Isn't that prejudice? You seem to live in a comfort-zone and trust me, break out of it and you'll meet even more awesome people.

My way of thinking is not:

<-- Virgos





<-- Everybody else

I get along with Virgos best, but that doesn't mean that I hate everybody else, it just means I'm not compatible with others the same way.

I get along great with Taureans, for instance. Every Taurus I've know I have gotten along great with. They make good friends. I also get along great with Sagittarians, too! Would I want to MARRIED to a Taurus or a Sagittarius? That's different. Really, most everybody falls into at least a neutral category in my book.

But at the end of the day, I cannot change your belief. If you choose to only socialize and live with Virgos that is completely your decision and I respect that. Just wanted you to know that you're missing out on something.
[sub]I've never met anyone else that holds your belief by the way [/sub]

Well, I thank you for at least respecting my beliefs. However, I do not ONLY socialize with Virgos. I've worked with at least one Sagittarius, Gemini, Leo, Taurus, Libra, etc. I can get along with everybody to varying degrees.

Also, I actually knew a girl who not only held this same belief, but held onto it with the same fervent passion that I do. Alas, she couldn't be faithful, so, even though we were only friends, I stopped associating with her.