Poll: Pre-marital chastity - Bad idea, or not?

[Custard_Angel]

If abstaining from premarital sex is something that you can't cope with, then don't get involved.

If sex is something you choose to live without, then more power to you.

It's all down to you in the end.

Just don't stick your dick in something that you will live to regret.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

Sexual compatibility is as important for long-term happiness in a relationship as emotional and mental compatibility. Holding off until marriage risks finding out that you and your partner really aren't turned on by eachother, which almost inevitably leads to infidelity and unhappiness. So stop screwing around and screw.

If a couple stayed off sex till they got married they should have already know what turns on the other just by talking.

Unless, you know, they had no sexual experience in which case they're actually guessing.

 

[Marik2]

Sexual compatibility is as important for long-term happiness in a relationship as emotional and mental compatibility. Holding off until marriage risks finding out that you and your partner really aren't turned on by eachother, which almost inevitably leads to infidelity and unhappiness. So stop screwing around and screw.

If a couple stayed off sex till they got married they should have already know what turns on the other just by talking.

Unless, you know, they had no sexual experience in which case they're actually guessing.

Which is why theres books on it and sex ed for.

And besides thats something they can work on together.

Edit: And hoenstly if a couple whos already married should have had all the trust and awkward issues taken care off.

If they were both virgins and had sex for the first time and it wasnt that great, than thats something they need to work on.

Cuz you know thats how a relationship works, ya know?

Geez its not that hard to grasp that.

 

[SilentCom]

I agree with the OP.

To be sexually skilled takes practice, and a romantic relationship will fall apart if the sex is shit.

For greater happiness, go forth and fuck.

Unless both are sexually unskilled, then they can "level up" their sex skills together

 

[Amondren]

Everyone goes at a relationship at their own angle some more odd then others.

 

[yellingatpixels]

The only thought I have on pre marital chastity is this:

When do you expect to be married? After university? After you actually get a decent job out of school? Then you are waiting a looong time, my friend.

More and more people are holding off on marriage, and that's not a bad thing.

So: ask yourself this: do you want to be a virgin until 25 or 30? OR will waiting for marriage sort of force you into marriage early? And if you are sort of rushing marriage just to fuck... well... how can that be a good thing for the sanctity of marriage?

I don't think sexual compatability is really a total issue. If both partners are GGG, then you will grow together if you choose to stay together.

 

[LobsterFeng]

To this entire thread, I ask: how the hell did my relationship go so well if sex wasn't in the picture? I'm serious, you all act like if a relation doesn't have sex it falls apart. Well I didn't have sex til we were already planning out the wedding, which was at least 4 years after wwe started dating, and our relationship is stronger than that of any other relationship I have witnessed firsthand. I'm not saying chastity until marriage is necessary oor else you'll go to Hell, I'm just saying you all look down on chastity like virginity is filth. We waited because we wanted to be 100% positive we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, then we decided it was right for us.

Took the words right out of my mouth. I'm not in a relationship, and I won't plan on being in one until I'm actually looking for marriage.

 

[punksnotdead]

In a nut shell:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKhrQhdxjI8
Another great lesson taught by one of my favorite bands.

 

[default]

To this entire thread, I ask: how the hell did my relationship go so well if sex wasn't in the picture? I'm serious, you all act like if a relation doesn't have sex it falls apart. Well I didn't have sex til we were already planning out the wedding, which was at least 4 years after wwe started dating, and our relationship is stronger than that of any other relationship I have witnessed firsthand. I'm not saying chastity until marriage is necessary oor else you'll go to Hell, I'm just saying you all look down on chastity like virginity is filth. We waited because we wanted to be 100% positive we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, then we decided it was right for us.

Took the words right out of my mouth. I'm not in a relationship, and I won't plan on being in one until I'm actually looking for marriage.

Well you sound like you have an incredibly healthy and devoted relationship based on love for each other. People dream of relationships like that, you're very lucky, mate

I never said virginity is filth, I merely said that if you are looking into a long term relationship it is important at some point to address your sexuality with each other, as for the majority of people it is a very important part of the relationship.

Granted, you didn't have to, but not all of us are as controlled and mature

 

[Zantos]

It's a bad idea, you end up all wierd and stuff, cos your body is set up to go forth and do it as many times as possible with as many different hot women as you can find.

And through incrdibly tenuous mental links reading this I've decided to make a sign for my flat door next year reading "Welcome to Studentville, Population: Sexy"

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

Which is why theres books on it and sex ed for.

What one finds "conceptually attractive" and what ones find "actually erotic" are often wildly different things.

And besides thats something they can work on together.

That has no bearing on the point I made.

Edit: And hoenstly if a couple whos already married should have had all the trust and awkward issues taken care off.

No they actually have not. This is why you still find couples that have been married for decades that still have awkward trust issues.

 

[ZippyDSMlee]

Marriage is kind of a non sequencer, stupid people who have lots of unprotected sex are married,ect.

Sex should be something very personal that people need to think twice about as most people are not mature enough to do it and should not mess with it anyway.

Sex should be part of either a a solid relationship(yes love and or a a full trusting relationship with 2 same and semi responsible people) or a person cable of 220% responsibility(able to remove emotion from it and has the ability to treat sex like a kiss only with mroe protection and care, IE the rare rare rare rare human).

 

[godofallu]

Of course having sex with someone is a good thing to do before tying yourself to that person forever.

I can't think of a single reason not to, aside from a religious belief (Ug religion).

 

[XzarTheMad]

I see no rational reason people would not have sex before marriage. Well, one. A fear of a disease and/or pregnancy. Apart from that, it's pretty silly in my book.

However, people should do as they like. While I don't place sex at the very tippy-top of requirements in my relationship, I never plan on getting married either, so an ultimatum of that kind would probably mean a breakup from me. As for why I won't get married, it's not so much a principle as it's just a general dislike of the concept. Like that you must, in a way, get the public's approval of your love for it to be "real". Which I think is bullshit. I digress, however.

Personally I think masturbation and sex helps you discover a lot about yourself and your sexuality, which helps in identifying what kind of person you are, and helps you enjoy it and make the one you decide to do it with enjoy it more, too. As a general rule, while virgins are cute, it's typically the "crazy floozie" of urban folklore who shags like a rabid grizzly. Just ask any glamrock and hair-metal band of the '80.

 

[Paksenarrion]

It's time for another Good Idea, Bad Idea...

Good Idea: Being a guy and getting praised for gaining experience.

Bad Idea: Being a girl and getting shunned for losing your hymen.

 

[DanDeFool]

EDIT:
Since this is a controversial topic, I guess I should have known I'd have to be prepared to defend my ideals

I'm not saying that not having sex will completely screw up your relationship and leave it a meaningless husk of what could be. Sex is just one of the best ways to enhance that bond you have with each other, which is made from spending time together and learning about each other. And as I said above it is very important to have sexuality as a comfortable aspect of your relationship if it's going to be long term. ESPECIALLY before marriage.

Yes. Any discussion about sex and marriage is going to be a huge headache.

That said, now that research into human sexuality has become a bit more politically correct, we're starting to see how important sex is in human relationships. Also, we're starting to see how human sexual behavior has a certain innate component that goes against traditional values, in both male sexual behavior and female sexual behavior.

Personally, I agree with OP. Sex is a major, major aspect of human relationships, and is an important part of forming a strong emotional bond with a long-term partner. Especially for men, I think your relationships will work out a lot better if you work to build sexual attraction between you and your partner/fiance/spouse/etc. You neglect sex in your relationships at your peril.

Of course there are risks. There are risks associated with driving your car every day. Take precautions, and be careful about what you do with who. In other words, my stance on sleeping around is that you should only have sex with someone you wouldn't mind being in a long-term relationship with. Don't have sex just to have sex.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

Chastity - Not a bad idea if you feel like you can handle it, if you don't wanna get pregnant, don't wanna use birth control, and don't wanna get an STD.

Chastity - is a bad idea if you do so because an invisible man in the sky told you to do it. Or your parents. Don't let anyone or anything run your life except you.

 

[Karyyk]

I voted no, but my stance is probably a bit different. I've never been a fan of "gaining experience," which I'm happy about since I'm happily married now. Then again, marriage wasn't much of an issue to me, the relationship was already a committed one (not a fan of needing the state to "ordain" everything I do). As for needing "practice," I say that such is, largely, BS (especially with all of the dangers that come with it). I'm not saying that, in a relationship, it's not a good idea to see how that aspect of the relationship is (especially as prevalent an aspect as it is), but the fact is that it generally gets better over time. When I first got together with my now-wife, I hadn't really been with anyone in a long time, so there was a lot of worry and tension on my part that made for some awkward situations. Once we got past that, learned more about each other, honestly, it really couldn't be any better.

And FYI, not all guys praise each other for their "scoring." Douchebags do that, every single good guy I've known usually responds to it with some measure of disgust and changes the subject entirely (and I'm not talking about a bunch of stereotypical virgin nerds here).

 

[SplitDemonIdentity]

In my personal opinion it really does depend entirely on the person. I personally am fine with pre-marital chastity due to the fact that my religious upbringing has implanted it into me and I find it sensible.

However my friend of the same religion got involved with it and it did her so much good she was initially an abusive ***** but now she's not going to beat you up for no reason whatsoever {still pretty bitchy though}.

Really it just all depends on the person something that may be a good idea for some is a completely rubbish idea for others.