Poll: Puns

[a stranger]

My favorite types of puns are the Pokemon ones.

how do you get 10 pikachu's on a bus?

you poke-em-on...http://instantrimshot.com/

 

[jman737]

So there was this guy, he owned a liquor store. It was the Friday before superbowl Sunday and he realized he had run out of a bunch of hard liquors. Feeling the imminent crisis of not having a proper inventory for the big day, he called to order some new stock. Unfortunately, the shipping company could not make business deliveries over the weekend, so the store owner was forced to make it a first-class order to his house. He got the cases of liquor mid Saturday, so he decided to carry the boxes in on his walk to work. As he was walking to work, wouldn't you know it, it started raining. A stranger walked up to him and asked if he needed any help carrying the large boxes, but the store owner kindly declined. The stranger then asked if he could at least provide some sort of protection from the pouring rain that was coming down, seeing as the store owner had no free hands. The stranger again insisted because he was noticing that the store owner's merchandise was becoming soaked in the downpour. The store owner smiled and said, "Thank you, but nothing can dampen my spirits."

 

[Shapsters]

When people ask me how my weekend was, I tell them it was intense. When they ask me why I said I went camping! HA-ha-ha...

My dad used to be a pilot, ya I would cut the wood and he would pile it.

I'll be here till Tuesday.

 

[gostchiken]

I should impale the maker of this thread on PUNji stakes.

 

[Slipped Mind]

I only like puns when certain people do them. I have about two friends that can pull off puns properly.

 

[AquaAscension]

I adore puns. I think it's a sign of intelligence because you have to understand or at least grasp the connection between the apparent subject and the implied one from the pun. There was a pun that I heard from a teacher long ago to which I've forgotten the set up, but it essentially said:

"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

Think about it, you'll understand. Puns also are wonderful for double entendre. Think about the somewhat innocuous "That's what she said." It's basically a phrase that turns the previous statement into a pun... oh that's really cool; that simple phrase realigns the meaning of words that came before it by giving it context, making it relative to something new. Einstein had no idea. No pun in there, promise.

 

[x434343]

So 185 doctors walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve doctors here," and the doctors say...
-We only wanted a shot!
-You're not gonna let us nurse a beer?
-I'm feeling a surgery of anger!
-Take two of these and serve me my damn alcohol! (Takes out tazer, tazes bartednder, kicks bartender on ground, drags bartender outside and CURBSTOMPS HIM!)

 

[Danglybits]

I love puns. They hurt sometimes, but I'm a masochist, and a sadist.

 

[OMGMOO]

What do you get when you rub a DVD of Startrek with a DVD of Starwars?

Science FRICTION

 

[Not-here-anymore]

My favorite types of puns are the Pokemon ones.

Always fun, but less amusing without the pictures.

Here we go:

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

A selection of the easier to find ones on google.

Then, naturally, you can steal from the Simpsons; all of Bart's prank calls to Moe over the years have to be useful for something, right?

 

[Not-here-anymore]

My favorite types of puns are the Pokemon ones.

Ditto.

That was a good one, it made me laugh.

I thought it would give you a shuckle.

You'd better stop now, you're going to Jynx it.

It look like they're still getting your seel of approval.

Okay these are getting a little too Farfetch'd.

I'm still seaking for some more pokemon we can use.

Now these are starting to make me Drowzee.

That one's natu shabby.

This whole thread has my sister Weezing in laughter.

Well, I luvdisc thread, but I relicanth stay any longer.

I Wailord on the last person that threatened to leave me.

That was dratini bit confusing, can you explain it

I could but I would rather be Slaking off.

I can't Bayleef you people still have more of these. Oh well, Wynaut carry on for a while.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Oh, god, we're going to see every pun known to man in this thread now, aren't we?

I think things are getting a bit cOLD in here.

 

[Patex99]

MY FAVOURITE PUN EVER IS!!!

First Guy: Puns aren't funny...

Second Guy: Thats just your oPUNion!

 

[superbatranger]

"So, the zoo keeper says it was an accident? Looks like we're going to have to find out..*puts on sunglasses*..if he's lion or not.

YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[sub]Gawddamn David Caruso with his one liners.[/sub]

 

[Capt. Crankypants]

I'm not sure if alot of these are puns or just jokes, but anyway... My favourites tend to be clever wordplay.

For example, my brother was lobbing tennis balls, so I called him a lobster.
(this actually happened, and it worked awesome)

 

[Revolutionary]

To make a pun joke is *puts on sunglasses* our pundamental right.

LOL putting on the sunglasses inproved that by 10000%

 

[gostchiken]

My favorite types of puns are the Pokemon ones.

Ditto.

That was a good one, it made me laugh.

I thought it would give you a shuckle.

You'd better stop now, you're going to Jynx it.

It look like they're still getting your seel of approval.

Okay these are getting a little too Farfetch'd.

I'm still seaking for some more pokemon we can use.

Now these are starting to make me Drowzee.

That one's natu shabby.

This whole thread has my sister Weezing in laughter.

Well, I luvdisc thread, but I relicanth stay any longer.

I Wailord on the last person that threatened to leave me.

That was dratini bit confusing, can you explain it

I could but I would rather be Slaking off.

I can't Bayleef you people still have more of these. Oh well, Wynaut carry on for a while.

I'm trying to Weedle out coming up with new ones.

 

[SlowShootinPete]

My favorite types of puns are the Pokemon ones.

Ditto.

That was a good one, it made me laugh.

I thought it would give you a shuckle.

You'd better stop now, you're going to Jynx it.

It look like they're still getting your seel of approval.

Okay these are getting a little too Farfetch'd.

I'm still seaking for some more pokemon we can use.

Now these are starting to make me Drowzee.

That one's natu shabby.

This whole thread has my sister Weezing in laughter.

Well, I luvdisc thread, but I relicanth stay any longer.

I Wailord on the last person that threatened to leave me.

That was dratini bit confusing, can you explain it

I could but I would rather be Slaking off.

I can't Bayleef you people still have more of these. Oh well, Wynaut carry on for a while.

I'm trying to Weedle out coming up with new ones.

I keep expecting you guys to run out of puns, but then alakazam, here's another one.

Spoiler: You're all very lopunny

As for me, I always wanted to be a gynecologist, but could never find an opening.

http://www.instantrimshot.com/

 

[gostchiken]

My favorite types of puns are the Pokemon ones.

Ditto.

That was a good one, it made me laugh.

I thought it would give you a shuckle.

You'd better stop now, you're going to Jynx it.

It look like they're still getting your seel of approval.

Okay these are getting a little too Farfetch'd.

I'm still seaking for some more pokemon we can use.

Now these are starting to make me Drowzee.

That one's natu shabby.

This whole thread has my sister Weezing in laughter.

Well, I luvdisc thread, but I relicanth stay any longer.

I Wailord on the last person that threatened to leave me.

That was dratini bit confusing, can you explain it

I could but I would rather be Slaking off.

I can't Bayleef you people still have more of these. Oh well, Wynaut carry on for a while.

I'm trying to Weedle out coming up with new ones.

I keep expecting you guys to run out of puns, but then alakazam, here's another one.

Spoiler: You're all very lopunny

As for me, I always wanted to be a gynecologist, but could never find an opening.

http://www.instantrimshot.com/

My girlfriend is having no luck in findging Abra that will fit her.