Poll: Sexy convention costumes - okay to stare?

[keniakittykat]

Pro tip: Be female, or just a really hot guy. You can ogle/stare at anyone or anything for as long as you like without it being deemed "creepy".

If you're not a female (or a sexy guy) then you'll have to settle with quick glances.

The best advice I can give in that case is to just walk up to the cosplayer in question, say hello, and ask if you can take a good look at the awesome costume they're wearing. If you come across as genuinely interested in the costume, most women won't be creeped out, and might actually let you look from all angles.

 

[Falling_v1legacy]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbsmbCWUNEE
Just go by the wisdom of Seinfeld.

"It's like the sun, you don't stare at it. Too risky. You get a sense of it, and then you look away."

 

[Johnny Impact]

There's a line. Unfortunately the line is a three-dimensional object. Where the line is depends on
-how attractive the guy is
-how attractive the girl is
-how exuberant and outgoing she is, how appreciative she is of attention in general
-exact nature of the attention, there's a difference between 'quick sweep and appreciative smile' and 'sweaty eye-rape'
-how revealing the costume is
-how realistic she can be about the nature of the average con attendee, guys in general, and how provocative her appearance is
-how much unwanted attention she's already received by that point

and on and on.

Please note that I do not condone 'sweaty eye-rape' or harassment of any kind, nor is 'the nature of the average con attendee' intended to excuse inappropriate behavior. Guys need to be better. I am continually embarrassed and infuriated by the slack-jawed callousness of my gender. I understand why women get angry.

However, I also hold the opinion that girls should think before dressing as Ms Fanservice in a building full of guys, a few of whom are likely to have weird, repressed, unhealthy crushes on the character she's dressed as. Ladies, there *is* such a thing as painting a target on your chest (or other choice portions of your anatomy.)

 

[faefrost]

There's a line. Unfortunately the line is a three-dimensional object. Where the line is depends on
-how attractive the guy is
-how attractive the girl is
-how exuberant and outgoing she is, how appreciative she is of attention in general
-exact nature of the attention, there's a difference between 'quick sweep and appreciative smile' and 'sweaty eye-rape'
-how revealing the costume is
-how realistic she can be about the nature of the average con attendee, guys in general, and how provocative her appearance is
-how much unwanted attention she's already received by that point

and on and on.

Please note that I do not condone 'sweaty eye-rape' or harassment of any kind, nor is 'the nature of the average con attendee' intended to excuse inappropriate behavior. Guys need to be better. I am continually embarrassed and infuriated by the slack-jawed callousness of my gender. I understand why women get angry.

However, I also hold the opinion that girls should think before dressing as Ms Fanservice in a building full of guys, a few of whom are likely to have weird, repressed, unhealthy crushes on the character she's dressed as. Ladies, there *is* such a thing as painting a target on your chest (or other choice portions of your anatomy.)

Does "Sweaty Eye Rape" require trigger warnings?

 

[Johnny Impact]

There's a line. Unfortunately the line is a three-dimensional object. Where the line is depends on
-how attractive the guy is
-how attractive the girl is
-how exuberant and outgoing she is, how appreciative she is of attention in general
-exact nature of the attention, there's a difference between 'quick sweep and appreciative smile' and 'sweaty eye-rape'
-how revealing the costume is
-how realistic she can be about the nature of the average con attendee, guys in general, and how provocative her appearance is
-how much unwanted attention she's already received by that point

and on and on.

Please note that I do not condone 'sweaty eye-rape' or harassment of any kind, nor is 'the nature of the average con attendee' intended to excuse inappropriate behavior. Guys need to be better. I am continually embarrassed and infuriated by the slack-jawed callousness of my gender. I understand why women get angry.

However, I also hold the opinion that girls should think before dressing as Ms Fanservice in a building full of guys, a few of whom are likely to have weird, repressed, unhealthy crushes on the character she's dressed as. Ladies, there *is* such a thing as painting a target on your chest (or other choice portions of your anatomy.)

Does "Sweaty Eye Rape" require trigger warnings?

At first I thought this was some kind of gun reference responding to my 'painting a target' comment. In which case I don't understand what you meant.

Then I googled it. Urban Dictionary says:

A phrase posted at the beginning of various posts, articles, or blogs. Its purpose is to warn weak minded people who are easily offended that they might find what is being posted offensive in some way due to its content, causing them to overreact or otherwise start acting like a dipshit. Popular on reddit SRS or other places that social justice warriors like to hang out.

Trigger warnings are unnecessary 100% of the time due to the fact that people who are easily offended have no business randomly browsing the internet anyways. As a result of the phrases irrelevance, most opinions that start out with this phrase tend to be simplistic and dull since they were made by people ridiculous enough to think that the internet is supposed to cater to people who can't take a joke.

The only thing I can come up with for that is you're saying guys should tell women they're about to start staring, in case they're easily offended? Which doesn't make any sense, given that guys who stare typically do not care if they give offense?

So I guess....I still don't know what you're getting at?

 

[marioandsonic]

I'd say that staring at someone for a while is always rude, because otherwise we'll be getting in a situation where we can stare and stare and stare at the eyes of a woman in a niqab, defending it by saying "Well, if she didn't want me to stare at her gorgeous eyes then why'd she go out in public without wearting sunglasses?"

With that said, though, there's nothing wrong with a quick look. People do have the right to look at other human beings.

And if you wanna be classy, then just say "That's a very nice cosplay. Is it okay if I take a picture?" or something like that. If she says yes, which cosplayers pretty much always do since they appreciate appreciation, you take a pic and then, when you're home, you can ogle the pic all you want. Because let's face it, what you do with a photo that you took yourself, of a person who gave you permission, is your own business (as long as it doesn't hurt anybody or break any laws).

This is pretty much my thoughts.

I was at a gaming convention last month, and there were plenty of people there in costumes. If there was one I really liked, I asked them if I could take a picture. For all of the people I asked, they said yes.

 

[Harleykin]

i'm not going to read six pages of posts to see if my opinion is already in here somewhere but anyway:
if you put on display...you are putting it ON DISPLAY.

showing a lot of cleavage? i'll look
friggin short shorts? i'll look
so on and so on.
not the drooling creepy way but i'm sorry if i find the other person attractive and they wear clothes that leave little to the imagination well...yeah you got my eyes on you and i basically don't care if you recognize it. i won't stare but i won't blush if you caught where my eyes went either. you chose to wear it, i chose to look at it. we both will have to face the concequences.
i might get called out for it and you'll have way more eyes on you then a thing with a lot of eyes(....uhm hell yeah)
i'm not wearing speedos in public and freak out if you stare at my junk.

and yes i'd take a discussion opening with "you perv stop looking" anytime

 

[generals3]

Well it depends on how you define "staring" (previous discussions on this topic has shown this is not as straight forward as it sounds).

But anyway, staring is rude (regardless of who and why) and therefor should be avoided. Looking/peaking? That's more than fine. After all we humans have been given eyes for that exact purpose and i'd say it would be masochistic to force yourself not to even look at someone who you think is attractive/hot/whatever. Life should be enjoyed.

At the same time i'd also want to point out that while staring is rude and should be avoided jumping on someone who you feel is staring can be even worse. (Considering the definition of staring will depend on the individual and they could not even be staring at you (they could be day-dreaming))

 

[barbzilla]

I would say a big part of this issue relates to how you handle being caught looking (no matter if you were just glancing or staring, you were still looking). If the subject of your gaze happens to look your way and find you looking at them, it is simple enough to smile and nod (or a simple compliment that doesn't venture into the creepy zone) and you have effectively diffused the situation without hurting anyone's feelings. In fact you have probably boosted their morale. On the other hand if you just continue leering at them after you have caught their attention, it starts getting creepy. This isn't just because you are looking at her, but more so she is wondering how far you are going to go with this. You also have the people who just look away (guiltily) when they get caught, which also can breed a creepy vibe.

As for the subject at hand, it is all based on situations. If she is dressed up in a revealing manner and doing something attention grabbing, she is looking for the attention and provided you don't go out of bounds (touching is strictly out of bounds unless invited to) then you are fine to look all you want. If she is just walking from booth to booth, she probably just wanted to dress like her favorite character, and you are free to look, but don't break into the creep zone (I.E. intently staring with mouth hanging open is pretty bad). There isn't always a clear cut situation where it is okay and where it isn't, you just have to learn to use your social skills in an effective way to be able to read the situation.

 

[JET1971]

Why stare when it makes you look like a lecherous creep? Unless that's the image you want to portray and make woman uncomfortable. Look, admire craftsmanship, and compliment the costume in that order then move on is enough. If you really need to stare take a picture, it really does last longer lol.

 

[Edguy]

That varies hugely from woman to woman, wouldn't it? Some gets annoyed if you as much as look their way, some don't mind being checked out, and some enjoy being starred at and take that as a compliment.

Also, I think it's fair to say that girls cosplaying in obviously sexual costumes would be kind of stupid to be offended by someone looking at them in a sexual way. These two Peach cosplays should expect (and recieve) different kind of attention, for example:

Spoiler

 

[Dansen]

It's like staring at the sun. Quick peaks won't hurt you but when you flat out stare, well then we have a problem.

Unless you wear sunglasses!

Thank you for making my day(comment+profile pic)

 

[Reaper195]

No. It is never okay to stare. There is nothing wrong with taking a look and going "Wow, that looks awesome." and moving on, but not standing their with a gormless look on your face and not looking away. It's fuckin' creepy and rude as hell.

 

[SUPA FRANKY]

It's preety rude to stare for too long. Sure, nothing is wrong with taking a flew glances here and then, maybe asking for a picture and telling them you like their costume, but staring at her cleavage or his crotch? Going too far.

Sure, nothing is stopping you from DOING that, but not only will you look like a huge pervert ( which sorta ruins any chance you would have had with the person in question), but you can get thrown out of the con.

 

[Vegosiux]

Sure, nothing is stopping you from DOING that, but not only will you look like a huge pervert ( which sorta ruins any chance you would have had with the person in question), but you can get thrown out of the con.

Ehhh, why is there always this implication that looking means wanting to have sex with whatever you're looking at. I mean, I totally look with adoration at a nice steak on my plate, but I'm not going to stick my cock in it >.>

 

[generals3]

Sure, nothing is stopping you from DOING that, but not only will you look like a huge pervert ( which sorta ruins any chance you would have had with the person in question), but you can get thrown out of the con.

Ehhh, why is there always this implication that looking means wanting to have sex with whatever you're looking at. I mean, I totally look with adoration at a nice steak on my plate, but I'm not going to stick my cock in it >.>

Man, you don't know what you're missing, i mean it's some nice juicy tender meat... (Ok i think i just disgusted myself)

But yeah, you bring up a good point, which also shows just how much people love to jump to conclusions. I mean I stare at Goths or hippies (examples), but it sure as hell isn't because i want to stick anything in em...

 

[Strazdas]

Staring = admiration. if we dont like what we see we dont look at it. we look at you because we admire how you look.

When you go to a convertion in a costume, you WANT people to look at you, else why would you wear a costume in the first place. to complain that people look at you afterwards is ridiculous.

oh sure it sounds perfectly innocent when you say it like that

"I'm entitled to staring and oggling you because youre dressed like that" doesn't sound so nice...

how about "im entitled to staring because i have eyes"? you know the best part? so are you.

Or how about "you dress like that BECAUSE you want to be looked at"?

Its amazing how many people (both male and female) will spend hours trying to look as good as they can and then get angry when other people notice they look good.