Poll: Should parents have to pay back their kids

[Meta 99]

Think of it as rent.

 

[Roroshi14]

If it's your money it's your money, they shouldn't take it without your permission or your consent. If you give them money, than they should pay you back if only to establish that, that is how real life works. Your parents shouldn't be obligated to pay you anything, unless your over 18. then count yourself lucky that they haven't kicked your ass out, or charging you rent. But yea you make the money, you decided 100% what happens to it.

 

[BabyRaptor]

When someone borrows money, they pay the person back. If I borrow cash from my dad I have to at least give him change, but I try to back him back full.

Well recently I started cutting grass to have some extra cash and not have to rely on him all the time to do things like go to concerts, movies or baseball games.

Sometimes he wants to borrow cash so he doesn't have to go to the bank or ATM. I owe him for life basically and he'll write an IOU. He's very good at getting me my money, but if he's late I really don't mind.

My mom on the other hand, who is just a stay at home mom, will sometimes just take money from me and not tell me. Sometimes she just goes out of her way to avoid paying me back.

Sometimes I'll read topics on here where people will say "Their house, their rules" but does that apply in all situations.

TL;DR

Your mother is stealing from you. You need to bring this up with both of them and try and make it stop. If you can't, keep your money on you at all times so she can't get it. That's just a crock of shit...The fact that she raised you doesn't give her the right to steal from you.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

Well assuming she is paying for just the kind of things that your father is taking you, or extra clothing and whatnot. Then absoultely she should pay you back! You worked for that money, it is yours. However, if for whatever reason she can't pay for something that I would assume she usually pays for from your fathers cash (you said she was a stay at home mom right?) and it is not a simple luxury then I suppose you have to just let it be, she raised you blah blah blah gave you life blah blah blah blah.
Now the fact that she is taking your money without your consent? That is not okay, not only is it extremely petty to take money from your own kid to pay for yourself, but you said she also goes out of the way to not pay for it. It seems to me she has some responsibility issue's dude. Might want to talk to her and/or your dad about that.

 

[MorsePacific]

I've loaned my mom cash when she needed some and more often than not she pays me back, but the few times she hasn't I've never been angry about it. Even more often she's sent me out to buy things for her (a transistor for her car's A/C, a lawnmower for the house, etc.) and just throws the money back into my bank account.

So, based on my experience, I think they should have to pay you back to an extent. For a few dollars here and there, well, they're your parents and you can give back a little bit. Your mom's way of doing it is a tad messed up, though.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

If you are making your own money from your labor, yes they should pay it back. With me, pretty much all of the money I have comes from my parents, so they can take it back pretty freely as far as I'm concerned. Currently I'm working for my dad and I wouldn't appreciate them taking away the money I get from that when I get paid for my work in a bit, but honestly, with the amount they've spent on me I wouldn't even be too upset by that.

 

[Sporky111]

Yeah, your mom's stealing from you and she has no right to. You earned that money yourself, just because she squeezed you out and fed you your whole life doesn't mean she can just take your stuff. You should really talk to her about it, or at least get better at keeping your money safe.

 

[Sporky111]

You ARE in the position to question them and demand it back - as others said your parents should have been aware of the burden a child(/children) brings with them.

Faaaark. I give up. You're right. Raising children is a binary activity. You either raise them or you don't. There's no such thing as exceeding the baseline responsibilities of supporting a child. You've opened my eyes -_-

Anyway, whether or not the child is indebted is irrelevant. My point is that parents (rightfully so) have power over children they're supporting. Is taking money laudable behaviour? No. Are parents within their rights to do it? Certainly. I certainly don't believe this should be interfered with, and I doubt either of us will remotely budge from our stance.

Putting aside the antiquated "power over your children" idea, why should a parent have a right to whatever their child has? He worked for that money, he earned it. They don't automatically get a claim to it simply on the merit of being his parents.

 

[mysecondlife]

I'm surprised that you seem to focus your issues on money. Between me and my parents, money hardly matters.

I would however take issues with my mom's taking money without my permission. She basically steals your money and that itself is a trust issue right there.

 

[sabercrusader]

I think that they should depending on the circumstances. If they really need it for something like much needed food or something like that then they don't need to, if it's for themselves only and it costs a lot then yeah, they should have to pay you back.If it dosn't cost too much then I wouldn't worry about it and go ahead and tell them they don't need to give you money back, most of the time when my mom or dad ask me for money, they'll give it back at some point.

 

[Vausch]

It's really dependant on the situation. If you can give the money to them without them needing to pay you back, then odds are it's a small amount and you should just let them have it. Think of it as buying them a gift.

If you're strapped for cash and can't part with any amount for too long because you have expenses of your own or are saving for something big, then yes a parent should pay you back.

Everything is situational.

 

[DracoSuave]

They should, but legally, depending on your age and your country you don't have full rights until a certain age (17 or 18 usually here), they don't have to.

Actually, you do have property rights as a minor. If you own it and earned it, it's yours no matter your age.

That is unless like you were getting large sums of money for something like modeling. Then the government requires that that money either be spent on you or saved for you in some way, or atleast that's what I've been told. But what exactly constitutes a large sum is unknown to me.

Keep things civil with your dad. If your mom takes money and you end up short, just ask to borrow money from him, explaining that, yes, mom took the last of your money, so now you're short. Mutual borrowing arrangements between family and friends is aokay. Don't worry about getting paid back, just remember he's there if you need him.

And, of course, if your mom's taking your money and that's why your short, this might actually do something about that as well.

 

[JMeganSnow]

If a parent borrows cash from their kid, should they pay them back?

Yes. If they don't want to pay you back, they should ask, and get your agreement ahead of time. Likewise if you borrow money from your parents, you should pay THEM back.

It's all part of gradually transitioning to independent adulthood. While you're still dependent on your parents, there may be some blurred times (if your parents are really strapped for money, they may stop giving you allowance for a time, for instance). But once you're earning money on your own instead of being given everything by your parents, it's time to start treating that as YOUR money, which your parents have no more right to than they do the money of the people who live down the street.

 

[Fursnake]

You should just be glad your parents don't make you pay back the money they spent raising you.

 

[JMeganSnow]

Keep things civil with your dad. If your mom takes money and you end up short, just ask to borrow money from him, explaining that, yes, mom took the last of your money, so now you're short. Mutual borrowing arrangements between family and friends is aokay. Don't worry about getting paid back, just remember he's there if you need him.

And, of course, if your mom's taking your money and that's why your short, this might actually do something about that as well.

You might also consider opening a bank account for yourself, or getting a lock box or some such (you can also keep your important documents in it such as your birth certificate/passport/insurance paperwork).

 

[JMeganSnow]

You should just be glad your parents don't make you pay back the money they spent raising you.

They have no claim on you for this money. The decision to have a child was unilaterally theirs, and brings with it the obligation to support you until you are of age to support yourself. Nor are you obligated to support them in their old age or even have anything to do with them after you leave the nest.

 

[Croaker42]

Less then a C note. Don't worry about it. Thats life and they are family.
If you dont have the cash to lend don't do it. They are family and they will understnad.
If that means you have to stash cash somewhere she can't get it, then do so.
Over all get over it and adjust behavior.

 

[Rensenhito]

Your mother should respect your property. If you earned the money on your own, it's yours.

 

[Yorkshire_matt]

You need a third button there's times and reasons for them paying back and them not, if they don't though I'm sure you still owe them more

 

[Char-Nobyl]

When someone borrows money, they pay the person back. If I borrow cash from my dad I have to at least give him change, but I try to back him back full.

Well recently I started cutting grass to have some extra cash and not have to rely on him all the time to do things like go to concerts, movies or baseball games.

Sometimes he wants to borrow cash so he doesn't have to go to the bank or ATM. I owe him for life basically and he'll write an IOU. He's very good at getting me my money, but if he's late I really don't mind.

My mom on the other hand, who is just a stay at home mom, will sometimes just take money from me and not tell me. Sometimes she just goes out of her way to avoid paying me back.

Sometimes I'll read topics on here where people will say "Their house, their rules" but does that apply in all situations.

TL;DR

If a parent borrows cash from their kid, should they pay them back?

Your mom sounds like a douche, mate. And a lazy douche at that.

But more to the point, yes, they should. 'Borrowing' is not 'borrowing' unless you give back what you took. That's the entire point. You don't 'borrow' money from a bank at gunpoint, and if your mom is taking your money without telling you, she's stealing from you.

My advice is to hide your money better, or just open a back account. And the 'I raise and support you' thing doesn't work quite as well when she doesn't have a job. If this were a case of an allowance, it might be a bit different, but you're out working for your damn money, which is more than she can say.