It depends. If they can, maybe they should. But it is their house and you're just borrowing their food, sooo... Hmmmm. Tricky one.
Poll: Should parents have to pay back their kids
- Thread starter unicron44
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To an extent? Fine, I think, though your case seems a tad too far.
I have basically my entire income (97%, roughly, going by a quick calculation) claimed by my parents, though, and since they also take some slight rent every once in a while (if they're so inclined at the time), I'm nigh-incapable of moving out, though I guess that might just be a matter of not working hard enough. I go through an odd cycle of being slightly bitter about this, then feeling terrible about having any issue with the situation.
I have basically my entire income (97%, roughly, going by a quick calculation) claimed by my parents, though, and since they also take some slight rent every once in a while (if they're so inclined at the time), I'm nigh-incapable of moving out, though I guess that might just be a matter of not working hard enough. I go through an odd cycle of being slightly bitter about this, then feeling terrible about having any issue with the situation.
It's kinda funny that "Harmless unethical act" turns into "Child abuse" and "Mutually agreed payment plan between parent and child" turns into "Child labour"Sentox6 said:
The charm of the internet.
The answer isn't black/white I'm afraid. You're mum is obviously disrespecting you by simply taking your money. Talk to her and tell her you're OK with it just that you want her to ask the same way she would want you to ask and go from there. Try not to let money ruin your relationship with your parents, money is pretty much evil-incarnate.
And no, you don't owe them for your life. They chose to have you, you had no say in the matter. Anyone who decided to have kids shoulders the responsibility for that child. If your not as sure as possible that you can do a good job raising that child, then don't f**king have it. Too many selfish A**holes who have kids because they want something to love or someone to love them without giving a second thought to how they will actually raise the child blablablablabla.
That said, you should obviously help out where needed so long as you live with them etc.
And no, you don't owe them for your life. They chose to have you, you had no say in the matter. Anyone who decided to have kids shoulders the responsibility for that child. If your not as sure as possible that you can do a good job raising that child, then don't f**king have it. Too many selfish A**holes who have kids because they want something to love or someone to love them without giving a second thought to how they will actually raise the child blablablablabla.
That said, you should obviously help out where needed so long as you live with them etc.
It depends entirely on the amount of money. I don't borrow any money from my parents greater than the sum of one or two pounds at a time, usually just as change for the train fare. They never borrow (or, to my knowledge, take) money from me. If they needed to, I would let them, and knowing my parents they'd give it back. But if it was less than £10 or so I wouldn't really expect them to.
But it varies house-to-house, some familes are more informal and relaxed regarding finances than others.
But it varies house-to-house, some familes are more informal and relaxed regarding finances than others.
But the kid doesn't need the $20 the parent borrowed. It's nowhere near necessary for survival. So... I don't really understand your point.bakan said:
Well I would argue that stealing from a child isn't harmless. Even though there are no immediate effects, it is, at the very least, teaching the child they can simply take whatever they want. You could also agrue the psyological effects it would have, but I'm not the person to talk about that.Cherry Cola said:
Again... something like board is acceptable as long as it's agreed upon by both parties. However, what is happening here is the mother is taking money whenever she feels like without asking or having any intent of giving it back...
If it's money you earnt of your own effort, i.e you mowed lawn, they gave you money for this service, that's basically a business transaction, money in exchange for services.
If your Mum is taking your money without permission and without returning it, than her House Rules don't apply as she's broken THE ACTUAL LAW, and they kind of trump what your Mum says.
If your Mum is taking your money without permission and without returning it, than her House Rules don't apply as she's broken THE ACTUAL LAW, and they kind of trump what your Mum says.
The point is, even though a child is living 'under their parents roof' they aren't in debt to their parents and the parents aren't entitled to do what they want to do, in this case a mother just taking her childs money without asking or without any intention of paying it back.King Toasty said:
Alright, give me your gaming consoles, your computers, any televisions you own, DVDs, Video Games... none of those are "necessary" for your survival.King Toasty said:
You didn't just disagree with it. You attributed your moral values to my arguments and based your counter-argument on that, so in a sense all you did was respond with a Strawman argument.Flare Phoenix said:
I never really went after my parents for money they owe me, but the least they can do is ask. I always spotted my Mum or Dad a 20 or more when they needed it, but they always AT LEAST had the decency to ask me first.
That really is stealing -- Just because they raised you doesn't mean they have full reign over your finances. It's all about respect, and I'm not seeing much from your Mum here.
That really is stealing -- Just because they raised you doesn't mean they have full reign over your finances. It's all about respect, and I'm not seeing much from your Mum here.
Not completely in debt, but it'd be a dick move to always expect all the money back. Be nicer to your parents than to other people.bakan said:
That's not what I meant, and you goddamn know it. I meant it's not the parent's responsibility to pay back the kid,and I said that because it seemed like the point Bakan was making.
I was pointing out the absurdity of you comparing stealing to child abuse and then trying to claim that my argument supported both, not saying stealing was harmless. But you clearly didn't get that.Flare Phoenix said:
If they willingly give you money, or you earn it on your own, it is yours. Parents have every right to expect you to do chores, clean up after yourself, and generally pull your own weight, but that money is yours to do with as you wish. If you lend it, your parents should pay you back. Being lenient on when is the polite thing to do, but just taking from you is stealing. Legality aside, it is morally wrong.
If your parents are borrowing cash from you, that's a parenting fail. If they aren't paying you back, it's an epic fail.
I feel you OP. My mom currently owes me a running tally of roughly 1000-1500 dollars, somewhere in that ballpark. I keep reminding her, and if she was literally anyone else including my father I'd be pissed but...ya know...it's mom, and it's not like she's using it for little shit. They own their own small business but are losing big because of the economy and shitty business taxes right now. So yeah...kind of torn too.