Poll: Should parents have to pay back their kids

[Flare Phoenix]

Sure parents buy you a lot of things, feed you , spend lots of money on you. But thats their job, that comes with being a parent. You owe them nothing, thats make take on it.

I think on principle, yes, parents should pay back their kids.

That said, it's not quite as simple as you make it sound. Yes, by having a child there is the implicit obligation to take care of it. But it's not a binary obligation. The parents can do the bare minimum required, or they can spend extra time and money on education, health, hobbies, etc.

So yeah, if my parents just phoned it in, so to speak, I'd want my money back. But if they were actually good parents, I'm not so sure I'd be complaining.

If they were actually good parents, they wouldn't take money from their kids without asking...

 

[CATB320]

I don't think parents really need to pay their kids back, but it's more about the lesson than the money itself. By paying your kids back, you're teaching them to do the same when they borrow money.

 

[Cherry Cola]

snip

If this was a thread about "Should I forgive my mother", then you'd be right. Of course you should forgive the person that's done so much to raise you into this world. But this is a thread on whether or not it is unethical to take money your child has earned for himself, and there's no reason to write what you wrote. Because even if we accept the point your making (i.e. Kids don't have the right to complain), that's not a definite answer to the question. Rather, it's avoiding the issue at hand, since you're saying that kids aren't allowed to consider some of the actions of their parents to be unethical.

snip

The same thing goes for you.

Look, I get where you're both coming from. You are right about how kids often don't realize what their parents go through to raise them. But this isn't a spiteful question filled with disdain for the people that brought the OP into this world. He's actually acknowledging the fact that he owes his parents a lot. Do you think anyone would ask "Is it okay for drug dealers to borrow money and never pay back?" Absolutely not. But he knows that his parents are a special case, that he owes them more than he ever can repay, and he wants to know if that can hinder such an act from being unethical.

So cut the kid some slack, will ya?

 

[Anti Nudist Cupcake]

If your mom didn't let you know first and just took it from you, then she has done a very...lowly thing, even if it was just for necessities such as food, she could have at least let you know.

How low do you have to be to steal from your OWN CHILDREN?

Just tell her that if she desperately needs cash, you will lend it to her. She just needs to be kind and explain the situation and what she needs it for and ask you for it. Then she needs to just say when she will try to pay you back because all though she did raise you, you earned that cash from doing extra chores. Her expecting you to give your work money from chores you did for both the house and family is like expecting you to pay HER for the work you did.

If she needs the cash for necessities like petrol or food then don't expect from her to pay back, she really is in a desperate situation and you should be kinder to her.

But if she just takes it from you for unessential items and doesn't bother to sympathize with you or pay you back then damn, for the sake of not flaming I will remain quiet about my opinion of such a low person.

 

[Sentox6]

I think on principle, yes, parents should pay back their kids.

That said, it's not quite as simple as you make it sound. Yes, by having a child there is the implicit obligation to take care of it. But it's not a binary obligation. The parents can do the bare minimum required, or they can spend extra time and money on education, health, hobbies, etc.

So yeah, if my parents just phoned it in, so to speak, I'd want my money back. But if they were actually good parents, I'm not so sure I'd be complaining.

If they were actually good parents, they wouldn't take money from their kids without asking...[/quote]
Because life is that simple, right?

Look, my parents put a lot into me, and they've paid me back every cent they've borrowed religiously. Still, if your parents are anything other than absolute dickwads, and you're still living off their money in general, you can't really demand the money back, at least. Even more so the older you are, too.

On the flipside, taking money on the sly is just plain crappy, no disagreements there.

 

[briunj04]

Well, if a parent has to pay back their kids, then the kids should have to pay back their parents for loans. And considering it costs hundreds of thousands of dollars to raise a kid, that wouldn't be a very good deal. So no, parents shouldnt have to pay their kids back :3

 

[Biodeamon]

how many people here are parents? and how many parents voted no? see, you have to think from both sides both the kid and the parent to get this right.

what's the point on the kid having money if you just can take it?

 

[Woodscare]

It is not "Borrowing" if they do not return it

 

[Cherry Cola]

If they were actually good parents, they wouldn't take money from their kids without asking...

A single unethical act does not make them bad parents. In fact, several unethical acts wouldn't make them bad parents, if they were harmless enough. You can't say that a bad parent is someone who takes a little money form you and then doesn't pay back. That can very well be a good parent with a tiny little flaw. And you do realize that nobody is flawless, right?

 

[Flare Phoenix]

I think on principle, yes, parents should pay back their kids.

That said, it's not quite as simple as you make it sound. Yes, by having a child there is the implicit obligation to take care of it. But it's not a binary obligation. The parents can do the bare minimum required, or they can spend extra time and money on education, health, hobbies, etc.

So yeah, if my parents just phoned it in, so to speak, I'd want my money back. But if they were actually good parents, I'm not so sure I'd be complaining.

If they were actually good parents, they wouldn't take money from their kids without asking...

Because life is that simple, right?

Look, my parents put a lot into me, and they've paid me back every cent they've borrowed religiously. Still, if your parents are anything other than absolute dickwads, and you're still living off their money in general, you can't really demand the money back, at least. Even more so the older you are, too.



On the flipside, taking money on the sly is just plain crappy, no disagreements there.

Umm no... if a parent steals money from their own child, they immediately become a horrible and selfish parent - an "absolute dickwad" as you put it. How can anyone believe a parent should be entitled to their children's money, purely because they had to raise them? The parent decides what happens with their money; are you seriously trying to tell me the child shouldn't have that same basic right? The parent decides what to give their children and when. The child should have that same choice with THEIR OWN money.

 

[The Heik]

When someone borrows money, they pay the person back. If I borrow cash from my dad I have to at least give him change, but I try to back him back full.

Well recently I started cutting grass to have some extra cash and not have to rely on him all the time to do things like go to concerts, movies or baseball games.

Sometimes he wants to borrow cash so he doesn't have to go to the bank or ATM. I owe him for life basically and he'll write an IOU. He's very good at getting me my money, but if he's late I really don't mind.

My mom on the other hand, who is just a stay at home mom, will sometimes just take money from me and not tell me. Sometimes she just goes out of her way to avoid paying me back.

Sometimes I'll read topics on here where people will say "Their house, their rules" but does that apply in all situations.

TL;DR

If a parent borrows cash from their kid, should they pay them back?

Hell yes they should. Just because they raised you doesn't mean they can effectively break the law because of it. Anyways, you don't owe them a thing, they are simply paying off their debt to their parents by "ensuring that their genetic heritage continues on" aka giving grandchildren. The only thing you owe them is to try and do the same yourself.

As for your mother "borrowing" the money, I suggest you get a lock for whatever cash receptacle you have. Don't worry if that receptacle is small, there are some very tiny locks, and besides the point is to prevent so called "crimes of convenience". she can't borrow your money without either asking you explicitly or by breaking the lock, the latter of which you can call her out on.

 

[boag]

When someone borrows money, they pay the person back. If I borrow cash from my dad I have to at least give him change, but I try to back him back full.

Well recently I started cutting grass to have some extra cash and not have to rely on him all the time to do things like go to concerts, movies or baseball games.

Sometimes he wants to borrow cash so he doesn't have to go to the bank or ATM. I owe him for life basically and he'll write an IOU. He's very good at getting me my money, but if he's late I really don't mind.

My mom on the other hand, who is just a stay at home mom, will sometimes just take money from me and not tell me. Sometimes she just goes out of her way to avoid paying me back.

Sometimes I'll read topics on here where people will say "Their house, their rules" but does that apply in all situations.

TL;DR

If a parent borrows cash from their kid, should they pay them back?

What your mother is stealing not borrowing.

If its chump change I say let it pass, but tell her to please ask you before taking the money, or at least tell you she is going to take money.

If she is doing it to put food on the table, just let it go, if she is doing it to pay for her self pleasures, it might be time to tell your dad.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

If they were actually good parents, they wouldn't take money from their kids without asking...

A single unethical act does not make them bad parents. In fact, several unethical acts wouldn't make them bad parents, if they were harmless enough. You can't say that a bad parent is someone who takes a little money form you and then doesn't pay back. That can very well be a good parent with a tiny little flaw. And you do realize that nobody is flawless, right?

I believe stealing from your kid makes you a bad parent. It's got nothing to do with flaws. Taking money from someone is a conscious decision, which you can control. It's not like raising your voice when you get angry or something that is difficult to control. Really by your logic, you're condoning physical or sexual abuse to a child because they are just a "single unethical act".

 

[wyrmslayer1991]

Of course they should. Raising you is a responsibility and investment they took on willingly. And not one that you should be expected to pay back. You were not given a choice to be their kid. It was entirely on them and they knew the risks and expenses before it happened. Your mom is stealing from you. Pure and simple. Everything you have from them they gave you of their own free will. You didn't take it without asking like your mother's doing.

I hate my mother though. So I'm probably a tad biased on this subject, but I would have kicked her in the nuts long ago if she'd been stealing from me. The biggest mistake I think parents make is never admitting that their kid is their own person, and not the parents personal *****. Your dad is treating you like an adult. Legitimately borrowing from you, writing iou's and actually paying you back. You're mother, on the other hand, is still treating you like her little *****, and probably always will.

Fuckin mothers >_<

 

[Sentox6]

Umm no... if a parent steals money from their own child, they immediately become a horrible and selfish parent - an "absolute dickwad" as you put it.

As someone else has aptly pointed out, one unethical act does not a horrible and selfish parent make. Especially in a world where parents sometimes sexually/physically/emotionally abuse their children in horrific ways. It's hardly shining behaviour, but neither is it enough to entirely condemn a parent.

The parent decides what happens with their money; are you seriously trying to tell me the child shouldn't have that same basic right?

Actually, on this point I'll take a stronger stance. No, the child should not have that right. Children's rights are overblown enough. What's important is that children are treated humanely, ideally in a loving environment. Aside from that, if someone is living under their parents' roof, on their parents' money, then they don't have an infinite set of rights.

If the child starts paying a mutually agreed amount of board or something similar, then that's another matter.

Really by your logic, you're condoning physical or sexual abuse to a child because they are just a "single unethical act".

In fact, several unethical acts wouldn't make them bad parents, if they were harmless enough.

At least do people the courtesy of actually reading their posts.

 

[Dan Steele]

Yes, but only if they are stealing from you

 

[bakan]

snip

Actually, on this point I'll take a stronger stance. No, the child should not have that right. Children's rights are overblown enough. What's important is that children are treated humanely, ideally in a loving environment. Aside from that, if someone is living under their parents' roof, on their parents' money, then they don't have an infinite set of rights.

If the child starts paying a mutually agreed amount of board or something similar, then that's another matter.

A child cutting the grass, washing cars etc shouldn't have the right to use its money like it wants to and the parents have the right to do whatever they want as long the child lives with them without paying a part of the rent etc?
You actually wanna legalize child labour like this, nice one!

 

[Sentox6]

A child cutting the grass, washing cars etc shouldn't have the right to use its money like it wants to and the parents have the right to do whatever they want as long the child lives with them without paying a part of the rent etc?
You actually wanna legalize child labour like this, nice one!

Cheers bro!

P.S. 'Legalise' implies a current illegal status. I'd be interested in knowing where the law says parents can't take money a child has earned from untaxed income.

 

[bakan]

A child cutting the grass, washing cars etc shouldn't have the right to use its money like it wants to and the parents have the right to do whatever they want as long the child lives with them without paying a part of the rent etc?
You actually wanna legalize child labour like this, nice one!

Cheers bro!

P.S. 'Legalise' implies a current illegal status. I'd be interested in knowing where the law says parents can't take money a child has earned from untaxed income.

Child labour is illegal where I come from, don't know which third world country you come from - and child labour is even protected by the law that children are only legally allowed to earn a specific amount per month.
And parents who rip off their children of their own earned money are bad parents, end of the story.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Umm no... if a parent steals money from their own child, they immediately become a horrible and selfish parent - an "absolute dickwad" as you put it.

As someone else has aptly pointed out, one unethical act does not a horrible and selfish parent make. Especially in a world where parents sometimes sexually/physically/emotionally abuse their children in horrific ways. It's hardly shining behaviour, but neither is it enough to entirely condemn a parent.

The parent decides what happens with their money; are you seriously trying to tell me the child shouldn't have that same basic right?

Actually, on this point I'll take a stronger stance. No, the child should not have that right. Children's rights are overblown enough. What's important is that children are treated humanely, ideally in a loving environment. Aside from that, if someone is living under their parents' roof, on their parents' money, then they don't have an infinite set of rights.

If the child starts paying a mutually agreed amount of board or something similar, then that's another matter.

Really by your logic, you're condoning physical or sexual abuse to a child because they are just a "single unethical act".

In fact, several unethical acts wouldn't make them bad parents, if they were harmless enough.

At least do people the courtesy of actually reading their posts.

I did read their post; I just disagreed with it. In my opinion, stealing from someone is just as wrong as physically, sexually or emotionally abusing them (but that's not the discussion here).

Why shouldn't the child have the choice with what to do with their money? What is the point of a child doing some sort of work to get a bit of money, just to have a parent go "thank you, I'll be taking that now". Please explain your logic to me, because right now it makes no sense.

A child has no say in whether or not they are bought into the world. It is the parent's decision, and it is the parent's responsibility. Yes, a child is bound by the rules set by their parents, but taking money from them without their permission is just plain wrong.

Board is a completely different matter, and as you said it needs to be MUTUALLY AGREED upon (to an extent). You live in your parent's house you follow your parent's rules, I completely agree with that. However, at no point should one of the rules be "I can take your stuff without asking and with no intent of ever giving it back".

Answer me this: would you like it if you came home one day and your parents had sold everything you owned because they felt you owed them for raising you?