Poll: Spanking vs Grounding

[Giantpanda602]

I was never really grounded. My parents generally just didn't do that.

 

[falcon1985]

This whole topic seems odd to me, because my parents never grounded me. Spanking worked just fine, and I believe I am better off because of it.

So many parents shy away from corporal punishment these days it's sickening. My mom has worked at an elementary school for 14 years and she can almost instantly tell the kids who are spanked from the kids who are not.

For example, there was once a third grader who was brought in by his mother every day. And every day he would throw a fit and refuse to come into the building. His mother did nothing to help them get him in. So every day the rather muscular P.E. instructor would have to literally DRAG the kid into the building. The school counselor was always present to be witness so they could prove no abuse was occurring. He would only calm down when they finally got him to the classroom.

But every once in a while his dad would bring him in. As it turns out, the two were separated. And whenever his dad brought him in, he was perfectly happy and behaved just fine.

So one day my mom asks him about this. The dad explains that when he's with his mother, she lets the boy do whatever he wants. She tries to put him in time outs, but they do nothing and he just gets right up and goes back to what he's doing. But whenever he's with his dad, his dad makes him mind and spanks him when he refuses to listen.

I do believe there is a world of difference between punishment and abuse. However, I also believe that corporal punishment is a viable and effective option when all else fails.

I hope everyone that says spanking is abusive reads your post - you've given a good real world example, and all the people who are against spanking have, what? The word of a psychologist somewhere who has never had kids? It was effective on me and my brother, and it's been effective for thousands of years. Why should modern kids be any different?

Totally agree. I've had my ass handed to me by both my parents, and I thank them for it. God help me if I turned into one of those little shits I see around every day. (or the one descibed in that story for that matter.)

At the end of the day, a good spanking works. The only condition is that it stops at a spanking, and doesn't turn into a beating.

 

[DarkRyter]

Punishment through emotional neglect works.

"Dad, I made straight A's!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was too busy not giving a fuck."

 

[v3n0mat3]

I never considered asking for one over grounding. Grounding sucks, though.

 

[velcrokidneyz]

I had both at the same time when i was younger. It worked for me

 

[Escapefromwhatever]

@pat34us

Did that teach you anything about why stealing is wrong?
Moral acting because of fear of punishment is one of the lowest forms of moral acting.
I would not want to raise my kids to that.

That's level two right? I still think that whole scale is a bit ridiculous, though. Obscure psychology reference ftw!

 

[Naheal]

I got a light cuff if I was doing anything stupid. Didn't hurt, but it got my attention. I was lucky enough to where my parents would explain where I was going wrong and what the consequences of my actions would have been. I rarely actually got grounded, but, when I did, it was normally for something that deserved much worse.

I turned out fine.

 

[Jabberwock xeno]

Ground.

Even then only if it relates to what the child did wrong.

 

[Napierdalac]

Never been spanked, never been grounded.

I was disciplined in my early years, 1-6, so never really misbehaved after that. The problem now is parents dont set bounderies and therefor you get a little shit of a child. If you have clear bounderies from day one, a kid will rarely break them.

And another thing is, that children in a certain age 0-3 actually needs to be educated like a dog. A child that age dont understand if you talk to them why its wrong to hit another child, but if you yell out "AHAH" then the child will stop - just like a dog. Goes both ways, if a child does something good and you give them positive feedback, they will keep being good. This have worked for me and my siblings. None of us, have ever done anything really stupid.

 

[blankedboy]

I got a light cuff if I was doing anything stupid. Didn't hurt, but it got my attention. I was lucky enough to where my parents would explain where I was going wrong and what the consequences of my actions would have been. I rarely actually got grounded, but, when I did, it was normally for something that deserved much worse.

I turned out fine.

Is that a new avatar? Because you've got >7k posts and I've never seen that avvy before...

And spanking is illegal in New Zealand now, so people are FORCED to ground in this situation xD

 

[BENZOOKA]

Never got neither grounded nor spanked.

I was the kindest child.

 

[TheEvilCheese]

No, I've never really been punishable to be honest, I'd always just shrug it off and move on.

 

[Naheal]

I got a light cuff if I was doing anything stupid. Didn't hurt, but it got my attention. I was lucky enough to where my parents would explain where I was going wrong and what the consequences of my actions would have been. I rarely actually got grounded, but, when I did, it was normally for something that deserved much worse.

I turned out fine.

Is that a new avatar? Because you've got >7k posts and I've never seen that avvy before...

And spanking is illegal in New Zealand now, so people are FORCED to ground in this situation xD

I change it fairly regularly. Revolving door of avatars. That's been mine since Christmas was over.

 

[Chairman Miaow]

Parents never hit me, and it's kind of difficult to follow through with grounding if you have no way to stop them going out.

 

[DaJoW]

Never got spanked or grounded, so wouldn't have had use for it. Since it is illegal to use physical punishment on children and not only on adults here, doubt my parents would have liked it much.

 

[VanityGirl]

I was rarely grounded. Mainly because it's hard to keep a kid grounded for a long time without them finding a way to weasel out of their grounding or without them finding a way to have fun when they're grounded.

Always spanked. I preferred it that way because then I could tear up, go outside and play again.

 

[pat34us]

Yes. I would rather be spanked than grounded. I got completely grounded for a year once. I would rather have had a spanking and gotten it over with. A few seconds of pain and then 5 minutes of numbness vs. 1 year of complete and utter boredom? What would you pick? I was never given the choice; for this reason, grounding was usually more effective after about 5th grade.

A year is a long time, what did you do? My example is above a few posts.

Actually, it was originally a month, but I kept getting bad grades. I started getting better grades in about 6th or seventh grade. Strangely enough, that's when i started cursing like crazy.

I hate to admit this, but I often would get in trouble for lashing out at people who made fun of me and my last name. So 1) I didn't have many friends and 2) None of my teachers were decent enough to listen to me when I tried to explain that every one of those motherfuckers wouldn't shut up and let me read. I just didn't bother admitting this to my parents, so it appeared I was a bad kid when all I wanted was peace and quiet.

I got bad grades too (I was lazy), I often wonder if I would have done better in school if I was spanked instead of grounded (being grounded didn't really work).

 

[Trivun]

Both are absolutely retarded punishments and any parent who has even a remote understanding of basic education mechanics won't apply them.

A punishment that does not require a child to understand the reason it is punished for, isn't worth anything.

I disagree, I was smacked as a child and it taught me right from wrong. And I have absolutely no hesitation in saying that I would treat my own kids the same way when I have children, smacking them when they're naughty (and rewarding them when they're good, of course). It's how I was raised, and I turned out alright, which is saying something given the sort of kids I was exposed to and had to hang around with as a child (worse than chavs, for the record...).

And on that note, OP, I wouldn't exchange grounding for spanking, because I was spanked as a child anyway, so there...

 

[Exterminas]

@pat34us

Did that teach you anything about why stealing is wrong?
Moral acting because of fear of punishment is one of the lowest forms of moral acting.
I would not want to raise my kids to that.

That's level two right? I still think that whole scale is a bit ridiculous, though. Obscure psychology reference ftw!

I don't know how psychology views that stuff. But I think aristotele wrote about that in the nicomanic ethics, that's were I got it from.